(A/N): Yeah, so... ummmm... no comment? Well, this is just some stuff... Yeah... Read, review, ENJOY! =D
Disclaimer: Noooooooooooooooo. How many O's is it gonna take? I have time. Give me a number. Because I DON'T OWN GLEE!
I came so close. So close, I'm afraid to admit it.
Now, don't get me wrong; I have no idea whether or not it would have worked.
But I sure as hell came close to giving it my best effort.
I could feel my pulse – quickened with adrenaline and fear – against my fingertips.
Against the blade.
I shook, not even intending to get to that point.
It had been just a normal session; a couple of slices (eight, to be exact) here and there.
But, as I was searching for parts of my body where people wouldn't see, my hand found its way to my neck.
My delicate hand; holding that small, unimposing Swiss-army knife.
It would have been so easy… so easy to end it all.
Right then and there.
In fact, so easy, it makes me wonder why more people don't kill themselves.
It honestly isn't a hard thing to do.
So why aren't all of the news stations clogged with names of suicide victims?
Probably because all of those people are like me; afraid.
I was too scared.
Maybe if I'd had some premeditation; some time to prepare.
I just might have been able to do what I wanted, had I not been so terrified.
So terrified of what I might miss.
So I just dug the knife into my scalp, and moved on.
But it left me thinking.
Am I really that easy to set off?
Could I really kill myself just because I had an epiphany?
Because I was left lost and wandering for just a second?
Apparently so.
I'm out of control.
I'm a monster; a machine.
A machine with default settings to kill.
And it scares me, because it could happen so easily.
I came so close.
(A/N): Yup... true story. Anyway, this happened over a month ago. I was kinda not posting for a while. Get ready for a tidal wave of update of the dark and depressing sort! Oh yeah, the epiphany that sent me there was related to the whole fanfic world, so... it was a touchy subject for a while...