Dear Readers,
Before your read this and go back to the browser and run away as far as you can from it as possible, you should probably know why. This story contains the trials of my strange and unusual life as Hecate Persephone Black/Malfoy/Potter/Snape. Actually, my name used to be Harry Potter, but that is not important.
There are probably many more sad, unhappy, and bitter stories you can read, but I assure you, this is probably not going to be one. I realize there might be some slightly sad, or some slightly bitter scenes in my story, but it adds to my happy ending. Within the pages of this fanfic, there are rampaging youkai; young women in short sailor like outfits that run around destroying monsters and say corny speeches; playboy assassins and some with supernatural powers; and hard cold Sayain-jin who like to beat the crap out of gravity machines. Clearly, some people have a strange sense of doing things.
I have sworn to my best friends to write down my life story, and to write it down as best I can, so I should know that this fanfic is best left alone, laying on the browser, unopened, like you undoubtedly found it.
With all due respect,
Hecate Persephone Black/Malfoy/Potter/Snae
Harry Potter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I normally was a firm believer that a man stayed a man, but it seems I am sorely wrong. I have decided that my new *curse* - urgh, how I hate the thought - wears off, my beloved godfather, Headmaster, and professors will be on a one way trip to hell - via Harry Potter Express.
I guess I should explain a few things, shouldn't I? My name is Harry James Potter. I'm 15 years old and I'm going into my fifth year at Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My problem? My godfather (And most likely Remus Lupin), my professors, and headmaster have deemed it necessary that I have a new form of protection. So...
...they turned my into a god damned female.
They are *sooooo* dead.
The body they gave me really isn't *that* bad. It isn't something to sniff at either. I mean, (and I'm telling you this after I actually looked in a mirror) I have wavy black hair that goes down to my knees. Big, deep, emerald green eyes. Curvy hips, cute face, long legs, big bust - *that* took some getting used to! - a little shorten than I used to be (about 5'4, I think). I was hot! - at least by my standards I mean.
Here's how my first my first week of "training" went....
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I remember waking up in a blue, green, yellow, and red room. The colors were pastel of course, so that went the red was (*grimace*) pink. I HATE PINK!!!!!
My first thought was -
'What the hell is on my chest?'
And what I discovered, several seconds later, was that it was not what was on my chest - it was what was hanging from it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As I think back on it now, I feel that I would have done a banshee proud, as loud as that scream was anyway and how long and far it echoed.
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I was hiding in a dark corner of the Great Hall (after I found out I was in Hogwarts - I won't get into that), listening to the professor's conversation. Did I mention I was stuck in a fluffy *pink* bathrobe? Back to the conversation.
"Albus, that potion was supposed to make his greatest powers come out! Not transfigure him into a female!" Yelled Prof. Severus Snape.
"I know that Severus...but maybe Harry turning into a female will help him control the powers better." Albus Dumbledore, my headmaster suggested. Minerva McGonagall, my Transfiguration professor, rolled her eyes.
"Albus, he's a boy. Boys do NOT turn into girls! It's a fact of nature! Even *for* magic!" She said angrily.
"Minerva, my dear, we need to figure out a way to help Harry get through the school year. This potion lasts a long time, 10 months I believe, and Harry needs to go to Hogwarts for his classes." Albus smiled kindly at McGonagall.
"Why doesn't one of the female professors teach him how to be a girl while the males teach him how to use his powers?" Snape asked. I felt it was time I revealed myself.
As quietly as I could, and without being seen, I leaned up against the Great Hall doorway (still in the damned fuzzy pink bathrobe) and started my little practiced speech.
"You did know, didn't you, "I drawled in my now female, melodiotic voice, "that you are now on my top ten list of who I want dead?"
The professors of Hogwarts - all 20 of them - turned slowly to look at me (did I mention I was still in the PINK bathrobe?), and they looked afraid, very afraid....
Prof. Severus Snape summed up the one thing that all the professors had on their minds -
"Oh shit...."
From that day on (the day I scared the professors silly), I was sent to Minerva
McGonagall's house for her etiquette class. My version? The Torture Class From Hell.
There, I was trained to bat my eyes flirtatiously, swing my hips seductively, make
people give in to my innocent look, and flirt shamelessly with men (*gross!* *gross!* gross!*).
My favorite memory was when we first started....
Ah, I wish I could relive that moment....
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"No! No! No!" McGonagall screamed in frustration "Potter, you bat your eyes like this."
And Minerva McGonagall did just that. She batted her eyelashes just so to give off a feeling that she was just helpless old lady. How did she do that?
"You make it look so easy though..." I whined pitifully. McGonagall rolled her eyes at my antics. She knew I was faking it. Damn!
"You should stop that right now, Potter, it won't get you anywhere." She said as she started to rifle through the clothes rack beside us. She pulled out an extremely short, black leather dress that had off the shoulder, two inch sleeves.
"Put that on, Potter." McGonagall disappeared from the bedroom I was staying. I
slowly tugged on the dress and as I discovered, the dress was soft and silky, but was still extremely tight - this, unfortunately lifted my bust (still getting used to that!) up
high enough that people from 30 feet away could tell I had a *very* good sized rack on me.
I felt a soft air current on my upper thigh. I looked down. Oh yeah, I was right! This dress was WAY to short! The dress (if you could call it a dress) only came down to my *upper* thigh. To short in my book. Wonder what Sirius will do when he sees me in this - this monstrosity.
"Potter, you can come out from behind that now."
"Abso - freaking - lutley not!" I muttered back as I unconsciously tugged the dress's hem down lower.
"You either come out or I'll come back there. You don't want that do you?"
The one thing I learned was that Minerva McGonagall drove a hard bargain. I shook my head ruefully and walked solemnly out from behind the dressing curtain. I felt my face go red since I didn't hear her say anything.
"You look fantastic Potter." McGonagall smiled. I felt a wave of relief wash over me.
"Now put on these heels." McGonagall commanded. I looked up, knowing that my
expression probably conveyed horror. I stared in horrified shock at the weird looking shoes.
"I have absolutely *no* idea how to put those on." I stated bluntly. McGonagall
rolled her eyes. (She seems to be doing that a lot lately.)
"I'll do it." McGonagall smirked and grabbed my right leg. She fitted the "shoe" on and then started to wrap it up my leg till it ended just below my knee. She did the same thing for the other leg. The straps she had wrapped around my leg were about a 1/2 an inch wide and were really thin. The straps were in a cross pattern.
"Cool." I said and admired the shoes.
"Walk." McGonagall commanded. I immediately stood up, but I hadn't realized that the heels were extremely small and extremely high. I was only on my feet for 5
seconds before I fell flat on my face.
That was the start of the many times I would kiss the carpet on this horrible day....
I had had such a fun time (yeah right!) at McGonagall's house. Okay, I guess not - but I have now learned the finer points of being a girl. Now all I had to do was master my so called "hidden power". The day I walked into the Great Hall of Hogwarts like I owned the place. The day I embarrassed the hell out of Prof. Severus Snape.
I will remember that day forever....
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"Okay Potter, time to go." McGonagall sighed as I literally bounced around the front hall of the McGonagall house.
"POTTER!" McGonagall snapped as I came dangerously close to knocking over a favorite vase.
"Yes?"
"Stay still." McGonagall said and grabbed my arm. I felt a floating sensation and then I was standing in Hogsmeade.
"YES!!!" I yelled and dashed off towards Hogwarts.
"POTTER!!!!!"
"BY PROF. MCGONGAL!! SEE YA AT HOGWARTS!!!!" I yelled back.
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As soon as I had reached the cursed building of magical teaching, I knew something was different. Well, for starters - the teachers were calling me Hecate or
Ms. Black. I also caught a few of the male professors staring at my heavily exposed tan legs. I had pointedly ignored them.
I finally found out that Prof's Dumbledore and Snape (along with Sirius) were in the Headmaster's office. I grinned at that little tidbit of information. I was going to have FUN!!!
I ran as quickly as I could towards the Headmaster's office. I stopped just outside the stone gargoyle to change my clothes - with a wand, mind you! That day, I had been wearing a white cotton summer dress that brushed my thighs and was a halter style top. Black pumps were on my feet. My long hair was pulled back into a stern looking plait.
And with a flick of my wand, I was wearing a shear, baby blue dress (something extremely see through!), white platform sandals with skinny straps criss- crossing my across my feet, makeup to highlight my now feminine features, and to top it off - I charmed a pair of sky blue angel wings to flutter occasionally from my shoulder blades. Silvery blue nail polish glittered from my two inch razor sharp nails. A golden chain that hung in an area near my stomach held a star shaped stone with two small red crystals coming from that. My earrings were the same as my necklace charm.
Oh yeah, if this didn't make those two idiots speechless, I don't know what will.
I teleported (a new trick I picked up while practicing my new training) inside the small corridor and floated (using the wings) till I reached the door to the office. I heard them talking about how they were going to train me - so I decided to interrupt (they weren't getting anywhere anyway!)
I telepathically blew the door open with a resounding crash and then - while they turned their heads - created a small storm of golden stars, hearts, and glitter. When that settled down, I was leaning against the doorway with a sexy smile gracing my full lips while my eyes sparkled entrancingly at them. The shear, baby blue dress did nothing to cover my figure, and only shade what was underneath. (Did I ever mention there was a slit up to the hip on the right side of the dress?) I sexily put my leg at an angle where it was uncovered by the long slit. I felt my wings flutter and a small cloud of silver dust flew delicately in front of me.
Sirius' mouth was somewhere near the vincity of the royal blue carpet and Snape was staring unabashed at me somewhere below my face and neck. Then I uttered the few words that would change their perspectives on*exactly* how I was going to get through the year -
"Want a piece of me big boys?"
Sirius fell out of his chair while Snape choked on the air he was breathing. Dumbledore sat there with a massive smile on his wrinkled face as his blue eyes twinkled in amusement. I decided that I had teased them enough.
I burst out laughing and the disguise disappeared. I was now dressed in a short, mint green summer dress with my "angel makeup" on. Pair of soft white pumps was on my feet. I quickly conjured up a chair and sat down.
"Harry?" Sirius gasped. I was still laughing, but I managed to nod yes. Sirius looked like he was going to faint.
"Oh my god..." Snape choked and finally gained his composure. I giggled girlishly.
"Dumbledore, are you sure those two can act like civilized adults and not grope me and/or undress me with their mind?" I asked suspiciously. If Dumbledore hadn't been laughing earlier, he was now!
"Grope you?' Sirius asked wonderingly. "I'm more worried about some male Hogwarts' student in an invisibility cloak groping you!"
"Being groped by an invisible man, Sirius? Sounds kind of kinky don't ya think?" I asked with a saucy wink. Sirius blushed crimson. I think he forgot I'm actually male inside.
"What has McGonagall been teaching you?!?!?!" Sirius yelled pitifully.
"Been teaching me what, Sirius?" I asked seriously. (A.N. No pun intended!)
"Never mind, Harry, never mind." Sirius groaned.
"No, what do you think I've been teaching him, Sirius Black? Hmmm?"
McGonagall has made the scene!
"Nothing appropriate, that's for sure!" Sirius grumbled. "But this is scandalous!!! A male that understands females and a woman that understands men!" Sirius continued. "You've corrupted the last of the Potter line! Change him back!!!!!" Sirius threw himself and wrapped his arms tightly around McGonagall's legs and started to beg.
"No Sirius."
"Please?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I said so."
"Who cares what you want! Change him back!!!!" Sirius wailed.
"NO!"
"Pretty please?"
"NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Prof. Dumbledore," I started. "I have a plan."
*************************************************
I decided to wear a pair of flared black leather pants that clung shamelessly to my new and improved figure. I emerald green halter top (skin tight as well) was a bonus. I wore slip on platform shoes and large hoop earrings.
Draco Malfoy, be afraid - be VERY afraid...because your cousin is going to embarrass the hell out of you....
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I watched and waited for Draco Malfoy to come through the Great Hall door. Wouldn't it so happen that he came through the door arguing face to face with Ron (my best friend) Weasley. I suddenly realized all the *fun* I was going to have embarrassing Draco in front of Ron and Hermione.
Today, Hecate (Harry) Black was going to debut her (his) wonderful acting skills.
I made my aura flare up (I unknowing brought all the Great Hall's attention to me - except for Ron and Draco that is!) and fake crocodile tears fell down my face. I (literally) flew all the way across the Great Hall and intersected a crash course with Draco. With a cry of -
"DRACO I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!"
-and an -
"OH SHIT!!!!!"
- Draco Orion Malfoy and Hecate (Harry) Persephone Black flew threw the open Great Hall doors.
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I knew the Great Hall was gaping at what had happened. I hadn't even told Dumbledore about my plan - or my relation to Draco Malfoy. Oh well. I am *sooooo*glad I wrote Draco about my (*grimace*) predicament.
So, there I sat with the whole student body watching us, on Draco Malfoy's chest exchanging for boxing his ears, poking his ribs, banging his head on the floor, and belting out curses that would make a trained Auror blush.
"YOU NEVER WROTE!!!! (*poke* *BANG*)"
"YOU NEVER CAME TO VISIT!!!! (*BANG* *poke*)"
"ME 'N UNCLE SEVERUS WERE SO WORIED!!!!! (*poke* *BANG*)
I had decided to drag my least favorite uncle into this. And I think Draco was getting tired of me being on his chest and yelling out his ears and family secrets.
"HECATE PERSEPHONE MALFOY POTTER SNAPE BLACK, GET THE *HELL* OFF ME THIS INSTANT BEFORE I *RRREEAAALLYY* GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Draco yelled angrily. I giggled and rolled off him and sat beside the crushed Draco Malfoy (who was gasping for air).
"Wow..."
I looked up at Ron's shocked and awed expression.
"Can you teach me that? I really want to know how you can shut Malfoy up so quickly."
"Weasley, you don't know what you're getting yourself into..." Malfoy warned. Ron snorted.
"Awww, it doesn't take *too* much to shut my most favorite cousin up." I commented lightly and pinched Draco closest cheek. Suddenly, I knew my fun was up when a glaring shaggy black dog bounded over and stood on my stomach. I winced, but I had the strength enough to say -
"Sirius Black, what did we just talk about? I thought we had the groping and undressing thoughts under control?"
The effect was instant. "Snuffles" leaped off me, Ron and Hermione had their wands trained on me, and Draco pulled me behind him to protect me. I rolled my eyes.
"How do you know about Sirius?" Hermione shrilly asked, her wand glowing a faint blue light.
"Oh for the love of Merlin!" I cried angrily and started too walked away. I didn't get three feet between us before I was tackled by Ron and Snuffles. Snuffles gave me a look that said I was going to explain *everything* to them, whether I liked it or not.
"Fine, you dratted dog." I muttered and dragged the three bewildered teens toward the Headmaster's office. Snuffles trotted happily in front of us. I was tempted to kick him in the rear.
*I* knew he had gotten me into this mess.
And he was going to get me out - fast.
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"Okay, what in Merlin's beard is going on?" Draco asked as soon as they got to the Headmaster's office. The office, fortunately, was empty. I resisted the urge to ring Sirius neck.
"Sirius, change your sorry ass back *right* now!" I growled. The dog got a stupid grin on his face and pranced in a circle before turning back into a man. He had stopped prancing, but the stupid, cocky grin was still there.
"Was I right, or was I right?" Sirius asked. I decided to act.
I punched my godfather/uncle right smack dab in the nose.
My godfather/uncle was out cold before he hit the royal blue carpeted floor.
I was grinning in a satisfactory way but that smile was wiped clean off my face when I saw Ron and Hermione aiming a stunning spell at me. I flipped over their heads at the same time they called out -
"STUPFEY!!!!!"
When the two didn't see me knocked out on the floor, they started to tense up and look around. They would never find me, considered I was sitting comfortably on the ceiling rafters.
Draco was stifling his laughter, for the ass knew where I was. I was thankful though, Draco hadn't said a word yet. I decided it was time Ron and Hermione knew where I was.
"Never lose sight of your enemies," I stated. Their heads snapped up. "It could cost you your life."
"Crazy bitch..." Draco said to himself, but I had heard.
"It takes one crazy bitch to know a crazy bastard, Draco." I smirked and jumped down from my sitting place.
"Who are you?" Ron asked.
"Hecate Persephone Potter Malfoy Snape Black."
"Who are you really?" Hermione pressed.
"I'm hurt you two don't recognize me," I drawled. I raised my hand in the air and I felt fire swirl down my body, melting away the potion's effects and showing me for a split second, then I was back to being a girl.
"Harry..." Hermione breathed.
"Oh god, whoever did this to you, was playing one sick joke..." Ron growled. I smirked.
"What are you going to do to them Ron?" I asked calmly.
"Hex 'em." He replied.
"Well Ron, here's your lucky day! Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore, Snape,
McGonagall, Hagrid, Flitwick, and any other professors you can think of did this to me. So if you want to hex them, go right ahead - because I can't do a damn thing to them because they put a piece of their power in the potion to make it work." I crowed.
"What does Draco have to do with any of this?" Hermione asked.
"Harry, don't tell them! It takes all the fun out of this!" Draco begged.
"Draco here is my cousin - mother's side. Narcissa, Lily, and Petunia. Sirius, Snape and my dad were triplets. So that makes Sirius and Snape my uncles
(unfortunately). No one else knows about this besides the family members, and I'd like to keep it that way please." I smirked as Draco cursed me a thousand times over under his breath.
"I heard that Draco..."
"What *don't* you hear?" He asked under his breath.
"Heard that to..."
"Screw you."
"Get bent."
"Oh, bite me!"
"Where?"
"AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ron and Hermione laughed as Draco was out - insulted. Draco glared at them.
"So, why are you a girl in the first place?" Ron asked. I felt his eyes near the vincity of my skin tight pants that showed off my legs.
"They wanted to bring out my hidden power - not knowing the reactions I might have, mind you - and drugged me. I don't think any of them expected me to switch
genders on them though." I smiled. "So McGonagall took me back to her house and trained me how to be a female. Oh god, the tortures..."
"I don't know how you survived that." Draco commented. I smacked him upside the head.
"I think the funniest thing was when I got back to Hogwarts...oh; I wish I had had a camera when I walked into the Headmaster's office when Snape and Sirius were in there!" I sighed.
"Don't mention that..."
I looked over and saw that Sirius was waking up, and a bruise was forming on his nose. I smiled widely.
Sirius saw the smile.
I smiled more when he grimaced.
"What did you do Harry?" Ron grinned. I smiled sadistically.
"*She* transfigured her clothes into a shear blue dress that barely covered anything and charmed baby blue angel wings to flutter and sparkle on her back. Then, the sneaky brat, said, and I quote - "Who wants a piece of me, big boys?"."
Sirius grumbled and stood up. By then, Ron, Hermione, and Draco were laughing non stop.
"IT WAS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!" Sirius roared. The three kept on laughing and looking between me and Sirius.
"Oh god...that has to be the funniest thing I have ever heard..." Ron wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Harry..." Hermione started.
"Hecate." I said, interrupting her.
"What?"
"Call me Hecate, Hermione. That's the name I'm going by this year." I sighed, and then glared at Sirius.
"Okay." Hermione said uncertainly. "Hecate, what the game plan?"
**************************** *Flash Back*
Dear Draco,
Let's play a game. I'll give you 11 days to figure out my identity. I'm a female, with long black hair and big green eyes. Though, I am now a female because the professors of Hogwarts deemed it so. You know me, but you don't. Confusing? This whole situation of mine confuses me....
Sincerely, H
***********************************
Dear H,
Who are you? I am not one for this foolish game you proposed, but you intrigued me. There are only so many people with your description....you leave me only to wonder at your identity. From what you have given me to go on, you are a male turned female by the Professors of Hogwarts. You are an interesting character, H...
Sincerely, Draco
************************************
Dear Draco,
It's wonderful to know that you want to play my game! Time for hint number two! I'm related to you - your mother had two other siblings, my mother, and my Aunt Petunia. My father was part of a triplet that consisted of Severus Snape, Sirius Black, and my father. Who are my parents? If you can guess my parents, all you have to do is ask if you're right....
Sincerely, A
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Dear A,
I see now. You are signing you name by writing them as you signature - clever. I did not know that Snape was related to Black in any shape or form....or that I was related to them. You have shed some light on the red haired woman and the horsy blonde in some of the photos from my mother's years at Hogwarts. Quite interesting. I do know that I have an Aunt Lily now though. The only Lily I have heard of or know is Lily Potter, and she's dead. You're intentionally making this confusing, aren't you?
Draco
*************************************
Draco,
Yes, you are correct in how I'm revealing my identity. Guess you know that you have more family than you though, huh? Yes, my mother's name was Lily, if you haven't figured it out. That other woman in our Aunt Petunia - and you're right, she is a horsy person! Of course I'm making it confusing! But just remember - I was once a guy....so be prepared for the shock...
R
**************************************
R,
So far, I've gotten HAR. Am I getting close? How many more letters do I have to go? I'm anxious....
Draco
***************************************
Draco,
You're an impatient little man, aren't you? Oh well. You only have two more letters to go. Feel grateful I'm not using my last name too. Here's how I want it to blow over - you'll be shocked about my identity. I know you will. If you still like me afterward, we will continue on with our pen pal writing. Do you want this? I hope so...you're the only family I think I can trust right now....
R
****************************************
Dear R,
I'm almost there. And I have an idea about your identity, and so far, it really doesn't bother me. Just is severely annoying. I have HARR could the last letter, I don't know...be a Y? Mr. Harry Potter, mother's name is Lily. I think that's who you are. And I truly pity your situation, Harry. Girls....yeash, they never think up anything original, do they?
Draco
******************************************
Draco,
What a wonderful player you are! It would have taken most people a long time, but I suppose that you got a big hint out of my description and my mum's name. So, yeah, I'm Harry Potter. So strange, as it is, that this happened to me. It didn't take me long to get used to this body, Draco....and that scares me. It hurts to know that the closest people to me, well, sorta, betrayed me like this. Please call me Hecate from now on, Draco. As it's my name here.
Hecate
***********************************
Hecate,
I always thought that those professors were cooky. I truly do feel sorry for you, cousin. You know, I don't think I'd ever believe that you were my cousin if someone had told me that two years ago. I probably would have spit on them and hexed them into oblivion. So, what are we going to do?
Draco
***********************************
Draco,
Okay, here's the plan. Right before I wrote this letter, I discovered an interesting little...charm. It binds two people together. The spell will only be cast if the two people want it to work, and if they ever want to break the bond, they just have to will it and say the counter curse. Willing to try? The words are Ubei Saculatum Uni Etern
Hecate
************************************
Hecate,
I've said the words, and I assume the feeling of elation running through me is you as you do....something. I can't find words to describe having this bond, Hecate. Thank you.
Draco *********************************************
*While the group is in Dumbledore's Office*
Dumbledore felt a sweatdrop roll down the side of his head as he watched the boy - turned - girl walk with his - er..her - two old/new best friends and her arch nemesis/ newly revealed cousin away from the Great Hall and towards somewhere close to..his office?
'That child is going to drive me insane!' Dumbledore thought to himself as he stood up. Dumbledore cleared his throat. "While Ms. Black was not sorted in front of you students, she had been placed by the school Sorting Hat into."
***********************************
"The Big Game! Are you crazy Potter?!?!?!?!" Draco asked the dark haired, emerald eyes women named Hecate. Hecate smiled charmingly at him.
"Of course I'm not crazy Draco." Hecate smiled. "And my name isn't Potter right now. It's Black. And yes, the Big Game."
"The Big Game?" Ron asked. "What's that?"
"Of course you Gryffindors wouldn't know what the Big Game is, it's a Slytherin thing." Draco said arrogantly.
"Enlighten us, O Wise One." Hermione said sarcastically. Draco glared.
"Hey, don't be nasty Draco. Eve I didn't know until that darn hat sorted me into Slytherin, and then you explained what some of the Slytherin traditions were." Hecate soothed.
"Fine." Draco said calmly. "The Big Game is.."
**************************************
".Slytherin. As most of you heard, she is also a member of the Malfoy family. Slytherins, please make Ms. Black feel welcome. On another note, be aware that the Forbidden Forest *is* forbidden for a reason, and that no one is to be allowed inside it. The third floor corridor is also forbidden until further notice. Back again for another year is Mr. Remus Lupin as our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Now, tuck in." Dumbledore smiled. The students clapped, then began eating. Dumbledore sat again, wondering what Hecate Black was going to pull.
***************************************
The school had gotten used to Hecate Black being there. She was just a normal, cheerful person that was unluckily sorted into the Slytherin house (this was the opinion of the other three houses that didn't include Slytherin). What was looked down upon by Gryffindor and Slytherin was that both she and Draco Malfoy hung out with two Gryffindors, namely Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. They were always whispering and exchanging little sheets of parchment.
It wasn't until three days after the Sorting that it happened.
School owls flew in like normal mails owl. What was suspicious was that they all went to the professors. Al the *male* professors. They glanced at each other, then the red howler. The envelopes opened in unison.
//I woke up this morning// and I was a girl// found a note// it said "so long"// you said this would last all my lives// I hope your face// brakes out in hives//
//I hope you die// a painful death// I hope you choke//on your next breath// you screwed me up// you done me wrong// I hope you die// before to long//
//I hope you have// a heart attack// I hope your nuts// get really slack// I was a man// but now I'm not// I hope you die// I hope you rot//
//I hope you die// a painful death// I hope you choke//on your next breath// you screwed me up// you done me wrong// I hope you die// before to long//
//I don't want// to be your friend// I just want// your life to end// I'm back in town// a real popular gal// I hope you drown// in the Hogwarts canal//
//I hope you die// a painful death// I hope you choke//on your next breath// you screwed me up// you done me wrong// I hope you die// before to long// I hope you die// before I end this song// I really, really hope you die// DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!// *BLEEP* and DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!//
The professors were blushing a cherry red, either from embarrassment or anger, the students couldn't tell. One thought dominated their minds: Hecate Black was *dead* *meat*!!!!
Hecate sneezed at the Slytherin table. She look up at the Head table, smiled, and then went back to her mashed potatoes. The professors couldn't really pin it on her, because a) they really had no proof except for what was in the song, and that could have happened to anybody and b) all the students were hysterically laughing.
Life was good.
Before your read this and go back to the browser and run away as far as you can from it as possible, you should probably know why. This story contains the trials of my strange and unusual life as Hecate Persephone Black/Malfoy/Potter/Snape. Actually, my name used to be Harry Potter, but that is not important.
There are probably many more sad, unhappy, and bitter stories you can read, but I assure you, this is probably not going to be one. I realize there might be some slightly sad, or some slightly bitter scenes in my story, but it adds to my happy ending. Within the pages of this fanfic, there are rampaging youkai; young women in short sailor like outfits that run around destroying monsters and say corny speeches; playboy assassins and some with supernatural powers; and hard cold Sayain-jin who like to beat the crap out of gravity machines. Clearly, some people have a strange sense of doing things.
I have sworn to my best friends to write down my life story, and to write it down as best I can, so I should know that this fanfic is best left alone, laying on the browser, unopened, like you undoubtedly found it.
With all due respect,
Hecate Persephone Black/Malfoy/Potter/Snae
Harry Potter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I normally was a firm believer that a man stayed a man, but it seems I am sorely wrong. I have decided that my new *curse* - urgh, how I hate the thought - wears off, my beloved godfather, Headmaster, and professors will be on a one way trip to hell - via Harry Potter Express.
I guess I should explain a few things, shouldn't I? My name is Harry James Potter. I'm 15 years old and I'm going into my fifth year at Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My problem? My godfather (And most likely Remus Lupin), my professors, and headmaster have deemed it necessary that I have a new form of protection. So...
...they turned my into a god damned female.
They are *sooooo* dead.
The body they gave me really isn't *that* bad. It isn't something to sniff at either. I mean, (and I'm telling you this after I actually looked in a mirror) I have wavy black hair that goes down to my knees. Big, deep, emerald green eyes. Curvy hips, cute face, long legs, big bust - *that* took some getting used to! - a little shorten than I used to be (about 5'4, I think). I was hot! - at least by my standards I mean.
Here's how my first my first week of "training" went....
***********************************************************************
I remember waking up in a blue, green, yellow, and red room. The colors were pastel of course, so that went the red was (*grimace*) pink. I HATE PINK!!!!!
My first thought was -
'What the hell is on my chest?'
And what I discovered, several seconds later, was that it was not what was on my chest - it was what was hanging from it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As I think back on it now, I feel that I would have done a banshee proud, as loud as that scream was anyway and how long and far it echoed.
***********************************************************************
I was hiding in a dark corner of the Great Hall (after I found out I was in Hogwarts - I won't get into that), listening to the professor's conversation. Did I mention I was stuck in a fluffy *pink* bathrobe? Back to the conversation.
"Albus, that potion was supposed to make his greatest powers come out! Not transfigure him into a female!" Yelled Prof. Severus Snape.
"I know that Severus...but maybe Harry turning into a female will help him control the powers better." Albus Dumbledore, my headmaster suggested. Minerva McGonagall, my Transfiguration professor, rolled her eyes.
"Albus, he's a boy. Boys do NOT turn into girls! It's a fact of nature! Even *for* magic!" She said angrily.
"Minerva, my dear, we need to figure out a way to help Harry get through the school year. This potion lasts a long time, 10 months I believe, and Harry needs to go to Hogwarts for his classes." Albus smiled kindly at McGonagall.
"Why doesn't one of the female professors teach him how to be a girl while the males teach him how to use his powers?" Snape asked. I felt it was time I revealed myself.
As quietly as I could, and without being seen, I leaned up against the Great Hall doorway (still in the damned fuzzy pink bathrobe) and started my little practiced speech.
"You did know, didn't you, "I drawled in my now female, melodiotic voice, "that you are now on my top ten list of who I want dead?"
The professors of Hogwarts - all 20 of them - turned slowly to look at me (did I mention I was still in the PINK bathrobe?), and they looked afraid, very afraid....
Prof. Severus Snape summed up the one thing that all the professors had on their minds -
"Oh shit...."
From that day on (the day I scared the professors silly), I was sent to Minerva
McGonagall's house for her etiquette class. My version? The Torture Class From Hell.
There, I was trained to bat my eyes flirtatiously, swing my hips seductively, make
people give in to my innocent look, and flirt shamelessly with men (*gross!* *gross!* gross!*).
My favorite memory was when we first started....
Ah, I wish I could relive that moment....
***********************************************************************
"No! No! No!" McGonagall screamed in frustration "Potter, you bat your eyes like this."
And Minerva McGonagall did just that. She batted her eyelashes just so to give off a feeling that she was just helpless old lady. How did she do that?
"You make it look so easy though..." I whined pitifully. McGonagall rolled her eyes at my antics. She knew I was faking it. Damn!
"You should stop that right now, Potter, it won't get you anywhere." She said as she started to rifle through the clothes rack beside us. She pulled out an extremely short, black leather dress that had off the shoulder, two inch sleeves.
"Put that on, Potter." McGonagall disappeared from the bedroom I was staying. I
slowly tugged on the dress and as I discovered, the dress was soft and silky, but was still extremely tight - this, unfortunately lifted my bust (still getting used to that!) up
high enough that people from 30 feet away could tell I had a *very* good sized rack on me.
I felt a soft air current on my upper thigh. I looked down. Oh yeah, I was right! This dress was WAY to short! The dress (if you could call it a dress) only came down to my *upper* thigh. To short in my book. Wonder what Sirius will do when he sees me in this - this monstrosity.
"Potter, you can come out from behind that now."
"Abso - freaking - lutley not!" I muttered back as I unconsciously tugged the dress's hem down lower.
"You either come out or I'll come back there. You don't want that do you?"
The one thing I learned was that Minerva McGonagall drove a hard bargain. I shook my head ruefully and walked solemnly out from behind the dressing curtain. I felt my face go red since I didn't hear her say anything.
"You look fantastic Potter." McGonagall smiled. I felt a wave of relief wash over me.
"Now put on these heels." McGonagall commanded. I looked up, knowing that my
expression probably conveyed horror. I stared in horrified shock at the weird looking shoes.
"I have absolutely *no* idea how to put those on." I stated bluntly. McGonagall
rolled her eyes. (She seems to be doing that a lot lately.)
"I'll do it." McGonagall smirked and grabbed my right leg. She fitted the "shoe" on and then started to wrap it up my leg till it ended just below my knee. She did the same thing for the other leg. The straps she had wrapped around my leg were about a 1/2 an inch wide and were really thin. The straps were in a cross pattern.
"Cool." I said and admired the shoes.
"Walk." McGonagall commanded. I immediately stood up, but I hadn't realized that the heels were extremely small and extremely high. I was only on my feet for 5
seconds before I fell flat on my face.
That was the start of the many times I would kiss the carpet on this horrible day....
I had had such a fun time (yeah right!) at McGonagall's house. Okay, I guess not - but I have now learned the finer points of being a girl. Now all I had to do was master my so called "hidden power". The day I walked into the Great Hall of Hogwarts like I owned the place. The day I embarrassed the hell out of Prof. Severus Snape.
I will remember that day forever....
***********************************************************************
"Okay Potter, time to go." McGonagall sighed as I literally bounced around the front hall of the McGonagall house.
"POTTER!" McGonagall snapped as I came dangerously close to knocking over a favorite vase.
"Yes?"
"Stay still." McGonagall said and grabbed my arm. I felt a floating sensation and then I was standing in Hogsmeade.
"YES!!!" I yelled and dashed off towards Hogwarts.
"POTTER!!!!!"
"BY PROF. MCGONGAL!! SEE YA AT HOGWARTS!!!!" I yelled back.
***********************************************************************
As soon as I had reached the cursed building of magical teaching, I knew something was different. Well, for starters - the teachers were calling me Hecate or
Ms. Black. I also caught a few of the male professors staring at my heavily exposed tan legs. I had pointedly ignored them.
I finally found out that Prof's Dumbledore and Snape (along with Sirius) were in the Headmaster's office. I grinned at that little tidbit of information. I was going to have FUN!!!
I ran as quickly as I could towards the Headmaster's office. I stopped just outside the stone gargoyle to change my clothes - with a wand, mind you! That day, I had been wearing a white cotton summer dress that brushed my thighs and was a halter style top. Black pumps were on my feet. My long hair was pulled back into a stern looking plait.
And with a flick of my wand, I was wearing a shear, baby blue dress (something extremely see through!), white platform sandals with skinny straps criss- crossing my across my feet, makeup to highlight my now feminine features, and to top it off - I charmed a pair of sky blue angel wings to flutter occasionally from my shoulder blades. Silvery blue nail polish glittered from my two inch razor sharp nails. A golden chain that hung in an area near my stomach held a star shaped stone with two small red crystals coming from that. My earrings were the same as my necklace charm.
Oh yeah, if this didn't make those two idiots speechless, I don't know what will.
I teleported (a new trick I picked up while practicing my new training) inside the small corridor and floated (using the wings) till I reached the door to the office. I heard them talking about how they were going to train me - so I decided to interrupt (they weren't getting anywhere anyway!)
I telepathically blew the door open with a resounding crash and then - while they turned their heads - created a small storm of golden stars, hearts, and glitter. When that settled down, I was leaning against the doorway with a sexy smile gracing my full lips while my eyes sparkled entrancingly at them. The shear, baby blue dress did nothing to cover my figure, and only shade what was underneath. (Did I ever mention there was a slit up to the hip on the right side of the dress?) I sexily put my leg at an angle where it was uncovered by the long slit. I felt my wings flutter and a small cloud of silver dust flew delicately in front of me.
Sirius' mouth was somewhere near the vincity of the royal blue carpet and Snape was staring unabashed at me somewhere below my face and neck. Then I uttered the few words that would change their perspectives on*exactly* how I was going to get through the year -
"Want a piece of me big boys?"
Sirius fell out of his chair while Snape choked on the air he was breathing. Dumbledore sat there with a massive smile on his wrinkled face as his blue eyes twinkled in amusement. I decided that I had teased them enough.
I burst out laughing and the disguise disappeared. I was now dressed in a short, mint green summer dress with my "angel makeup" on. Pair of soft white pumps was on my feet. I quickly conjured up a chair and sat down.
"Harry?" Sirius gasped. I was still laughing, but I managed to nod yes. Sirius looked like he was going to faint.
"Oh my god..." Snape choked and finally gained his composure. I giggled girlishly.
"Dumbledore, are you sure those two can act like civilized adults and not grope me and/or undress me with their mind?" I asked suspiciously. If Dumbledore hadn't been laughing earlier, he was now!
"Grope you?' Sirius asked wonderingly. "I'm more worried about some male Hogwarts' student in an invisibility cloak groping you!"
"Being groped by an invisible man, Sirius? Sounds kind of kinky don't ya think?" I asked with a saucy wink. Sirius blushed crimson. I think he forgot I'm actually male inside.
"What has McGonagall been teaching you?!?!?!" Sirius yelled pitifully.
"Been teaching me what, Sirius?" I asked seriously. (A.N. No pun intended!)
"Never mind, Harry, never mind." Sirius groaned.
"No, what do you think I've been teaching him, Sirius Black? Hmmm?"
McGonagall has made the scene!
"Nothing appropriate, that's for sure!" Sirius grumbled. "But this is scandalous!!! A male that understands females and a woman that understands men!" Sirius continued. "You've corrupted the last of the Potter line! Change him back!!!!!" Sirius threw himself and wrapped his arms tightly around McGonagall's legs and started to beg.
"No Sirius."
"Please?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I said so."
"Who cares what you want! Change him back!!!!" Sirius wailed.
"NO!"
"Pretty please?"
"NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Prof. Dumbledore," I started. "I have a plan."
*************************************************
I decided to wear a pair of flared black leather pants that clung shamelessly to my new and improved figure. I emerald green halter top (skin tight as well) was a bonus. I wore slip on platform shoes and large hoop earrings.
Draco Malfoy, be afraid - be VERY afraid...because your cousin is going to embarrass the hell out of you....
***********************************************************************
I watched and waited for Draco Malfoy to come through the Great Hall door. Wouldn't it so happen that he came through the door arguing face to face with Ron (my best friend) Weasley. I suddenly realized all the *fun* I was going to have embarrassing Draco in front of Ron and Hermione.
Today, Hecate (Harry) Black was going to debut her (his) wonderful acting skills.
I made my aura flare up (I unknowing brought all the Great Hall's attention to me - except for Ron and Draco that is!) and fake crocodile tears fell down my face. I (literally) flew all the way across the Great Hall and intersected a crash course with Draco. With a cry of -
"DRACO I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!"
-and an -
"OH SHIT!!!!!"
- Draco Orion Malfoy and Hecate (Harry) Persephone Black flew threw the open Great Hall doors.
***********************************************************************
I knew the Great Hall was gaping at what had happened. I hadn't even told Dumbledore about my plan - or my relation to Draco Malfoy. Oh well. I am *sooooo*glad I wrote Draco about my (*grimace*) predicament.
So, there I sat with the whole student body watching us, on Draco Malfoy's chest exchanging for boxing his ears, poking his ribs, banging his head on the floor, and belting out curses that would make a trained Auror blush.
"YOU NEVER WROTE!!!! (*poke* *BANG*)"
"YOU NEVER CAME TO VISIT!!!! (*BANG* *poke*)"
"ME 'N UNCLE SEVERUS WERE SO WORIED!!!!! (*poke* *BANG*)
I had decided to drag my least favorite uncle into this. And I think Draco was getting tired of me being on his chest and yelling out his ears and family secrets.
"HECATE PERSEPHONE MALFOY POTTER SNAPE BLACK, GET THE *HELL* OFF ME THIS INSTANT BEFORE I *RRREEAAALLYY* GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Draco yelled angrily. I giggled and rolled off him and sat beside the crushed Draco Malfoy (who was gasping for air).
"Wow..."
I looked up at Ron's shocked and awed expression.
"Can you teach me that? I really want to know how you can shut Malfoy up so quickly."
"Weasley, you don't know what you're getting yourself into..." Malfoy warned. Ron snorted.
"Awww, it doesn't take *too* much to shut my most favorite cousin up." I commented lightly and pinched Draco closest cheek. Suddenly, I knew my fun was up when a glaring shaggy black dog bounded over and stood on my stomach. I winced, but I had the strength enough to say -
"Sirius Black, what did we just talk about? I thought we had the groping and undressing thoughts under control?"
The effect was instant. "Snuffles" leaped off me, Ron and Hermione had their wands trained on me, and Draco pulled me behind him to protect me. I rolled my eyes.
"How do you know about Sirius?" Hermione shrilly asked, her wand glowing a faint blue light.
"Oh for the love of Merlin!" I cried angrily and started too walked away. I didn't get three feet between us before I was tackled by Ron and Snuffles. Snuffles gave me a look that said I was going to explain *everything* to them, whether I liked it or not.
"Fine, you dratted dog." I muttered and dragged the three bewildered teens toward the Headmaster's office. Snuffles trotted happily in front of us. I was tempted to kick him in the rear.
*I* knew he had gotten me into this mess.
And he was going to get me out - fast.
***********************************************************************
"Okay, what in Merlin's beard is going on?" Draco asked as soon as they got to the Headmaster's office. The office, fortunately, was empty. I resisted the urge to ring Sirius neck.
"Sirius, change your sorry ass back *right* now!" I growled. The dog got a stupid grin on his face and pranced in a circle before turning back into a man. He had stopped prancing, but the stupid, cocky grin was still there.
"Was I right, or was I right?" Sirius asked. I decided to act.
I punched my godfather/uncle right smack dab in the nose.
My godfather/uncle was out cold before he hit the royal blue carpeted floor.
I was grinning in a satisfactory way but that smile was wiped clean off my face when I saw Ron and Hermione aiming a stunning spell at me. I flipped over their heads at the same time they called out -
"STUPFEY!!!!!"
When the two didn't see me knocked out on the floor, they started to tense up and look around. They would never find me, considered I was sitting comfortably on the ceiling rafters.
Draco was stifling his laughter, for the ass knew where I was. I was thankful though, Draco hadn't said a word yet. I decided it was time Ron and Hermione knew where I was.
"Never lose sight of your enemies," I stated. Their heads snapped up. "It could cost you your life."
"Crazy bitch..." Draco said to himself, but I had heard.
"It takes one crazy bitch to know a crazy bastard, Draco." I smirked and jumped down from my sitting place.
"Who are you?" Ron asked.
"Hecate Persephone Potter Malfoy Snape Black."
"Who are you really?" Hermione pressed.
"I'm hurt you two don't recognize me," I drawled. I raised my hand in the air and I felt fire swirl down my body, melting away the potion's effects and showing me for a split second, then I was back to being a girl.
"Harry..." Hermione breathed.
"Oh god, whoever did this to you, was playing one sick joke..." Ron growled. I smirked.
"What are you going to do to them Ron?" I asked calmly.
"Hex 'em." He replied.
"Well Ron, here's your lucky day! Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore, Snape,
McGonagall, Hagrid, Flitwick, and any other professors you can think of did this to me. So if you want to hex them, go right ahead - because I can't do a damn thing to them because they put a piece of their power in the potion to make it work." I crowed.
"What does Draco have to do with any of this?" Hermione asked.
"Harry, don't tell them! It takes all the fun out of this!" Draco begged.
"Draco here is my cousin - mother's side. Narcissa, Lily, and Petunia. Sirius, Snape and my dad were triplets. So that makes Sirius and Snape my uncles
(unfortunately). No one else knows about this besides the family members, and I'd like to keep it that way please." I smirked as Draco cursed me a thousand times over under his breath.
"I heard that Draco..."
"What *don't* you hear?" He asked under his breath.
"Heard that to..."
"Screw you."
"Get bent."
"Oh, bite me!"
"Where?"
"AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ron and Hermione laughed as Draco was out - insulted. Draco glared at them.
"So, why are you a girl in the first place?" Ron asked. I felt his eyes near the vincity of my skin tight pants that showed off my legs.
"They wanted to bring out my hidden power - not knowing the reactions I might have, mind you - and drugged me. I don't think any of them expected me to switch
genders on them though." I smiled. "So McGonagall took me back to her house and trained me how to be a female. Oh god, the tortures..."
"I don't know how you survived that." Draco commented. I smacked him upside the head.
"I think the funniest thing was when I got back to Hogwarts...oh; I wish I had had a camera when I walked into the Headmaster's office when Snape and Sirius were in there!" I sighed.
"Don't mention that..."
I looked over and saw that Sirius was waking up, and a bruise was forming on his nose. I smiled widely.
Sirius saw the smile.
I smiled more when he grimaced.
"What did you do Harry?" Ron grinned. I smiled sadistically.
"*She* transfigured her clothes into a shear blue dress that barely covered anything and charmed baby blue angel wings to flutter and sparkle on her back. Then, the sneaky brat, said, and I quote - "Who wants a piece of me, big boys?"."
Sirius grumbled and stood up. By then, Ron, Hermione, and Draco were laughing non stop.
"IT WAS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!" Sirius roared. The three kept on laughing and looking between me and Sirius.
"Oh god...that has to be the funniest thing I have ever heard..." Ron wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Harry..." Hermione started.
"Hecate." I said, interrupting her.
"What?"
"Call me Hecate, Hermione. That's the name I'm going by this year." I sighed, and then glared at Sirius.
"Okay." Hermione said uncertainly. "Hecate, what the game plan?"
**************************** *Flash Back*
Dear Draco,
Let's play a game. I'll give you 11 days to figure out my identity. I'm a female, with long black hair and big green eyes. Though, I am now a female because the professors of Hogwarts deemed it so. You know me, but you don't. Confusing? This whole situation of mine confuses me....
Sincerely, H
***********************************
Dear H,
Who are you? I am not one for this foolish game you proposed, but you intrigued me. There are only so many people with your description....you leave me only to wonder at your identity. From what you have given me to go on, you are a male turned female by the Professors of Hogwarts. You are an interesting character, H...
Sincerely, Draco
************************************
Dear Draco,
It's wonderful to know that you want to play my game! Time for hint number two! I'm related to you - your mother had two other siblings, my mother, and my Aunt Petunia. My father was part of a triplet that consisted of Severus Snape, Sirius Black, and my father. Who are my parents? If you can guess my parents, all you have to do is ask if you're right....
Sincerely, A
************************************
Dear A,
I see now. You are signing you name by writing them as you signature - clever. I did not know that Snape was related to Black in any shape or form....or that I was related to them. You have shed some light on the red haired woman and the horsy blonde in some of the photos from my mother's years at Hogwarts. Quite interesting. I do know that I have an Aunt Lily now though. The only Lily I have heard of or know is Lily Potter, and she's dead. You're intentionally making this confusing, aren't you?
Draco
*************************************
Draco,
Yes, you are correct in how I'm revealing my identity. Guess you know that you have more family than you though, huh? Yes, my mother's name was Lily, if you haven't figured it out. That other woman in our Aunt Petunia - and you're right, she is a horsy person! Of course I'm making it confusing! But just remember - I was once a guy....so be prepared for the shock...
R
**************************************
R,
So far, I've gotten HAR. Am I getting close? How many more letters do I have to go? I'm anxious....
Draco
***************************************
Draco,
You're an impatient little man, aren't you? Oh well. You only have two more letters to go. Feel grateful I'm not using my last name too. Here's how I want it to blow over - you'll be shocked about my identity. I know you will. If you still like me afterward, we will continue on with our pen pal writing. Do you want this? I hope so...you're the only family I think I can trust right now....
R
****************************************
Dear R,
I'm almost there. And I have an idea about your identity, and so far, it really doesn't bother me. Just is severely annoying. I have HARR could the last letter, I don't know...be a Y? Mr. Harry Potter, mother's name is Lily. I think that's who you are. And I truly pity your situation, Harry. Girls....yeash, they never think up anything original, do they?
Draco
******************************************
Draco,
What a wonderful player you are! It would have taken most people a long time, but I suppose that you got a big hint out of my description and my mum's name. So, yeah, I'm Harry Potter. So strange, as it is, that this happened to me. It didn't take me long to get used to this body, Draco....and that scares me. It hurts to know that the closest people to me, well, sorta, betrayed me like this. Please call me Hecate from now on, Draco. As it's my name here.
Hecate
***********************************
Hecate,
I always thought that those professors were cooky. I truly do feel sorry for you, cousin. You know, I don't think I'd ever believe that you were my cousin if someone had told me that two years ago. I probably would have spit on them and hexed them into oblivion. So, what are we going to do?
Draco
***********************************
Draco,
Okay, here's the plan. Right before I wrote this letter, I discovered an interesting little...charm. It binds two people together. The spell will only be cast if the two people want it to work, and if they ever want to break the bond, they just have to will it and say the counter curse. Willing to try? The words are Ubei Saculatum Uni Etern
Hecate
************************************
Hecate,
I've said the words, and I assume the feeling of elation running through me is you as you do....something. I can't find words to describe having this bond, Hecate. Thank you.
Draco *********************************************
*While the group is in Dumbledore's Office*
Dumbledore felt a sweatdrop roll down the side of his head as he watched the boy - turned - girl walk with his - er..her - two old/new best friends and her arch nemesis/ newly revealed cousin away from the Great Hall and towards somewhere close to..his office?
'That child is going to drive me insane!' Dumbledore thought to himself as he stood up. Dumbledore cleared his throat. "While Ms. Black was not sorted in front of you students, she had been placed by the school Sorting Hat into."
***********************************
"The Big Game! Are you crazy Potter?!?!?!?!" Draco asked the dark haired, emerald eyes women named Hecate. Hecate smiled charmingly at him.
"Of course I'm not crazy Draco." Hecate smiled. "And my name isn't Potter right now. It's Black. And yes, the Big Game."
"The Big Game?" Ron asked. "What's that?"
"Of course you Gryffindors wouldn't know what the Big Game is, it's a Slytherin thing." Draco said arrogantly.
"Enlighten us, O Wise One." Hermione said sarcastically. Draco glared.
"Hey, don't be nasty Draco. Eve I didn't know until that darn hat sorted me into Slytherin, and then you explained what some of the Slytherin traditions were." Hecate soothed.
"Fine." Draco said calmly. "The Big Game is.."
**************************************
".Slytherin. As most of you heard, she is also a member of the Malfoy family. Slytherins, please make Ms. Black feel welcome. On another note, be aware that the Forbidden Forest *is* forbidden for a reason, and that no one is to be allowed inside it. The third floor corridor is also forbidden until further notice. Back again for another year is Mr. Remus Lupin as our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Now, tuck in." Dumbledore smiled. The students clapped, then began eating. Dumbledore sat again, wondering what Hecate Black was going to pull.
***************************************
The school had gotten used to Hecate Black being there. She was just a normal, cheerful person that was unluckily sorted into the Slytherin house (this was the opinion of the other three houses that didn't include Slytherin). What was looked down upon by Gryffindor and Slytherin was that both she and Draco Malfoy hung out with two Gryffindors, namely Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. They were always whispering and exchanging little sheets of parchment.
It wasn't until three days after the Sorting that it happened.
School owls flew in like normal mails owl. What was suspicious was that they all went to the professors. Al the *male* professors. They glanced at each other, then the red howler. The envelopes opened in unison.
//I woke up this morning// and I was a girl// found a note// it said "so long"// you said this would last all my lives// I hope your face// brakes out in hives//
//I hope you die// a painful death// I hope you choke//on your next breath// you screwed me up// you done me wrong// I hope you die// before to long//
//I hope you have// a heart attack// I hope your nuts// get really slack// I was a man// but now I'm not// I hope you die// I hope you rot//
//I hope you die// a painful death// I hope you choke//on your next breath// you screwed me up// you done me wrong// I hope you die// before to long//
//I don't want// to be your friend// I just want// your life to end// I'm back in town// a real popular gal// I hope you drown// in the Hogwarts canal//
//I hope you die// a painful death// I hope you choke//on your next breath// you screwed me up// you done me wrong// I hope you die// before to long// I hope you die// before I end this song// I really, really hope you die// DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!// *BLEEP* and DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!//
The professors were blushing a cherry red, either from embarrassment or anger, the students couldn't tell. One thought dominated their minds: Hecate Black was *dead* *meat*!!!!
Hecate sneezed at the Slytherin table. She look up at the Head table, smiled, and then went back to her mashed potatoes. The professors couldn't really pin it on her, because a) they really had no proof except for what was in the song, and that could have happened to anybody and b) all the students were hysterically laughing.
Life was good.