Nightmare to Dream
by
Tha1n0nlYVoyGirl
*10/6/2002*
~
B'Elanna scared herself looking up into her own hollow-eyed appearance staring back at her through the mirror.
Sighing she splashed more cold water in her pale face.
She'd had another nightmare about her mother, hr terrible schooling and her time at Kessik 4.
B'Elanna knew she would stand the mocking if it occurred now, she was so much stringer in herself than she'd been as a child.
In the dream her new-found strength couldn't help her, in the dream she was a child again, unable to defend herself from the aching comments.
Her own mother would curse her, telling her to act more like a true Klingon. B'Elanna would curse back, telling her mother to mind her own business.
Through the eyes of the other children she was nothing.
Through her own eyes she was worse than nothing. She was no one.
Nobody would ever want to make friends with no one.
Nobody would ever love someone who was no one.
All the old grief came back again and she started crying, she couldn't remember where she was, couldn't see anything through the tears.
Leaning over the washbasin she cried deep, heart-breaking sobs.
"B'Elanna?" A familiar voice behind her asked, urging her to return to the present time. "What are you thinking about?"
Shattered, she looked up and turned around. Suddenly she remembered where she was, who she was.
At the starship Voyager. She had friends, a good job and a wonderful boyfriend.
"Nothing," B'Elanna finally answered.
Tom looked at her wet cheeks, but didn't force her to give another reply.
Instead, he put his arm around her shoulders and led her out of the bathroom, back to the warm bed.
A few minutes later, when B'Elanna fell asleep in Tom's arms, every thought about what had been was like gone with the wind.
Unpleasant nightmares wouldn't trouble her anymore that night, and if they ever should appear again she knew that her friends would stand up for her and protect her.
Like she hadn't had any friends as a little girl, the friends she had as an adult would stay with her forever.
by
Tha1n0nlYVoyGirl
*10/6/2002*
~
B'Elanna scared herself looking up into her own hollow-eyed appearance staring back at her through the mirror.
Sighing she splashed more cold water in her pale face.
She'd had another nightmare about her mother, hr terrible schooling and her time at Kessik 4.
B'Elanna knew she would stand the mocking if it occurred now, she was so much stringer in herself than she'd been as a child.
In the dream her new-found strength couldn't help her, in the dream she was a child again, unable to defend herself from the aching comments.
Her own mother would curse her, telling her to act more like a true Klingon. B'Elanna would curse back, telling her mother to mind her own business.
Through the eyes of the other children she was nothing.
Through her own eyes she was worse than nothing. She was no one.
Nobody would ever want to make friends with no one.
Nobody would ever love someone who was no one.
All the old grief came back again and she started crying, she couldn't remember where she was, couldn't see anything through the tears.
Leaning over the washbasin she cried deep, heart-breaking sobs.
"B'Elanna?" A familiar voice behind her asked, urging her to return to the present time. "What are you thinking about?"
Shattered, she looked up and turned around. Suddenly she remembered where she was, who she was.
At the starship Voyager. She had friends, a good job and a wonderful boyfriend.
"Nothing," B'Elanna finally answered.
Tom looked at her wet cheeks, but didn't force her to give another reply.
Instead, he put his arm around her shoulders and led her out of the bathroom, back to the warm bed.
A few minutes later, when B'Elanna fell asleep in Tom's arms, every thought about what had been was like gone with the wind.
Unpleasant nightmares wouldn't trouble her anymore that night, and if they ever should appear again she knew that her friends would stand up for her and protect her.
Like she hadn't had any friends as a little girl, the friends she had as an adult would stay with her forever.