Title: If You Never Say It
Author: samuraiheart
Email: kokoro_no_samurai@yahoo.com
Pairing: Touya x Yukito
Category: Romance, Angst
Warning: Shounen-ai, m/m
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me.
It had been nearly a month since Touya had given his magic up so that Yukito and Yue could continue to exist, but Touya still couldn't quite get used to the weariness he felt sometimes. It always seemed to sneak up on him at the most inopportune moments and no amount of sleep or relaxation could drive it away when it decided to take its toll.
Today was not turning out to be a very good day and Touya was not happy. He had hoped that he might finally be able to tell Yukito how much he loved him today. He had hoped that he might finally be able to bring himself to say the words that he had been keeping back for so long. However, it seemed that fate had other plans. Sleep called out to him like the soft whisper of the breeze across the trees.
Touya glanced at the clock once more as his teacher droned on about binomial equations and derivatives. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes open and he was having trouble concentrating on his notes. He looked down at his spiral notebook and grimaced at the equations that he had written down. They hardly made any sense and faded into unintelligible lines near the bottom of the page. He sighed softly and shook his head. He would have to get the notes from Yukito later on.
Touya rested his head on his hands and stared up at the blackboard trying to feign interest in the problem. His mind drifted to thoughts of Yukito as it often did. His eyes closed and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
Touya started at the gentle touch of a hand on his shoulder and looked up blearily at the young man standing beside him. Yukito looked down at him with a gentle smile etched with concern. "To-ya, class is over." There was a hint of amusement in his eyes that danced behind his gaze and made Touya smile as he stretched his arms above him and glanced around at the empty classroom. He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment at the thought of everyone else filing out of the room at the end of the lecture and Yukito staying behind to wake him up even after the teacher had left.
"Thanks, Yuki." Touya said softly as he gathered his things and stuffed them into his backpack.
"Did you really think I would leave you here, To-ya?"
Touya stared back at his friend not quite sure what to say until Yukito's expression broke into a wide grin.
The two friends walked out of the building and headed towards home. Touya concentrated on each step afraid that if he let his mind wander again he might fall asleep once more. His grip on consciousness was delicate as it was and he didn't want to put himself or Yukito in any danger or inconvenience by allowing himself to succumb to his weariness.
Touya kept his eyes open by sheer force of will. Yukito glanced at him with concern every now and then but a steady silence had fallen over the pair and Yukito hated to break it.
"It's such a lovely day..." Yukito said nervously.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Do you, ummm... want to stop in the park?"
Touya shot him a questioning look.
"We could go over the notes from Calculus." Yukito smiled sheepishly.
Touya sighed and finally gave in. "Okay."
They found an empty bench and brought out their textbooks to begin studying.
Touya wasn't sure if it was the cool autumn breeze wafting across his face and blowing autumn leaves all around them or the warmth of Yukito's shoulder so close to his, but he was finding it difficult to concentrate as Yukito went over the last few math problems from class. Somewhere between the equations he felt his head fall onto Yukito's shoulder and he drifted off into a dream world swimming with numbers and the sound of Yukito's voice.
Yukito tensed slightly at the feel of Touya's head on his shoulder, but he gradually relaxed as he listened to the sound of Touya's slow and even breathing. Yukito stared down at the other young man longingly examining his features with a thoroughness that he couldn't afford to show when the other was awake to notice such things. He brought one hand up to brush the bangs away from Touya's forehead, but stopped just inches away from his face and held his hand hesitantly there for a few seconds before letting it drop back into his lap. He couldn't bring himself to do it even when Touya was asleep.
Yukito let out a soft sigh that blew his own feathery bangs briefly away from his face and returned his attention to the book before him. At least he could get some studying done while Touya slept.
Yukito knew that Touya didn't want him to feel guilty about the power transfer, but sometimes he couldn't ignore the gnawing sense of anxiety he felt at the sight of dark circles under his friend's eyes or on days like this when Touya just couldn't seem to stay awake no matter how hard he tried. Days like these were far less frequent now than they had been at first, but they bothered Yukito nonetheless and he still couldn't help but wonder if things would have been better if Touya had just allowed him to disappear.
Sakura had once told him that she was sure Touya loved him just as much as he did, but neither of them had ever had the courage to say the words and Yukito was becoming increasingly uncertain that the love he saw in Touya's eyes every now and then was the same kind of romantic love he felt for the dark-haired young man. He knew that he should tell Touya how he felt, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He was so afraid of shattering the friendship that he cherished so much, but until he said the words, he would never know for sure one way or the other.
The bright light of the afternoon sun faded into a glowing orange and pink as the sun sank closer and closer to the horizon. It was nearly time for dinner and they both needed to get home before the cool breezes of the moment turned into the icy chill of evening.
Yukito bent closer to his friend and shook him slightly trying to wake him for the second time that day. "To-ya, come on, To-ya, wake up."
And for the second time that day, Touya opened his eyes reluctantly to find his friend staring back at him with an expression somewhere between concern and amusement. Touya lifted his head off of Yukito's shoulder and found himself trying to hide the blush that graced his cheeks as he thought of the close contact they had shared while he was sleeping. He frowned at the sight of the sun already half way beneath the horizon and a few faint stars twinkling across the darker part of the sky.
The two young men made their way back to Touya's house slowly. Touya stumbled once or twice, but waved off any attempt by Yukito to help him. He tried to assure his friend with a gentle smile, but Yukito's gaze still held a hint of worry as they stopped at the walkway in front of the Kinomoto residence.
"Uh, Yuki, would you like to stay for dinner?" Touya asked hesitantly. He knew how much Yukito enjoyed spending time with his family and he felt guilty for all of the trouble he had caused Yukito already that day.
"I don't know, To-ya. You should get some rest." Yukito's eyes shimmered with concern in the moonlight.
Touya frowned at that, but couldn't find the strength to argue with the sentiment. He was tired and Yukito was right no matter how much Touya wished to deny it. He was disappointed, but he supposed his grand revelation would have to wait for a day when he could at least form a coherent thought without fighting against the nagging need to close his eyes for just a few moments.
Touya opened the door to an empty house. His father was working late again and Sakura was spending the night at Tomoyo's house this evening.
Once inside, Touya trudged up the stairs and slowly made his way to his room. He flopped down on the bed gracelessly and let his mind wander to the expression on Yukito's face just before they had said goodbye to one another. He didn't look sad exactly, but he didn't seem happy either. Touya frowned at that. He wanted more than anything to make Yukito happy. He wanted to see his friend's eyes light up and see a genuine smile grace his lips. He wished he could be sure that his confession of love would evoke such a reaction, but he really had no idea what to expect. Happiness would be a glorious reward, but there was also so much potential for rejection. Yukito might look at him in disgust and run away. He might laugh at Touya's words and brush them aside without a second thought. Touya could lose so much with just one simple sentence. It was a risk he was not yet willing to take. He hoped that one day he would find the courage to let Yukito know his true feelings, but for now they would both have to wait.
TBC
Author's Notes: Hello! Thanks for reading! I'm still not really sure if I like this, but I decided to go ahead and post it anyway. I just finished watching the end of Card Captor Sakura again and I wanted to write something romantic and fluffy about Touya and Yukito. Unfortunately, this didn't turn out all that fluffy. It's not really supposed to be angsty either, it's just unresolved. I'll try to fix that in the next chapter ^_^ I should get that out by the end of the weekend. If not, it will have to wait until after exams (two weeks). Reviews are very much appreciated!
Author: samuraiheart
Email: kokoro_no_samurai@yahoo.com
Pairing: Touya x Yukito
Category: Romance, Angst
Warning: Shounen-ai, m/m
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me.
It had been nearly a month since Touya had given his magic up so that Yukito and Yue could continue to exist, but Touya still couldn't quite get used to the weariness he felt sometimes. It always seemed to sneak up on him at the most inopportune moments and no amount of sleep or relaxation could drive it away when it decided to take its toll.
Today was not turning out to be a very good day and Touya was not happy. He had hoped that he might finally be able to tell Yukito how much he loved him today. He had hoped that he might finally be able to bring himself to say the words that he had been keeping back for so long. However, it seemed that fate had other plans. Sleep called out to him like the soft whisper of the breeze across the trees.
Touya glanced at the clock once more as his teacher droned on about binomial equations and derivatives. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes open and he was having trouble concentrating on his notes. He looked down at his spiral notebook and grimaced at the equations that he had written down. They hardly made any sense and faded into unintelligible lines near the bottom of the page. He sighed softly and shook his head. He would have to get the notes from Yukito later on.
Touya rested his head on his hands and stared up at the blackboard trying to feign interest in the problem. His mind drifted to thoughts of Yukito as it often did. His eyes closed and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
Touya started at the gentle touch of a hand on his shoulder and looked up blearily at the young man standing beside him. Yukito looked down at him with a gentle smile etched with concern. "To-ya, class is over." There was a hint of amusement in his eyes that danced behind his gaze and made Touya smile as he stretched his arms above him and glanced around at the empty classroom. He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment at the thought of everyone else filing out of the room at the end of the lecture and Yukito staying behind to wake him up even after the teacher had left.
"Thanks, Yuki." Touya said softly as he gathered his things and stuffed them into his backpack.
"Did you really think I would leave you here, To-ya?"
Touya stared back at his friend not quite sure what to say until Yukito's expression broke into a wide grin.
The two friends walked out of the building and headed towards home. Touya concentrated on each step afraid that if he let his mind wander again he might fall asleep once more. His grip on consciousness was delicate as it was and he didn't want to put himself or Yukito in any danger or inconvenience by allowing himself to succumb to his weariness.
Touya kept his eyes open by sheer force of will. Yukito glanced at him with concern every now and then but a steady silence had fallen over the pair and Yukito hated to break it.
"It's such a lovely day..." Yukito said nervously.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Do you, ummm... want to stop in the park?"
Touya shot him a questioning look.
"We could go over the notes from Calculus." Yukito smiled sheepishly.
Touya sighed and finally gave in. "Okay."
They found an empty bench and brought out their textbooks to begin studying.
Touya wasn't sure if it was the cool autumn breeze wafting across his face and blowing autumn leaves all around them or the warmth of Yukito's shoulder so close to his, but he was finding it difficult to concentrate as Yukito went over the last few math problems from class. Somewhere between the equations he felt his head fall onto Yukito's shoulder and he drifted off into a dream world swimming with numbers and the sound of Yukito's voice.
Yukito tensed slightly at the feel of Touya's head on his shoulder, but he gradually relaxed as he listened to the sound of Touya's slow and even breathing. Yukito stared down at the other young man longingly examining his features with a thoroughness that he couldn't afford to show when the other was awake to notice such things. He brought one hand up to brush the bangs away from Touya's forehead, but stopped just inches away from his face and held his hand hesitantly there for a few seconds before letting it drop back into his lap. He couldn't bring himself to do it even when Touya was asleep.
Yukito let out a soft sigh that blew his own feathery bangs briefly away from his face and returned his attention to the book before him. At least he could get some studying done while Touya slept.
Yukito knew that Touya didn't want him to feel guilty about the power transfer, but sometimes he couldn't ignore the gnawing sense of anxiety he felt at the sight of dark circles under his friend's eyes or on days like this when Touya just couldn't seem to stay awake no matter how hard he tried. Days like these were far less frequent now than they had been at first, but they bothered Yukito nonetheless and he still couldn't help but wonder if things would have been better if Touya had just allowed him to disappear.
Sakura had once told him that she was sure Touya loved him just as much as he did, but neither of them had ever had the courage to say the words and Yukito was becoming increasingly uncertain that the love he saw in Touya's eyes every now and then was the same kind of romantic love he felt for the dark-haired young man. He knew that he should tell Touya how he felt, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He was so afraid of shattering the friendship that he cherished so much, but until he said the words, he would never know for sure one way or the other.
The bright light of the afternoon sun faded into a glowing orange and pink as the sun sank closer and closer to the horizon. It was nearly time for dinner and they both needed to get home before the cool breezes of the moment turned into the icy chill of evening.
Yukito bent closer to his friend and shook him slightly trying to wake him for the second time that day. "To-ya, come on, To-ya, wake up."
And for the second time that day, Touya opened his eyes reluctantly to find his friend staring back at him with an expression somewhere between concern and amusement. Touya lifted his head off of Yukito's shoulder and found himself trying to hide the blush that graced his cheeks as he thought of the close contact they had shared while he was sleeping. He frowned at the sight of the sun already half way beneath the horizon and a few faint stars twinkling across the darker part of the sky.
The two young men made their way back to Touya's house slowly. Touya stumbled once or twice, but waved off any attempt by Yukito to help him. He tried to assure his friend with a gentle smile, but Yukito's gaze still held a hint of worry as they stopped at the walkway in front of the Kinomoto residence.
"Uh, Yuki, would you like to stay for dinner?" Touya asked hesitantly. He knew how much Yukito enjoyed spending time with his family and he felt guilty for all of the trouble he had caused Yukito already that day.
"I don't know, To-ya. You should get some rest." Yukito's eyes shimmered with concern in the moonlight.
Touya frowned at that, but couldn't find the strength to argue with the sentiment. He was tired and Yukito was right no matter how much Touya wished to deny it. He was disappointed, but he supposed his grand revelation would have to wait for a day when he could at least form a coherent thought without fighting against the nagging need to close his eyes for just a few moments.
Touya opened the door to an empty house. His father was working late again and Sakura was spending the night at Tomoyo's house this evening.
Once inside, Touya trudged up the stairs and slowly made his way to his room. He flopped down on the bed gracelessly and let his mind wander to the expression on Yukito's face just before they had said goodbye to one another. He didn't look sad exactly, but he didn't seem happy either. Touya frowned at that. He wanted more than anything to make Yukito happy. He wanted to see his friend's eyes light up and see a genuine smile grace his lips. He wished he could be sure that his confession of love would evoke such a reaction, but he really had no idea what to expect. Happiness would be a glorious reward, but there was also so much potential for rejection. Yukito might look at him in disgust and run away. He might laugh at Touya's words and brush them aside without a second thought. Touya could lose so much with just one simple sentence. It was a risk he was not yet willing to take. He hoped that one day he would find the courage to let Yukito know his true feelings, but for now they would both have to wait.
TBC
Author's Notes: Hello! Thanks for reading! I'm still not really sure if I like this, but I decided to go ahead and post it anyway. I just finished watching the end of Card Captor Sakura again and I wanted to write something romantic and fluffy about Touya and Yukito. Unfortunately, this didn't turn out all that fluffy. It's not really supposed to be angsty either, it's just unresolved. I'll try to fix that in the next chapter ^_^ I should get that out by the end of the weekend. If not, it will have to wait until after exams (two weeks). Reviews are very much appreciated!