Well, it's official. I'm 20, so I decided to give ya'll a little present! Now, I've taken a few liberties with this, but if you're reading this, you know how I am with my stories. Basically, El and Kathy divorced a while back, and I don't think Eli exists. But this story wouldn't even exist if a little birdy hadn't whispered in my ear (well, yelled is more like it. LOL) She asked for this, so here it is! Thanks, eando4ever17!
Disclaimer: I asked for them for my birthday, but all I got was a restraining order. So I guess they're still Dick Wolf's... dang.
EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO
Olivia Benson was afraid. For the first time in her life, she was too terrified to even draw in a deep breath. She wasn't about to be attacked, and she wasn't about to lose her life. But she might as well have. Because in front of her, splayed out over the concrete, was her partner.
His chest barely rose and fell, and the ground might as well have been covered in quicksand, because she couldn't get to him fast enough.
"Elliot!" She finally reached him, and her knees screamed in protest as she hit the ground and pressed her hands against his chest. But she didn't care about the pain. All she could see was him, and all she could feel was his chest struggling to rise and fall beneath her hands.
"Elliot..." She reached out and touched his cheek, trying to capture his attention. If she could keep him focused on her, she could keep him conscious. Her hand ran gently over his forehead, then into his thinning hair.
His eyes finally came to rest on her, and she breathed relief as she barked at a gawking passerby to call for help. Then she resumed stroking his hair. "El, stay awake, okay?"
A soft groan rumbled through his chest as he shifted beneath her. "Livia..."
She nodded, tears stinging her eyes. "I'm here. Just keep your eyes on me, okay?"
He nodded slightly and summoned the strength to lift his hand and cover hers. She seemed so afraid, so lost, and he hated himself for putting that there. He caused her more pain than he had ever intended.
She swallowed hard and squeezed his hand, hoping to pass some of her strength into him. In the distance she could already hear the wail of a siren, and she squeezed his fingers. "They're almost here, Elliot. Just hang in there."
He nodded, but his eyes closed against his will and his grip loosened.
Immediately an overwhelming panic surged through her, and she gave him a gentle shake. "El, open your eyes!" she barked sharply, nearly choking on the words.
He finally complied, coughing weakly. "Liv..."
She scooted closer to his head, keeping one hand firmly on his chest. "Elliot, you have to stay awake, okay? The bus is almost here."
He suddenly grabbed at her hand again, squeezing it as hard as he could. He couldn't leave her, but it was getting harder to breathe. He felt his head being lifted up, and he almost smiled when he realized that she had put his head in her lap.
She knew he was struggling to breathe, so she had moved him to aide his breathing. She would never admit to anyone else that she was desperate to keep him close to her, as if it would somehow keep him alive and safe.
His eyes slipped shut again, and suddenly he felt something being placed over his face. His eyes shot open and he struggled to get it off.
One paramedic reached down to stop him. "Detective Stabler, you need the oxygen mask." He looked at his coworkers. "Let's move him!"
As they carefully lifted him onto the stretcher, Olivia quickly scrambled to her feet, grabbing Elliot's hand again as they rushed him to the bus. But as they loaded him into the bus, one medic prevented Olivia from climbing in. "Ma'am, there's not enough room!"
"Unless you want me to hand you a body part, let me in there," Olivia growled, her eyes fiery.
The young paramedic nodded nervously and let Olivia climb in.
As the medics started to work on Elliot, Olivia sat down near his head and rested a hand on his forehead. The gesture was symbolic, almost possessive, but she thought nothing of it.
He had panicked a little when he heard them tell Olivia she couldn't ride, but when she came to his side, he relaxed. She would never abandon him, unlike so many people in his life.
She leaned over, and he felt her warm breath against his skin.
Her hand moved over his forehead, protecting and comforting. "It's going to be okay, Elliot."
She nodded, leaning closer. "I'm here," she whispered as the bus lurched forward.
His right hand came up, moving of its own accord, and buried itself in her thick hair.
He sighed quietly as his fingers played with the chestnut strands. He had always wondered what her hair felt like, and of course it would take something like this for him to find out.
She finally opened her eyes. He was watching her with such an intensity that, if she hadn't been sitting, her knees surely would have given out. She let her left hand gently run over his cheek, then touch his lips.
His eyes slipped shut, and Olivia allowed her fingers another moment of pleasure
He looked up at her again as his hand slid from her hair to the back of her neck. One of the medics had given him something for the pain, but he was fighting it desperately. He needed just another minute with her, just another day. But it would never satisfy him.
She reached behind her head and took his hand, regretfully pulling it away from her neck. Then she tangled her fingers in his and brought their hands to rest against her racing heart. He was going to be fine. This was Elliot. She knew him better than she knew herself, she thought at times. He had come through a rough divorce in one piece, and somehow he would get through this.
His eyelids were heavy, but he studied her face, her thoughtful expression. So many things had gone wrong in the last few years, but this wasn't one of them. And he had fought like hell to keep it that way. He had lost his wife and nearly lost his kids, he had almost lost his job more times than he could start to count, but he hadn't lost her.
She watched his eyes slide shut again, and she leaned closer, until their foreheads touched. She had never, ever allowed herself this much until tonight, until now. But she couldn't stop it, nor did she desire to. This was Elliot. And at so many times, the desire in her heart and the logic in her mind nearly ripped her in half when it came to him. She sighed softly and squeezed his hand.
He gripped her hand as tight as he could manage, needing to reassure himself that she was still there. But he knew that she wouldn't leave him.
She inhaled sharply, slowly bringing his hand up to her mouth. God, she wanted to kiss him, but now wasn't the time nor the place. So she settled for touching her lips lightly to his knuckles.
An exhausted smile touched his lips, and he turned his hand and brushed her soft lips with his calloused fingers.
The paramedic who was working on Elliot noticed this, and he caught Olivia's eyes. "Don't worry, ma'am," he assured her. "Your husband is going to be fine."
She almost let out a strangled laugh. God, she wished that was true.
Elliot pushed his oxygen mask away again. "Yeah... Liv..." he rasped. "I'll be fine..."
She grew bold and leaned over, laying her head by his. Then she gently draped her arm over him, careful to stay out of the way of the paramedics who were taking care of him.
He let out a relieved sigh and nuzzled her head, wrapping his arm around her and locking her in place.
She relaxed against him, breathing deeply as she fought against her tears. It was right then that she knew, without a doubt, that he would walk away from all of this. And she would be right there, helping him.
He closed his eyes again, not fighting the medic when he slid the oxygen mask back into place with an annoyed frown.
Olivia held Elliot like that until the ambulance jerked to a stop in front of the entrance of the ER. And she only moved when the paramedic gently ushered her away so they could move Elliot out of the ambulance.
When they started to move him, Elliot reached out and grabbed Olivia's hand, clinging to it desperately. He wasn't going to let anything separate them. He needed her too damn much to let that happen.
She rushed alongside his stretcher, and her heart broke when she was stopped by a man in a white coat. Her tears finally broke free as Elliot was rushed into an exam room. She hurried to the door, trying to breathe as Elliot's intense gaze remained riveted to her, despite the other people in the room. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself.
He watched her as she stood at the door, looking lost and worried. He tried to smile, to reassure her, but he couldn't. He heard the voices of the doctors become frantic, and he wanted to tell her that he would see her soon. But he couldn't summon the strength, and suddenly he couldn't even hold his eyes open. He studied her for a moment longer before finally losing his grip on consciousness.
Olivia felt panic engulf her again when Elliot's eyes closed and didn't open again. Suddenly she was being pushed away from the entrance to the room, and the door was slammed shut in her face.
She stared at it, stunned. They couldn't do this! He needed her near, to be strong for him. Not out in some waiting room, even if it was procedure that she had known for years.
"Olivia!"
Cragen's voice floated over the hustle and bustle of the emergency room, but she didn't acknowledge him. All she wanted was Elliot.
Cragen came up to her, and when he saw the blood, he immediately checked her over for any injuries. He knew Elliot had been shot, but no one had said anything about her.
She pushed his hands away, shaking her head. "I'm fine." But the tremble in her voice betrayed her true feelings.
He looked at the door she was staring at. "Is he in there?"
She nodded, numb.
If she wasn't in there, there had to be a reason. He gently took her elbow. "Come on, Liv. Let's get you cleaned up."
She pulled away from him roughly, shaking her head. "No. I'm not going anywhere."
"Liv, you know you're his proxy and next of kin. They'll find you. At least come get a cup of coffee and tell me what happened," he coaxed gently.
She turned on him, fighting back her tears. "Don, I can't. I have to stay here." She rubbed impatiently at her eyes.
"Fifteen minutes. Just give me that." He gently touched her shoulder.
She lowered her head, and he took that as her assent. Gently taking her arm, he lead her away from the door, and as much as they both hated, away from Elliot.
She turned her head and looked back as they walked away. He was going to be okay. She had to believe that.
Or she would lose her mind.
The End...?
A/N: So, there ya have it. Now, whether or not there's a second chapter is up to ya'll! Thanks for reviewing, and please remember to review!