do you know how heavy you are?
do you feel your bones turn to lead in your body,
do you feel your shoulders sinking,
do you feel yourself descend down down down into the earth,
breathless,
hopeless,
unworthy.
do you?
(there's a solution, of course there is. you're too heavy already you don't need to eat more. you can't eat another bite, although you want to, of course you do, but you need to be lighter, and fingers down the back of your throat only let you gag, so it's another skipped meal today. has anyone noticed that you haven't eaten in 78 hours and counting? has anyone noticed your brittle bones and sunken skin? of course they haven't. you work so hard to make them look away, and how could someone as carefree as you be so fucking heavy?)
(115 isn't the perfect weight anymore)
(you know it's true, tom told you, and tom never lies)