"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you," pleaded Mr. Darcy. He continued, quite tragically, to explain how the circumstances of their acquaintance have been the cause of his struggles, and he had finally decided to overcome those obstacles to humble himself to ask for his dear Miss Elizabeth's hand.
Blankly, Elizabeth stared back at him. She wanted to yell and scream and explain why she thought him to be haughty and undeserving of her hand. She wanted to, but she didn't. Instead, she stared at him for a good few minutes, until she requested that they both sat down.
Once comfortable, Elizabeth thought to herself and considered everything she had heard about the man. She knew at least one to be false, and was still quite curious about the truth of the other accusations she could have laid at his feet.
"Sir," Elizabeth finally said after a long pause, "I appreciate the struggle you have been through, and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done. However, after that contemptuous proposal, and the things I myself have observed, along with the stories circulated about you, I cannot accept your proposal."
His face fell and his countenance shifted from tight nervousness to tragic defeat at these words. It was upon seeing this desperateness that Elizabeth finally resolved to convince him of a different approach.
"However, I would not reject you if you requested a courtship. You have thoroughly insulted me through your proposal, and though I am sensible enough to realize that all of your obstacles are accurate and indisputable, they are hardly sentiments that will conjure affection," whispered Elizabeth, fighting with her own emotions, a mix of anger, contempt, sadness, and somehow, longing.
At her words, Mr. Darcy's head shot up and an apologetically rueful smile covered his face. It was that smile, with sadness still in his eyes that Elizabeth realized he had dimples. Realizing how handsome he was, even with such hopeful pain drawn across his face, Elizabeth was forced to catch her breath. After a half-second pause, he flew over to where she was sitting, and on one knee, pleaded for forgiveness and lavished her with thanks.
"Please forgive my oafish behavior. I was so wrapped up with how I felt that I didn't once consider how you felt. I am most grateful for your kindness in bestowing upon me a second chance. Would you please do me the great honor of accepting my proposal of courtship?" he requested, pleading so vehemently it seemed he was begging her to spare his life.
"Yes, I will court you. And the first discussion I wish to have as a courting couple is of great importance. I want to clear the air between us. Not quite start anew, but relieve any discomforting thoughts and rumors. I wish for you to explain somethings to me, and I want to reveal something to you of the upmost secrecy, and you must promise to never breathe a word of my secret," stated Elizabeth.
"I promise," was Mr. Darcy's single reply.
"Good. Shall we take a walk outside. This small house is far to stifling for me to air out all that must be said, and as I am sure you are aware, I take great joy in walking. In fact, I have been called an excellent walker by one of our most estimable mutual acquaintances," Elizabeth suggested with a sly grin, relieving some of the tension that the conversation had created.
With a slight chuckle and an eager nod, Mr. Darcy stood and offered Elizabeth his arm. She immediately accepted and placed her light fingers around his sturdy forearm. The couple then silently exited the abode to walk the park.
After a few minutes of utter silence, Elizabeth, always the brave soul, finally spoke.
"Sir, I want to ask you a question, not meant to anger, but to ask why. Your Fitzwilliam cousin informed me that you broke up a friend from an unfortunate match. I, of course, deduce quite quickly that he was speaking about my beloved sister and your friend Mr. Bingley. So, I just wish to know why."
"I removed Mr. Bingley from Hertfordshire because, as a friend, I believed it my responsibility. I could claim the reason to be the belief that your family was to be inferior, or that it was because your mercenary mother was so strongly advocating the match, but it was because I believed him to be more attached than she, and I did not wish him to be caught in an uneven marriage," he stated. As soon as he had spouted the words, he realized the insult and repent-fully added, "but I never thought of you that way. I knew you did not agree with your mother's intentions because of your reactions to her speeches. I am sorry that I did feel that way about your mother, but I am trying to speak only in truths."
Breathing deeply, Elizabeth answered, "I do not hold it against you that you were wary when it came to my mother. I know she only wants the best for us, no matter how much she harasses me for not being as pretty and as likeable as Jane or Lydia. I do ask, however, why you assumed to understand my sister. She acted in a respectful manner, paying polite attentions to your friend, and yet you scrutinize her for not fawning over him like other young ladies, much like my two youngest sisters. Can you not see the hypocrisy, sir? Furthermore, my sister is shy. She barely reveals her true feelings to me. And her true feelings regarding your friend were of strong admiration, and she is now feeling great pain from the loss of his company."
By the end of her speech, Elizabeth was fighting back her venomous tongue, even though she knew he deserved to be heavily berated. She knew what really mattered now was to better observe his character. A man of good character would not only admit his faults, but also take it upon himself to fix the situation, with no personal incentive required.
With an overwhelming feeling of remorse, Mr. Darcy spoke in a sad tone much more befitting a small child caught doing something naughty, "How could I be so obtuse? I am extremely sorry for what I have done, and I will do everything in my power to fix it. It is no wonder you find me to be selfish and vile. I thought I was doing my friend some good, by protecting his heart, but instead I have created great pain to two kind people."
Realizing that he had been well intentioned, even if the actions had hurt Jane, Elizabeth forgave him. Instead of saying anything, however, she gave him a weak smile and gently squeezed his arm. They continued their walk in silence for a few more minutes until Mr. Darcy finally broke the quiet.
"Is there anything else you wish to discuss? I'd rather get everything cleared now, so that we might be able to better come to know each other without any shortcomings or feelings of anger to stunt the growth."
Trying to decide where to next go, Elizabeth finally decided to ask a question to heal her own pride.
"On the first night of our acquaintance, the Meryton assembly, I overheard you tell Mr. Bingley that I was not handsome enough to tempt you," she said. She allowed a brief pause after feeling his entire body stiffen at her words, before she continued by saying, "I was not trying to eavesdrop, but I was right behind you, and I heard the discussion never the less. Since then, I have assumed you greatly disliked me, because every time we encounter, I catch you staring at me with a look that could only be searching for fault. Why, after so much distain, did you humble yourself to ask for my hand? Why could you say that you loved me after attacking me with your glares for so long?"
Stopping abruptly and turning to face her, he said, "I am sorry that you heard me utter such an insult, and I feel I must once again request that you accept my most sincere apologies. I must explain that by saying that to Charles, I was rather trying to get him to leave me alone. I was in a poor mood as my mind was determined to focus on an event that had recently caused my family some great trouble. I was not even aware of who he was speaking. I was thoroughly distracted and the only reason I was even at the assembly was at the request of Charles."
Elizabeth, at hearing his words of apology, realizing she had assumed the worst and had pledged to hate the man without knowing the truth of his then mood, blushed vibrantly and looked down at her feet. Upon seeing what he could only describe as the most beautiful shade of red, Darcy found himself lost for words. Only after taking a deep breath and clearing his mind was he able to further explain to him her why he had acted so coldly.
"As for staring at you, I was not looking for a fault. I was so entranced by your uncommon beauty, that I sometimes berated myself for not being strong enough to look away. I was never placing you under scrutiny, not the angel that I was fighting to look away from. I was in awe of your intelligent eyes and how they sparkled with mirth whenever you spoke of something you found amusing. I enjoyed trying to decipher what you were thinking and what you were planning to do or say next by how your facial expressions changed. I even found happiness and joy in admiring your countenance when you were thinking of witty remarks meant to tease me. If only I had realized that you were not teasing me out of mutual admiration, but to berate me for my unkind behavior towards you. And I have never hated you, I just hated myself for being so enchanted by you."
Flattered by hearing the most vehement praise of her beauty she had ever heard, spoken from the last man she had ever expected, Elizabeth looked back up at him and was once again surprised by how handsome he was. His piercing green eyes, his dark waves that adorned his head, and his sad smile that played upon his lips that was just barely noticeable, all surprised her. How could she have been so blind as to not only miss the true character of the man, his affections for her, but also be ignorant of his easy beauty?
Determined to be kind to the new man that had shone through his aloof exterior and her own stone wall prejudices, she let out a little giggle of joy and put him at ease with a calm response of, "Don't bog yourself down too far in misunderstanding my teasing. I tease everyone."
At this he let out a husky laugh, and they continued their walk down the path.