a little something about kinesthetic learning and a criminal amount of geometry metaphors. please see the end for extended author's notes!
Shinji is all planes and flat lines, and Kaworu drags his tongue along each one.
He squirms, breath tumbling from his lungs in weak little puffs as Kaworu licks lengthwise in slow, wet stripes over his stomach. His skin feels like it's on fire; the sheets of his bed stick to his back, his shoulder blades. Shinji shifts uncomfortably against the heat, staring down at Kaworu from under the shadow of the arm he's tossed over his eyes. Kaworu meets his gaze – even obscured, he knows the exact shade of blue. He whispers his name, pressing a kiss just below his ribs.
Shinji lifts himself on his elbows. Kaworu moves to meet him.
The halfway point they've constructed does not have adequate foundation to support itself; when Kaworu's long fingers cup around Shinji's jaw he is all too eager to fall back into their bed and Kaworu with him. It's maddening, but Kaworu will never allow it to take him to the point where he could ever hurt Shinji. His grip tightens just slightly, as he sighs and sweeps his tongue against Shinji's, and Shinji's fingers come to wrap around his wrists.
There is still so much of him to be attended to. Shinji is reluctant to let Kaworu pull their lips apart, but he does so with a gasp. His little mouth is swollen from kissing, and it makes Kaworu ache to dismiss the softness of it. He breathes his name again, indulges in a sweet peck of their lips before he is bowing his head to lick from his throat to the tip of Shinji's chin.
His body itself is so linear – the flatness of his chest, the sharp angles of his elbows and hips and knees. Kaworu considers drawing curves with his tongue. He reaches for Shinji's arm and brings his wrist up to his lips. He presses a kiss there; admiration overflows from his eyes as he looks at the boy. Again; a third time, Kaworu pushes his mouth against the pulse singing beneath his skin.
Shinji makes a strangled little noise – waves threaten to crash none-too-gently on the shore; they are tall and heavy with devastating feelings of love and gratitude, and somewhere also, sadness and fear. Kaworu breaks them apart with kisses just over his heartbeat. Shinji can feel him speaking, but cannot understand what he says; it's less important when Kaworu flicks his tongue over a nipple and heat floods throughout his body.
He can feel Shinji press closer to him, begging. His back bows and lifts him upward to seek more of Kaworu's mouth; he wants more than anything to swallow down Shinji's helpless sounds, but there is still so much more of him to learn. Kaworu closes his mouth and sucks lightly, hands sliding down the length of Shinji's body to where he aches between his hips. If anything, he hopes to make up for how thorough he is currently being with his mouth. He curls his hand around Shinji and moves slowly.
Kaworu pulls his mouth away with a tiny pop of sound, and painstakingly kisses his way down his sides; he shushes the other as his hand continues to slide up and down, thumb adding pressure where he knows it feels best. Shinji lifts a hand to his mouth and bites at the skin of his knuckles. Kaworu stares, with wide and curious eyes, and he can feel the straining effects of watching him just below his belly. He feels the control flow out of him as he lifts himself to meet Shinji once more, expression unreadable as he pulls Shinji's arm away and his mouth hovers over the line of Shinji's trembling one.
It's unbearable, how Shinji looks at him – all big, pleading eyes and pink dusted cheeks and his lips are wet when he licks them. Kaworu runs the tip of his own tongue over the part in Shinji's mouth, and he makes the most impatient sound as he lifts himself up and fits their lips together.
He rolls to where one of his legs fits between Shinji's, and the boy is almost immediately rubbing against him; Kaworu lets out a hiss as Shinji scrapes his teeth over his bottom lip, and he brushes his fingers down and along Shinji's thigh as he hooks it around his waist. He struggles to keep his hips from rocking – they move forward enough to make Shinji aware of the hardness trapped between them, and Shinji pulls his mouth away to let out another small moan. Kaworu takes the opportunity to grab at his knee again and push his thighs apart.
He mouths from just below Shinji's ear to the corner of his mouth, leaving feverish kisses before he catches Shinji's mouth again. Kaworu's hands slide down between his thighs to touch him again – while he makes sure to pleasure Shinji as carefully and attentively as possible, he is content to thrust slowly against the sharp curve of his hip. Shinji shudders, hard; makes a mewling noise into his mouth, and he weakly tugs at Kaworu's arm. He murmurs for more against Kaworu's mouth, and Kaworu nods; his obligation is no question. There are always more lessons he will learn from Shinji this way.
Shinji makes such wonderful sounds when Kaworu pushes his fingers inside. He shuts his eyes tight and his body twists with pent-up desire. Kaworu observes thoughtfully, sucking a mark into his shoulder, as he teases him. He slides them slowly in and out, marveling at how Shinji's muscles work overtime underneath his soft skin; at the noises he makes. Kaworu could go on, if Shinji wouldn't look into his eyes as he does now and beg, once again, for more.
Kaworu's fingers are splayed across his sides as he fits all the way in; Shinji's breaths become ragged with the effort and Kaworu licks across his throat. He can feel the vibration there – Shinji's pitched, needy moans and calls of Kaworu's name. He nuzzles against it, hips thrusting in a straight line. Shinji's shoulders roll, back curving as he arches closer to Kaworu; his nails scrape at his back and Kaworu grins against the smoothness of his skin.
He lifts himself against tightness and heat, losing himself with each movement and Shinji's cries – Kaworu can feel the tension in his body ebb out when he comes. Kaworu moves over Shinji, flushed and panting, and kisses his open mouth as he feels the heat in his body reach a breaking point. Shinji's hips move in slow, languid movements as the bright light behind his eyelids starts to fade away, and Kaworu shivers against it.
They lay in a tangle of limbs for a long moment. Kaworu takes the opportunity to notice each one – how Shinji is slender and his arms, legs, fingers all seem so endless. He brings one of his hands to his lips and kisses each knuckle. Shinji makes a quiet, happy sound.
It's nothing short of awe seeing how each line of Shinji's entire being intersects to create this boy, his greatest blessing.
Kaworu turns Shinji's hand to press his palm against his cheek, thoughtful.
A/N: before any and all related notes, i must apologize. there's a bit of, for lack of a better and kinder term, purging going on for me at the moment, so i have unfortunately taken it upon myself to delete a few of the stories i have published here. i believe that what remains currently is what will, in fact, be remaining, yet things like that are always subject to change. i happened to be horribly embarrassed with some of my earlier work, and then again when i found several concepts to be repetitive. i can't imagine how that must be for my readers and not myself.
good news, though – due to this, this particular fic has been through several circles of editing hell so that i was satisfied enough to post it. i've also changed up a bit of my writing style. this is a second thing i wrote for 5/3, but after a sloppy rough draft that my partner so wonderfully offered to read (there wasn't too much convincing to be done, actually) i threw it back into the editing machine (read: squinting at word and painstakingly examining the sentence structure for hours and hours).
i believe and pray that there will not be as many drastic measures in the future, but i do hope that my insecurities and consequent efforts paid off in the sense that this was enjoyable for at least someone. if not, at least i'm happy with it!
thank you.