Warning: Slash. RemusXSirius. Very bad, crude humour.
I do not own Harry Potter and never will (much to my disappointment)
"What would you do Moony?"
"What would I do when Padfoot?"
"Not when if."
"Sirius, you're making no sense what so ever."
"Really Moony?"
"Yes Padfoot."
"…"
"So what did you want Padfoot?"
"What would you do Moony?"
"You've already said that!"
"Have I?"
"Yes! Did James hit you on the head again?"
"Erm…yes, but-"
"Thought he had."
"Don't roll your eyes! I'm trying to ask you a serious question Moony!"
"Well hurry up and ask me then!"
"What would you do if you thought you were in - in l - love with some-one?"
"How hard did he hit you?!"
"Remus!"
"Sorry Sirius but you sound so out of character."
"Answer the question then!"
"Erm… well I don't really know Padfoot."
"I'll try rephrasing it then!"
"…okay"
"Moony, what would you do if you fancied someone that happened to be a boy?"
"Erm…"
"Hypothetically."
"Sirius?"
"Yes Remus?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Erm… I don't… Peter does! Yes Peter, he's who wants to know!"
"So why isn't Peter asking me?"
"Erm… too embarrassed?"
"Whatever Sirius."
"Answer Moony!"
"Fine Then."
"Go on then!"
"Hypothetically speaking I would tell someone so they could help me"
"Yeah, good idea."
"…"
"Hey Moony, can I tell you something?"
"…"
"I fancy a guy in our year."
"Big surprise."
"…"
"What Padfoot!"
"How did you know?!"
"Hypothetically speaking, how couldn't I?"
"Hmph."
"Don't sulk Sirius."
"Can I ask you another hypothetical question then?"
"Hypothetically."
"I'll take that as a yes then."
"…"
"What if you'd liked him for ages and wanted him to notice you?"
"Hypothetically?"
"Hypothetically."
"Hypothetically I would just tell him."
"Yes, but what if you couldn't?"
"What do you mean?"
"What if telling him you liked him would like end your friendship or something?"
"Hypothetically?"
"Hypothetically."
"Then I don't know, but it hurts like hell."
"Oh. Yes it does."
"Sirius, tell him."
"Why?"
"He'd be mad to reject you, hypothetically of course"
"Hypothetically, I love this boy and I really want to let him know, how would you do it?"
"Hypothetically I'd do it subtly."
"Subtly?"
"Yes. Subtly flirt with him, not in his face sort of thing."
"How do you do that?"
"Touch him at any excuse, talk to him and smile lot's at him"
"Oh."
"Hypothetically of course."
"Of course."
"You don't just push them up against a wall like you do Sirius"
"Well the girls like it!"
"Yes but would this hypothetical boy like it?"
"I - I don't think so."
"There you go then, Peter will be pleased."
"Peter?"
"I thought these questions were for Peter's sake?
"Oh yes they were Moony, hypothetical questions for Pete."
"Since when did Pete confide in you anyway?"
"Erm…"
"Who is it then Sirius?"
"I -er- I can't really tell you. Sorry."
"I'd hurry up and tell him if I was you."
"Yeah I might, though I would prefer to push him against a wall"
"Then do it!"
"Yeah, but I dunno - he'll probably take offence at it!"
"Well ask him first."
"Good idea."
"…"
"Moony how do you feel about been pushed up against a wall?"
"…"
"Hypothetically of course Remus."
"Hypothetically it would depend on who it was."
"Hypothetically it was me."
"Then hypothetically I wouldn't mind."
"Great. Fancy going for a walk?"
"Up the Astronomy Tower?"
"Of course."
"Okay then Padfoot."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"It's quiet."
"Yes Sirius, curfew ended two hours ago."
"Did it?"
"Yes."
"Hypothetically what would you say if I said I love your eyes."
"Hypothetically I'd say thanks and I love your hair, it's so shiny!"
"Hypothetically?"
"Hypothetically"
"Hey Moony?"
"Yeah?"
"oof!"
"…"
"…Sirius?"
"Can I kiss you now? Hypothetically of course."
"I thought you'd never ask, hypothetically."
"Good."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"You know Moony you're hypothetically a really good kisser."
"Sirius, I love you."
"Hypothetically?"
"Hypothetically."
"I love you too"
"Hypothetically?"
"Hypothetically."
Don't ask as I don't know. Remus was pushed against the wall btw P
You decide on the ending P Pretty clear to me though p