Well, here it is. My goodbye fic for the Tsubasa fandom. I'm unhappy with my writing here thus far, and so I think I need to switch fandoms, since my KuroFai stuff is getting worse and worse.
However, I hope you all enjoy!
"All your dreams are nothing compared to what Night will give us with all Her sins and love."
- "From Dusk Till Dawn", Eldritch
.Dusk.
"This world doesn't get much light, huh?"
"...No, I suppose it doesn't."
"Japan was never this dark. It's... odd."
"I'm fine with it."
"Why? Was your world dark, too?"
"No."
"Then why?"
"The sun... irritates my skin."
"Really? I never noticed that. Have you always been that way?"
"...No. It's a... recent development."
"Oh?"
(He sighs. The other man will never understand the details of being a vampire.)
"...Are you hungry?"
(Yes, of course he's hungry, he's always hungry, he always wants he always wants he always wants.)
"...No."
"Do you need to feed?"
(Yes, of course he needs to feed, he's starving, he feels like he's dying he feels like he's dying he feels like he's dying.)
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"...Fine. Do what you want."
(He watches the other man turn and leave, heading back into the cottage this world has provided for them. Left alone with the setting sun, he places a hand on the eyepatch and knows that the fading light is not the only reason he's struggling to see.)
.Evening.
Even without any clothing on, the layers of sweat and skin and muscle on his body make him hot, too hot, and tired (so very tired. He thought he had more energy than this. He thought he had more life to him). Dizzy, Fai takes a deep inhale to regain the breath that the other man is stealing from him, with fingers and lips and who knows what else. His vision fades in and out as he breathes, oxygen-deprived brain making it look to him as though the walls are breathing with him, in, out, in, out.
Fai can't think clearly (his mind is falling apart at the seams), and then he can't think at all, white exploding in front of his eyes as every muscle in his body coils like a spring and then loosens as he collapses back down, his hands and knees no longer able to support him as he flops lifelessly onto his stomach.
The ninja is toppled on top of him, as well, and Fai realizes that the other man must have finished while he was still mid-orgasm. Apparently, they came together, and the idea is so cheesy and ridiculous to Fai that he laughs before grunting and trying to push himself up. The ninja, however, stays stubbornly over him, even when Fai starts jabbing him harshly in the ribs.
"I should go," Fai says eventually, annoyed and tired of the other's man oblivious act. They never dwell on anything like this. When it's over, they go their separate ways.
"What if I don't want you to?"
"Let me go," Fai orders. "Don't be such a child. You're supposed to be the father, after all. Think about what's best."
"Maybe it's best for you to stay."
"...Maybe." (Or maybe he needs to leave. Now. Right now.) "Now let me go."
"..."
Fai waits patiently through the other's silence, and waits, and waits. Finally, he can feel the other man roll of off him (and a weight is lifted in more ways than one). Quickly, he stands and walks to the door, almost out of the room, when he hears the ninja address him.
"I told you once that I would hit you if you did something stupid again, but I take it back. You're already causing yourself more pain than I could ever deal out with a physical blow."
(And Fai wishes that the ninja had slapped him, because that would hurt so much less than those words. And through the hurt, he smiles, even knowing that it's the most unhappy expression he's ever worn.)
"How considerate of you," he retorts, turning his back once more.
(And Fai ignores the way those red eyes glow more fiercely in these dying hours, with the moonlight faintly illuminating the pale blue sky, than they ever do in the bright, bright sun.)
"Well, I'll see you later."
(And as Fai leaves the room, he knows for certain that this needs to be stopped.)
.Twilight.
Fai found it out when he went into town today, looking for a feather. Apparently there's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight, right at the time when the blue sky bleeds into purple and the moon crawls upwards, upwards, climbing high into the sky.
Fai looks at the length of his shadow. It should be any minute now.
A few seconds later, a bright light shoots through the sky. A small smile falls on his face. The shooting star is very pretty, and he thinks maybe it won't be so hard to lose himself in the celestial show. Eagerly, he awaits the next star.
It never comes.
A few minutes later, and still, nothing comes. Fai frowns. There's supposed to be a whole shower. Not one measly star. One measly, lonely star. That would be so disappointing.
But when no more stars fall, Fai just lets out a disinterested sigh. He's used to disappointment.
As he reclines back into the grassy field beneath him, Fai wonders what happened to that single, lonely, measly star. Did it fall somewhere distant? Maybe it doesn't even exist anymore, deteriorated on its journey through the atmosphere. Perhaps, if that is the case, it's better that it fell alone. Better for one to fall alone than for many to be dragged down it.
(And he thinks of breathing walls and blank, thoughtless minds, and being pushed down and pulling the ninja down, pulling the ninja down with him, down down down.)
When Fai closes his eyes, he makes a wish upon the star to not wish anymore.
.Nightfall.
"You look good."
"Don't lie to me."
"No, seriously. You should know me by now. I don't give away compliments for the hell of it."
"...Hm. Your delusions must be quite the heavy burden for you."
"Che. You shouldn't talk. I bet your burdens are much heavier."
(Yes, it feels like he has the whole world on his his scrawny, bony shoulders.)
"That's silly. I don't have any burdens."
"Liar."
(That word still hurts. So much. So much.)
"You may be right. But in any case, we're not talking about me. We're talking about you, and your delusions."
"I'm not delusional. You look good - I mean, now, in this instant.. The night... you wear the night well." (an insightful observation, though it's a shame that it's a sunrise and sunset too late.)
"Oh, yes! A ghostly pale cyclops. I'm sure I'm quite attractive. It must by why all the children ran away from me screaming."
"You idiot. They were running away from me. Not that I blame them, I've never exactly been child-friendly. Trust me, they'd never run away from someone who looks so much like a..."
"A what?"
(He knows the truth, knows of angels and their glowing whiteness. He knows and fights and fights and fights.)
"..."
"Well?"
"...Nothing."
"That's what I thought."
(Fai is once again the first one to leave. He knows what the other man was going to say - he doesn't want to hear, even if it is true. Laughing bitterly, he can only think that he must be horrible arrogant to liken himself to something celestial, though some small, sour part at the back of his mind takes this time to wonder if maybe the single, lonely, falling, deteriorating, measly star fell to the earth and turned into him.)
.Midnight.
He knows he shouldn't stay, but once, just this once, he does. Fai indulges just this one time, though he moves as far away from the other man as possible, sticking as close to his edge of the bed as he can.
"There's more room over here, you know."
"I know, but it's okay," Fai states dismissively. "I like this side better."
"...Why? They're exactly the same. That side isn't any better than my side."
(Anything is better than your side.)
"I don't know," Fai says with a shrug. "I just like this side better. Weird habits, I suppose."
They lay in silence for several minutes, and Fai feels relief wash over him with the hope that the other man has not only left the subject alone, but has fallen asleep as well. However, his relief is short-lived.
"It's my fault you're blind."
Fai's eye snaps open. "I'm not blind," he growls, gritting his teeth together. "And I fail to see how you would be responsible for that, even if I was."
The ninja doesn't respond, and nothing more is said for hours. Shortly around midnight, Fai hears steady breath and sees the even rise and fall of the other man's chest, but it fails to change anything for him. He's too irritated to sleep now.
(Fai thinks that if he truly were blind, he'd be seeing from the other man's eyes)
.Dawn.
Before the sun even fully rises, Fai slips out of bed and exits the room, locking the door behind him (just like his thoughts and just like his feelings). He's sure that when the ninja notices his absence, the other man will get his message.
(He'll be the first and last to know.)
Fai casts one last glance out the hallway window at the rising sun and its glowing, life-giving rays, which make his skin itch and his eye burn and his vampire blood boil.
Then he walks into his room and slams the door behind him.
(The night is over, and so then, are they.)
Cheerio! I had a good run, and who knows? Maybe I'll return someday, when my writing here isn't complete crud.
Please review!
-Insidiae-