Lessons Learned
Axel was standing at the window of his room in the Organization headquarters. There was a tray filled with sand for his amusement. When you super-heat sand you get glass. Axel could make anything out of glass. A few days ago, Roxas had challenged Axel to make something delicate. Axel had been debating what to make and how to do it. Glass that was delicate was hard to handle. It broke easily and Axel wasn't used to being gentle. He aimed to rise fully to Roxas' challenge and make something detailed that would please the blonde boy. Axel settled down to work. Twice he broke the figure and had to start over, but on the third go round he was successful. It was perfect…
At dinner that night, Roxas called him out. "How's it going with your delicate glass-making, Axel?" "Come to my room after sparring and I'll give you the figure. You should know better than to challenge me, Roxas." "It's the easiest way to get you to do what I want, Axel." The redhead blinked. One of the older Organization members laughed from the end of the table. "Don't worry, Axel, only your friends can so easily manipulate you. Roxas knows you and only someone with personal ties could move you." Axel shook his head. Larxene let out a bark of laughter. "Be careful, Roxas, when you play with fire, you get burned." "He likes me, Larxene. Maybe you should ask yourself why you get burned." Larxene sneered. "Axel doesn't like anyone." Axel shrugged. "It's not who I like, it's who I tolerate." "Yeah right, you would have flamed anyone else who dared to say you couldn't do something."
"That depends if their challenge was a reasonable one. I've never given Roxas, or anyone else for that matter, a reason to believe I'm capable of being gentle or delicate." "So if you might legitimately fail, it's okay?" It was Axel's turn to sneer. "I'll see you after sparring, Roxas." With that the redhead was gone. Roxas arrived that night just as Axel was changing out of his sparring robe. Axel let him in. "The figure is on the window sill," he gestured. Roxas picked the figure up. It was a solid glass orb. Trapped inside it was a tiny, intricate, glass rocking horse. "You've outdone yourself, Axel."
Axel grinned, smug. The piece was exquisite and he knew it. He had proven Roxas wrong. "That's for you, Rox." "I could never, Axel, it's yours." "I'm not meant to be gentle, Roxas. It is a struggle for me to handle something with care. I even have trouble being gentle with people I like." "Somehow I doubt that. If you really care about someone, it's easy to hold them." "I'm not sure I could be gentle with you and you're my closest friend." "There's only one way to find out," Roxas moved toward Axel. He hugged the redhead. "Thank you for making something so beautiful for me. I'm sorry I had to manipulate you into it." Axel pulled back and locked eyes with Roxas. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the blonde boy's.
Roxas kissed Axel back for a moment before turning away. He was blushing as he murmured, "We can't." "Why not?" demanded Axel. "The Organization would freak." "Don't ask, don't tell," Axel replied. They both knew they could get away with it. They would not be the first of the Organization men to lie together. "You're beautiful, charming, and dangerous, but we can't." "I want a legitimate reason, Roxas." "I know better, Axel. It's just physical attraction and that's not enough." Axel bit his lower lip. "Fair enough, but if this doesn't go away, I want you back here." Roxas blushed once again. "I will come back to you if, and only if, this turns into something more than physical want." "Eventually you'll have to satisfy that want, Roxas." Somehow, Roxas' blush deepened. "There are other ways, Axel." "Oh, hell, Roxas, you and your hand have fun." The flush spread to Roxas' ears and he quickly made his exit.
Axel lay down on his bed. He tried not to think about what he'd be doing on this bed now if he'd been successful with Roxas. "Charming, beautiful, and dangerous," Roxas had said. It basically described Axel to the "T". He shoved himself off the bed and stormed down the hall. His red hair began to crackle with sparks. When Axel reached Roxas' door he stopped and made himself take a deep breath. He reined his temper and calmed his flames before raising a hand to knock. Roxas opened the door instantly, having heard Axel all the way. Axel stepped into the blonde boy's room, closing the door behind himself. "I want to kiss, Roxas, nothing more, and nothing less." "I'll give in to you, Axel. If you start kissing me, touching me, I won't stop you." "I won't push it." "I don't believe you." "I promise, Roxas."
Roxas looked up at Axel. "I promise," were two words that rarely graced the redhead's lips. When Axel did say them, he meant them. Roxas closed his eyes to think for a minute. Though he couldn't see Axel, he raised a hand and pressed it against Axel's chest when the redhead came close. "You know me too well," Axel breathed. "I spar with you enough to know when you are near me." "Perhaps, but am I so predictable?" With that, Axel removed Roxas' hand from his chest and kissed the blonde boy. Roxas didn't fight him.
Axel brought his tongue across Roxas' bottom lip, asking for entrance. After a moment of consideration, Roxas parted his lips. A jolt went through Axel when their tongues connected. Thoughts of his promise made him abruptly break the kiss. Roxas looked at him. "What is it?" "French-kissing makes it hard to keep that promise." Roxas smiled. "What did you expect, Axel?" "I expected to be able to keep it in my pants until you let me into yours." "Why do you think I broke that first kiss? Or that I hesitated on the second one? I know my limits and my attraction to you is dangerous." "If it's so powerful, how do you resist me? Why do you resist me?" "I don't know how I do it, but I do it because I have to protect myself. You're a heart-breaker and I don't want anything ugly between us." "You mean like a bad break-up?" "A break-up implies there would be a relationship, Mr. One-Night-Stand."
Axel reached out and traced a finger down Roxas' jaw. "You should know you mean more to me than that, Roxas." "How long until you're bored, Axel?" "Roxas, I've had feelings for you for a long time." "And if they only last until you get what you want?" "What if I want it again?" "A relationship is more than sex, Axel, and I don't want one that isn't." "I understand that, Roxas. All I'm asking for is a shot." "If I fall in love with you and you don't fall in love me, what happens then?" "If it wasn't meant to be, you'll fall in love with who you're supposed to. All I'm saying is at this moment we have a chance to become one. Even if it turns out to be casual sex, you're still more important to me than anyone else." "And if we start something and it doesn't last?" "'Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all." Roxas narrowed his eyes for a moment, thinking. "I never should have let you in."
"I'm not pushing you, Rox. I promised I wouldn't, and I'm not. I'm only trying to figure out what you're afraid of." "I'm afraid when you're done with me there will be nothing left of me." "I'm not a man who makes promises, Roxas. If we're not going to do this, I need to leave now before I do something stupid." "I don't want you to leave, Axel. I may regret this in the morning, but green light, redhead." Axel's mouth twisted into that mocking smile of his. "Trust me, Roxas; no one ever regrets sex with me." "I'm going to go ahead and cross 'modesty' off the list." Axel growled and used a hand to press Roxas down onto the bed. He undid Roxas' robe and let it fall away, revealing the blonde boy's t-shirt and boxers. Both garments were black and skin-tight.
Axel lowered his lips onto Roxas', going straight for the kill with his tongue. He darted his tongue in and out of Roxas' mouth, which caused Roxas to raise his hips to Axel's. Both boys had to stop for a breath when they touched parts. It was nothing like the jolt of the French-kiss. It was a million times better. Axel undid his own robe. He didn't wear a t-shirt, except in the harshest weather. Roxas bared his own chest. Axel slid his tongue across the blonde boy's abs. Roxas let out a moan of pleasure. Axel noted with satisfaction that the other boy was fully erect.
"Lose the smirk, you're as up as I am." Axel chuckled and met Roxas' lips once more. He shoved a hand down Roxas' boxers and began to stroke. Roxas wanted to level the playing field. Axel was getting to him too easily. Roxas was fine with Axel being dominant, it should go to the one with more experience, but total submission from an Organization member had to be earned. Roxas began to pull Axel's boxers off. Axel returned the favor and lay down on top of Roxas, stretching to his full height. He locked eyes with the blonde boy, kissed him a few times and slowly began his descent. Roxas arched his back as Axel kissed his way down. Closer, closer, and just as Axel reached the place that counted, he stopped. "Axel," Roxas warned. "Say it," Axel replied. "I won't beg you for it." "Say it," Axel repeated. "Axel…" "Tell me what you want or you won't get it." "I want you to suck me," Roxas growled.
Axel complied. Roxas came easily, but Axel wasn't done. He flipped the blonde boy over and thrust in without pause. Roxas gave a shriek of pleasure and pain. Axel thrust in and pulled out as many times as he could handle before climaxing. He dropped onto the bed beside Roxas. "You were right," Roxas told him. "How is that?" "No matter what, I won't regret that." Axel started to laugh. Roxas joined in. They snuggled close and fell asleep. Morning came all too soon. Roxas woke first. "Axel, come on, we have to get moving before we're missed." Axel groaned. "Do we have time for a shower first?" Roxas blushed and Axel laughed. "Didn't color once when I was taking your clothes off, but now you blush?" Roxas shrugged. "It's involuntary. Yeah, we have time for a shower." Roxas went to start the water. Axel dragged himself out of bed and into the warm water. Roxas followed him. Axel washed the dried sleep from his eyes and turned to kiss Roxas.
"Good morning," he grinned. Axel lowered his head and began kissing Roxas' neck. Roxas tilted his head back to enjoy the attention for a moment. "We don't have time," he murmured. Axel kissed the other boy's lips to silence him. "You can bite my tongue for me and it still won't change the facts." Axel stepped aside so the spray hit Roxas. "Fine, wash up, but then we play." "What about you?" "Fire and water don't really mix. I'll wash later." Roxas nodded and washed. "After last night, I won't be clean for weeks," he smirked. Axel rolled his eyes. "Come on, Roxas, haven't you ever been put flat on your back— or in this case, your stomach— before?" "Of course, after all, you're not the only Organization member to take an interest in me."
Axel's eyes snapped into focus and his hair sizzled in the water. "Who else had their way with you?" "What difference does it make since he's got seniority?" "He has it on us both?" Roxas nodded. Axel bit his bottom lip. "You're cute when you sulk," Roxas grinned. "Which one is it, Roxas?" "Why does it make a difference that I have occasional casual sex with someone else? Even if you and I decided on an exclusive relationship, I can't refuse him." Axel looked away. If there were 5 or more members between you, a younger one couldn't refuse an older one. The older one had enough seniority to mandate complete obedience. Number 7, Saix, was the cut off because there were five years between him and Roxas, who was the youngest. No one was allowed to refuse number 1 and only number 2 and number 3 could refuse each other.
Roxas could have slept with any of 1-7, since they had seniority over Axel. "You refused me, and I'm the first one you can." Roxas nodded. There were four members between him and Axel: Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene. A thought suddenly slammed into Axel. "Has there been more than one other member?" Roxas looked away. "Yes, but there is only one I've done it with more than once." "I assume that was Zexion?" Roxas nodded. Zexion, number 6, was the most promiscuous of the members. "You resisted awful hard for someone who is easy." Roxas' eyes flashed. "I'm not easy! I can't refuse them, Axel! Do you understand what that's like? Numbers 1-7 can do whatever they want whenever they want to."
"Xemnas protects you. You're the baby." "They're allowed to have sex with me, Axel." "Do they?" "No, Zexion gets it when he asks for it and he's never gone for it when I hesitate. The only one who ever shoved me was Xemnas himself, and that was when he took my virginity." "Roxas, do you know what the other members would do to be called to Xemnas? He's number 1, for Christ's sake!" "I was 15, Axel! I'd never slept with anyone, or even come close. I was terrified and humiliated. He taught me so much and I owe him everything for it." "You probably threw Zexion for a loop." Roxas grinned. "Let's just say he was impressed." "I'm sure I will be too, since it's your turn next time." Roxas turned off the water and the boys dressed.
"I have to go see Xemnas now. He'll know I told you, and he'll want some answers." Axel nodded. "I'll keep my mouth shut." "That will be a first," Roxas laughed. He leaned in to kiss Axel. "See you later," Axel told him. Roxas headed for Xemnas' office, since breakfast was long over. Xemnas looked up at a knock on his study door. "Come in," he called. Roxas stepped in and closed the door behind him. "You wanted to see me, Boss?" Xemnas looked at the paper in front of him. He'd made a note to summon Roxas, but hadn't done so yet. "Perhaps you know something I don't, Number 13?" "I told Axel about our first personal encounter." "And why would you do that?" "I wish to start something more than physical with him and he asked me if I had experience. I told him he wasn't the first Organization member to call for me."
"No, but I was, Roxas." "You will always hold my virginity, Xemnas. It is all you asked me for." "I also requested your silence, Roxas." "I never meant to disobey you, Xemnas, but if I want a relationship with Axel, I can't let anyone blind-side him. We live too close together and if Axel ever heard it from someone else, he'd be hurt. Angry, yes, but hurt, and he doesn't give second chances, Xemnas." "Neither do I, little one." "I will take any punishment you have for me, Xemnas, but Axel is the exception. He is my best friend and we know each other in every way now. I won't lie to him and I won't keep things from him. You're always telling us to respect one another and that we have to function as a family to succeed." "I understand your decision, Roxas, and I don't disagree with it, but your disobedience is unacceptable. As punishment, you're under confinement for a week. Zexion will be your guardian."
Roxas had to bite back a swear word. Under confinement he was allowed to take meals in the main hall with the others, but that was it. The rest of the time would be spent in his room. As his guardian, Zexion was allowed to do anything he wished with or to Roxas. "May I speak with Axel first?" Xemnas summoned his fiery redhead. The boys would speak in front of him for a few moments. Axel slipped into the office and took his place beside Roxas. "I am to understand you learned something classified this morning, Axel." It was Axel's turn to blush. Xemnas nodded. "That's what I thought. For his disobedience, I have confined Roxas for a week. He will tell you all about it." Roxas turned to Axel. "Standard confinement, one week, Zexion is to be my guardian." For the second time in as many hours, Axel's eyes snapped into focus.
Flames began to spark along the redhead's body. Xemnas stood, strolled around his desk, and closed his hand around Axel's throat. "In exchange for your perpetual silence, Axel, I will forbid Zexion sexual contact with Roxas during this confinement. Consider it a favor that at least for a week, no one but you will have touched Roxas." "Zexion will go for him the moment the confinement ends, and you know it." "He can't hurt Roxas unless it's a punishment." "He'll come up with any excuse and he has enough seniority that he doesn't have to go through you." The flames were getting bigger. Xemnas put his hand back around Axel's throat. Axel was losing control. Xemnas sent a jolt through the younger man that forcibly snuffed the flames. The leader was running out of patience.
"Your silence, Axel?" demanded Xemnas. "I promise, Xemnas. Talk to Zexion. Please." Xemnas released the younger man's throat. He had been expecting Axel to agree, but a promise was something else all together. Xemnas became aware of Axel's big green eyes on him. "I will speak with him, Axel. The two of you have nothing to worry about. Kiss Roxas goodbye and go on now, Axel. My patience is wearing thin." Axel placed a hand on Roxas' cheek. "It will be fine, babe." Roxas just shrugged and kissed him. When they broke, Axel's eyes flicked back to Xemnas. "Thank you, Xemnas. You did not owe either of us a kindness or leniency." Axel was gone before Xemnas could open his mouth. "If I were you, I don't know that I'd be brave enough to start something with him."
"He's learning to be gentler. It's not easy for someone with that much power. If I didn't know better I'd think it would be impossible for you." Xemnas gave a wry smile. "I had to learn, same as Axel." Xemnas summoned Zexion. "Whatever it is, I had nothing to do with it, Xemnas." "I'm sure you didn't, Zexion. Luckily, I only need you for guardian watch. Roxas is confined for a week." Zexion grinned. "I love being a guardian." "You won't after I restrict you." Zexion's grin vanished. "I have heard that you and Roxas have a little bit of history. I want to be perfectly clear that you are not to sexually discipline Roxas. I don't want you doing it during the confinement or anytime after, until I say otherwise. In light of recent circumstances, Roxas; I will allow you to refuse Zexion until further notice."
Zexion's temper flared. "I'm not the one in trouble, Xemnas!" "I have no patience left, Zexion. Do as I say and don't argue with me. There are others you can go after." "Xemnas," Zexion looked at the leader. "I'll make it up to you, Zexion; just do as you're told." Roxas and Zexion left. The week was the longest one Axel had ever lived through. Only seeing Roxas at meals was pointless. Finally, the morning came that Roxas was free. Larxene took the opportunity to taunt Axel and Roxas. "Why is it the only time either of you misses breakfast is when both of you miss it?" Roxas blushed and Axel sneered. "Bite me, Larxene." "Sorry, Axel, I'm pretty sure Roxas already does."