True Intent

It had been three months and twenty days since Spock was cured of his emotional instability. But the cure was not the only positive outcome, for he gained a new friendship. However, a few of his friends were beginning to believe Spock's friendship with T'Mara Victorino has actually developed into a romance.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

McCoy and Jim find a small table in the officer's mess. Jim, as he bites into his ham sandwich, notices McCoy's preoccupation. "Bones, what has your undivided attention?"

Bones has just seen Spock and T'Mara sit down a few tables across from them. T'Mara is smiling as Spock talks to her. Then there it is, Spock's hand covering her hand. His thumb is slowly stroking her hand. McCoy finally turns his head to face Jim. He tilts his head in the direction of Spock and T'Mara. "Look over there Jim. Spock is holding T'Mara's hand."

When Jim casually looks in Spock's direction, Spock's hand is lying next to his plate. Jim shakes his head. "Bones, I think you're imagining things."

McCoy huffs. "Jim, I am telling you, there is something going on between them. Believe me, he was holding her hand. It's not the first time I've seen him show small bits of affection for T'Mara. One day, when he was walking her to her ground car, he took hold of her hand."

Jim glances over at Spock, then back at Bones. "Bones, you know Vulcans are not known for showing physical affection in public."

"And Spock is not your typical Vulcan. Besides, even Sarek has performed the Vulcan hand touch with Amanda, right in front of us."

Jim rolls his eyes. "Alright Bones, you made your point."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The beautiful young woman sitting across from Spock now holds his undivided attention. Spock wonders at his growing fondness for T'Mara. There were times, after they parted ways, when his thoughts only focused on her. Spock now gazes intently into her eyes. "Miss Victorino, I was wondering if you will be available to join me for dinner at my apartment, and a game of three dimensional chess.

T'Mara has enjoyed spending her free time with the Commander. Spock is a true officer and a gentleman. She trusted him whenever they were alone in his apartment or her apartment. He was unlike other males she had dated, for he never expected any sexual favors. She flashes him a bright smile. "Yes, I am free tonight. I would appreciate having dinner with you at your place."

They finish their lunch. Spock walks her out of the building. They say their goodbyes, and then part ways. A young Vulcan male, who is dressed in a Star Fleet uniform, quickly approaches T'Mara. He raises a hand as he attempts to gain her attention. "Excuse me Lieutenant Commander, may I have a moment of your time."

T'Mara turns around to face the young handsome Vulcan. "Uh...sure. I have a few minutes before my next appointment."

"I am Lieutenant Commander Soltan of the USS Lincoln. I have been noticing you at the mess. You are always sharing your midday meal with Commander Spock. Are you close acquaintances?"

T'Mara is amazed by his forward inquiry. But she smiles at the Lieutenant Commander. "I would say we are good friends. By the way, I am Lieutenant Commander T'Mara Victorino."

He is relieved that she did not say they are betrothed. His eyes gleam with hope. "May I walk with you?"

Being kindhearted, she nods. Within a short time, they arrive at the mental health building. He faces her. "Ah, so you are a counselor. An honorable vocation."

"Thank you. Since I was a child, I wanted to help those with mental disabilities."

He almost smiles. "Ah, of course." He exhales. "If you don't mind me saying, you are a very aesthetically pleasing woman."

T'Mara's eyes widen because of his unVulcan-like forwardness. She soon recovers. "Your words are kind. But I really need to go inside."

"Wait. First, the words I speak are true. I am sure Commander Spock has not spoken those words to you. Nevertheless, may I join you for lunch tomorrow?"

Spock had spoken those very words to her just a couple of weeks ago. She keeps that to herself. She steps away from him. "Uh...well, perhaps I can contact Commander Spock to see if you can join us for lunch."

"No!" he sharply replies. He turns around without saying goodbye.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

T'Mara arrives at Spock's apartment at 1800 hours. He allows her inside. Although they have been friends for six months, this is only the third time she has been at his place. When they get together, they usually spent their time in the officer's lounge, in long walks at Golden Gate Park, or at her place.

"Come T'Mara, for our dinner is ready," Spock says.

When they get to the table, Spock pulls out her chair. He then seats himself. T'Mara looks at the meal awaiting them-a Japanese Hibachi Vegetable platter. Spock notices her look of approval. "T'Mara, I know of your fondness for Asian fare. But I cannot take credit for our dinner, for I had it delivered. All I did was put it in the serving dishes."

"I am sure it will be good. After all, you have a flare for choosing excellent restaurants." She begins enjoying her meal.

After the tasty meal, he leaves to retrieve his three dimensional chess board. He places it on the table, then sets the pieces on the chess board. As they play, Spock finds himself becoming distracted by T'Mara's closeness. He has noticed this odd feeling the last three times they played chess. He admits to himself that the feeling is actually pleasing. Despite the distraction, Spock manages to win the game.

After the game, she assists him with clearing everything off the table. As they pass his bedroom, the door is open which allows T'Mara to notice a Vulcan lyre hanging on his bedroom wall. She stops and taps his shoulder. "Spock, you play?" She points to the lyre.

"Yes, T'Mara. My father taught me when I was a child."

Before T'Mara could ask, Spock says, "T'Mara, do you wish me to play you a couple of musical pieces?"

"Oh, yes," she says with a cheerful tone.

He gathers his lyre, and then they sit side by side on the sofa. He first plays an ancient Vulcan tune. Then he plays "Passage into Midnight" by Omar Akram.

T'Mara listens as she watches his fingers pluck the strings. Her eyes sparkle as she looks at him. "Spock, you played that beautifully." She does not question why he chose a romantic classical tune.

"Thank you, I am pleased you enjoyed it."

"Oh yes, I did immensely. Someday I would like to return the favor by playing my guitar for you. Not just play, but sing for you." She ponders why she has never yet shared her talent with him. Perhaps, because she felt singing a love song might embarrass him. She stretches out her arms. "I best call it a night." She stands and he walks her to the door.

Both stop right in front of the door. Now facing each other, he takes hold of her hands. He allows her to sense the emotion he is now feeling for her. "T'Mara I have become very fond of you. Each moment with you, I cherish dearly."

T'Mara's eyes become moist with joy. "Spock, I..."

He places his fingers on her lips for he felt her love for him. He allows a small smile to come onto his face. "T'Mara, you don't have to speak. I know."

"But you just shared the words I sensed from your touch."

He strokes her face. "I did, for you needed to hear them from my lips." He kisses her on her cheek. "Goodnight, T'Mara."

She is overwhelmed by this revelation. She is barely able to keep tears of joy from escaping her eyes. "Goodnight, Spock. Lunch as usual?"

"Yes, T'Mara." His eyes stay on her as she exits the apartment.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A few days later, T'Mara exits the mental health building after her day of counseling. She is about to open the door of her ground vehicle when she senses a presence behind her. She cautiously turns around. She sees Soltan standing inches from her. "Oh my, I did not expect you here. Is there something I can do for you?"

A smile almost creeps onto his face but soon disappears. "Hello, T'Mara."

T'Mara raises her brow. Such informality from a Vulcan? It had taken Spock months before he called her by her first name. Even so, Spock only called her T'Mara in private settings. This man barely knows her and is already on first name basis? "Hello, Lieutenant Commander."

"T'Mara, please call me by my name, Soltan. He steps even closer, for her light fragrant perfume allures him. "T'Mara, I am wondering if you would accompany me to dinner tonight? Perhaps you can recommend a restaurant."

Soltan's self-assertiveness is not to T'Mara's liking. She considers how to turn down his request.

Meanwhile, Spock places his padd in his attaché. His thoughts are on T'Mara. After lunch, Jim Kirk had informed him that he saw Lieutenant Commander Soltan conversing with T'Mara at 19:30 hours, yesterday. He also told him that the Lieutenant Commander was standing close to T'Mara. However, T'Mara seemed uncomfortable. Spock, after his afternoon classes, had pulled up Soltan's public fleet records. Spock learned that Soltan's wife had passed, which meant he was unbonded.

With attaché in hand, Spock exits his office. An unusual nagging feeling comes upon him as he leaves the building. Normally he would ignore anything so nebulous, but this evening he acts upon the feeling. So he heads in the direction where T'Mara parks her car.

Still with Soltan, T'Mara is about to speak when in her peripheral vision, she sees Spock coming towards them. She relaxes and then waves. This causes Soltan to turn. His eyes become like flames of a Vulcan volcano. He clenches his hands. He murmurs an ancient Vulcan curse.

Spock goes right next to T'Mara. "Miss Victorino."

She smiles with relief. "Hello, Commander."

Spock acknowledges Soltan's presence. "Lieutenant Commander Soltan, is it not?"

Soltan gives Spock a wary look. "Correct, Commander Spock." His voice is crisp. "If you do not mind, we were engaged in a private conversation. So please take your leave, Commander."

Spock quickly glances over at T'Mara. Her eyes express uneasiness. "Miss Victorino, is this the case?"

T'Mara eases her way closer to Spock. "Oh, on the contrary, no. I was about to inform the Lieutenant Commander that I will not be available to join him for dinner."

Spock faces the perturbed Vulcan and quickly formulates a plan. Though it is not strictly truthful, he says, "Ah yes, Miss Victorino and I have made plans for tonight. With that being the case, she must take leave of you."

Plans? Realizing that Spock is creating a diversion, T'Mara cocks her brow but remains silent.

Soltan mutters an ancient Vulcan obscenity at Spock. He then strides away from them both.

T'Mara gently fingers Spock's shoulder. "Thank-you. He's rather touchy for a Vulcan. And persistent, too." Seeing there is no one around, she leans to kiss Spock on his cheek.

"Indeed, he was not pleased that I thwarted his attempt to spend time with the lovely Miss Victorino." He faintly smiles at her. "T'Mara, you had better head home to get ready."

She gives him a quizzical look. "Get ready?"

He raises his brow. "Did you forget, T'Mara? I will be taking you to Giovanti's for dinner."

oooooooooooooooooooo

Late Friday afternoon arrives not soon enough for T'Mara. It was a long hard week for her. She says goodbye to her last client. She contacts Uhura to be certain their dinner plans are still on. Spock had introduced T'Mara to Nyota a few weeks ago. They seemed to click from their first meeting. Every other Friday evening, they shared dinner together. This Friday evening they plan to have dinner at Uhura's favorite restaurant, Pacific Catch. The restaurant is located near Golden Gate Park.

T'Mara grabs her purse and commands the lights off. Just as she steps out from her office, she is startled, for Soltan is standing by her door. "Lieutenant Commander…you took me by surprise."

He places a hand on her upper arm. "Hello, T'Mara. Planning on meeting with the Commander?" he says with a tad of contempt. "T'Mara, certainly you are aware, he is not worthy of a woman of your beauty. Look at me, T'Mara. I am younger, more agile, more attractive, and more capable of pleasing you."

T'Mara tries to move away from him, but he counters her every move. She deeply exhales. "First, I have plans with a female friend. I need to leave now, so I will not be late."

He scowls. "Answer me, T'Mara! Am I not more appealing?"

She steps closer to the door. She is hoping to make it inside to contact security, but Soltan grabs both her arms.

"Oh, no you don't," he snarls.

She thinks maybe she can reason with him. Calmly she says, "Do you really want to draw attention? People are watching."

He sees two men looking his way. He gives in to logic. With a low voice only she can hear, he says, "Alright T'Mara, you can go and meet your friend." He realizes if T'Mara does not show up to meet her friend, T'Mara's friend would most likely contact Spock. He walks away from her.

T'Mara scurries to her ground vehicle and drives to the restaurant. There, she tells the hostess who she is dining with. The hostess guides her to Uhura's table.

Nyota notices T'Mara's unsettled expression, and asks, "Are you alright?"

T'Mara takes a sip of her water. She tries to get herself in a more relaxed state. The encounter with Soltan was quite disturbing. He does not behave like any full-blooded Vulcan she had ever met. When she sees Spock later that night, she will ask him about Soltan's odd behavior, and mention her recent encounter. She fronts a smile. "Oh, as I was leaving work, Lieutenant Commander Soltan appeared outside my office. He seems to be pursuing me, but does not understand I have no interest in him.

Nyota gives T'Mara an understanding chuckle. "Oh girl, I have had my share of persistent males. I am surprised; since he is a Vulcan, it is quite unusual. Don't worry yourself over him. He'll get tired and move on to another female."

A waiter interrupts their conversation to take their order.

Uhura decides to get T'Mara's mind off that Vulcan male. "T'Mara, you are one of the few women I've ever seen get hold of Spock's attention. Not just his attention, but I believe he is very fond of you."

T'Mara elects, at the moment, not to divulge the special words Spock shared with her. "I can tell you this Nyota, I love him. I only hope this relationship will last."

The waiter soon returns with their food. T'Mara ordered the crab imperial, while Uhura chose the lobster ravioli. T'Mara indulged in meat, but out of respect for Spock, she would eat vegetarian in his presence.

Uhura says grace for them. Then T'Mara figures it is her turn to ask about someone's love life. "So Nyota, how is your relationship going with Jabori?"

Uhura takes a sip of her red wine. "It's going well. We've been dating for a year now."

"A year already? Any talk of marriage?"

Nyota finishes her bite of ravioli. Their relationship has been moving along quite fine. Nyota wonders if he is ready for a lifelong commitment. "Well T'Mara, all I can say is that I hope he will pop the question, for I'm not one for a long term relationship without promise of marriage."

T'Mara nods as she thinks of Spock and herself. She had learned that his parents did not court long before Sarek asked Amanda to marry him. Will Spock even ask her, or will his commitment to Star Fleet stop him from asking? She has a few work acquaintances that were able to mix marriage along with their careers with Star Fleet. Those who place God first seemed to survive those long separations.

After they finish eating, they just chat about their everyday lives. Both are finally ready to pay their tabs. Then they leave the restaurant. Being early spring, the darkness of night now drapes their surroundings. The lot lights only illuminate the spaces nearest to the building, and it makes T'Mara uneasy.

"See you around campus, T'Mara," Nyota says as she walks to her vehicle.

"Yes, goodnight Nyota." T'Mara hurries to her ground car on the opposite end of the lot. She is about to enter her car when all of a sudden she feels a jab at her side.

"Do not scream. I have this phaser set on kill," a dark voice announces. "Come with me, T'Mara."

She recognizes the haunting voice. It is Soltan. Fearing for her life, she obeys him. He grabs her arm, and with force guides her to his skimmer.

He pushes her inside. He pilots the skimmer to Golden Gate Park. Being that it is now after 9:00 pm, the park is closed. She sees him touch a computer screen. Apparently, he has disabled the park's security system. This way he could land undetected. The skimmer lands at a lot near the Japanese Gardens. He drags her out of the vehicle. The phaser is now poking her in the back. He sneers at her. "I am sure you have been here before, T'Mara. Let me think, perhaps with the Commander himself? Yes, my future bondmate, I have been stalking you. Oh, not every day, but when the opportunity arose. Lovely spot, is it not?"

T'Mara keeps silent. She starts to feel nauseous, for she could hardly believe that a Vulcan is capable of such violence. She takes in a deep breath and begins to struggle hard. She feels his grip tighten around her arm. He forces her to the ground right behind two satsuki azalea bushes. He goes to his knees. Swiftly he pins her down. Since he is a full-blooded Vulcan, she knows she cannot succeed in fighting him. Unfortunately, she never has mastered the Vulcan nerve pinch. Soltan places a hand on her face. His fingers press hard on the side of her upper face. She cannot focus her thoughts. Then a strange feeling arises in her. He is forcing a meld. Anger surges through her. She manages to free a hand and attempts to strike him. "How dare you!"

He is too quick for her. He tightly grasps her hand. "Oh no, my dear. But soon you will be mine."

She lies on the ground, feeling helpless and bewildered. There is no mistaking his intent now. Is he in pon farr? Her father had explained very little about that Vulcan sexual state. She fights Soltan as he rips off her clothes. Then he removes his pants. He forces himself on her. Revolted, she tries to push Soltan off of her with all her strength. "No! I do not belong to you! In fact, I despise you!"

He slaps her face so hard her lower lip splits open. She manages to spit into his face. He then punches her on the side of her face. She becomes woozy but does not lose consciousness. Her strength fails, and he is able to have his way with her.

Spock's time sense informs him it is now 22:30 hours. He had expected T'Mara to drop by at 2100 hours. He calls Uhura. She informs him that they left the restaurant at 19:30 hours. Nyota also told him that she thought she saw T'Mara speaking with a man, but could not make out who. Spock acknowledges Nyota's information with a thank you. He immediately remembers his encounter with Soltan. At the time, it had not occurred to him that Soltan's behavior was more than odd. Now the possibility of pon farr enters Spock's mind. If Soltan is unbonded and desiring T'Mara to be his mate, he could even pressure her to have intercourse with him. Worse yet, rape her, for it was not unheard of. Spock jumps to his feet. He puts on his lightweight coat, then heads out the door.

Spock enters his skimmer. He wonders where Soltan would take her. No doubt, somewhere secluded. If Soltan followed her to the Pacific Catch, he would most likely take her somewhere nearby. The thought of Soltan lying in wait for T'Mara, sends shivers down Spock's spine.

He pilots his skimmer to Golden Gate Park. He lowers the skimmer, so he could scan the park. In his peripheral vision he spots a gray skimmer parked all alone in the lot. Spock lands near the gray vehicle. Spock picks up his tricorder and slowly exits his vehicle. He approaches the skimmer with caution. His tricorder gives indications that one Vulcan and one Vulcan hybrid had recently been present inside the vehicle. Moving on, Spock walks into the gardens, scanning the area with his tricorder. It begins to detect two Vulcans readings ahead of him. Spock stops as rage envelops him, for he fears that Soltan is raping T'Mara. He must control himself and not react foolishly. Any wrong move could cause Soltan to kill T'Mara.

Spock pulls out his phone. He sends an emergency message to the San Francisco police. The message would inform the police who is in the gardens, and their global position. Spock only hopes the police will beam in instead of arriving by squad vehicles. The noise of several vehicles might alert Soltan. One under the influence of the Fever could react irrationally, putting all in jeopardy. Spock continues to walk softly in their direction. He certainly does not wish to alert Soltan.

T'Mara lies weeping as Soltan strokes her upper body. She begins to shiver, not just from the crisp air, but from shock. Will Soltan kill her? She tilts her head slightly to one side, thinking she hears footsteps. Then there is a humming sound. Solton grabs his phaser, for he recognizes the sound of transporter beams. He points the weapon directly at T'Mara. Five uniformed men finish materializing nearby, with phaser rifles drawn.

"Put the phaser down!" an officer yells out.

Another yells, "It is not worth it. Drop your weapon!"

Soltan keeps his eyes on T'Mara. Her eyes widen as she sees his finger starting to press on the trigger. Then unexpectedly he turns the phaser on himself.

One officer screams out, "No!"

Ignoring all, Soltan squeeze the trigger. T'Mara cries out as she witnesses him being vaporized. Spock flinches, as he too witnesses Soltan's end. Seeing T'Mara's nakedness, Spock removes his coat. He kneels beside her. He gently covers her with his coat. The police gather Soltan's belongings. One officer contacts emergency services to have a medic tend to T'Mara. As Spock holds T'Mara close to him, he senses something stirring within her. At that moment, Spock becomes aware that Soltan's pon farr was beginning to infect her. Spock is grateful that Soltan had taken his own life, for he would have been quite willing and able to kill Soltan.

oooooooooooooooooo

Spock arrives at Star Fleet Medical Center. He had already requested that Dr. McCoy would tend to T'Mara. Spock soon learns that she is in emergency room four. When he arrives, the door is secured. His anger still eats at him. Irrational anger against a man who no longer lives. He must find a way to master this rage. He begins pacing up and down the corridor. He has just passed the emergency room door 17.5 times. This is futile he thinks, so he heads to the waiting area. To his relief, the area is free of people. He peers out the main large window. He ponders if there was a way he could have prevented her from being raped. Obviously, Soltan had been stalking her or even both of them. Like most Vulcans, Soltan was most clever with his tactics. Even Spock was unaware of anyone monitoring his and T'Mara's whereabouts. He curses himself for assuming that Soltan was merely a bothersome male seeking T'Mara's affection. He wonders how many times she had encountered the Vulcan, and not told him. Might she have feared that he would become jealous of Soltan…or blame her for enticing the man?

After an hour, McCoy enters the waiting area. He notices Spock staring out the window. He taps Spock's shoulder. Spock's body tenses but soon relaxes as he becomes aware of McCoy's presence.

"Leonard, how is she?" He is still facing the window with his hands clasped behind his back.

McCoy senses his friend's pain. Compassionately he says, "She suffered a broken cheek bone, which we mended with a bone fuser. All her other wounds were superficial. So physically she is alright. She is resting. I've placed orders to keep her at the med center for a couple of days. Just for observation purposes."

Spock finally turns around to face the doctor.

McCoy continues, "She was not physically tortured." There is one thing he needs to ask Spock because of her high adrenaline readings. However, it deals with a topic Vulcans did not like to discuss, even amongst themselves. McCoy studies his disquieted friend. Spock must truly love T'Mara. Leonard lays his hand on Spock's upper arm. "Spock, I have a question that you might find uncomfortable. It is for medical purposes."

Spock's voice is grim. "You need to learn if T'Mara has entered pon farr? I suspect so." Then through his teeth he adds, "Soltan's…touch…likely induced it."

McCoy is astonished. "Spock, I was not aware that is possible."

Spock hangs his head. He feels his cheeks becoming flushed. "An unbonded male who is suffering the Fever will mind-touch a willing female of his choosing or, as in T'Mara's case, any tactile contact might…spread the Fever…to his victim," he says almost inaudibly.

McCoy now becomes enraged. "That green-blooded bastard!" He slowly regains control. "I'm sorry Spock."

Spock acknowledges his statement by just nodding, for he feels his hatred of Soltan returning to him.

McCoy sighs. "Alright, Spock. That being the case, I'll inject her with a hormone balancing agent. It will help the symptoms subside. You'll need to give her some time, for she is scarred psychologically. I'm going to place her on medical leave and recommend a counselor."

"Yes Leonard, patience is the key when someone has suffered such a horrific event. But do you know how long she will be on leave?"

"It will be up to her counselor."

Spock responds to his friend's answer with a nod.

McCoy's medical padd begins to beep. He pulls it out from his lab coat pocket. "Ah, she is in her room, Spock. You can go up to visit her, although she probably is asleep."

Hearing this, Spock just turns and leaves McCoy without a further word.

The noise of the door swooshing open does not cause T'Mara to wake up. Spock quietly moves to the side of her bed. He just stands by her bedside. Then he notices her eyes slowly beginning to open. He assumes his nearness is causing her to wake up. Even in sleep, a Vulcan's mind can sense others that are near them. Especially ones who have shared minds. As of late, his relationship with T'Mara has grown quite harmonious.

With both eyes now wide open, she says, "Spock!" She voice commands her bed to go to an upright position. Her hand finds his hand. "Oh, I knew you would be the one to rescue me."

With her touch, her strong feelings surge into him. "Rescue you? No T'Mara, I did not arrive in time to stop him. I…failed you."

She does not understand why he is blaming himself. "Spock, there was no way you could have known what Soltan was planning.

"I am a Star Fleet officer who serves on the finest ship of the fleet. I should have become aware that something was amiss. I should have had him investigated." His voice wavers. "As a Vulcan, I should have seen he was suffering from the Fever."

She wishes she could just scream. Not at Spock, but to release her anger. That gutless man not only caused her pain, but also to the one she loves. "No. On what grounds could you have had him investigated? You, of all people know you would've needed probable cause. Spock, you only talked to him once. How could you have reached such a conclusion after that brief meeting? There are full-blooded Vulcans that choose not to adhere to the teachings of Surak."

Spock's dark eyes are now smiling at her. "Oh, my wise friend, you are correct." He decides to roll a chair by her bed. He then seats himself.

"Spock, can you do me a favor?"

"What is it, T'Mara?"

With deep want, she says, "Hold me."

Without a word, he gently holds her to him. Then unexpectedly her lips passionately meet his, but he does not pull away. Though he is aware she is suffering from pon farr, he returns her kiss. He kisses her again, tenderly. He gently releases her. "T'Mara, you need to rest. I will return tomorrow, later in the day."

"Alright, Spock." Her voice holds disappointment, for she wants him to stay. Her sad eyes watch him leave.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Three weeks have gone by, and T'Mara has been given permission by her counselor, Dr. Carly Evergreene, to return to her counseling duties on a part-time basis. T'Mara chose Dr. Evergreene because she is a Christian counselor. Not only has she helped T'Mara deal with the rape, but she gets T'Mara to focus on the true Counselor, Jesus. Evergreene advised T'Mara that only God could help her with such deep pain.

T'Mara is pleased to be counseling again, for it helps keep her mind off her emotional scars. Her friendship with Spock has also helped her survived the haunting memories of the rape. Now their friendship has flourished into a deep romantic love.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

T'Mara opens her door to allow Spock into her apartment. He greets her with a kiss on the lips. She smiles with fondness. "Hello, my love."

In the bright light, he notices her haggard appearance. "T'Mara, are you feeling alright? You appear a bit peaked."

She places a hand on his chest. "Don't worry, I'm alright. It's been a long day. Having you here has already lifted my spirits. Come now, dinner is ready."

He follows her to the dining area and they settle into their chairs. She commands the light to dim. She then lights a candle that sits in the center of the table. She pours Fre White Zinfandel into their glasses. She holds out her hand, and he takes hold of it. She blesses the food. This evening, she has prepared Butternut Squash Farinata and Arugula salad with Pomegranate Vinaigrette. She waits for Spock to take a couple of bites. "Well, is it good? It was my first time fixing this recipe."

"T'Mara, the salad is excellent." He tastes the main dish. "Ah, Butternut Squash Farinata. It is quite pleasing to my palate."

After their meal and game of three dimensional chess, they settle on the sofa. They begin to exchange some tender kisses. T'Mara starts to run her hand under his shirt. With a sultry voice she asks of him, "Spock, please make love to me."

Spock is taken aback by her request. He has been aware of her wish to remain celibate until she marries. He wonders, despite the fact that McCoy gave her those hormonal reduction injections, if she is still suffering from pon farr. He clears his throat. "T'Mara, what of your belief that you hold so dear? No relations until marriage?"

She unfastens his shirt. Now her hand fingers his hairy chest. "Please."

He gently takes hold of her hand. "T'Mara, you truly wished to wait until the proper time."

She lays her head on his shoulder. "Why? I'm no longer a virgin. So why can't we enjoy ourselves?"

He knows if they have relations, she will regret it. "T'Mara, are you really not a virgin? Yes, physically you are not, but since you were forced to have relations, would your God not still see you as virgin? And regardless of that fact, you have told me that you consider premarital sex a sin."

She gazes into his caring eyes. "Now you are beginning to sound like my counselor. But you're right. If we went too far, I probably would regret it." She snuggles up against him.

He strokes her cheek. "T'Mara, I want you to know this is not a rejection. Believe me, your closeness does makes me yearn for an even deeper relationship." He refastens his shirt. "But this is not the proper time, or the place.

She kisses him in a way clearly meant to stir his passion.

Withdrawing from the contact, he says, "No, T'Mara." He stands and then helps her up. "Goodnight."

She grips his shirt sleeve. "You're leaving me so soon? I need you to stay by me a little longer." Her voice reveals her hurt.

He gently takes hold of her hand. "My aisha, I cannot verbalize what you mean to me." Feeling her relaxing, he adds, "With your permission, I will come by in the morning and escort you to the officer's lounge."

She wraps her arms behind his neck. She kisses him tenderly. "Goodnight, my sweet."

oooooooooooooooooooooo

It had been a couple of weeks since T'Mara first kissed Spock. She needed to cancel last's week's dinner date, for all that day she could not keep anything down. Yesterday morning she thought she was going to faint when she entered her office. Today she has an early appointment with Dr. McCoy.

She enters his office and is soon greeted by a nurse."The doctor will be able to see you in a few minutes."

T'Mara sits on a chair in the reception area. She pulls out her padd and reads a psychiatric journal to keep her mind off her ailment. Finally, it is her turn to see her newly acquired friend, Dr. McCoy. She found him very compassionate. McCoy addresses T'Mara with his usual southern charm. She lies down on the examination bed. He sets the monitor for Vulcan norm. He calls the nurse over to the monitor. He points at the screen. She nods with recognition. She leaves the room.

Turning to face T'Mara, McCoy gently says, "You can sit up, now."

T'Mara feels a bit of trepidation as she asks, "Dr. McCoy, please, what is wrong with me?

Normally the news he needs to tell her would be welcomed, but in her case it is will be unpleasant. His eyes are full of compassion. "T'Mara...you're pregnant. You are 33 days along. I am sorry."

T'Mara's mind reels. She feels like her life is coming to an end. Hugging herself tightly, she begins to tremble. "Oh, I've been so afraid. I was hoping I was wrong."

"T'Mara if you wish, I can perform..."

She knows what he is about to offer, but could she even consider it? "Doctor, an abortion?" She is sorely tempted to rid herself of Soltan's baby and never be reminded of the hideous man. But wait, what is inside her is life. Life created by God. She quickly waves her hands in front of her as she says, "No, I can't. I just can't. But I really don't what I am going to do." She sobs.

McCoy holds her till she regains her control. "T'Mara, I think you need to talk to someone. Perhaps you should contact Spock."

She releases a deep breath before saying, "Yes, I am going to call him as soon as I return to my office."

He taps her shoulder. "Oh, by the way, in case you want to know, you are having a girl."

"A girl," she mutters. She then thinks, oh Lord, please do not have her share Soltan's looks. Slowly she gets to her feet.

"T'Mara, before leaving, make sure the nurse gives you your prenatal vitamins and medicine to ease your morning sickness. Remember I'm your friend, so if you need anything, contact me."

"Thank you Leonard," T'Mara says as she walks out of the room.

As soon as she arrives at her office, she contacts Spock. Struggling to conceal her despair, she asks, "Are you free this evening?"

He knew she had an appointment with the doctor. Concerned he asks, "Are you well? Did Dr. McCoy discovered what was making you ill?"

"I'm managing. Yes, Dr. McCoy found the problem…but I can't speak of it here. Please, may I come over tonight?"

Spock could only think the diagnosis was serious if T'Mara needed to speak to him in private. For her sake, he conceals his concern. "Yes, of course T'Mara, you can come by at 19:30 hours."

ooooooooooooooooooo

When she arrives, Spock notices her tense appearance. They sit side by side on the sofa. He offers her a cup of tea, which she gladly accepts. "T'Mara, please share with me what has you so disturbed."

Disturbed? she thinks. More like overwhelmed, for in nine months she will become a mother of a rapist's child. She takes a sip of her tea before answering. "Oh, Spock," she sniffles. "It's terrible. I...I 'm pregnant." She sucks in a breath. "Pregnant with that bastard's baby daughter"

The possibility had crossed his mind a few weeks ago, but he has hoped he was in error. He gently pulls her to him. When he touches her, he becomes overcome by her strong emotions -anger, fear, guilt, and indecision. "T'Mara, this is regrettable." He puts his arm around her. "This will not change our relationship. I cherish you now, as I have before this news." He feels a twinge of guilt, for he would have liked to say "I love you". He has never even told his mother those same words. It is in these moments he regrets choosing the Vulcan way.

T'Mara finally gazes directly into his dark, discerning eyes. "Spock, how can I give birth to a child that will remind of the rapist? What if she takes on his looks? How can I love her when she will always remind of Soltan? But I have counseled women who have had abortions. They suffer from so much guilt. Oh, what shall I do?"

"T'Mara, as Vulcans we cherish life. You, as a Christian, also cherish life."

"Yes I do, and I believe life begins at conception. Spock, I can't have her aborted, but can I love her?" She lays her head on his shoulder.

He holds her for a few moments before speaking. He wipes away the tears on her cheeks. "T'Mara, you will not be alone in this. If you need anything, please contact me. I believe that when the infant is placed into your arms, you will find room in your heart to love that baby girl." He draws her back into a hug, and no other words are needed, for she feels all his love for her.