Title: Three Things
Rating: G
Spoilers for pilot, I guess.
Gen, pre-series story. Dean's POV a few months after the fire.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Supernatural or the Winchesters, no matter how much I may want to.
Author's Note: This is my first Supernatural story. It's just a little thing (under 500 words) that's probably been done a hundred times, but I just couldn't get it out of my head.
There are three things Dean knows.
The first is that Mommy is gone, forever. He knows this, knows it, but sometimes he smells her and forgets, just for a little, and after, all he smells is smoke.
The second is that Daddy is very, very sad. So sad that his eyes always look like Sammy's when he needs his diaper changed or he's real sleepy or he doesn't feel good. Daddy's face is scratchy when Dean touches it and he lets Dean sleep with him whenever he wants and doesn't make him feel like a baby for it. And sometimes Daddy's shoulders and back shake so hard that Dean's afraid his head will fall off. He doesn't like it when that happens, it makes his tummy hurt, and Dean wishes there was some kind of owie he could kiss away like Mommy used to do for him. Even if it's girlie. But it doesn't matter because Dean's looked and he just can't find one anywhere. It scares him that there are some owies that you just can't see. Because if you can't see it, how do you make it better?
The third and most important thing Dean knows is that Sammy won't remember. He won't remember Mommy's long hair just like Goldilocks'. He won't remember the songs she'd sing to them, not just "Twinkle, Twinkle," or that spider one, but real cool songs that Daddy listened to and Mommy just couldn't get out of her head. The ones Mommy played loud on the radio while she sat on the kitchen floor with them, banging on Tupperware and drumming like a big-haired man from the TV and not a mommy.
But there are other things Sammy won't remember that Dean will never forget. He won't remember how Dean had run down the stairs with Sammy in his arms, something Mommy had told him never, ever to do, but the fire was hot and his eyes were all fuzzy and Mommy and Daddy were still inside. He won't remember how Daddy came out without Mommy and picked them up and ran away from the fire, from home, from Mommy. And he won't remember that Dean had lied, had told Sammy it was okay, when nothing was.
There are lots of things Sammy won't remember because he's just a baby and can't talk yet and still uses his butt to move instead of his legs. But Dean promises to tell him all about the good things he won't remember and nothing about the bad, if he can help it. And he'll lie if he has to just in case somewhere in that baby mind Sammy knows and can remember. He doesn't want him to remember.
There are three things Dean knows and they scare him more than all the things he doesn't.