Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any of the characters that are brought up in this fan fiction they are under the strict ownership of Disney and Square Enix. Everything of this story is purely fan written.

Author Note: This was originally started as a way to clear my head from just a rough patch I was going through in my own general life that only my friends were aware of in regards to a particular Convention I feel I may still be incapable of attending due to various personal reasons. This story may seem purely depressing and angst filled, but, it was the only form of therapy to get my mind off the angst in my life and the emo butt I was being due to it. Please enjoy this fan fiction this is going to be an on running story until it is finally finished.

Please read and review.

Chapter 1: From the Start of Everything

Growing up, the tides have always been something your parents told you to be wary of; they were powerful currents that could pull even the must wary and ever watchful person out to the deepest parts of the ocean. No one ever said that when they come, they come in softly, ever creeping gracefully coming in and moving into your ever part of your self being and mind, and then without warning…leave.

Leave as if they never existed in your life, hurting you more then you were hurt before they enter your life. That's what Axel was, a wavering tide that had come in with a soft lofting to his entrance to enter Roxas' life. When he thought everything was fine, and he wasn't needed anymore, more like, Roxas had made it known he didn't want what Axel had to give as way of more then friendship towards him; he was gone from his life.

Life had been hard for Roxas, but after Axel had entered it; he felt he could put down his emotional barriers that barred others from entering and truly open up to others. In the end, it was nothing but a fleeting chance dream; everyone around Roxas knew what he had been going through before Axel, but as they saw the change he had created in Roxas. They all hoped it would last, but when he left and a scene was caused one of the biggest events of the school year; it was made clear. It was over. They were over. All that Axel had worked to fix in Roxas' life. Was over, and no one, not even those closest to Roxas could fix it. If only if it hadn't happened to him; things would be more contently happy in his life.

The day was the fleeting last days of their senior year, it was suppose to be the days of rejoicing that they had all managed to make it through 4 years of High School, through all the ups and downs of it. Everyone was among their own groups, Roxas was with; Olette, Pence, and Hayner, but something about Roxas' demeanor, it just seemed, to hide a silver lining that the image he had portrayed all these years, no matter how changed it had changed, it was shattered inside. All it was going to take now was for someone to push him to that one fleeting step over the edge, to make him snap. Little did anyone know; it was coming, and there was no coming back from that edge at this point the damage was done.

"Come on Roxas, this is the last video project I'll get to make before we Graduate, so, come on, don't you have a few words for the people?" the video camera moved about the blonde as he sat watching a sight before him, oblivious to the slightly chubby faced teen with the camera in his hands, "Roxas?"

What was it that made him so oblivious to the world around him, how had he come to know these people around him; a slightly short tempered blonde with a stubborn streak as long as three football fields, a short haired brunette who seemed to want to make sure that those around her succeeded, and a guy who had an interest in the Film and Video Club. Why were they brought together like they had?
"Yo, Roxas, Earth to Roxas from the Planet Twilight High, you are being summoned back to Earth," there came a slight rap to the distance eyed blonde as his hand reached out, jerked the blonde's hand and arm up behind his back as he seethed into his ear.

"I'll answer you, when I'm good and ready to, alright?" the cerulean blue eyed blonde's jaw was set tight as he could feel the boy's breath hitching in every inch of his being as he lightly seethed through his own teeth, "Got it?"

The blonde lightly nodded as he felt the other blonde release him as the trio watched the boy leave, a trash can was left tipped over in his wake of raging anger. Lately, no one could tell why he was angry as he was; there had been several dips, bobs, weaves, twists, and turns in the rollercoaster of the boy's life. A redhead had entered his life at the start of it all, just when his life couldn't handle anymore passengers, he had ridden the horrendous ride out with him, but when it go too scary, what does most people do?

"…That bastard…enters my life as quickly as the wind and leaves as quickly as a bee sting…I hate him…I hate that miserable son of a bitch, I hope you're happy. You've gone and left me alone when I need you, thanks a lot you jackass," his words were mumbled, angrily seething as he picked up a trash can and chucked it a row of Lockers, "YOU SON OF A BITCH! AXEL YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!? I LOVED YOU! I LOVED YOU, YOU MISERABLE, UNGRATEFUL, SON OF A BITCH!"

The Quad fell into a hush as the boy fell to his knees, shoulders shaking, sobs softly leaving his body's core as he pounded both fists into the walkway, the sickening crunch of flesh, blood, and muscle, colliding with that cemented floor was sickening to the ears. Campus faculty was notified as Campus Security was called out.

"Come on kid, let's go," the guard attempted to help him up, but at this point, no one could save him from the Hell he had begun to spiral into.

"…Piss off," his words seethed from his clenched teeth as he elbowed the man away from him as he headed for the school's entrance.

Silence turned to shocked awed faces and words softly uttered between combined lunch groups as they watched him leave, the Guard proceeded to follow him to stop him, but a pair of eyes watching from the Front Office gave a sense of security. Hazel eyes that were steely and hard, that hid a sense of soft remorse for the boy; he had too many times watch him fall, this time, it was time to do something.

"Roxas…Why do you hate the world so…we only want to help; he might be gone, but…you can't give up on everyone that comes along in your life, I know…" the Principal took his fingers away from the blinds as he turned to his desk; it had placed upon it a photo frame of a young man beside a woman, her hair as black as a raven, "…Its hard to let others in after we've lost sight of others…especially when others try to enter and help us."

The gates of the school closed quietly behind the blonde as they seemed to close like a death march behind him as he fell to his knees once more holding his faintly bloody hands. His eyes and gaze turned to the skies, the face's opening of which words came from opened, for a few moments, there wasn't any words just faint gasps until, something uttered forward.

"AXEL!" his cry went out into the dawning skies above him as his face became stained with soft tears as their tracks created their way down his soft, pale cheeks.

What had caused all this to happen? Why had it all come to this? How did Axel come to enter this equation to be the common denominator of this boy's pain? Pain, it has no common start and no end, no common element as to why it happens, it just comes; comes without warning, without difference between who it hurts. It comes in like a tide, and leaves out as soon as its run its course.

"…Axel…why…WHY…" the boy's sobs were unbearable as he fell to his face and buried his head around his arms, "…Why did you leave me like this? I needed you still and you left me…Please, why did you leave me?"

When we are born, we are considered innocent, our minds are capable of being molded to how our surroundings and people in our lives lead us, teach us, and grow us up in. We all live by a Hierarchy of needs, it may seem psychological in its meaning, but, it's always been that way. Our lives aren't always perfect when enter the world, Roxas gained that crash course when he was only hours old; amongst the sounds of screams for her to push, the pain she was enduring by the sedative to ease the pains, these were but the first sounds his innocent ears would hear.

"So where's the bastard?" the sound of a lighter clicking shut as the words were muffled spoken as a soft stream of smoke filled the delivery room, "Where's my bastard grandson?"

"Ma'am, we can't allow you to smoke in here," the words were soft, caring, and delicate to the ears of the child in the arms of the attending Nurse.

With a grunted huff, the cancer stick was put out as she fished about for a differing object to curve her less then salty demeanor; her eyes gazed over her exhausted, drugged daughter, "You know this is your own damn fault; I told you the idiot was bad news and do you listen? No, you are an adult, you are so far more superior then your own Mother, well, I hope you and that bastard you call a son are happy."

His soft cries filled the room as he was taken to the Nursery while Mother and Daughter fought back and forth; it was a path that they would take many times, well over several years over the course of the child's life. The Nurse who held the babe in her arms, she attended to the young babe as she softly laid him to sleep in a Nursery bed.

"…I have but one little request for you, I do this for all the newborn's I care for while they are…I have this request…I want you, to grow up and become a good man. Don't let anything of this world get to you, never push away anyone and everyone who attempts to help you when you fall…Could you do that for me?" her smile was soft and sweet; her brunette hair seemed to hang down as she let her finger be curled by the soft babe's tiny fingers.

"Nurse Gainsborough, you are needed at the Admitting Station," the fleeting moment of gentle peace brought by this woman's voice was broken as her slender finger slid out of the babe's grip.

This would be the only peace and most gentle words he would ever hear in his life, from this point on, he was born into a life where Status was the only thing that had mattered to the woman who would be his Grandmother. His father had been a man who was only passing through and for a fleeting moment had given his mother the feeling that they were truly in loved. They had planned to wed, but when something came up, he ran, he ran leaving a girl pregnant and alone, as well being forced to endure her upscale mother.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

"FINE, YOU WANT THAT? YOU WON'T SEE ME EVER AGAIN, THAT BASTARD WILL NEVER SEE A CENT OF ANY INHERITANCE I WOULD HAVE LEFT HIM!"

It was beginning, a beginning of an end that was ended before he was even born; scorned love affair filled with deep resentment. The years drifted by and even without the blessing of her mother, the young woman proceeded to have her son christened at the local Church. A short number of friends and family that still cared for her well being as well as the child's, were the only ones to attend the ceremony; she was given a chance to redeem herself for in her own father's eyes, she could do no wrong. The path for the child to grow up in the path that kind hearted Nurse had wished for him seemed to be working in his favor.

As quickly as such things come about, they just as quickly leave our lives; in the next three years, resentment, anger, distrust, words of anger and distaste arose in the now and again arguments between the mother and daughter. Why had God allowed such a life for this child? Even after entering Kindergarten, he thought that question over.

"Children, I want you to meet Roxas, he's new here, so make him feel comfortable," Mrs. Thorndike seemed to be an understanding person; she reminded Roxas of the kind Nurse who had cared for him when he was born.

"Hi Roxas, I'm Olette, that's Pence and Hayner," the brunette's face seemed to be bright and cheerful.

Pence seemed content to be taking pictures with the toy camera he could always be found carrying around, from Kindergarten to even where ever he went with his family; Hayner was a complete opposite, he was always leering at a slightly older by a few months boy.

"Poopie face Seifer, thinks he's cool," Hayner seemed resentful towards the older boy and his friends because he had never forgiven Seifer for the time in Preschool when during nap time, Seifer decided to stick the boy's hands in warm water, and draw on his face.

"Come on, Hayner, Seifer may be a poopie head, but you are better then him," Pence was busy taking make believe photos with his camera as he pushed up the oversized sweat band on his head, "I know you'll be a cooler guy then he is sooner or later."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll beat that poopie head and then he'll have to be a better guy to me," Hayner struck a mock pose as Olette and Pence fell down laughing; Roxas felt a little out of place, but he couldn't help but chuckle a little.

Kindergarten, or school for that matter seemed to be the only place he could seek refuge from home, coming home to his mom was something he never looked forward to; she had made attempts to get a job through her families connections, but even after she started, it would fall through. It became apparent after several years, long after Roxas had enter Junior High, that the reason his mom would lose her job was either due to not being able to get along with others, or she would find a guy to latch onto, only to find out he was either; gay, married, engaged, dating, or just plain not interested.

"Hey Roxas, come eat snack over here with us," Olette waved him over, but even with every first time of starting school, there is going to be the one common denominator of ruining a person's life, the class or even school bully.

"Oops, better watch your step next time goldilocks," the sneer voice of Seifer scoffed as he walked off to eat snack.

"Seifer, you are a big poopie head!" Hayner's words caught the 4 and 5 year olds of the Kindergarten class off guard as well as the teacher.

The unanimous "Oooo, you said a bad word" could be heard throughout the classroom, "What was that goldilocks?"

Hayner knew he had gotten in over his head this time, and even as his little knees knocked; his heart was racing and as he looked for a way to get away, there was another voice that broke the silence, "Poopie head, Seifer!"

"Roxas…" Olette's voice was soft to a whisper as she tried to stop him, but there was no stopping him as he continued the chant on and on, even as Seifer made his way towards Roxas.

"So, you were the one," Seifer would've struck him, but the Teacher stopped them.

"And you are one of the two whose getting put in time out without snack, come on you two, you too, Roxas," Mrs. Thorndike pulled Seifer along by his wrist as Roxas solemnly got up and followed her; Hayner mouthed to him a faint 'Thank you' as Roxas went to the corner.