So I'm finally done with uni for 'summer' (3 weeks). My essay is done (and I passed my presentation) and my flat has finally got wifi again. So here's something I thought of during one of my boring lectures and I just had to follow through. Hope you enjoy, I'm on tumblr cornerofwhittlestreet if anyone wants to say hello! Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!
Why was she doing this? Patsy Mount had asked herself this question more times today than she could count. In the last week she'd said it more than she had in her entire life. Yet she still didn't have an answer. She was being ridiculous. She should leave and be anywhere but here. She knew better than to be doing this but here she was anyway. Why on earth was she doing this? Why did she agree to this?
She thought back to how it all started around a month ago. The main culprit for this was of course Trixie. Who else would it be? It was all an innocent drunken joke, at the time. Trixie had convinced her to get tinder for a laugh when they were all wasted. I mean tinder of all things, you idiot. Even though it was Patsy's account it was Trixie that was doing the majority of the swiping, apparently Patsy was reading far too much into it. And of course Trixie set the damned thing up so naturally it was set to interested in men. So the next day Patsy deleted it. Or that's what she told Trixie.
She changed her distance setting to as far away as possible so that hopefully no one she knew would ever find her or vice versa and as little information as possible was up about herself. Her first photo was a group photo of her and her flatmates and the second was a selfie that looked far too confident to be the real her. The confident photo was as confident move as the red head was already terrified of someone finding her on the stupid app. Most importantly she changed it to interested in women and unmatched all the males from the night before.
Once Patsy had finally set the wretched app up she lost all her previous confidence and was too afraid to swipe anyone. She hid the app in a folder and tried her hardest to forget about it, or at least not cringe so obviously when she did think about it. It wasn't until around a week later when she was bored and fiddling on her phone that she next went on to the app. And there was a lot more swipes left than she'd like to admit. Then she made sure to turn off all notifications as there was no way Patsy was letting Trixie in on any of this.
It was yet another week until she was both bored and brave enough to venture back onto the despicable app. She'd made 11 matches and had 2 messages. One message was clearly someone just looking for a hook up that was quickly unmatched. The other was a simple 'hey x'. Delia, 20. Welsh, living in London for work #nurselife. Love days off, reading and dancing.
Patsy couldn't deny it, she thought this girl was unbelievably cute. The most beautiful blue eyes that looked like they could out sparkle the stars. Lovely dark hair that was styled with an adorable fringe and the most charming smile Patsy had ever seen. Okay she was smitten. And it was tinder. What was she playing at? Take a chill pill and relax. Just send a simple reply. Stop reading into this so much.
Patsy: Hey x
Now she just had to remember to check the app more regularly since she still refused to allow any notifications come onto her screen. It would probably make things easier if she turned the notifications back on but the thought of another girl's name coming up as a tinder notification was too worrying. She would tell Trixie eventually but not yet, soon but not yet. She went to make herself a cup of Horlicks and purposely left her phone in her room. By the time she returned to her room she was quite excited to check her phone.
Delia: I don't want to be rude or blunt but I've got to know…
Delia: Is Patsy short for Patricia or Patience?
Patsy couldn't help but laugh at how random this stranger had been. And how easy and natural it felt to reply to her.
Patsy: It's Patience I'm afraid, my parents were awfully old fashioned :)
Now she had no idea how to distract herself. Although even if Delia did reply how long should she wait before replying back. She didn't want to seem too keen but also didn't want to make this stranger wait ages for a reply. Although Delia was replying rather quickly so surely Patsy could too?
Delia: A beautiful name for a beautiful woman :)
Delia: Up to anything exciting?
Patsy had an option here. She could answer truthfully and have a normal conversation or she could get her flirt on. She just didn't know which one to choose. Neutral or flirt. Neutral or flirt. Fuck it. Neutral is heads, flirt is tails. Patsy spun the coin as high as she could and let it hit the floor. This gave her more time to build up the courage to look at the way it had landed. She would face up to whichever way the coin landed. Finally, she peaked and found her answer. Tails. Flirt.
Patsy: Nothing could be more exciting than talking to you, you up to anything exciting? :)
Patsy stared at the message for a few minutes before building the courage to hit the send button. Part of her felt rather proud of herself for being able to send the message while the other half was absolutely petrified she'd even considered it. What the fuck had she just done?! She should destroy the app now before she humiliated herself anymore.
Delia: *monkey covering eyes emoji* now you're just trying to make yourself even cuter. I'm binge watching season 12 of grey's anatomy
Patsy: Ooo I love grey's!
Delia: Who's your favourite character?
Delia: And remember, there is definitely right and wrong answers!
Patsy: It's got to be Callie! Who's your favourite? Don't worry, I won't judge you too much if you're wrong :)
Patsy had no idea where all this confidence was coming from but somehow she was flirting and teasing this absolute stranger. She would never have the courage to do any of this in real life and she had no idea where it was all coming from now.
Delia: I'm always torn between April and Arizona! No one can top them!
Patsy: Oh come on! Arizona? How can your favourite be 'a good man in a storm' who then cheats on her wife, in a storm!
Patsy: And April? I don't even know what to say about that…
Delia: What makes Callie so much better than Arizona? And what can I say, I've always had a thing for redheads ;)
That was flirting right? Delia definitely just flirted with her? It wasn't even discreet. It's a dating app, of course it was flirting, don't be foolish. Just take it in your stride and don't even react to it.
Patsy: What doesn't make Callie so much better than Arizona? I suppose now she's left I'll need a new favourite for season 13
Patsy: Plus you can't pray away the gay is quite possibly my favourite quote ever
Delia: Callie leaves?!
Fuck. Shit. Fuck fuck fuck. You utter arsehole Patience Mount, you bloody idiot. Just be serious and apologise.
Patsy: Omg I'm so sorry! I forgot you said you were binge watching it, I didn't even think that you might not know. I'm so sorry!
Delia: *laughing emoji*
Delia: I'm kidding Patsy! That spoiler was pretty hard to miss no matter how hard I tried! I just prefer to binge watch the entire season rather than wait for a new episode every week, so who's your second favourite since Callie's left?
They continued to talk about anything and everything for the next week with Delia flirting whenever she could and Patsy whenever she felt confident enough. Or that one night she was really drunk and everything she said was flirty… but she's tried to push that memory out of her mind. Trixie had started to notice something was up since Patsy was never off of her phone and there was usually a smile plastered to her face at the same time.
'Who is he?' Trixie whispered to Patsy. Trixie knew if she was to get any information out of Patsy alcohol was the best way in. Which was why Patsy ended up slightly more than tipsy on a Wednesday night, that and they both had the Thursday off.
'Who's who Trix?' Keep calm Patsy, she's just teasing. She doesn't really know.
'Don't you keep secrets from me Patience Elizabeth Mouth, it is written all over your face. For the past few days every time you've picked up your phone you get this secretive little smile across your face. And you've barely put your phone down at that. So spill!' Trixie was definitely teasing. Patsy could see Trixie try to keep a strict face but she succumbed to the giggling too quickly.
'Honestly Trixie, it's nothing' Patsy smiled sweetly hoping to change the conversation but Trixie was too quick.
'If it is nothing, that means there's still an it you're texting, whether it means nothing or not.' Patsy couldn't help the death stare that came across her face and Trixie couldn't help but see it. Trixie got up and sat next to Patsy, leaning her head on the taller girl's shoulder. 'Okay, I get the hint I'll drop it. I'll change the conversation. Do you remember a few weeks ago when we went out and you got a little bit too drunk and we had to call a taxi?'
Patsy raised her eyebrows at how random the question was but was also how suspiciously innocent Trixie was trying to sound. 'Well I don't really remember the taxi journey if I'm honest and, well, everything after we left the pub to go to the club is hazy.'
'My phone had died pretty early on that night. Remember? And I had to use yours to phone the taxi.' Trixie moved at the speed of light after this and Patsy was slow to respond. In a second Trixie had grabbed her phone and darted through to the kitchen and was on the other side of the table by the time Patsy had got there. 'And you were that drunk you just told me your passcode so I could phone the taxi.'
Patsy was rooted to the spot as she watched Trixie unlock her phone. She wasn't ready to face this, not yet. What would she say?
'Patsy! You're not even texting anyone! What is going on with you?' This snapped her out of her phase. Patsy had her plan now, she was just waiting for the right moment. 'You're not texting anyone and you're not on messenger with anyone. Unless… Patience Mount, you dark horse. It's tinder, isn't it!'
That right moment was now. Patsy dived up on to the table and launched at Trixie aiming to steal her phone back. Both girls stumbled but stayed on their feet but Trixie was so shocked from the attack that Patsy was able to steal her phone back.
Trixie gave Patsy a stunned stare as she tried to get over her shock at what just happened. Trixie took a few small steps towards Patsy while Patsy pushed her phone as deep into her jeans pocket as possible and avoided eye contact by staring at the floor. She still couldn't look at Trixie when she felt a hand placed gently on her arm.
'Patsy, I'm here for you if you need anything.'
'I'll tell you everything, I promise I will, just not yet. Not now' she whispered as a few tears slid down her cheeks. The rawness in her voice making her sound sincerer than she was feeling.
They went back to the living room and changed the conversation and put the TV on. Patsy didn't know where the night was heading five minutes go but she wasn't expecting to get hammered while watching The Big Bang Theory with Trixie. By the time she went to bed she was lucky she could see the shape of her phone, never mind the words on the screen. She doesn't remember being able to type but the messages to Delia were proof that she could. Too much proof almost, enough to make Patsy visibly cringe the next morning.
To be continued