Sophia: IT'S A FANFIC! A FANFIC!

YAY FOR FANFICS! FANFIC FANFIC FANFIC, HOORAY! HOORAY!

FANFIC FANFIC, HOORAY! HOORAY!

Gajeel: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Levy: Sophia-chan does not own Fairy Tail-

Sophia: DAMN RIGHT, I don't! Do I LOOK like Hiro Mashima to you, punk?!

Levy: Yeah… on the with the show… I think…

Sophia: Hey, wait-!

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Levy glared at the table, her hands clasping her book tightly.

It was hard enough to read, what with the pointless chatter going around the guild every the day. Then would come the bar fights, and doom then is upon us all.

You see, Gajeel had decided to "Shooby Doo Bop" today, leading to some very pissed mages, which had resulted in him and Natsu having one of their infamous brawls. Then of course Gray had to join him, he just had a strong passion for fighting with his rival.

Groaning, Levy smacked her forehead as a shoe came out of nowhere and landed on their table. It was a pretty shoe, Levy had to admit. All sleek and black, with a nice 6-inch stiletto heel. It was a Louboutin shoe, judging from it's red sole.

But. Why. The. Funky Monkeys. Was. It. On. Their. Table.

Feeling a tiny bout of rage at having her reading time interrupted, Levy picked up the shoe threw as hard as she could at where she thought it had come from. It hit poor Lucy on the head, the latter starting to cry on why oh why has Levy-chan betrayed her?!

"Sorry," Levy said before turning back to her book. It was a vampire romance book, a very popular one named "Twilight."

But, so far, all the scenes looked like this in Levy's mind:

"Bella! I love you, even if I do not deserve to exist!"

"Edward! You are the only one I shall ever love! I LOVE YOU!"

And then they kiss. Ugh.

Regardless, Levy was a bookworm and Twilight was a book. She was going to freaking finish it, even if it's gay sappiness killed her.

… Was it just her, or did she sound strangely like Gajeel just now? Meh. No worries.

Levy turned back to the book of doom- ahem, Twilight, and attempted to continue on reading.

Cue the sudden shrieks of Lucy chasing her boyfriend- Oops, I mean Natsu- around the guild with a very dangerous looking hairbrush in her hand. Levy groaned, and proceeded to hit herself on the forehead with her emergency toilet paper- err, Twilight.

Will… it… ever… STOP?!

Adding insult to injury, the brawling duo- Gajeel and Gray, Natsu had long since abandoned the fight to avoid a very scary blonde- bumped into Levy's chair, effectively distracting her again.

Oh, so that's how it was going to be, huh? Well, let's see about that.

Outraged, Levy stood up to stand on the table.

"SOLID SCRIPT: FREEZE!" she yelled, writing the word. Levy was mad enough that the spell froze everyone in the guild, even Gray, the infamous ice mage.

"Nice work," Makarov commented, sipping on his brandy. "I've always wondered what this place was like with all my children together, quietly."

Gildarts laughed. "Me too."

"Good job, Levy!" Makarov called out to the still pissed Solid Script mage.

"Thank you!" she replied cheerily, with an uncharacteristically dark aura surrounding her. And she plopped herself back on her chair, not paying any heed to her nakama who were currently frozen in seriously huge blocks of ice.

The spell wasn't breaking anytime soon, if Levy had anything to do with it.

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AAAAAAANDDD… it's done! My teeny weeny attempt at a humor/parody fic.

REVIEW! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

*creepy smile*