Had this idea for a one shot in my head for a while. ;D I feeling in the writers mood, but I couldn't think of anything to write in the chapters of my other stories, so hopefully this would clear the writer's block. :3

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters, I am not planning to... (except maybe Jacob ;P) yadda yadda yadda...

Don't forget to R&R. Don't like? Don't review... Oh, the Bold Italics is what was done already, and normal bold is what was left to be done.

JPOV

Nessie sat at the bloodsuckers', the Cullens', marble counter and sipped at her cup of donated human blood contentedly. All of the Cullens (including Bella) had gone on a giant hunting trip and, of course, made me stay to babysit my Nessie.

Now, don't get me wrong! I love Nessie, (More than is humanly explainable.. But wait, I am not fully human, right? Should this be easier for me to explain? Whatever...) but I would rather roll in my own shit than have to stay in the reek of the bloodsuckers' house.

But this is where Nessie wants to be so, I guess, screw what I want!

I stared at the paper that Blondie left me with, listing what I was to do while they were away. (Sometimes she acts more of a mother to the kid than Bella does...) They were going to come back tonight, but you know Blondie...

I had finished doing some of the tasks already, and now I only had a few things left.

Things Fido Must Do:

Read Nessie a story.

Put her to bed.

Feed her breakfast & donated blood.

Play some game with her.

Take her to Charlie's

Give her dinner.

Give her a bath & shampoo her hair.

Read her a story.

Put her to sleep.

I stared at the list in horror. Last night I did not have to bathe Nessie because Bella had done that before they left. I know, I shouldn't have to be ashamed because she's just a little girl, but still, the thought was unpleasing.

Nessie walked over to me without falling or slipping or anything clumsy. It was a wonder that she still needed to be given baths.

She looked up at me, waiting for me to open my arms, so I did, and she jumped in. She put her small hands on my neck and a showed me what she wanted to.

She wanted to know what we were going to do next.

Sighing, while putting her on the floor, I answered her question. "Well, Nessie, I have to go bathe you now."

She frowned with displeasure. "It's nap time already?" she complained, her voice filled with the displeasure.

I nodded at her and scooped her up again. "Can't it wait a while longer?" she begged me.

Even if we stalled, I was still gonna have to bathe her sooner or later. It was best to get it over and done with.

"Well, how about after I bathe you we sit and watch television and wait for your mom and dad to come home?" I offered. Nessie nodded eagerly.

"Alright," I said, walking up the stairs of the Cullen's home, "let's get in that tub!"

I walked into the bathroom which, just like everything else in this house, was elegantly decorated. I grabbed a towel from one of the posts that read 'Renesmee' in medium sized, purple, letters.

I handed her the towel and put her on the floor, then waited for her to take off her clothes. She looked at me expectantly, brown eyes wide as she waited.

Curse Pixie-vamp... She was not lying when she said Nessie would be a spoiled kid.

Nessie dropped the towel and lifted her hands for me to take off her dress. It was a rich maroon colored dress that dropped to her knees.

There were buttons at the back that needed to be unbuttoned, so Nessie turned around so her back could face me.

"Hurry up, Jakie, I want to be ready before mom and dad come home!"

I crouched down to Nessie's level and started to unbutton her dress. When that was finished, I slipped it off of her and put it on the ground beside her.

She took off her panty for herself (She was potty-trained already, no need for diapers luckily) while I looked away, then patted my face.

I opened my eyes to look at her, thankfully she had a towel around her, and she pointed at the tub.

"You have to put it on," she told me, so I went over to the tub and plugged the hole and turned on the hot and cold water. I waited for the water to get warm, then turned to face Nessie.

"Go in," I told her, and she dropped the towel and went in. She started splashing in the water, just like any other normal kid who looked like five years but then she stopped.

She reached for the shampoo and handed me it. Her brown curls were wet now, and stuck to her face. I opened the bottle and poured some onto her head. I then put down the bottle and started to scrub it into her head, making foam in the process.

Nessie giggled, and flashed me a bright smile, before dabbing some of the soap onto my nose.

"Hey!" I protested, then proceeded to dab her on the nose too. We continued like that for a while, until I was soaked and Nessie was choking in laughter.

I took some of the water from the tub and poured it onto her head to wash off the shampoo. Soon enough, it was conditioning time. I went through the same process as the shampoo, and sure enough, a suds war broke out again.

Finally I washed off the conditioner. Bathing Nessie wasn't that bad at all!

I talked too soon. It was now the dreaded time of having to soap the little girl in the bath tub.

Suurreee, Jake. You're brave enough to fight armies of leeches, but yet you're afraid to bathe a little girl. My brain thought.

Well, unless you haven't noticed, it's a bit awkward since she's my imprintee and whatnot! I argued.

Nessie patted me on the cheek again. "Hurry up!" she complained. Sighing, I grabbed the soap bar.

I gently passed it over her chest and her back. Nessie's chest was flat and so was her back (not that there was different ways for backs to be shaped... Or was there?)

I passed it by her neck and over her belly. She was wearing the werewolf necklace I gave her. I had forgotten to take it off. Her belly was flat too.

I soaped under her arm, which were smooth as a baby's bottom (was that comparison good enough?), and rubbed her face with water. She then stood up so I could get her long legs which, just like her underarm, was very smooth.

I soaped every inch of her skin, but came upon that area.

I guessed I would have to soap it, or else she would not truly be clean. I passed the soap by Nessie's vagina, very lightly.

Her facial expression changed from smiling to staring at me while frowning. She seemed uncomfortably by this too, so I stopped, glad that I didn't need to go further.

Her smile returned quickly and I lifted her out of the bath tub.

Bath time was finally over.

As I held her against myself, while trying to pick up the towel, Nessie yawned on my shoulder. "Jakie..." she had yawned. I rubbed the towel against her hair, drying it.

I took her to Alice's room, the bloodsucker had a closet filled with clothes for Nessie, and slipped on some designer pajamas. Nessie was half-asleep through all that.

I walked downstairs, the tedious task finally finished, and plopped onto the couch with Nessie. She snored softly on my chest, my arms around her small body, to keep her warm.

"Aren't you gonna wait for mom and dad?" I teased her playfully.

"Nuh uh..." she answered, drifting asleep.

"Put Nessie to sleep," I recited while chuckling, "check."

Hope it wasn't as crappy as I (and a certain other person) thought it was. ;D Poor Jake... He's still so cute and huggable.. Anyways, don't forget to review, no flames please. Also, check out my other Twilight fic, 'Lessons'. It's really good (I think) ;3