Note: Jackie's thoughts about the seduction of Riggins. These characters are not mine.
The minute he came to the door when I complained about his party's loud music, I knew I was in trouble. He wasn't at all what I'd expected, knowing he was a football player in high school. Instead, he was polite, seemed mature, and he looked kind of unconventional. Oh, and drop dead gorgeous.
It was also the way Bo liked him. Part of it was worshipping a football player during a championship season. But Tim treated Bo with respect, humoring him and teaching him how to fight. As a pacifist, that annoyed me, but he had a point after that day when those bigger kids were about to beat up Bo and Tim rescued him. Tim was genuinely sweet with Bo. He'll make a wonderful father someday.
So that night, when we watched Back to the Future (again) and Tim put Bo to bed, he just looked so strong and graceful and gentle when he was carrying my baby – so paternal. I guess that showed on my face when he came back out and gave me this amazing look before leaning in to kiss me. Of course I wanted it, but after a moment of easing into his warm kiss, my brain kicked on and I pulled away.
I didn't want to embarrass him, but I only made it worse when I said he was just a kid and pretended I didn't know what he was doing. All along I'd been leading him on with my body language and actions. I was just too chicken to admit my part.
The next morning I sat on the bench outside, waiting partly for Bo to finish his piano practice, and partly for Tim to come home. He drove up in his truck looking like he'd been out all night. That made him even more attractive -- the fact that he was this wild child without the tight limits and constraints that rule my life as a single mom.
I hadn't meant to invite him inside, but between his musky boy scent, his sweet and polite apology, and some crazy chemistry we shared, I couldn't help it. So I hooked his fingers with mine, and the rest played out like nature intended.
When we entered my house, the magnetism between us was so strong I was sure I could see it. Lord knows I felt it. And the thought that I was being seduced by this hot, horny football player who seemed to be attracted to me… it was too much to resist. In bed, he was passionate and aggressive while being more sensual and responsive than any guy I'd ever been with. I surrendered completely.
We kind of got into a routine, with him spending the evening with Bo and me when he could, then sleeping over. In the morning, after we cuddled some more or made love, he'd either sneak out before Bo (which is hard, because Bo gets up real early) or jump out the window and go home, or come back inside through the front door. It was pretty comical, actually. Also absurd, because nothing really got by Bo.
Which was the problem. He began to treat Tim more like a father than a buddy, and that was never going to be. I never should've seduced Tim – rather, let Tim seduce me -- as he's about half my age. I suppose that's actually illegal, come to think of it, but if you saw how mature he acted in all ways, you'd never think he was underage. Hell, he was twice as experienced as most of the men had been in my life, and lots nicer. And with his clothes off, honey -- he was a full grown man.
When he came to the bank that time, at first I was embarrassed, but when I saw how the others also worshipped him as a leading Panther, and even looked at me a bit jealously, I felt proud. They were thinking, what's so special about her that she hooked the team stud Riggins? It made me laugh inside, especially since in high school, I was always quiet, small, and overlooked by guys until I went to college. Then I came out of my shell.
I always wondered what attracted him to me… was it just proximity and availability? When he could have any girl, any woman he wanted… why me? Maybe it was because I treated him like a grown up and I didn't worship him just for being a Panther. I did see his sweet side, and that made him all the more sexy to me. I miss physically uniting with him and plunging into this seemingly bottomless abyss of mind blowing pleasure….
But I knew I had to break it off for pretty much every reason, so I decided to do it as soon as I could. He was sitting in his truck, enthusiastically telling me his plans for our dinner that night, and I lowered the boom. He actually took it pretty well. But it was all I could do to not hug and kiss him with all my heart and cradle him in my arms. Yes, protect him from myself.
Bo was upset and confused, but they still played together every once in awhile. What's worse was when I got together with Billy, who really was more of a father figure to Bo – more stern and less understanding than Tim had been. And Bo was understandably very confused about the Riggins brothers. Come to think of it, so was I. Billy was no Tim as far as hotness and sex, but he did offer other things. In the end, they weren't enough.
When I was packing to leave Dillon, Tim snarked back at me about how I could complete the "Riggins trifecta" with his Dad in Corpus. That stung like a scarlet A being tattooed on my chest, but I suppose I deserved it. I've been running from the same thing my whole adult life, and I suppose until I find someone like Tim who's my age, I won't stop.