A/N: Have you ever wondered how Howl explained the scene with the Witch in Wales to his family? I always have, and I don't think DWJ ever offered an explanation for that one. Here is one possible version.
IN WHICH HOWL OFFERS HIS EXPLANATIONS IN WALES
One day, soon after Howl and Sophie had defeated the Witch and her fire demon and rescued Prince Justin and Wizard Suliman, Howl was dozing off in the bath when he suddenly remembered that he had never offered his sister or her family an explanation for the scene with the Witch in Wales. He didn't know what he would say, or how he would explain it, but he knew that, surely, he had to do something. Howl dressed quickly, bolted out of the bathroom, and practically ran out of the castle with the knob black down, ignoring the obvious questions that three pairs of eyes were shooting into his back.
Of course, it was raining dismally in Wales. He changed his clothes, magically reappropriated his keys from their safe place out of Megan and Gareth's grasp (inside his old car), and opened the door to Rivendell. The family was seated in front of the telly, watching some new nature show that Mari had been looking forward to and Neil was only watching because Megan had made him, on the pretext of its being educational. By the time Howl had entered, however, Neil was captivated by the dramatic way it was narrated, emphasizing all the guts and gore along with the serene scenery. Mari, though somewhat frightened by the violence of the hyenas, chastised them loudly, and looked forward to the promised happy end of this episode's feature "story" about two orphaned lion cubs.
Howl, trying to make his entrance discreet, was sadly met by a commercial break. Megan was just getting up for a drink of water when she saw Howl standing in the door. She hissed at him and beckoned him into the kitchen.
"You! You have a lot of explaining to do!" she demanded. They were shortly followed in by Gareth, who also started admonishing Howl and demanding impossible explanations. By this time, Neil and Mari had guessed who had just entered and were both standing in the kitchen doorway.
"Uncle Howell?" Mari asked quietly, nervously.
Howl looked to her for consolation and then courageously confronted their questions, knowing better than to try to slither out this time. He did his best, relating his doctoral thesis to his current situation and how that involved the Witch. Megan didn't believe it, and Gareth believed even less; they both fiercely verbalized their conclusion that she was just another one of Howell's dumped paramours, and this time, Howell had been stupid enough to chase after a mad woman, who seemed to have made him lose his sanity in the process and gotten the Parry family dangerously involved in the mix. Of course, they were careful to word it vaguely enough so that their children wouldn't fully understand exactly what they were accusing Howell of. Neil scowled at him, quietly agreeing with his parents whole-heartedly, while Mari merely stared at him, bewildered.
Howl listened in silence as Megan and Gareth continued to vent their feelings, and stared from time to time at his niece and nephew with glassy eyes. When they realized that he either wasn't listening or that they had repeated their complaints long enough, they wordlessly demanded him to fill the silence with an answer. After some time, Howl sighed and quietly replied, "If you really don't believe me, then I'll take you there. I'll show you."
Megan was about to agree with Gareth's immediate refusal. But suddenly, unexpectedly, she remembered something that she had chosen to forget over the years.
It was close to ten years ago; her brother, then in his first semester at university, was on his first break. He rushed up the stairs to the small apartment that he and Megan had shared after both their parents had died and greeted her with an odd bouquet of sunflowers and roses in the doorway.
"Howell Jenkins! How could you waste so much money on something so trivial? They'll die within two weeks!" she admonished him, though she was flattered that he had remembered her two favorites. Ignoring her, Howell simply kissed her on the cheek.
They entered the apartment and she found an empty bottle to work as a makeshift vase, while he helped prepare a nice dinner for the two of them, as she had just gotten home from work herself. She asked him a few questions, but he didn't need much persuading: he simply bubbled with information about how much he loved university and why. He seemed to focus on this one class on charms and spells he particularly liked. No doubt to help him along with his girls, Megan had thought grimly, as she was already accustomed to his flirtatious habits. But she was surprised when he went on to explain exactly what they were studying and how it tied into this physics class he was going to take next semester on relativity, black holes, and the possibility of parallel universes. She had always brushed this particular interest of his as nonsense, even as he continued this line of study to a PhD, much to her chagrin.
After he left for his second semester, she wondered how those flowers lasted fully two months, though it was the dead of winter and she didn't do anything special to care for them. Everyday, they looked as if they had been freshly cut, until the day they "died", when they suddenly lost all of their petals, which were somehow still bright and fresh – looking as if they had been picked off of fresh flowers. She had carefully preserved them in a book and only now wondered whatever happened to it.
She remembered, too, that a few years later, he had excitedly barged into her apartment babbling something about a pathway he found, some more nonsense about his dissertation. Frustrated and stressed out by the plans for her upcoming wedding, she curtly responded then, as she was about to now, that she wasn't remotely interested.
"Wait," Megan said, cutting off her husbands' new tirade about what level Howell was willing to let his family sink to, spoiling his children, placing them in danger, and then offering to take them somewhere suspect.
Howl gave her a pained look, his face showing his wonder at what more she could possibly have to say to him.
"Howell, for years, you talked to me about charms, spells, and parallel universes. And you had offered me this option years ago, though I had rejected you then. Perhaps, I should give you a chance this time," she said, looking at Gareth meaningly.
Gareth sighed, surprised that his rational wife was actually giving her useless brother a chance. But if Megan was willing to trust Howell, after having suffered through more of his abuse than he had ever had to, Gareth knew that he should consent as well. He refused to admit that he was also mildly curious at the chance, though completely unlikely, that maybe Howell was telling the truth. Excited, Mari ran up to grab Howell's hand, with Neil hot on her heels.
Howl led them outside quietly and closed the door. Then he turned to face the door, and pulled them through the layer of nothing and into the castle in Ingray. Sophie had just left for Cesari's to go talk to Martha.
"Uncle Howell lives on top of us?" Mari exclaimed, excited at this discovery of just how close she was to her cherished uncle.
"What on earth are you wearing?" Neil demanded. Howl had forgotten that long ago, he had cast a spell on the door so that as soon as he came back from Wales, his clothes would automatically change back too. He almost regretted that now.
"This is the proper attire of Ingray – that's where we are right now," he replied nonchalantly. Neil made a face, clearly indicating that he was more than happy to live in a world where men didn't have to wear such effeminate attire – a long coat, almost like a dress, really, and decorated as intricately.
"And you actually live here?" Megan asked, in as much awe as her two children. She looked around in wonder. What probably struck her the most was how remarkably clean the place was, even though it was modest and out-dated by the modern standards of her world. Even Gareth was impressed, remembering what Howell's apartment used to look like, the few times he visited it with Megan. Howl, watching their eyes move from the well swept floor to the shining kitchen sink to the clean hearth, thought, I'll have to thank Sophie later!
Michael was still sitting at the workbench, pondering over the enlargement spell, and Howl decided to milk that opportunity. "This is my wizard's apprentice Michael. I believe you've met him before, Megan."
Michael had been staring at the lot of them since they had entered, confused as to why they were in the moving castle and afraid that a bitter argument between the siblings was sure to ensue.
During the introductions, Michael politely smiled, while Neil walked over to stare at what exactly Michael was doing. He had a mixing bowl in front of him and he had taken down several of the herbs and roots from the ceiling. He had been carefully studying the spell and had several sheets of paper on which he had written his ideas on how to work it. If Howl wasn't mistaken, Neil was almost in awe of the wonders that Michael was attempting, as he looked from the scrawled spell to the herbs and back. Howl smiled broadly, glad that his nephew might have finally regained some faith in him, after all.
"What are you doing?" Neil asked.
Looking to Howl for approval to speak and explain, Michael responded, "This is a spell for enlargement. One that we had actually gotten back from you, or your teacher Miss Angorian. Well she wasn't really a teacher, in the end, I guess, but a fire demon." Neil was ecstatic: no one had explained why Miss Angorian had left so suddenly and now he learned that his presumptions that Miss Angorian was the devil incarnate hadn't been so far off the mark since she had apparently been a demon.
"I had been working on it," Michael continued, "but I hadn't gotten it quite right before. And then, what with the Witch and the curse and everything, I never got the chance to actually try to fix this spell. But I think I've got it now."
Michael carefully dished some of the powder out onto a scrap of cloth that he had gotten from Sophie earlier. (To Howl's dismay, it was actually a piece of his blue and silver suit, which he thought he had effectively disposed of. It seemed he actually would have to bury his old clothes to let them rest in peace, away from Sophie's scissors.) Michael let the cloth grow to about the length of his arm and then shook the powder off in a bucket of water that he had kept near him explicitly for this purpose. Then he waited another few seconds anxiously. The cloth didn't seem to be getting any bigger this time. He looked at Howl again, who merely smiled and replied, "Well done, Michael."
Mari, obviously in awe of such an incredible spell eagerly ran up to Michael and asked him to pour some on her. "It doesn't work on people or animals, Mari, only on things," Howl answered. Howl would have to thank Michael, as well. Without being asked, he had verified Howl's story to the point of making it undeniable.
He then, showed his family the castle door. First he took them yellow down into Market Chipping, to prove to Neil that people in Ingray did, in fact, dress the way he did. After a short stroll through the town, in which they got many stares for their inexplicable clothing, and during which time Howl also showed them the flower shop, Howl led them back into the castle.
Michael was chatting with Calcifer, who suddenly stopped speaking and pretended to be a normal, albeit colorful, fire. Instead, Howl introduced his family to the fire demon, and Mari and Neil nervously walked closer in amazement. Calcifer indulgingly blew out different shapes made of flames – animals, flowers, and what the pair deemed "mythical creatures" (unicorns, griffins, sphinxes, and the like).
"Did you help Uncle Howell too during his fight with the Witch?" Mari asked, unsure if she would get a response.
"Of course I helped him!" Calcifer crackled. "Without me, Howl would have lost, for sure." He smiled broadly as Howl glared at him. Howl had half a mind to set the record straight with Calcifer right now, but he knew his family had to be on their way.
Finally, he showed them the garden on the edge of the Waste, and Calcifer and Michael decided to join them. Megan gasped in awe, and even Gareth, who wasn't particularly fond of flowers, was captivated by the magical wonder. Mari simply ran in and chased butterflies of every color imaginable out of all the bushes.
"Howl made this place, you know," Michael bragged.
When they stared at him in disbelief, Howl quickly replied, "More or less. Another wizard here had started it though," shooting his apprentice an angry glance.
Neil followed Michael and Calcifer outside, who had started chasing Mari; the four of them quickly began running around and laughing. Megan and Gareth used this opportunity to confront Howell once again.
"Looks like I was wrong," Megan said, looking absently at a rose bush growing next to a bunch of sunflowers. Gareth nodded in silent agreement, amazed at all that he had seen that afternoon, thinking maybe it was all a dream. "I'm sorry," Megan added, quietly.
Howl was about to gloat over his victory until he saw their faces, odd mixtures of awe and regret. Howl would have to confront this situation sincerely. He hated being serious.
"I gave you little reason to believe in me. Much of what you said was true, and we all know it." Faced with such uncharacteristic honesty, they looked at him incredulously. "But you know," he quickly continued, "our biggest argument has always been that there's more than one way to live your life. And, Megan, you know that this goes way back, too, before I even started studying charms and spells. You seriously can't expect me to adopt your lifestyle any more than I can expect it of you, so it's fine if we argue over this. In fact, I would be concerned if we didn't; it would seem too distant, as if we really didn't care about each other. Just know that I don't always lie."
Wanting to end that uncomfortable conversation, Howl walked towards Mari, Neil, and Michael, who were lying on a patch of grass and moss and watching the stars begin to shine. Calcifer was flying high above, seeing if he could ever reach the firmament again. Megan and Gareth stood by the castle and watched the twilight fall over the scene. They were soon joined by Sophie, who after returning to the empty castle, had decided to relax in the cool dusk of the garden and was surprised to find Howl's family there as well. As Sophie stepped out of the castle, Megan seeing her face was shocked to see one that was so familiar, like Michael's, yet considerably younger.
"Have we met before?" Megan asked.
Sophie was uncertain how much Howl might want Megan and Gareth to know. But after considering the scene between Howl and the Witch in Wales and recalling how he had dashed into Wales earlier that day, she thought that Howl must have brought his family here to show them the truth. At least that's what she hoped, when she answered, "Yes, but I was under a spell, by the Witch who you saw a few days ago in Wales, I believe. I appeared considerably older the last time we met."
Ordinarily, Megan and Gareth would have taken Sophie for another one of Howell's intrigues, but the fact that she had been bespelled to look older, and, if Megan's memory served correctly, significantly uglier, made it hard to believe that Howell could have been interested in her. Then again, looking at her now, there was no way Howell could be able to resist. But the fact that she had gone to Wales previously and just came out of the castle seemed to confirm some kind of long relationship.
Megan usually took no interest in Howell's girls because the story was always the same:
"Met at a bar, and he was so gallant." "Met in the library, and he was so charming." "Met on the street, and he was so polite." But this story must have had something more to it. She couldn't help asking, "How did you come to meet Howell?"
"Well, I had heard of him as 'Horrible Howl' who ate girls' hearts and sucked out their souls. He didn't actually do either," she said quickly, when she saw their eyes widen. "Howl had Michael blacken his name so that he wouldn't have any visitors. After the Witch had cast a spell on me to look old, I had nowhere to go, and I decided to go to Howl's castle, thinking he couldn't possibly be interested in a wrinkly face, in the hopes that he could take the spell off. He's known to be quite strong, but taking the spell off took longer than anticipated. In the mean time, I started helping out around the castle, cleaning and such." That explains that change, Megan thought. So it wasn't Howell's doing after all. I guess some things can never do change.
The three of them talked a bit longer, asking about each other's pasts and what they currently did. Megan and Gareth were curious as to what Howell had made of himself in this other world; Sophie was curious about Howl's family and what he was like in Wales. She wasn't surprised when, upon hearing their explanations, he seemed pretty much the same as he was in Ingary. Sophie's explanations of Howl and his actions did surprise Megan and Gareth, though; they usually avoided considering his personality in an even remotely positive light. Sophie explained in a bit further detail – probably more than Howl would have liked – the recent story involving the Witch. Megan and Gareth were both fairly impressed to find Sophie so rational and sensible. Usually, the women Howell flirted with were stupid and coquettish; the smart ones knew better than to be interested in him.
Eventually, Howl and the rest of the troop walked back towards the castle; Howl was carrying a sleepy Mari on his back, as it was well past Mari's bedtime.
"We probably should be going," Megan said.
After entering the castle, Howl led his family out the castle door, turned to black down. Before he opened the door into their hall again, though, he thought a minute, and cast a quick spell. He said to Megan and Gareth, as Mari was now asleep in Gareth's arms and Neil was half awake and only dreaming of all the wonders he had seen, "If you ever want to return to Ingray, say my name as you ring the doorbell and there will be a knock on the castle door. But don't tell too many people," he said, casting a meaningful glance at the children. "Otherwise there will be too much communication between the worlds; it'll be like a zoo on both sides and probably very bad for the development of each." It was only fair to give them an opportunity to pass between the worlds as well.
That night, Megan and Gareth went to sleep baffled by what they had seen and how to make sense of it. Their children seemed to accept it as a strange fantasy, an alternate reality, but although Megan and Gareth knew it was true, they couldn't accept it as a viable alternate reality. Each day, as with all experiences, they all remembered a little bit less. Eventually, everything that Howl had shown to the Parry family reduced into a vague and mysterious dream. Even when Howl and Sophie visited them in Wales, the family started to believe that the couple lived in the world the Parrys' knew. Their minds, after trying so desperately to try understand something that seemed so impossible, actively worked to forget this strange memory of a land so distant and yet so close, so foreign and yet so similar. Howl never received a knock on the castle door from Wales. He regretted it but wasn't surprised.
Years later, Mari was the only one who remembered at all, and even for her, it was only a few blurry images that would occasionally show up in her most restless dreams, like old, faded photographs.