Ali Weisman wheeled herself into the middle of her room. Her walls were bright pink, the dressers and shelves that lined the walls were white. Pictures of her family and friends covered the walls. On top of the dresser, there were metals and awards on which she rightfully earned. But recently everything had changed, all of the things that were in her room reminded her of who she once was. She wasn't the same person who was in those photos, who won those metals. Ali didn't know exactly what she was feeling but one thing she knew is that it wasn't happy and positive. She knew she wasn't that cheerful, happy and loving girl anymore.
Her life wasn't the same anymore, not since the car accident that left her paralyzed. Her parents had rebuilt the house to accommodate Ali and her wheelchair. Almost all of the tables, countertops and shelves had been lowered. They had moved her room from upstairs, next to Michael, to downstairs on the main floor where there weren't any stairs. She relied on her family for a lot of day to day things. Things that prior to the car accident, she could easily do on her own. She relied on them to carry her from one place to another. She relied on them to reach for things she couldn't. She relied on them to push her wheelchair when her arms felt like they are going to fall off from wheeling herself around. But her mobility and mode of transportation were not the only drastic changes in her life, her ability to be an athlete changed too. That loss is what killed her the most.
Ali was a diver. She dreamed of becoming an Olympian. She dreamed of the day that she would stand on the podium and receive a gold medal. She dreamed of hearing her name echo through the Nothing could compare to the feeling she got when she walked to the edge of the diving board; the feeling that she got when she was in mid air. The reward Ali felt when she entered the water knowing she successfully completed a dive. Diving was where she felt most free. She loved diving, and now diving was not possible. There was no way she could dive without the use of her legs.
She couldn't do anything anymore. All she did was sit in the chair. THAT WAS ALL. She felt totally and completely helpless.
She wheeled herself over to the nearest shelf, and reached for the trophy she had won just last year. She reached as far as her arms would let her but it was no use. She couldn't grab onto it. Having all of the trophies and medals surrounding her was making her sick. She had to leave; she couldn't be in the house anymore. It was suffocating.
Ali wheeled herself over to her desk where she had a few of her medals; she looked at each of them and took hold of one of a gold medal and put in her lap. With the medal in her lap, she wheeled out of her bedroom and speed through the kitchen and out the front door right past her mother and her brother.
"Ali? Where you going? What's wrong?" Ali heard her brother call after her.
The next thing Ali heard was her mother expressing her worry. She heard her question Michael; her voice shaky and full of fear. "Has your sister said anything to you? Has anything happened at school?" It was one question after another and all Ali heard Michael say was: I don't think so. If she looked back, one would most likely see him shrug his shoulders, unsure of what was going on and what to say.
I heard my mom speak to my brother: "Michael, can you follow her? Make sure she's ok?" My mom asked my brother. Ali could hear Michael pick up the keys from the counter. He was going to follow her. She needed to stop him. She looked back and responded to both of them, not truly answering any of their questions or giving her loved ones very much comfort. "I'm fine! I just need some time to think! Please don't follow me! I need some time alone will you guys give me that? I swear, I'm ok!"
The response left her family speechless, but she didn't care. She had to leave and clear her head and she hoped her family would leave her be. She was going to go to the lake, where she would be far enough away from the house.
After about half an hour, Ali had finally reached the lake. She couldn't feel her arms. Her arms felt like jelly. It was like; they were totally disconnected from her body. If she had gotten a drive, it would have taken about half the time and much less energy. But that would have meant asking for a drive and she didn't feel like talking to anyone in her family.
She looked down at the gold medal that was in her lap. She just wanted to get rid of it, she wanted to get rid of all the memories she had of her life prior to the accident. Her life was never going to be the same. The best way to forget all of that was to get rid of the medals she had. She couldn't look at them and not remember the life she had.
She picked up from her lap and threw it as hard as she could into the lake. She watched it soar through the air and finally hit the water, making a tiny splash. With that splash, the medal was gone. It vanished, nowhere to be seen. She sat there in silence, in disbelief. The medal was gone. It was that easy to get rid of, but the memories were still there.
She looked past the water, deep in thought. Ever since the accident, all she could think about was all the things she couldn't do and who had caused the accident. Her best friend Lily was the one driving the car that left her paralysed. She couldn't help but feel anger towards, no matter how many times she had told Lily that she was ok and she didn't blame her. Truth was, she did. She would be able to dive. She would be independent. She would be Ali again. That was all she wanted. She wanted to be Ali again.