Hi! This is my first fanfic so I hope you enjoy it! Please review and tell me if you think my character is too mary sue, rambling, etc. NO FLAMES PLEASE, ONY CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. I don't think my fragile heart could withstand any flames. Anyway, Enjoy! :)

DISCLAIMER: IF I OWNED HoO, IT WOULD PROBABLY SUCK.

COVER BY I Was Divided By Zero. CHECK OUT HER STORIES. SHE'S AWESOME :) u/3978293/

You've Got Mail

A PJO fanfic by SparkleIsAColor2000

Chapter 1

An Introduction of Sorts…

This, my dear readers, is the record of my adventures (actually, more like misadventures) with Leo Valdez and the crew of the Argo II. I can guarantee that every word is true. You probably won't believe me. Actually, I'm quite certain that you won't believe me, but I guess I'll write it anyway, just for kicks. Before I start, I guess you want to know who I am. An introduction, then? Sure, why not…..

My name is Dana Washington, and I am a demigod. Well, sort of. My ancestry is complicated, to say the least. I'm sure you don't care anyway…. No? Still curious? Fine, pull up a chair; just don't get mad at me when you die of boredom halfway through.

My grandmother was an Aphrodite demigod. She somehow managed to survive until adulthood and married my granddad, a Hermes demigod. After a couple years came my dad. When he was 22, my dad met my mom while on a Quest. Now, this is really going to throw you for a loop…. My mom is Terpsichore, the Muse of song and dance. And normal demigods complain about their ancestry, hmph. Anyway, life was all fine and dandy until my dad died of some rare jungle disease while on one of his voyages to search for a cure for Mad Cow Disease (he was a veterinary scientist, in case you didn't understand). Since my dad was gone and I had no living family, I was sent to live with my mom, whom I had never met. Now, don't get me wrong, she was a nice lady and all, but she was so depressed from hearing about my dad's death that she was in no state to take care of a six year old. So the other Muses took me in and raised me in their temple in LA.

Being a descendent of Hermes, my entire life I couldn't wait to get out of the temple. All of the Muses were super paranoid and wouldn't let me outside the temple grounds (millennia of paparazzi will do that to a person). Ugh, can you imagine being cooped up in the same building for seven years when you have claustrophobia? Talk about horrifying. The second I turned 13, I went to Olympus and begged for a job until Zeus gave in on the condition that I'd shut up. I know you're just jumping with excitement to find out what job I got, so I guess I'll tell you…..I became the official mailman (or mailgirl) of Olympus. That's right, you heard correctly, I said MAILMAN. It turns out that the mail system Ol' Zeusy had in place was literally older than the wheel itself, so I became the replacement. You probably know how each camp has a PO box for mail, and how on "mail day" someone checks the aforementioned PO box and hands out mail accordingly? Well have you ever wondered how the mail gets into the PO box? That's where I come in. Every morning I wake up before the sun and race all over the world, taking the gods mail wherever it needs to go (partly, the camps) and collecting whatever needs to be sent to Olympus. It's actually not as bad as you think. I mean, I get free food, a room on friggin' OLYMPUS, and I get to travel. Plus it's not like I have anyone competing with me for my job (apparently I'm the only person crazy enough to venture into the Mare Nostrum alone. Go figure). Plus it's better than being sent to one of the camps. It's not that I have anything against other demigods or anything, but I just don't think I'd do well in camp. I mean, Roman camp? No way, too many rules, not enough freedom. Camp Half-Blood? Nope. Where would I stay, anyway? Hermes cabin and claustrophobia don't mix, there's no way I'd let an Aphrodite girl anywhere near my face with makeup, and there's no cabin for children of the Muses (Inconsiderate twits. I know we're rare, but not nonexistent…. I mean, Hera even gets a cabin, and she can't even have demigods! Insolent children *incoherent mumbling*….). So my life was pretty much the same routine, day after day. And it stayed that way, until that fateful mail run…

Sorry it's so short! My other chapters will be longer, I promise. REVEIW! FOLLOW! FAVORITE! Thanks:)