Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
I never prayed before. Never had to. I was given anything and everything, and never had to lift a finger. Not even to pray. But Holly J is gone. My brother is distant. And once again I am back in rehab.
To accept the things I cannot change
She is gone, to live her life. To find love, to find life, and to grow. Even though we will still be friends, the distance will provide distance within in us. The distance will grow until one day we will both realize that we are strangers to each other. And that is something, no matter what we try to do, cannot be changed.
To change the things I can
Even though you are now gone, you are no longer pushing me to be better. I will better myself. I admitted myself to rehab. I was not forced, I did not have to have my eyes forced open. I admitted. I decided that it was time. I will always be an alcoholic, that is something that I cannot change. But I can change the willpower I have for it. I can change how strong I can become. And it is not just alcohol. It is myself esteem. I am told how beautiful I look. But most of the time I do not feel beautiful. And I can change that.
And the wisdom to know that difference.