Taken

by Tachyon II

This story is a sequel for my story "Vanished", written from Janeway's point of view.

First Day

I'm lying on a bed feeling groggy. There is no strength left in my body, I'm altogether powerless. This realization alone makes me cautious. Then I comprehend that I don't know where I am, what day it is, or what I am doing here. I don't remember where I should be, but I'm quite sure this is not the place. I become more cautious, nervous even. I decide not to move. I rather stay put without revealing that I'm awake. Not before I have succeeded to clear my mind.

Then I remember that I should be in New York. I was invited to the conference, and I checked in to same hotel where the conference was. I remember spending my time there; talking to new people, answering to many questions, even though my keynote speech wasn't even scheduled until the next day. But people recognized my face and they wanted to step to me. I also remember going into my room, it was on the 7th floor, I think.

I remember entering my room, taking off my jacket, and going into bathroom... and someone was in there. Someone was in my room and he grabbed me FROM behind. That someone must know where I am now. That someone must have taken me here. Where am I?

Day 2

Door opens, and I get off the bed. I want to stand when facing the one who has captured me. I want to keep my head high and look that person in the eye. I'm extremely angry and my anger blocks all the budding emotions of fear. It gives me courage now, strength even. And it goes to use. I want an explanation.

A man enters the room. He's human, dark-haired, approaching his 50s (I guess), and he obviously keeps avoiding my glare. Well at least I can be quite sure now that I'm still on Earth. The man carries a tray. There's food on the plate, and a plastic mug. No fork, spoon or knife. I'm expected to eat with my hands.

"Who the hell are you?", I asked angrily. "And what the hell is this?"
"Eat", a man says as he puts the tray on the floor. Then he steps back as he's about to leave.
"I want answers. Why Am I here? What place is this?"
No answer.
Suddenly I froze. There is something very familiar in that man.
"Do I know you?" I ask.
"Eat", he says again and turns his back on me while walking towards the door.

I feel anxious. I'm getting surer that I have seen that man before. But where? When? He walks away while I'm holding my breath. Finally he closes the door behind him, and I'm alone again. Then it hits me. I rush to the door and I press my ear against the wooden surface.

"Cheb…?" I ask. "Cheb? Is that you?"
Silence. No word FROM the other side. But I'm getting surer that it was him. The last time I saw him was many years ago when we were in our teens. I still remember him as this 16 year old boy, I remember his face. Sure he's a lot older now, but the man who was just in this room has so much Cheb in him that I cannot be mistaken. I'm surprised and confused.
"Cheb?" I ask again. Then I start to bound the door.
"Cheb?!" I holler. "Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeb!!"

Day 3

This must be the third day in the room and I already feel agitated. Hours pass by extremely slow. This is such a drastic change to my busy life. After we got back, I've had one heck of a schedule without decent breaks. I had planned to take some time off FROM my duties, a short vacation that would have lasted more than one day, but there never seemed to be proper time to make it happen. There was always something. Therefore I have hard time to adjust to this. This silence, this austere room. I have nothing to do but to sleep and think. I'm starting to feel distress. But I won't break. I'm far away from breaking.

Day 6

I'm hungry. Cheb hasn't paid me a visit for a day now. But I know he's behind the door somewhere, I hear his footsteps during the evenings. So I have concluded that I'm in his house, and this room where I am, is a guest room of some kind. Unfortunately the whole place screams like it has been prepared for its new inhabitant for a while now. The door is always locked, the window is covered with the shutters outside, so the room is relatively gloomy even during the daytime. Little bathroom that I got is no more than a niche. It has no door and there isn't a lamp in it. So I spend a lot of time in a dark, since Cheb doesn't bother to turn on the lights every evening. Like this evening. But I won't give in. I refuse to let his tricks to break my spirits. I console myself with a thought that this. like any other thing in life, is going to end at some point. I just have to hold on. I have been in worse situations than this.

Reasoning does not, however, block all the emerging emotions that I'm trying so hard to ignore. I'm worried.

Day 9

I flinched at the sound of the opening door. I get up and sit on the bed. Cheb enters the room, and I feel angry. He hasn't seen me for days, so there was nothing for me to eat.
"So when are you going to talk to me?" I ask without even trying to hide my irritation. "It's been… I think over a week of this and you still have barely said a word. Not to mention looking me straight at the eyes."
"Why don't you just keep your mouth shut?" he says, breaking his silence.
"Why should I? After all the trouble you must endured to get me in this lovely room."
"Your sarcasm will do you little good."
"I don't see it hurting me either", I snap.
"Not yet anyway," he says monotonously.
"Try me."
"Don't push me. You're done pushing me."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Just… be quiet already", he asks.
"Are you holding a grudge against me for some reason? If so, I would like to know what it is. And please don't tell me this is about the Academy."
"What the hell is it with you?!" he asks angrily. "You think you're above everyone else? You think you can get away with almost anything just because some ignorant people believe every single word of propaganda that is being said about you these days?"
"Propaganda?"
"I have really learned to hate you", he says with a voice full of loath.
Then he leaves. The door closes again, shutting me out FROM the rest of the world. I collect my thoughts. It is strange to be aware that someone truly hates you as a person. Hates and loathes.

Day 10

I've been thinking a lot about Delta Quadrant. I guess this is as good time as any to reflect all the things that have happened during the past years. I have cried a lot, too. Many things have brought tears to my eyes. Part of me is happy, laughing to the miracle of arriving home. But a big part of me is crying at the same time.

Being Captain Kathryn Janeway of the U.S.S. Voyager was all I knew for a long time. But as much as I liked being the captain to my crew, and as much as I am thankful for all the experiences I've had, I wouldn't want to go back. The mere thought of going back to space and explore the great unknown is somewhat… revolting thought. I guess I got my share of space exploration for the time being. And after Delta Quadrant, the Federation Space feels just small and even… boring.

Day 11

I've had strange thoughts today. I have found myself imagining myself outdoors. It's sunny and a breeze refreshes the summer air. I think myself as a bird. That was what Daddy used to call me. But the analogy seems fitting now. I see my self as a bird that has just bumped against the window class, and now she's down to the ground, puzzled, with a broken wing. Flying is all that the bird has known since it left from the nest, but she was blinded by her flying speed, and she didn't see the window ahead. Wonder when I am able to spread my wings and soar again?

I guess I should have been more careful. But on the other hand, regretting the past is the worst thing to do now. Waste of time and energy, nothing more. What has been done is done.

Day 13

Cheb entered the room again today, left the tray, picked the old one FROM yesterday, and left. Like usual, he didn't say a word. And the first time I didn't even try to get him to speak. I have nothing to say to him at this moment. Nothing. I have more things to solve with myself and I. A lot of things to figure out.

Day 20

It's been awful during the last few days. I have cried a lot. Silently, of course, since I don't want Cheb to know. When he enters to this room and leaves the tray, I just turn my back on him.

I squeeze the thin pillow against my chest. I imagine being held… by Chakotay. His presence has always been such a great source of strength to me. And I love him, like I have loved him for a long time now. I miss him like crazy. I guess I mucked up things with him pretty profoundly. There were some mutual feelings between us, it was not a secret to either of us, but I kept pushing him away. And it finally worked. He went to another direction, and even though I tried to convince myself otherwise, I was pretty devastated about it. It cut me deeply. He's my dearest friend, and suddenly when I realized that's all he's ever going to be, I was numb.

I start to sob again. I remember our trip to Lake Como. We had such a good time, and he seemed to be in good spirits. I knew that he and Seven had finished… whatever they got. And I was genuinely happy about it, even though they both are important to me. But selfishly I was happy about it. So why didn't I say anything to him during that day on Lake Como? Why didn't I let him know? Why didn't I admit to myself that being near to him is the best place for me to be?

Day 22

The door opened today as so many days before. Cheb came in. I looked at him and saw no tray. He came in with a chair. I was surprised. What was this? He wanted to talk?
"What do you want?" I ask reluctantly. I guess I should be happy for the variation in the daily routine, but I'm not.
"How are you?" he asks.
"Good," I say. "How is the world outside?"
"They are finally quitting talking about you."
"Is that so?", I snort. "And that was your goal?"
"Partly".
"Was it really that annoying to see my face everywhere?"
"Yes it was. Constant reminder of the cold bitch you are, who always got it easy because of his dearest daddy."
"Excuse me?"
"Well, the show is almost over now, admiral. The world is starting to give up on you."
"Really?", I ask. "Why do I have hard time of believing that?"
"You really think that you are so precious that everyone is going to cry for your absence? That this world is losing something irreplaceable with you? You breathe the same air on this planet than everyone else does."
"I know. Have I ever argued otherwise?" I ask angrily.
"You need to ask that? You, FROM all people? You, who hits the guy when he's already down, just to make yourself feeling better, and to climb another step higher on the latter?"
"What are you accusing me of?!" I shout.
"You are selfish and arrogant, just as you have always been. And everyone in this solar system seems to think you are some kind of god. Well news flash - you are not!"
"Is it really my fault that people are interested in me? That the media wants to follow me? I haven't ever asked this kind of attention! And you, Cheb… wow."
"Wow what?"
"Do you even realize what you've done?", I ask. "You just made your life a lot more complicated than it should be, much more difficult. Why would you do a thing like this? Why? What is the purpose of this? What the hell has provoked you to do this in the first place? I never expected you to be this stupid. If you are not regretting this now, you will soon. Believe me, you will. There will be consequences. You have painted a huge bull's eye on yourself. "
Cheb stands up and takes a step towards me. Suddenly I feel strong blow on my face, and the room disappears from my eyes. All I can see is darkness with few white blinking dots sparkling like stars.
"Shut up, you whore", he said sinisterly.
"Whore?", I asked.
Then he hits me again. And once again. I fall back to the bed, but I don't make a sound.
"Don't expect to eat in next two days", I hear him saying until he leaves.

Day 25

Being angry hasn't gotten me anywhere. But I won't start to woo Cheb either. Diplomacy, my good old friend, cannot be utilized, until I get rid off my anger, and start to approach Cheb with more neutral attitude. He was being serious not feeding me for two days. I feel tired and debilitated. And there isn't really anything else to do than sleep. If only I could sleep! I cannot so it's just me and the room, and all my wandering thoughts.

Suddenly I hear the door opening. Cheb enters the room again with a tray in his hands. I feel compelled to say something.
"They are going to find me, you know", I say.
He won't answer, I know.
"Once they find a motive, they will find the offender", I say again.
He leaves and it is me and the room again.

Day 26

Cheb enters the room and leaves a tray.
"Was anyone knocking at your door today?" I ask.
He leaves without saying a word.

Day 27

It's evening, and Cheb arrives like he usually does.
"Thanks", I say, once he leaves the tray on the floor. He doesn't even look at me.
"Worries?" I ask.
No answer.
"Wow… I guess all the happiness in the world didn't come even though you got me locked here. I assume it's just the opposite."
He leaves and I know he won't be back until tomorrow evening.

Day 29

I remember an old saying. I've been thinking about it a lot during the day. It goes:
"When I lost my money, a lost a little.
When I lost you, I lost a lot.
But when I lost my freedom, I lost everything."

True words. Of course I have never owned any money, so I couldn't really say what it would be like to lose it, but I think I could equate money to my other worldly possessions, like my status in Starfleet, etc. Losing my status is not a huge lost in the end of the day. This room has showed me as much, if anything.

"When I lost you, I lost a lot." Well, I could equate this to my family, and my former crew, but I'm not going to. I am more than ready to admit that I'm thinking about Chakotay the most when I hear that clause in my head. Because losing him is a big deal for me, he is the most important person for me. And if I ever get out of this hell hole, he's the one I'm going to run to. I just hope that if I get the chance to run to him, he won't turn away. Because I don't want to be apart from him again.

"But when I lost my freedom, I lost everything." I agree. Once one truly loses his freedom, everything worth living for is lost. What is left when the freedom is taken FROM you? Not much. Not much at all.

Day 32

"They are looking for a war veteran, now", Cheb tells me.
"Why?"
"Well, let's just say that there was a message send to media, which pretty much made everyone to understand, that someone deeply wounded by Dominion War has the precious admiral with him."
Cheb's words worry me, but at the same time he's giving me valuable information. First, I'm relieved that my family knows that I may very well be alive. Second, I know now that Cheb's been listening to me. This means that he can be manipulated in some extend. My task is to keep pushing. As unnoticed as possible, of course.

Day 37

"You do know that this is not going to last forever, don't you? Sooner or later this comes to an end."
"Yeah, it does", he admitted.
"Then stop this now", I ask.
"I'm not that stupid."
"Let me go, Cheb. You must realize that this is getting more difficult as the time goes by. Just let me leave and return to my own life. "
"Kathryn… you don't really expect me to be that stupid?"
"Let me go."
"You just don't know when to shut up", Cheb snaps. I can tell that he's gotten nervous.
"You don't have to do this to yourself. Let me go, let me walk out of that door, and this is all over."
"Kathryn… when the time comes for you to leave this room, you're going to be already dead."

Day 44

"You're ruining everything in my life! I hate you! I hate to come home because of you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
I don't know how many times Cheb repeated his words, but it was plenty. I was busy covering my head, and taking the painful kicks against my back and loins. I didn't scream, even though the pain was tremendous. Once he stopped and left, I stayed on the floor a long time. I could taste blood in my mouth.

He never told me what had made him angry. Maybe he had a lousy day at work. All I know that he came without a tray, ripped me off the bed by pulling me FROM the hair, and started kicking. I don't expect him to return next few days. I think at some level he wishes I would start to die in this room.

Day 46

Cheb brought me food. I didn't touch it until he was gone. I was starving, and the food smelled delicious. But it tasted funny. I didn't dare to take more than two or three bites. It was enough for me to end up being the next night at the bathroom, vomiting.

It's clear that he wants to get rid off me now. Once and for all. But he doesn't dare to do it with his own hands.

Day 47

Cheb wrote me a letter, and he slipped it under the door. It said:

"Kathryn,
why couldn't you just spend the rest of your days lost in another side of the galaxy? This planet was better place once you were gone, and no one cared a rat's ass about some fleet captain among the others. This goddess business around you has gotten too far. So some things are better to be forgotten, and you are one of those things to me. I'm done with you. I feel physically sick every time I come to your room. I don't want to see you again, but ironically, I have to. I have never learnt to hate anyone in my life as much as I have grown to hate you. I just wish you were still thousands of light-years away FROM this planet, where you should be. Isolated and forgotten."

"Then why the hell did you lock me up in this god forsaken room?" I whisper angrily. "Why didn't you just kill me in that hotel room of mine?"

The answer was obvious. Because he couldn't.

Day 54

Cheb entered the room with a tray. But he didn't put it on the floor immediately. He just stood there and stared me.
"What?", I ask.
"Nothing", he says and puts the tray on the floor.
"What?", I ask again.
"I met one of your friends today", he finally confessed.
"Who?" I ask. "Chakotay?"
"He was calmer than I expected. I assumed that there would have been more anger and rage boiling in Maquis terrorist's blood."
I didn't answer, but suddenly I started to laugh. I laughed of relief and joy, even though I am still a prisoner who lives in the mercy of Cheb.
"What's so funny?" I hear.
I contain my laughter, and wipe tears off my cheeks.
"The beginning of the end has just begun, Cheb, I say. "He is going to hunt you down. Believe me… he will".
"He is going to fail. There is no way he's able to track you down here."
"I wouldn't be so sure about it", I say. "I know Chakotay, and you don't".

Day 55

"You look tired, Cheb", I say.
"What ever".
Then he leaves. I sit down on the bed and wonder, if Cheb is going to kill me soon. He's tired of this; this is ruining his whole life. I have become greater burden he had ever imagined. And he's not letting me through that door until I'm dead. That is what he said, and I have no reason to think otherwise. I just hope Chakotay is moving quicker than Cheb is losing his vigor.

Day 56

I think about Chakotay all the time. Knowing he's out there has given me some reason to keep my head together, to hold on, even though every passing day in the room is eating me little by little. But Chakotay is out there. He is close. Just thinking about him makes me feel warm inside. This room has showed me what a fool I have been. In the end of the day, when all is said and done, protocol and procedures don't mean the damn thing.

The last day

I am tired and groggy. I suspect that instead of poisoning me, Cheb has put some tranquilizers in my food, just to keep me calmer and quieter. I get up and walk few circles in the middle of the room. Then I start to cry. I'm finished, almost totally yielded. I'm tired of fighting. I've already fought with all that I've got. I'm tired trying to stay alive. I've done that almost seven years straight, and I'm done with it. Life should be more than surviving.

Suddenly I see a ray of light coming behind the door. My heart leaps. I haven't seen such a sight before, not even once in this room. I run to the door and touch it carefully. I notice that it is open. The door is open! Unbelievable! I touch it with shaking hand, and the door moves. I open the door! It is really open! I'm getting out of the room!

I find myself on the short hallway. I try to find a door. My mind is so confused that I end up going circles. I find stairs, which lead to the basement. I go there, because I don't know what else do to. There I find a small window, just below the ceiling. I take a chair, get up on a table, and I hit the window with it. I don't have much strength left in me, so it takes few blows until I hear window breaking. I hear dog barking somewhere in the background. Once the window is broken, I climb. It's difficult, but I manage to get up there somehow. Then I feel fresh air on my face, and it moves me so deeply, that the tears begin to drop on my flushed cheeks.

Suddenly I see someone running in the distance ahead of me. It takes few seconds until I realize that the runner is someone familiar. It is Chakotay. A huge wave of happiness hits me. Once I get through the window, and on my feet, I start run towards him. He's here. He's near. I need to go to him.

When we reach each other, he takes me into his arms and squeezes me hard. It feels good. I feel extremely relieved. It's over. I'm out of the room, and I'm with Chakotay. I'm safe. And I have never felt more comforting in my life. The bird found her way back to the nest.
"Kathryn…" I hear him whisper.

I lift my head and without thinking about it, without over analyzing the situation, I press my lips against his. Then I kiss his cheek. And again. He smells so good. It's a familiar scent, most conforming. I see him smiling. He's happy, and so am I. I know for sure that I don't ever want to be apart from him again.

Epilogue

I hear ocean near, and I see sky above me. No walls anywhere just open space and fresh air. I love it.

"Try not to move of make funny faces, Kathryn" Phoebe commands.
"On come on!" I cry and roll my eyes.
"You don't hear Chakotay complaining", she says.
"You are almost worse that The Doctor", I say and smile.
"Did someone mention me?" I hear Doctor's voice.
"Come on, Kathryn. We don't have to go through this again," Chakotay reminds me. "This is one of those "once in a lifetime" things."
"All right, all right", I say and take a pose for one more time.

Cameras click simultaneously as they capture the moment, which is one of the highlights of the happiest day of my life.