Talk Ham To Me
"Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam."
Sam sighed, picking up the remote and turning the volume on the TV up to 26.
"Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam."
She pursed her lips, keeping her eyes trained on the TV and trying to ignore the annoyance.
"Sam. Sam. Sam."
Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. "WHAT, Spencer?! What? How can I help you?"
"Pay attention to me… Please… Let's go out," Spencer begged, giving Sam the puppy dog eyes. "I'm really hungry. Let's go to Chili My Bowl. C'mon."
Sam rolled her eyes, looking back to the TV. "No! I told you I wanna stay inside tonight. I'm going to watch TV for once without being bothered."
Spencer sighed, sitting back on the couch. He pouted, making Sam wonder why she was with him when he acted younger than her at times. But then, she knew he wouldn't be Spencer if he didn't act that way, and that's what she loved about him.
Still, though, he could be so annoying!
Just as she'd gotten back into the show, Spencer started talking again. He was determined.
"C'mon. You know you're hungry. We could go get dinner, and then we could get pie from Galini's…" he bribed.
Sam grunted. "Shut up."
"We could go get a ham dinner… Roasted, sliced, or maybe both…"
She swallowed loudly, trying to ignore him.
"I'll buy you a whole ham if you want - all to yourself! You can do whatever you want with it."
"Stop it," she demanded.
He smiled mischievously to himself, not about to quit. "Sam… Can't you hear it calling? It's the poor ham… about to eaten by someone else. It's saying, 'Sam, please, come spread mayonnaise on me! I wanna be in your tummy!'"
Sam rolled her eyes, trying not to imagine what Spencer was describing. This was getting harder and harder by the minute, though.
"And then we could have some of Galini's amazing pie… We haven't had any in so long. And it's so amazing – "
"Spencer! I'm trying to watch this, okay? It's the season finale, I would rather not miss it," Sam demanded, trying to get him to stop.
"All that ham, though… And bacon. Sausage. Pork… Ham," Spencer kept going, his voice getting lower. "Delicious, warm, soft ham, cooked to perfection just for you to eat – the whole thing to yourself, made just for you. So warm, and so.. ham-my."
"Fine!" Sam finally gave in, knowing she couldn't resist any longer. He was making her mouth water, and she couldn't not think about all the wonderful things he was describing. "We'll go eat. But I get to choose where, and you're paying for the entire ham I'm going to order."
Spencer smiled, beaming in triumph. "Yay! I knew you'd come to your senses. Let's go!"
He hopped up from the couch and practically skipped to the door. Sam hurriedly shut the TV off and got up, following him. She had given in to him again.
"I guess I'll just watch the show on the internet later," she thought aloud, sighing.
"You just can't resist me, huh?" Spencer smiled.
"It was the ham," she admitted. "I just can't resist when you start talking ham to me."
Spencer laughed, taking her hand in his and leaving the apartment, knowing he'd be paying more than $20 on Sam's meal alone tonight. But it was so worth it.
end.