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Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia

Chapter 1: The Summoning

"That bloody America, I'll teach him to mess with me!" England stomped down the basement of his house, still fuming about what happened when America dropped by just a while ago.

...

The bell rang once, twice and then repeatedly, practically forcing whoever inside to hurry it up and open. Arthur would know it was Alfred just by the obnoxious way he rang the bell. Grudgingly, he set down the book he was reading on the coffee table and quickly open the door, if only to stop the incessant noise.

"Hey England!"

"What are you doing here, you git? !" He half-screamed at the United States personification who by now had allowed himself in the house. WITHOUT. HIS. PERMISSION!

"Guess what? My boss gave me a vacation. A whole week! Can you believe it? I haven't had a vacation in years!"

"And why should I care if you have a vacation or not?" He folded his arms in an attempt to look irritated. America, failing the read the mood as ever, prattled on.

"I was gonna spend it maybe travelin' around Europe. You know, to sightseeing and all that. Oh and I'm gonna-"

"Then why the hell are you here and not sightseeing or whatever it is you have planned," he interrupted, wishing he could go back to reading that romance nove- er... classical literature book.

"I just feel like visiting you, since I'm in England and all," said Alfred, settling down on the couch and looking warily at the scones on the table.

"Well, now that you saw me, why not go and, oh I don't know, get on with your bloody tour."

America was clearly not listening and instead proceeded to eat the scones. England could not understand why in the world he would always eat the food he made and then complain later that they tasted like shit. Just to piss him off, it would seem. He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing circles on his temples to clear away the imminent migraine that settled whenever Alfred was present.

When he opened his eyes again though, the younger nation was flipping through his book with a glint of mischief in his eyes. That was not a good sign. Any expression other than the dumb 'hero look' on America would mean something bad was going to happen. And sure enough, a full smirk was on that detestable handsome face of Alfred. Did he just say 'handsome'? He meant 'annoying.' That's right, Alfred was annoying.

"You read this shit?" A cheeky expression settled on America's visage.

"It's classical literature, you twit! Something your empty head could never comprehend," he huffed and tried to pry the book from Alfred's grasp, only to have it jerked away.

"So Twilight is classical literature now? I didn't know that." Obnoxious chuckles were pelted at him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a string snapped.

"S-Shut up! I can read whatever the hell I want. Get out, you twit!" He snatched the book back and all but shoved the playful America out.

"You know, you could have told me that you were into this romance crap. I could send you a whole collection - with life-sized posters and Stephenie Mayer's signature," was all Alfred managed before having the door slammed at his face.

A blush of embarrassment colored Arthur's cheeks and he groaned at the thought that Alfred would spread this to everyone, including that damn France who most likely would tease him to death, if Alfred hadn't already.

The gears in his mind began turning. He would just have to silence Alfred before the fool had a chance to talk. His eyes narrowed with a sort of blood-thirsty look. Gingerly placing his book back into the very back of the bookshelf (he didn't want another incident like this to happen again) Arthur made his way to the basement, but not before fetching the black cloak from his closet (hey, if you're going to do some evil black magic, why not look the part?)

...

Which brought us to the present situation, with England holding some suspicious book and chanting an incantation to the magic circle. After a long string of what sounded like gibberish, the circle began glowing, signaling the appearance of what Arthur hoped was a demon from hell. "Please don't let it be Russia again!" was what he prayed for in his head.

"Who dare to summon I, the great Incubus Damian?"

"It worked! Yes! I rule!" He thought while giving himself a mental pat in the back, but then noticed something out of place. "Did he just say Incubus?"

"Yeah, I'm an incubus. Shouldn't you, like, already know that?"

A gasp came out followed by an almost comical reaction of surprise. "I didn't say that out loud, did I?"

"You didn't dude. I can read thoughts. It comes with being a demon, you know, since I'm one." Said demon began giving a 'no duh' expression at the still shocked nation in black cloak.

"W-Wait a minute! I tried to summon the Beelzebub, how did you come out instead?"

"I dunno. You suck at summoning?"

"Urgh, and just when I thought I was successful for once." He hunched in defeat.

"Don't worry dude, even though my specialty is seducing women, I can still do some magic. Just not the hard ones."

"Oh well, might as well make the best of this," he comforted himself.

"That's the spirit dude. Now, you wanna make a contract now? This is, like, my first time getting summoned so I'm not sure how this works."

"Great. Not only did I summon the wrong one, it's a novice one too."

"Hey, I heard that! Are all humans this rude?" The incubus huffed.

"Whatever... How do you make a contract?" Arthur asked with a resigned expression.

"Ooh! I learned this in demon school. I fulfill your wish, you give up something I want."

"Okay... What do you want?"

"What do you want? I gotta get something equally good depends on the wish."

"Then... what would be the price for getting revenge on someone?" He asked, then added, "But I don't want to kill him though. Just make it so he can't talk." Just the thought of Alfred being unable to speak could make him happy already. Imagine, no more world meeting filled with America's pig-headed, impossible ideas. No more annoying laughter coming out of that burger hole of his. What a paradise that would be.

"Err... I'm not sure actually. Since it's not that big a deal, I guess I'll just take... hmmm... I'm hungry now, so food I guess?"

"That's it? Food is all you are asking?" He quirked his eyebrow questioningly.

"Yeah, what's wrong with it. You should feel lucky, since this is my first summon, I'll give you a discount. Too bad you're not a pretty girl, otherwise I would ask for *BEEP* and have you do *BEEP* and *BEEP* while being *BEEP* HAHAHA"

Showing disgust at the extremely explicit details the incubus was currently showered him with, Arthur thanked the heavens that he was born a guy.

"Dude, even if you're born a girl, I wouldn't go for you, you know. I only like pretty girls, and those massive eyebrows are a turn off."

"S-Shut up! I have you know, I trim my eyebrows regularly."

"And it still looks like that?" The Incubus mocked while pointing at said eyebrows.

"That's beside the point. Can you proceed with the contract or not?" Arthur suppressed the urge to defend his eyebrows.

"Yeah, but give me food first."

"Fine, fine. Let's go to my kitchen, I should have some meat pies and scones left."

And to the kitchen they went. Things were going smoothly. Arthur gave the demon the meat pie that was meant to be dinner (but he figured he could forgo a meal in favor of his master plan), the demon happily began eating the food. But things went downhill the moment the pie reached the incubus' mouth.

"EWWWW dude what is this shit? Even Satan make better food than this, and I'm sure as hell he can't cook to save his life."

The demon immediately spit out the meat pie while Arthur stood there wondering what had gone wrong.

"That's weird. I made it like how I normally did. I thought it tastes good..."

"NO. Just no, dude. This is a deal breaker."

"B-But what about the contract? I gave you food," he pleaded.

"Aww... And I was looking forward to eating human food. All the other demons said it tastes good," the incubus sighed morosely, shaking his head in disappointment, "You should be punished for destroying this poor incubus' dream!" He glared at Arthur with blood-red eyes flashing in anger. Before the Englishman could react, an index finger had pointed his way and a blinding flash broke out. He screamed in terror as he felt a burning sensation all over his body.

And then everything faded to darkness...

Author: I have nothing against Twilight, just saying...