Author note: I have to say I was very disappointed in the handling of Juliet's character in 'The Incident'. She was out of character and making choices not consistent with her established self. The problem I had was how quickly she and Kate lost their backbones about the true desires of their respective hearts. They caved and allowed Jack to make the decision for them I would have much more like to have see Kate die as well because, like Juliet, she died spiritually. That really bugged me. I was as stunned as James when Juliet changed her mind about the bomb. The drama over the love quadrangle is a thorn in my side and had hoped we were done with it. Given her weakened state (character wise), I decided to write a bit of different take on her thought process as she was being pulled to her death.
Chains of Greif and Disbelief
There was a link for every time she doubted her happiness; a link for every time she doubted him; a link for every moment she gave her self over to the lack of self worth every man before him had drilled into her. The links add up. The chain is heavy and weighs her down; pulls her down.
There are links for her self hatred and guilt; the gravity well pulling her into, but ultimately not against her will, into a painful, well deserved, death.
She holds on, but not with any real desire to live. She looks into his eyes and sees his pain. Could he love them both? Maybe. But she would not be second choice ever again. Better to fall; fall into the pit of despair that the she had resisted these last three years.
Can she hate herself this much? Does she truly believe that she deserves this? Does that pain of her previous suitors and the guilt of leaving her sister really end here with a willing participant in death.
Perhaps it will be a sweet release; a lifting of the burdens she has bared so long. Silent blackness. Nothing. It would be better than this painful existence.
Why is she thinking this way? Why is she willing to walk, eyes open, with out resistance, to oblivion? What about the plan of erasing the past sounded good? Did she really want to forget? Surely forgetting the pain would be a blessing. But what about the love? What about the warmth of his arms and stubble of his chin. What about seeing the way a man changed; how a life of greed and the same self hatred she shared, had blossomed into a beautiful man of understanding and integrity? It was a beautiful thing.
He's crying now and she is slipping. The peace of her impending fate spreads across her face. She loves him so much, but cannot see, cannot believe that he loves her in the same way. He says: "I've got you! Hold one." But even as she's about to die, he doesn't confess love. Or did he? It doesn't matter now. She gave her fate to the wrong man; the one wanting to throw bombs and kill love.
It's close now. The pull of the energy is too strong. She can feel her finger tips clinging even as they slip free.
There is a link for rejecting love. A link for embracing chaos. A link for an unfathomable unwillingness to believe in freedom and a life of peace.
"I love you so much."
Goodbye, James.