" I just can't do this anymore. " Casey dug her hands into her hair.
" What can't you do anymore ? " Cappie demanded, turning on his heel and leveling her with a startlingly serious glare.
" I... " She hesitated, caught completely off guard by his stare, by his eyes boring into her, striping her down and baring her soul.
She felt suddenly naked and crossed her arms over her chest defensively.
" Say something. " He demanded, his tone rough, terse.
" I don't know what to say. " She said, dropping her eyes to the floor.
" Yeah, well, I can't do this anymore either. " He answered, digging his hands into the pockets of his jeans and stalking across the room restlessly.
" Oh, yeah, what can't you do anymore ? " She asked, venturing a step closer to him.
He reached out, almost touching her. Then dropped his hand back to his side, without saying a word.
Finally, he took a deep breath and stepped up so close to her she could feel his breath on her nearly bare shoulder. " Be honest with me. Please, right now, just tell me the truth. How do you feel when you see Rebbecca and I together ? "
She paused, considering moving away from him, turning on her heel and just leaving. But the air between them crackled with electricity, the tension so thick she could practically see it.
She shrugged. " I'm fine with you and Rebbecca. I think it's great that you've moved on. I want you to be happy. " But her eyes told a different story.
" You're lying to me. " He whispered, inclining his head to regard her move closely. " I can see it. "
" I'm not lying. " Finally, she found the strength to back away and she stepped to the bed where she perched on the edge.
" I'm giving her my lavaliere when we get back to school. " He said it quietly, like he didn't really want her to hear it and he was right. It was the last thing she wanted to hear. Then he turned to face her, locking his eyes into hers. " Unless you give me a reason not to go through with it. "
Her breath hitched in her chest, and she tucked her shaking hands behind her, afraid he would see them, afraid he would know how she felt.
" I can't give you a reason not to go through with it. " She answered, swallowing the lump in her throat and fighting back tears that were threatening to fall.
" Are you really doing this ? " He asked, stalking over to her and stopping with only an inch separating them.
" What am I doing, Cappie ? Letting you go. I already did that. " She said, jumping to her feet, her voice growing in volume with every word. " I let you go two years ago. "
" Did you ? " He demanded. " Did you really ? "
" I... of course I did. " She wasn't sure what she was saying anymore. The heat between them grew in intensity, causing the words she wanted to say to short circuit before they reached her lips. She felt out of control and she knew how dangerous that was around him.
She couldn't afford to lose control with him, couldn't afford to say what she really wanted, what she really thought. She wouldn't go through it again. She couldn't live through losing him again.
He stepped around her and moved to the door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob, then he turned back to her one last time. " This is it, Casey. There will never be another chance. Once I leave here tonight, this is over. " His words startled her, making her heartbeat leap. Could she really just let him walk out ? " So, tell me, one more time, how do you feel when you see Rebbecca and I together ? "
" I don't like it ! " She yelled. " I hate it. Are you happy now ? "
" Why ? " He had dropped his hand from the knob and was looking at her with eye lit by blue flames.
" Because I hate her. " She managed.
" Why can't you just tell me the truth ? What is so wrong with being honest with me ? " He blew out an exasperated breath. " Tell me the real reason you hate it, Case. "
She dropped her eyes again, wanting to run, to flee from the confrontation raging between them. She bit down on her tongue to keep from yelling at him. But he was relentless, moving back to her and standing over her, looking down into her face, refusing to let her escape what was happening.
" Just say it, Casey. " He pushed.
She shook her head and tried to take a step back. " Cappie, please. We can' t do this. "
" We can do this. All you have to do is say it. " He argued, as he followed her movement, not letting her expand the inches between their bodies.
" Okay, enough. " She yelled finally. " I think it's time you left. "
" I'm not going anywhere. I won't let you do this. Tell me the truth. " He answered, his voice nearly booming, his body, so strong and unyielding almost pressing against her now.
She felt the bed against the back of her knees. There was no where for her to run now. Behind her was the bed, in front of her was him. " You need to go. " She hissed angrily. " Just get out. "
" Not until you say it. " He spat
back just as angry. " Not until you say it. "
" I can't do
that. " She bellowed, feeling herself losing whatever grip she had
left on her senses.
" Yes, you can. " He answered at the same volume. " Tell me the truth. "
She couldn't fight him and herself anymore. It was too much. Her eyes darted looking for an escape but she found none. " I told you to get out ! " She yelled, her tight fist twisting in his shirt, trying to push him away as tears ran freely down her cheeks.
His face was dark, and she had seen that look before. She knew it far too well and panic struck her. He wanted her, wanted her so desperately he was barely controlling himself. She was helpless, terrified that any moment she would burst and tell him exactly what he wanted to hear.
" Stop fighting me. " He demanded, loudly. " Stop fighting yourself. This doesn't have to be so hard. Just tell me how you really feel. "
" Why don't you tell me ? " She yelled back at him. " You've never been honest with me. Never had the nerve to say how you really felt. So you tell me. You say it. "
He stepped back, clearly stung by her words and she took the opportunity to flee to the other side of the bed, putting it securely between them.
" I love you. " He said, finally, his voice suddenly quiet, his face calm. " I've always loved you. It's always been you, Casey. It'll always be you. "
She stopped, her entire body halting instantly.
He looked vulnerable, almost child-like in his uncertainty. Then, suddenly the dark look was back.
And she gulped as he stalked to her. " Now it's your turn. Tell me how you feel. Tell me the truth. "
" Cappie, we can't do this. " She continued to deny herself what she really wanted, refused to say what he wanted to hear. She couldn't do it again. She just couldn't do it.
" We can do this. We can make it work this time. We're different people now. The only thing that hasn't changed is how much I love you. " He touched her shoulder, the back of his fingers resting against her bare skin. " How much I want you. "
" Damn it, Cappie. Stop. " She yelled again.
" What is wrong with you ? " He returned, suddenly with her shoulder cupped in his hands, his fingers digging into her skin. " You stop. Stop this. It's making us both miserable. "
" I'm not miserable. "
" Yes, you are. Say it, Casey. Say it and end this. "
She shook her head, trying with all her might not to notice the feel of his hand on her body.
" Say it. " He bellowed at her, his face strained, his eyes blazing.
" No, I can't. I can't hurt like that again. " She cried on the verge of tumbling into him.
" I won't hurt you. I will never hurt you again. Please, Casey, Please, I begging you. Just say it ! "
" I LOVE YOU. " She screamed at the top of her lungs, unable to hold back any longer. Then she was sobbing in his arms.
It took her all her courage but she finally looked into his face.
She only managed a split second glance before his lips were on hers, devouring her with his intensity.
She gasped, moaning into his mouth as she felt his seeking tongue begging for entrance. Then he was tasting her, his breath scalding her from the inside out with its heat.
His hands grasped her, clutching at her frantically as he held her so tightly against him she hardly had room to draw in a full breath.
" God, " She groaned when his mouth moved down the line of her jaw, trailing kissing down until he reached the top of her shirt.
Then he yanked it aside a trifle roughly causing her to yelp in surprise.
" Sorry, " He murmured against the swell of her breast. " I just need you so bad. "
Agreeing with his sentiment, she reached to the bottom of her shirt and roughly cast it over her head, letting it fall to the floor, forgotten.
He leaned back, taking in the sight of her, and she took the opportunity to tear his shirt from the waistband of his jeans, letting it join hers somewhere at her feet.
She wasted no time, attacking his chest the moment it was bared to her, reveling in the familiar taste of his skin under her lips.
He tossed his back and groaned, the sound a deep rumbling vibrating his entire body, or perhaps he was shaking with his need of her, she didn't know and didn't care. All she knew was she was finally getting what she had wanted, needed for so very long.
He cupped her chin, dragging her lips back to his for another searing kiss that she felt all the way down to her toes.
" I love you. " He whispered into her mouth. " God, I love you. "
Then he was back at her throat, sucking at the sweat-covered, salty skin of her neck.
His hands moved down her sides, grazing the skin with his burning touch. He stooped low enough to grasp her behind the knees and suddenly she was in the air, her legs instinctively circling his waist.
He gasped and nearly stumbled with her in his arms when she ground her hips against his, enjoying the feel of his hard body so entwined with hers.
He moved over to the nearby bed with her still holding to his body in helpless need. And the next thing she knew he was over her, resting on his knees and elbows to alleviate some of his weight. The rest was pushing down on her so gloriously, she pulled him closer wanting more, needing to feel his skin against hers, his weight on top of her.
She felt feverish as his took first on breast, then the other into his mouth, lavishing it with with tongue and brushing his teeth across her straining nipple. There was no pause in his onslaught as he went next to the valley between her breast, sucking the flesh there in a way he knew drove her crazy.
Her back arched, driving her body into his, seeking more of what it needed without conscious thought.
This was different than it usually was with Cappie. Usually there was merriment and a light care free atmosphere filled with laughter and fun. Sex with Cappie was always fun. He loved the brush his fingers up her sides, causing her to erupt into fits of giggles as he tickled her mercilessly. He loved to tease her, driving her insane with his ever patient mouth and hands. But there was none of that now. The need between them was too great, the time spent apart too much.
All they both wanted right then was closure, to end the torture they had forced upon themselves by staying apart.
Before she knew what was happening, he had disposed of her skirt and panties, leaving her naked before him.
As she opened her eyes, she saw him struggling with the buttons on his jeans, tearing at them fruitlessly.
She reached up a trembling hand and brushed his away as she took over and managed to slid the buttons through the material, slowly, revealing the prize underneath one agonizing inch at a time.
His chest heaved as he watched her hands move over the last barrier between them, and as soon as she popped the last button through the hole, he leaned back and tugged them off, tossing them to the now complete pile of clothing beside the bed.
She ran her fingertips over his chest, staring up at him in utter delight. She was just like she remembered. His body perfectly sculpted and flawless under her hand. The hard planes of his chest felt marvelous as she took her time, re-familiarizing herself with him.
With an impatient groan, he pushed her hand away and buried his head in the hair, covering her with his strength.
" Later, " He ground out between gritted teeth into her ear. " We have all night for that. "
She nodded in understanding, her own passion getting the better of her as well and she wrapped her legs, once again, around his waist in a wanton gesture that told him she felt exactly the same.
" Now, " She breath, tossing her head back to the pillows and granted his searching mouth access to her throat.
" Now " He agreed and with a surge of his hips, he was inside her. There was no fumbling, no need to shift her hips under him. It was as if both their bodies knew what they wanted and took it.
And as he filled her completely, as if he were made to fit, she had an overwhelming sense that she was home, finally, she was home.
He pulled back causing her to whimper and raise her hips to keep the contact. Then he rushed back in, setting a pace that, again wasn't normal for them. It was desperate, fierce and raging. Not the usual lingering, languid pace that was their routine when they were together.
They rocked wildly against each other, sweat covering their bodies, groans filling the room around them.
Nothing else existed beyond him and how he was making her feel.
She breathed in deeply, bringing his scent into her. Her hands slid around his neck urgently keeping him as close as she possibly could.
His hands seared her back, burning her flesh everywhere he touched her, crushing her into his panting chest.
Their movements were frantic, yet perfectly in sync as they drove against each other almost violently in their demanding need for release.
Then suddenly, her body tensed as she screamed out his name and all her surroundings seemed to fade away as she fell. The only thing she was aware of was his accompanying scream as he joined her, staying right by her side as they plunged head first into the abyss of ecstasy.
Several moments later, she blinked her eyes open, feeling him kissing her with a tenderness she hadn't felt in years.
" I love you. " She told him, brushing a strand of hair from his brow.
" I love you, too, Casey. I've always loved you. " He answered, rolling to his side, bringing her with him.
She settled into the crock of his arm. " Do you really think we can do this again ? " All her doubts now returning with the lack of passion urging her onward.
He leaned forward and tucked his arm behind his head, his other hand circling her waist, holding her against him as if he were afraid she'd run away the first chance she got. " I know we can do this. I've changed, Casey. So have you. We aren't the same people we were in Freshman year. "
" But what happens when you leave me waiting for you while you play with your friends again ? You haven't changed that much, Cappie. "
" Yeah, I have. And like I said, so have you. This time, when I screw up and you know I will, you will let me know. Probably very loudly. But you won't just sit there and take it quietly without saying a word. And I promise to be there for you, to put you first. " He explained, planting a soft kiss to her forehead.
" I want to be with you. I want it more than anything. No one else has ever felt right for me, but I can't take losing you again. " She answered, raising up and hovering over his chest so she could see his eyes.
" You won't lose me again. Never, not if I can help it. "
And she kissed, letting herself believe that he was right.