Okay so this is my first fic. It's a Paddison because in my opinion, they're hot together. Enjoy! :)

If Only

Chapter 1:

"If you go now, we don't have a chance. We don't have a chance, if you go now. If you go…"

Addison sat in her wooden beach chair, staring off into the distance. She heard her desperate pleas run through her head for what seemed like the millionth time. But now, this time, it was different. She didn't feel pain. She didn't regret what she'd done. She felt perfectly content with her decision. For the first time in her life, Addison Forbes Montgomery, was free of remorse.

The night was fresh, cool, and absolutely perfect. She couldn't ask for anything more. She sipped her red wine peacefully, thinking of her past. She'd always been the girl to follow the rules. Perfect straight A student, always looked flawless, she went to med school like she'd always dreamed of doing and married the perfect guy. Her life had been so predictable. She still couldn't understand how one night could change all of that, but she wasn't fazed by it. The night with Mark made her realize that she could be so perfectly imperfect, and be all right with her flaws. Being the best at everything was so exhausting. Mark had always been the one to teach her new things, but he had moved on, and so had she. Now some crazy voodoo, tea obsessed, acupuncture healing hippy had changed her. He became her best friend within days. It was amazing how such a friendship could develop after an incredible kiss in a stairwell. Everything started moving so quickly after that. She moved to L.A. for a reason she claims is because she needed a change. A part of her still won't allow her to admit she moved in the hopes to develop a relationship with him. How crazy they would think she is! Now, just a week after he stood her up, she sat heart-broken watching the waves crash along the shore. He's tried to call too many times to count, but she can't bring herself to pick up the phone. Addison wants so unbelievably bad to talk to him, but how could she? She was afraid she'd blurt something out, and hurt him. That was the last thing she wished. So she held her stare, waiting, wishing, and praying the phone would finally stop. She'd gone out on a date with Kevin, a man her best friend referred to as "Hot Cop." She's tried dating another man, whom she couldn't and didn't exactly wish to remember. He referred to himself as, "Trunk," and was one of Violet's, the practice's psychiatrist's, patients. That's all she could recall. But no one would measure up to Pete. Addison knew it, her friends knew it, and even Charlotte King knew it! If only she knew a way to get back to the way things were. If only she were able to go back to making out on countertops, spontaneous kisses on the beach, and whispering cute sayings in the others ear. Oh, how she wished she could get back to that place.

Finally she gave up. Grasping the phone firmly in her hand, she answered coyly.

"Hello"?

"Addison! Addie, please… Don't hang up. I've tried to call you-"

"I know. My phone hasn't had a freaking break in god knows how long. What do you want Pete? I'm really not in the mood for a friendly chat here."

Her response came out much more harshly than intended, but she decided to go with it. For once, she needed to hold her ground.

"Addie-"

"Don't call me that," she interrupter unpleasantly.

"Dr. Montgomery?" he asked shyly, but she could hear him smirking.

"Now you're just being annoying. What do you want"?

"You. I want to be with you. I didn't get to tell you why I didn't show the other night. Please…Uh… Ma'am, give me a chance to explain."

"Now you just make me sound old. Thanks." The smile grew on her face; she knew she was blowing it. He just made her all bright and shiny inside, she just couldn't help it. "Fine. Tomorrow at the Ivy, be there at 9:30. And Wilder, don't be late."

"Will do Red."

She smirked to herself as she hung up the phone. She did it; she didn't quit. This was going to happen for her. Addison Montgomery was going to get her happy ending, even if she had to work for years until she got there. Pete had to be the man she wanted to marry. She could feel it.

Please comment and tell me what you think!