It gets better

This paper peeling off the walls

I see the paint from yesteryear

We try to cover up the past

But tiny secrets still appear

So please don't say it gets better,

It gets better, it gets better every time

I'm not better, we're not better, even after all this time.

She lets her fingertips brush against the metallic walls. Rust now covers them, rough against ther skin. Her eyes close, she keeps on walking, her feet guiding her through the corridors. Her senses are dull as the memories flood her mind. She doesn't feel the tears that run down her cheeks, she doesn't feel the cold of the night bite through her thin clothes. She doesn't smell the faint smoke coming from outside, she doesn't hear the echo of her footsteps. She doesn't care. A ghost haunting the empty halls of its life.

Years have gone by. The pain still clutches her heart. It never went away. She is tired, tired of fighting, tired of surviving. She has long forgotten what living means. She smiles, laughs sometimes, but her eyes remain dead. She hides. Her face is nothing more than a mask she wears around people. She is strong for them, she is brave for them. It is only thanks to -or maybe because of- them that she keeps on going, that she hasn't already joined him.

The kitchen floor is a checkerboard

We tried to end this game for years

The tiles are cracked, the colour's changed

The battleground is all but cleared

So please don't say it gets better,

It gets better, it gets better every time

I'm not better, we're not better, even after all this time.

Peace was their dream. She had to make it real without him. She overcame every obstacle thrown in her way.

Bitterness overwhelms her. He left her. He made her go through the immense suffering again. His fault. Her hand balls into a fist. He was her constant just as she was his. But he left her. Alone and lonely.

Caught in the cob webs

Memories linger in these rooms

Under the floorboards

Sweeping the stories we outgrew

She never got the time to say goodbye. She remembers his chest, covered in blood. She remembers his wavering smile, the tremors in his muscles, his hand searching for hers. She remembers taking him in her arms, soothing him away from her world.

She forgot about friendly arms praying her away from his cold body hours after. She forgot about washing her hands over and over to get the dried blood off. She forgot about going in the forest and sitting by the Eden Tree, alone.

She forgot his face.

She forgot the way his boyish smile made him look years younger. She forgot how his hair looked after a shared night. She forgot the sound of his voice when telling her the name of the constellations.

That's what hurt the most. Time made her forget.

It's not a place to call a home

Just a place we've been for years

The garden weeds have overgrown

We've overstayed our welcome here

So please don't say it gets better,

It gets better, it gets better every time

I'm not better, we're not better, even after all this time.

It gets better, it gets better, it gets better every time.

I'm not better, we're not better, even after all this time.

Nothing looks the same anymore. Children have grown, elders have passed away. Yet, she stays here, among strangers she has known for years. She is homeless. Home was his arms. Home was her head nested against his chest. Home was the warmth spreading from his body to hers.

It doesn't get better, it gets worse. It gets worse, over time.

First songfic I've written in a while, I would love to know what you think about it !