Maybe- one-shot
Maybe they did catch me. I don't care. It was their own damn fault I'm like this. Their own damn fault I went through everything. Their own damn fault that the obvious was in front of them all along , and they turned a blind eye. I was suppose to suffer. I was the poor orphan who was to save them from the one they feared to even speak of. Pathetic. If you can't say his name, why would you even bother to fight him. If you fear him that much, just surrender. Really, maybe they are being immature. They burdened me. A newly 16 year old kid, fighting the darkest and 2nd most powerful wizard of all time. Yeah…. Right.
Maybe they were right about something. That doesn't make things better.
Honestly, they should have seen. Was it not obvious enough? I wore long sleeve sweatshirts all summer long, yet they never thought to check my wrists for slashes, to check to see if I was eating. To come into my room at night when I screamed at night. Nightmares helped preserve the dark circles under my eyes. They said to give me time, I was in mourning. I wouldn't talk, they didn't ask. Didn't talk. Not once. Isn't that a sign?
and the only thing that gives them a clue is actually catching me with a knife to my skin? Not that I let this stop me. I've been through enough. But I don't want to die ….yet. I have a job to do. I have to kill the bastard who has found a hobby in killing off everyone I love.
But, it's a relief. The knife cutting into flesh. The blood, I control it. If I want it, it comes. It flows for Sirius, not for mourning really, but a tribute. For mum and dad. And for what I went through at the Dursley's Hiding how hungry I was. Now I can control how hungry I am. When I deserve to eat. Its my self punishment. It's my fault they are dead. Because I became attached to them. Voldemort, bloody hell, he is…. An evil genius. In the worst way. He ruined my life in more ways than he knows.
last year, he made me look insane. Drove me insane, more like. Now this year, all eyes are on me. The Chosen One. The damn prophecy boy, who maybe, just maybe, maybe will get lucky and kill off the guy they are to scared to kill of themselves. I hate it. I hate them. I hate myself. I hate myself for hating them. It's a vicious circle.
Now Molly is talking to me. I haven't heard a word she has said. Something about how I can't blame myself for what happened to Sirius. Well, I wasn't but thanks for putting the thought in my head, I'll be sure to consider it. Maybe she is trying to make me feel better.
It's not me I'm doing this for. So I handle the pressure with a blade. So what? It's for them. For all of them.
"I love you like my own, Harry." she's hugging me.
It's then I realize that, though my eye are tearing only slightly, tears are streaming down her face, onto my shoulder. I did that to her.
Maybe, just maybe, I am. Maybe I'll stay strong for them. Maybe I'll stop this. Maybe, If I live through everything, not that I expect to, but If I do, I'll look back and realize how stupid I was, I am. I'm being stupid.
"I love you too." I whisper. I let one silent tear roll down my check.