Note From The Author—I'm just barely dipping my toes into this pool. I'm sure this won't be an incredibly popular story as the fandom is fiercely loyal to the Danny/Lindsay pairing. I can deal with that, but I ask you to at least give it a chance, as I'm still rooting for Danny and Lindsay, but exploring other options as things seem to be falling down around our ears This is a more serious companion to New Beginnings, taking a closer look at the relationship Stella was musing over. Thank you
Disclaimer—I don't own the characters of CSI: NY
Looking back, she could say it really started when he called her Montana. It probably should have upset her as it was a reminder of what had so recently fallen apart. Instead it made her realize that she'd missed hearing it and had missed the simple friendship that had initially come along with it. So she was honest with him, and told him that she didn't mind, that she'd missed it, and they had gone back to trying to save the world.
She asked Mac to try not to put her on cases with Danny. She was still too weary, the wound too raw to work with him on a daily basis. As a result she'd ended up working with Hawkes more and more. They had always been friends, but working with each other on a consistent basis got them talking more and more, and especially after she found out about Danny's indiscretions, she needed someone to confide in. She loved Stella and Flack, but both of their tempers tended to run too high for that to be a good idea, and Flack was Danny's best friend. She didn't know Angell or Adam well enough and Sid seemed like a bad idea; Mac was entirely out of the question.
Hawkes seemed the logical choice. Their friendship had grown in the months since she had walked away from Danny, and she knew she could count on him to be discrete. Of course, he was furious when she told him. But when she talked him down from the desire to maim and explained that she just needed someone to talk to he had listened. And when her emotions bubbled over, he held her as she cried.
It was different from that moment on. He had been there for her when she most craved a friend, and had done what she needed with little question. Their friendship grew stronger as the weeks progressed after that night, and before long they found themselves spending more and more time together outside the lab. It was completely innocent; they simply enjoyed each other's company and he slowly helped her heal.
Danny wasn't happy about it but then he didn't have to be. He simply chose not to come around when the group went out, not after spending one night driving himself crazy wondering if there was something more going on between them. He knew he had royally screwed up, and he couldn't blame her for not giving him another chance. Even though he knew it, he couldn't bring himself to be around them. Maybe he'd be able to one day, but for now it hurt too much.
It was almost four months before Lindsay realized Hawkes had less than platonic feelings for her. Panicked, terrified of losing another friend she had confronted him about it. He was refreshingly honest about the entire thing. Yes, he had feelings for her, but their friendship was more important than that. He told her that it wouldn't matter if she was never ready to try again at a relationship, he would be her friend no matter what. But he didn't lie, didn't deny the feelings or the fact that he would hold out hope for more. She was so grateful for that.
As time passed she felt something building. She began to feel a pure happiness when she looked up to find deep brown eyes watching her. She looked forward to their movie nights and cases they worked together; and the day she felt one tiny butterfly flutter in her stomach when their hands brushed, she knew that there was potential. It was going to take time for her heart to mend; she knew that all too well. But she also knew that when she was finally ready, when she could finally put her heart out on the line again, this amazing man who had been her friend and confidante through a black period in her life, would be waiting for her, and she could fall in love.