Reconnecting
Sequel to "Reconnection, Ziva version"
A/N: Set about ten days after the events of "Aliyah". Spoilers for the last four episodes of season six.
In "Aliyah", we saw Tony close his phone and then the scene changed to show us Ziva, but it doesn't mean that both events happened at the same time. For the purpose of this story, a few days elapse between Gibbs' conversation with Vance and Ziva's capture.
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Leroy Jethro Gibbs was sitting in his basement, eyes fixed on the spot where, up to ten days before, the "Kelly" had been.
She was now at the marina, getting ready to be furbished, but at the moment Gibbs' thought weren't for his boat.
He was thinking of the many things that had happened in his basement while he was working on her.
He remembered the evening Ziva had killed Ari, his shock upon seeing the renegade Mossad officer collapse at his feet with a hole in his head—a fitting punishment for what he had done to Kate – and the compassion he had felt when he had realized how much pulling the trigger had cost the young woman.
He remembered his return from Mexico, his surprise in discovering Ziva had been hiding in his house and the uncharacteristic, unrestrained way she had embraced him as she thanked him for coming to help her.
He remembered the night he had revealed his vampire nature and love to Ziva and the mixture of awe and joy he had felt when she had offered herself – her heart, her body, her love, her blood – to him.
He remembered the long hours spent working together on the boat, talking and making projects for the future, and the times they had made love beneath the hull or fucked against the craft's smooth wood surface.
He remembered the evening after Jen's funeral, Ziva's whispered words, "I'll leave tomorrow morning," and his fierce reply, "I'll find a way to bring you back, I swear it," before they had loved each other for the last time in God-only-knew how long.
He remembered the energetic and passionate "welcome back" he had given Ziva after her return to NCIS—and to him. It had been a good thing it had been Friday night and they had not been on call on for the weekend, because the next day they had both walked funny.
Gibbs returned to the present and gulped down his glass of bourbon. The liquid was a poor substitute for what he really wanted to taste now: Ziva's blood. Warm, tasty, rich and given with love and trust.
He closed his eyes as what was becoming a sadly familiar pain seized his chest as he thought of his mate.
How could things go so wrong and so quickly? he wondered for the umpteenth time since his return from Tel Aviv.
Up to three weeks ago, he had been one of the happiest men alive. He had had everything he could ask for…should he have sensed it wasn't going to last?
His gut had churned in foreboding when Vance had sent him to Los Angeles, but he had thought it was due to the fact he would have to face Macy again. She was a smart woman and as much a mastiff as he was. He had been resigned to have to work with her, but he hadn't wanted to take Ziva with him because he hadn't wanted to bring their relationships, both the working and the private one, under Macy or Callen's scrutiny.
Now he wondered if his gut hadn't instead tried to alert him about Rivkin's reappearance in Ziva's life.
He closed his eyes as questions filled his mind.
Why hadn't she talked to him about Rivkin?
Why hadn't she come to him when it became clear Rivkin had been involved in Abin Tabal's death?
Why hadn't she trusted him?
Why she had she given him an ultimatum in Tel Aviv?
And why, most of all, had he chosen Tony over the woman he loved, the custodian of his most guarded secret?
The answer to the last question was simple enough.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs had served and protected the United States of America since he had joined the Marines at age eighteen. He had fought, killed, shed blood and lost friends for his country. In a way, he had even lost his family for America, because Shannon wouldn't have witnessed the murder of a Marine if she hadn't been living with him on a Marine base where he had served.
There was no way he could have put his feelings, desires and needs before his duty to his country. There was no way he could have chosen a foreign operative, divided between her loyalty to her father and Mossad and her loyalty to him and NCIS, over an agent that was completely faithful to NCIS and America.
Also, how could have he abandoned Tony when he was partially responsible for the mess DiNozzo had ended up in?
He had noticed Ziva was behaving strangely. They hadn't seen each other in private since his return from LA and some of the excuses she had found not to visit him had been unconvincing.
Torn between his desire to trust Ziva as her lover and his need to know what was going on as her boss, he had compromised and told Tony to stay on Rivkin, although he hadn't predicted what was going to happened.
Gibbs knew there had been no second ends in Tony's actions. He had been impulsive, acting more like a friend than an agent, but he hadn't been jealous as Eli David had accused him of. He had been the jealous one in all that mess, even if he couldn't believe Ziva had cheated on him with Rivkin, not after all the plans they had made for the future.
//I didn't cheat on you, Jethro,// Ziva's voice seemed to say in his mind. //My father has always been fixated on the idea that Tony and I were lovers. It goes back to the time when you were in Mexico and I often went to visit him after dinner, to discuss work or spend a few hours as friends. My father had people spy on me back then. As for Rivkin, my father would have loved to see him as my husband and the father of my children—he wants a male heir. I just played along because I wanted to protect what we have together. I love you Jethro, and as soon as I'm done with this I'll come home and tell and show you again, I promise.//
The voice in his head quieted and Gibbs frowned, looking at the bottle of bourbon with suspicion. He had drunk less since he and Ziva had gotten together – not that he had ever been a heavy drinker – and he now wondered if his tolerance to alcohol had decreased, causing him to become inebriated sooner than in the past.
He sighed as he poured himself another shot of bourbon. In a way, he hoped to get drunk and forget what Vance had told him that morning, which was the reason he had started drinking in the first place.
"She saved your life by shooting and killing her half-brother. Ari was out of control, so Ziva's father sent her to eliminate him. She kills Ari, earns your trust. Two birds, one bullet. Eli played you."
Gibbs didn't want to believe Vance's words. He couldn't, wouldn't believe his relationship with Ziva, first as boss and subordinate, then as mentor and pupil and then as friends and finally as lovers could be based on a lie.
//And you are right, Jethro. It wasn't a lie.// the Ziva-like voice in his head answered. //My father's orders were to help Ari leave America and prevent you from killing him. I made the decision to kill him. I decided a good man's life was more important that the life of the brother I still loved but couldn't recognize anymore. It was the hardest decision I've ever made—and I never regretted it.//
He smirked, swallowed his bourbon and shook his head. Alcohol had never had such effect on him, but since he was at it, he decided to indulge the "voice" in his head a bit longer.
"Then how could Vance know about it?" he asked aloud and his voice echoed in the mostly empty basement.
//I suspect my father read between the lines – or should I say lies? – in your report about Ari's death. He never confronted me about it, but knowing him, he decided the information could one day turn useful.//
"Useful?"
//Jethro, my father wants nothing more than to destroy my loyalty to you! He wants me to serve only him and Mossad. He told me while we were in Tel Aviv. But I promise you, this mission will be the last one! As I told you, I need to trust the people I work with—and I no longer trust my father.//
"And Tony?"
//Tony I can trust…because I trust you and you trust him.//
"Then why that scene at the airport, Ziver?" Gibbs exclaimed angrily, slamming the glass down on the workbench top.
//Because my father had asked me to do something and I felt it was my duty as a daughter to do it. I was sure that if you knew, you would have gone toe to toe with him and I didn't want that. So I put you in front of an impossible decision, fully knowing how you would react.//
"You knew I'd choose to leave you behind?" he was shocked.
//Yes. I know you, Jethro. I knew you would have left me behind to give me time to clear my mind and decide what I wanted or with whom I wanted to be. It's how you are on the job—you never give us easy answers, you want us to figure them out by ourselves.//
Gibbs grunted. It was a fair enough answer…
"Of course it is!" he snapped aloud. "I'm having this conversation with myself, supplying all the answers I want to hear."
He stood up and swayed. He was indeed drunker than he thought. Time to go to bed. Maybe this time he would be able to sleep for the whole night without waking up looking for Ziva at his side.
Maybe…
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