Don't you think it's unfair for us, Ea?
I've told you everything I knew—my name (not my real one, though…), my hobbies, my favorite words, my jobs, everything that related to me…
…yet, you never told me all about you. Not a single thing.
Unfair, wasn't it?
Oo—O—oO
Fair and Unfair Things
Oo—O—oO
Genre: Hurt/Comfort – Friendship
Rate: T
Warning: One-shot, lots of shonen ai hints, trying not to make them OOC, and grammar mistakes.
Disclaimer: 07-Ghost belongs to Yuki Amemiya and Yukino Ichihara.
Listening to: Sen no Yoru wo Koete (© Aqua Timez)
Beta-ed by: Soul Vrazy; thank you ve~ry much!
Oo—O—oO
Your warmth that steals everything -
I longed for them, I searched for them
Even though they're illusions.
[Koe© Tsukiko Amano]
Oo—O—oO
You were always like that; stared at me like I was the weirdest thing you ever saw in your life. And I hate it whenever you wore that poker face of yours—so annoying, covering the real you without letting anyone knew about it.
Let me took it off for you, okay, Ea?
#
"Get out of here , you loafer! I'm not in the mood today—and don't sit on top of that," you said with frown on your face. But I kept smiling like a child; I prefer to smile everyday than to wear that annoying poker face like you. And—didn't you realize that your face would become more beautiful than ever if you smiled a bit to me, Ea?
"Eeh?! But, if you don't show the Book of Hades, you'll meet an unfortunate ending by fostering this loafer! And here I am, bringing you present properly!"
And didn't you realize that I really was threatening you that time? It's not a mere joke like what you've thought about all this time—it's a serious one, even though my voice was the childish one.
I want to know everything about you.
Even though you told me not to follow you, I'd follow you everywhere until I got my answer.
And here I was, standing in front of the bookshelves in the military library; searching for the answer I hadn't found yet for a long time. There're too many books here. I've been searching for almost three hours, and I haven't find anything about you—yet. From Barsburg Clan history, it's list of member (and I find the book with pictures, but it's so thick and dusty and worn out already until I had to be extremely careful so I'd not destroy it accidentally), and everything about Barsburg Clan that rules this country.
When I flipped the book page, my eyes widened.
I've found you.
Karu Barsburg; died from poisoning at young age. Born on May 3rd. If you didn't die young, you'd have a high position in the government.
And that's why you were poisoned, Ea.
But that's all the information I found in this book.
Damn them ... Did not they often are concerned and kind to a beautiful person such as your?.
I wasn't satisfied yet with the answer I found in the library. I'd search everything about you again, no matter how long it'd be.
That included your current where abouts, of course.
"Colonel Katsuragi!"
I turned my head to see who's the one that calls my name. Ah, it's Konatsu. I should've recognized him from his voice.
You're filling my mind until I couldn't think anything else beside you, you know?
"What's wrong? Does he make a ruckus again, Konatsu?" The one I mentioned here was Hyuuga Ayanami's closest subordinate, member of Black Hawks like me who always wore black glasses, and this blond-boy's superior. And I hate him, but I didn't know why too. Because of his carefree attitude, maybe?
…I wondered what'd you say if you know about this, Ea. Déjà vu, wasn't it?
"N-no—don't you remember about today's agenda?"
"…no. I've been a forgetful person lately." And I'd sue you because of this, Ea.
"This is the time for meeting, Colonel—you're late for almost ten minutes."
I froze. I knew I've said it before, but let me repeat it one more time so you'd be able to understand it.
Damn you, Ea!
.
"Arara~ It's not a usual thing for you to be late in an important meeting like this, Colonel~ Something troubling you right now?"
Can't he, at least, keeping that for himself? He's so damn annoying. And I didn't want to talk again with anyone after we arrived late at the room—even with the innocent Konatsu and Kuroyuri, who stared at me with curious glances. I would keep silent for the rest of the meeting, waiting for this boring time to end and found the other answers about you that I haven't found yet.
And I was just realized that General Miroku's mysterious begleiter was standing silently beside him.
Come to think of it, he kind of reminded me about you, you know?
Bandage around his upper face, dark hair, stoic face, and that kind of voice—
"You're spacing out again, Colonel~"
-I'd definitelykill this annoying, talkative man later.
What'd you say about this if you were here, I wonder?
And by the way, seeing that mysterious begleiter smiling faintly was one of those seven miracles isn't it?
#
A sound of clashing scythes, and when I took quick glances to my surrounding, the place had changed into one that familiar in my memories.
It's in the Book of Hades.
And that mean—
"I've been waiting for you, Landkarte."
-the real identity of this 'mysterious begleiter' in front of me was—
"…Ea."
-It's you…
"I see. So that means you're Ea; former General Miroku's begleiter, Karu Ien." I should've noticed it from your name. What a fool I am—searching for you this entire time, but you're right here standing in front of me with your scythe clashing with my own. You're always around me, but I didn't notice it.
/I'm really am a fool, did't I?/
"So we were both nearby. You timed it when I'd come, and overwrote Teito-kun's soul number with your own." I huffed. "This is troublesome. It's you, after all. I'm sure; just like ten years ago, you must have changed every single relevant person's soul number." Yeah. It's you. It really was you who stood in front of me with bandages over your upper face, covering the scar I made on it ten years ago when you and the other discovered my betrayal.
…my betrayal…
"That's not all. You've run out of your luck by coming inside this Book of Hades." Just like what I've thought; it's going to be troublesome. "If you were in the real world, you could have gathered plenty of human darkness, and repairing your crumbling body would have been possible. However…"
…ah. Your words made me realize something…
"There's no darkness here."
…I'm rotting away, ain't I?
"You can only rot away here."
/Entering and exiting the Book of Hades depends only on Ea's will… So I have to defeat Ea if I want to get out here…/"…I see. Here, in this space, nothing than your words you wrote exists. So that's why I feel uncomfortable being here." A flash of memory came to my mind—a silhouette of younger us inside this book, walking around freely, while you stared at one of those eggs with dark, gloomy eyes.
"What a horrible way to say it. It's a room where you freely stayed in the past."
…and I couldn't move. Not a single move, even from my fingers.
Unfair.
"Although I do not write the destination of your soul after you rot in the Book of Hades."
So unfair.
"…I don't have a destination…? Not the underworld? Nor hell?"
"That's right… Your soul will never escape from this Book of Hades for eternity."
You're so unfair.
And you'll always be so unfair to me.
"…I see. I heard that my body and soul, which have become bugged just now, are something troublesome that will infect everything. Isolating the source of infection from both the human world and the heaven is the best way; that's what you're saying."
You're cruel. You're so cruel.
You're very cruel!
I've been searching for you for a long time—and here you are, isolating me from everything without even knowing my true motives for taking away your sight from you. Are you mad at me because of that? You must be. Zehel's temper was something infectious if you stay close with him for a long time, I know it!
You… are really mad at me.
You are.
"Thirteen years ago, you tried to purify the human souls around the world. From the results, you, you took upon yourself the darkness of those people you couldn't purify in their stead. Isn't that right, Landkarte?"
…aren't you?
"And when I started to looking for you, I finally realized… That you, at that time, had taken over my darkness…"
…you do realize it? You're searching for me… too…?
"The small darkness, like a whisper, born from each and every human, eventually will become a huge, heaving wave, that weighs on your back… Large enough that it impedes your soul…"
…you did. Now.
"It's not only your sin. For us who didn't notice it, and for the people all over the world, we bear equal sin. Landkarte… Let's put an end to this."
Are you trying to get me back to your side? But you wanted me to stay away from you back then, didn't you?
You made me confused.
You're so confusing, Ea.
"You've purified enough darkness. All that's left is for me to purify your darkness here forever. That's why… You don't have to suffer… anymore than this…"
You're so kind.
And yet, you're still unfair to me.
And you're soft.
Too soft until I pitied you one last time.
"E a, y o u ' r e[s o f t]."
When you looked behind, a familiar figure in your memories—my old self before I underwent plastic surgery by myself—who had taken away your sight, now would take away your soul too.
And you'd never be able to know my reason for doing this.
The real one that had a connection with you.
"I… I do not wish for my own redemption." I never wished for it anyway. And I'd never want to accept it, even if the Chief of Heaven himself who granted me. "What I wish for is…"
A glow from your fingers made my heart aching for something that I've lost for a long time.
'You come back'
"Landkarte… I'm sorry… I… couldn't… save you…"
When your bloody body turned into smoke and feathers, my eyes widened.
You… Your words that time, when we were having our evening tea together and talking about my death that time…
…what did you say? What did you say that time?
Why can't I remember it?
Why everything always is so unfair to me?
And why—why did it happen? Even though my soul has already been painted black…
…my heart ached.
It hurts.
It hurts me so much that I felt like I'm going to cry.
You're so cruel. So unfair.
Your gentleness was very cruel.
Why didn't you ever show me that you're caring to me?
Egoistic. Keeping that to yourself only, without any intention of letting anyone know about it…
…you're so cruel and unfair, Ea.
#
"You're late."
My eyes widened.
You're there—standing upstairs with arm crossed in front of your chest, without your bandages. I could see your beautiful amethyst eyes once more from my place again.
How I love them.
"Thanks to Teito-kun and you, I managed to come here…" I sighed. It was a tiresome journey to be here. But then—were you waiting for me? "Thank you… for saving me… Your words became a light for me…" I stared at the word I had in my hand, not daring to stare at your beautiful, stoic amethyst eyes which I've damaged in past.
"Going on rampage, you moron."
I smiled tiredly. "Even though I climbed up this high, this place is just like the deep bottom of river, so quiet…" I let out a deep breath, although I didn't need them anymore. It's my 'second' death, anyway. "So it was here… The perfect world where there was nothing just like that time…" A perfect world without hate or love, just like what I told you in my betrayal day. A world that I've been longing for a long time…
"Landkarte, it's not like nothing exists here…" My breath stuck in my throat. My eyes felt like they're being burned. "There's a light here; the light that you yourself carry."
Once again, I must state that you're so unfair.
I've never, in my life as a part of 07-Ghost, ever made you cry. But you—you—"…that's right. You said the same thing too at that time, right…?"
…and I've remembered it now.
When I sank into the river, and became the sacrifice, accepting the curses of the people throughout my body, I arrived at an endless, perfect world where there's nothing. And you said this to me, who was fascinated by that world: "Landkarte... It's not like there's nothing... That was because, when you died, you forgave and accept everything that you were able to reach that place." You bent your own body letting your face became closer to mine for the first time since our very first meeting. "From that moment, there's light inside of you, and that light should reach every nook and cranny of the river. Thanks to you, no talk about flood disaster was heard at the third district these past years..."
And then, you gave me your very rare smile.
"Your 'forgiveness' is the most powerful."
I frowned. Those memories brought me to tears instantly—and my opinion about you hadn't changed a bit, you're still unfair as ever!
Very, very unfair! I've never made you cry, right? Then why did you make me cry like this?
Now, my heart aches again.
"It's almost time."
When I realized that I'm starting to turn into feathers, I shoot you a disbelieving look. But you, who was as kuudere as ever and would never accept your real feeling yourself, looked into another side. "...These feathers are... How can it be possible... for me to be forgiven..."
"It's the will of the Chief. I didn't write anything." I stared at you, who's smiling once again and giving me the warmness that I've lost for a long time ago. "Seems like our destination is the same. Go and get the severe scolding from the Chief."
I felt like I wanted to laugh.
.
.
You're Ea: the one who I failed to kill in my betrayal night, the one who ran away from me after changing your own soul number, the one who I've been looking for in the military for a decade without even knowing you're very near to me, and the one and only who show a great care toward me, even if you didn't want to admit it yourself.
The only one who was willing to wait for me in that quiet staircase to heaven and comforted me before I went to the place I've never imagined to be there myself.
…I think that's an enough payment for not letting me know everything about you when we still live together.
N-not that kind of 'living together', of course.
.
#
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The End
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Omake!
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"How does it feel?" You asked me when I went out from the Great Hall with your dallying smile. I sighed tiredly, took a walk toward you, and then face-palmed. "I won't repeat it again. Not if the consequence is his scolding. Never again."
You chuckled amusedly, while I could just face-palm alone. "Must be a very long and tiresome scolding until a hyperactive person like you becoming silent like this."
"Bingo." And then I blinked. Something is amiss when you say it…
"…how did you know that it was a long one?"
This time, it's your turn to keep your mouth closed.
I stared at you in disbelief again. It can't be…
"Did you wait for me outside? Alone?"
/It can't be…/
"…I'm not. Just happened to pass by and feel like to hear the scolding."
"You can't hear it. It's not that loud until an outsider can hear it, Ea."
When I realized that you're really waited for me all this time, alone outside, I smiled widely again. Not letting you giving any reason again to evade the reality, I covered my mouth—a futile attempt to restrain my laughter.
Yeah, keeping you outside and made you waiting for me probably were the best way to repay your unfairness in the human world before, Ea.
And I love it when you waited for me.
I should've made you wait for a longer time.
"Ah aah~ I think I'm going to return inside and let him scolds me again~"
"Do it. And I'll leave you behind and find Profe alone."
"Just kidding. Even though I do love it when you do it, I don't want you to leave me again." Yep. It's fair now. I'll take the 'unfair' title from your name now. "Let's go to search her now. I missed her so much."
"Pray that she'll not mad at you for killing her."
"…thank you for reminding me that thing, Ea."
"My sacred task as your closest partner, Landkarte."
However, I'll still repeat that line if you keep acting like an annoying people like this: "Damn you, Ea."
But you'll only chuckle, anyway. So I think it's best to leave you like what you're now.
"How many have you repeated it?"
"What?"
"Repeating that line; how many is it?"
I huffed. "Not counting it. Count it yourself."
"Come on—don't sulk like a child."
"I'm a child. A growing child."
"You're not. You're an old man in his late twenties."
"Similar things applied to you too, my dear friend."
"…checkmate, I think?"
.
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(Really) The End.