Hey guys! Welcome to what will hopefully be the first of a series of funny Thomas the Tank Engine stories for me! Now I've written lots of humor-based Thomas stories over the years, but I'm to make this an actual series. I've often watched many fan-made series' of Thomas on YouTube and have dreamed of having my own, but I can't, because my parents don't let me get Thomas merchandise, and the models I have from when I was little are packed away up my attic.
However, although I can't make a video series, that doesn't stop me from making a story series. Plus, by doing that, I can make the engines do absolutely anything I want, which I most likely couldn't do if I was making this series with models. ^^
This series will be based around the CGI era. More specifically, on season seventeen onwards. There's a great number of characters in this current era of the show, both old and new, who I intend to write stories about to make you laugh.
Alright, enough of my babbling now! Let's get on with the first of these stories!
Disclaimer: I don't own Thomas the Tank Engine. It belongs to HIT Entertainment.
One lovely morning on the Island of Sodor, Thomas the Tank Engine was fast asleep in Tidmouth Sheds with all the other engines.
Suddenly, the shed door flung open, and there stood the Fat Controller.
"Wake up, Thomas!" he hollered. "I'll have no engines sleeping in and being lazy!"
Thomas and his friends woke with a start.
"I've got a very important job for you!" the Fat Controller went on. "I want you to pick up the Prime Minister and take him down your branch line!"
Thomas beamed excitedly. "Oh, Sir! Yes, Sir!"
"WHAT?!" Gordon screamed. "That's not right, Sir! Why should a puny little tank engine like Thomas get to take the Prime Minister?! Why can't a fast, handsome express engine like me take him?!"
"Or a shiny, splendid red engine like me?" James whined.
"Or a…um…a great, grand green engine like me?" Henry put in, struggling to think of something original yet intriguing to say about himself.
"Never you mind, you three!" the Fat Controller bellowed. "I get to decide which engine takes the Prime Minister, because it's my railway!"
Gordon, James and Henry sulked childishly.
"Of you go then, Thomas!" ordered the Fat Controller. "And don't you be late or I will be mighty displeased with you!"
"No, Sir! I won't, Sir!"
And with that, Thomas steamed happily out of Tidmouth Sheds under the envious eyes of the big engines.
Thomas puffed into Knapford Station with Annie and Clarabel. When he stopped at the platform, he saw a gentleman standing nearby. He was smartly dressed in a black suit with his short brown hair neatly combed. He was just beginning to march towards the train – and was also trying to escape from the crowd of photographers who were stalking him.
"Look this way, Sir!" shouted one as he flashed his camera.
"No, look at me!" called another. "My boss says I'll get a promotion if I can get a picture of you!"
Ignoring the cries and yells that were directed at him, the gentlemen made his way up to Thomas and stood beside him. "Hello there," he said, smiling. "You must be Thomas the Tank Engine."
"I am. And you must be the Prime Minister."
"You are correct," the gentleman affirmed. "We are two well-known faces around this island, Thomas! Everyone on Sodor adored us both!"
Thomas grinned. He wasn't exactly sure if the Prime Minister was adored as much as he seemed to think he was – but he knew that he, the number one engine on Sodor, was truly loved by everyone. Especially the children. Being reminded of this made him beam with pride.
"Now let's get away from the annoying press," the Prime Minister muttered. He proceeded to walk down the platform, intending to board the train.
"Ooh!" Annie squealed when she saw him coming. "Ooh, pick me!"
"No, no, pick me!" Clarabel pleaded. "I've always wanted to give a ride to the Prime Minister."
Unfortunately for Clarabel, the Prime Minister boarded Annie. She was the closest coach to him, so boarding her would protect him from the annoying photographers quicker. Plus, he really couldn't be bothered to walk a further ten steps down the platform.
"Ha ha, Clarabel!" Annie jeered. "Looks like I'm going to be the one carrying this very important passenger! All you've got is your poor, unfit, good-for-nothing guard!"
Clarabel looked down sadly.
Just then, the guard blew his whistle. He had fortunately not heard Annie's rude insults towards him, as he'd been too mesmerized by the sight of the Prime Minister. He climbed into Clarabel and pulled the door shut behind him. Then he settled down in his chair before taking out a hefty bill he'd received in the mail. He was struggling to work out how he was going to pay it when he'd spent all his money on a holiday to Florida. He ran his eyes over it while stuffing his face with a chocolate bar that was very high in calories.
As the Prime Minister relaxed in his chair, he turned to look out the window – only to see the photographers were all visible through it. They were all crowded beside Annie on the platform, flashing their cameras at him.
"GET US OUTTA HERE, THOMAAAAAS!" he yelled.
With a loud toot of his whistle, Thomas began to chuff forward. He charged full throttle out of the station and down the line, laughing like a troll as he left the bewildered photographers behind in a cloud of steam.
Thomas was having an awesome day. He was filled to the top of his funnel with pride as he raced down the branch line with his very important passenger. He stopped at every station they came to, letting the Prime Minister off for a few minutes before he would come back on. Then it would be time for them to be on their way.
Exactly why the Prime Minister was visiting each station, Thomas didn't know. But he really didn't give a toss. The Fat Controller had chosen him out of all the engines to carry him down the line. It made him feel very smug – and it also gave him the opportunity to rub it in the smokeboxes of the other engines.
Whenever he saw James, Gordon and Henry passing by on the main line, Thomas made silly faces and blew raspberries at them. It made the big engines very cross indeed.
Then just to be mean, when Thomas saw Toby pulling Henrietta along the branch line, he blew a raspberry at him, too. He knew Toby had not objected to the idea of him pulling the Prime Minister that morning. But he didn't care. He just wanted to be rude to any engine he made.
Thomas' disrespectful greeting made Toby very, very sad. "I thought Thomas was my friend," he said. "I didn't think he was like that."
"The jerk!" snapped Henrietta.
Before long, Thomas was leaving behind Toryreck station and heading towards Farmer McColl's farm. He was just wondering to himself who the next engine he was going to blow a raspberry at would turn out to be - when he heard a funny noise from nearby.
Honk! Honk!
Thomas recognised that silly-sounding horn anywhere. Continuing to speed along the branch line, he looked towards the road that ran beside it – where he saw Bertie the Bus traveling alongside him.
"Hallo, Thomas!" Bertie called. "Fancy a race?!"
"Sorry, Bertie!" Thomas called back. "I don't have time! I'm taking the Prime Minister to visit the stations on my branch line!"
"The Prime Minister?!" Bertie was surprised. He hadn't been expecting an important figure to be aboard Thomas' train. But that brought a crafty, devilish smirk to his face. He badly wanted a race with Thomas – and he knew just how to make the little blue tank engine give him what he wanted. The little red bus could be such a selfish brat when he wanted to be.
"Alright then!" he said, pulling ahead. "I suppose it's just as well! You wouldn't want your important passenger to see you lose! Would you, Thomas?!"
"WHAT?!" Thomas screamed in shock. He glared angrily at Bertie and went bluer than ever, beginning to build up speed. "I'll show you who the Prime Minister is gonna see lose!"
"No, Thomas!" Annie cried. "Don't listen to him!"
"You can't race when you've got the Prime Minister aboard!" Clarabel added urgently. "Don't rise to the bait!"
Thomas didn't listen to either of them. He just whooshed down the branch line as fast as he could, already catching up with Bertie. He had no regard for the safety of his passenger or the speeding laws. All he cared about was winning the race he'd just declined to take part in. The silly little engine!
Annie sighed irritably. "You are stupid, Thomas!"
"Yes!" agreed Clarabel. "Very stupid indeed!"
Inside Annie, the Prime Minister had his head buried in a copy of the Sodor Times. He was in the middle of reading an article of how Lady Hatt's carrots had been stolen by the mysterious carrot snatcher who was running loose – when he realized the train was going faster. Bemused, he lowered his paper and looked out of the carriage window. He could see that the scenery outside had become nothing more than a blur. He wondered for a moment if he should pull the emergency cable and stop the train – but he just shrugged the idea off and went back to his paper. He was travelling with a really useful engine, wasn't he? What was the worst that could happen?
He was less than two minutes away from finding out…
"You can't catch me, you big red block!" Thomas jeered rudely at Bertie.
"Oh yeah?!" Bertie sneered. "Well just you wait, you little blue steam kettle! When this race is over, the Prime Minister will decide he's done travelling with you and will head back home in me instead-"
Thump!
Pssssss!
Bertie stopped with a judder. He looked down in horror to see that he had ran right into a pothole in the middle of the road! Now he had a flat tyre, which meant he couldn't go anywhere. He'd been so busy watching Thomas while racing him that he'd forgot to keep his eyes on the road. What an idiot he was!
"HA HA HAAA!" Thomas laughed as he left Bertie behind, shutting his eyes. "Looks like the Prime Minister won't be travelling home with you, Bertie! If he's looking out at you now, then he can see what a loser you really are!"
"Thomas!" Annie exclaimed. "That's not nice! Even you don't steam as low to insult Bertie like that!"
"Now for the love of the Fat Controller, slow down!" Clarabel ordered. "Or we'll have a crash!"
And then there was trouble! Thomas had been laughing at Bertie for so long that he'd sped right past a red signal! When he finally opened his eyes, they widened with horror when he saw what lay ahead. He had reached Farmer's McColl's farm – and there was Percy on the same line as him! He was waiting with a cattle truck which Farmer McColl was loading his prize cow onto!
"Cinders and ashes!" Thomas cried. He applied his breaks, but it was too late! He shut his eyes!
CRASH!
SMASH!
BASH!
"ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!"
Thomas opened his eyes.
He was laying on his side right next to the line. Annie and Clarabel were derailed behind him. In front of him, he could see that Percy had also come off the rails while the cattle truck and brake van had been smashed to a zillion pieces.
Luckily, no one was hurt. Well, actually, Thomas' driver had hit his head on the controls, his fireman had fallen onto the cab floor and fractured his arm, the guard had twisted his ankle while Clarabel had derailed, Farmer McColl had been struck on the shoulder by a piece of flying debris and the Prime Minister had been thrown around inside Annie, suffering injuries in every part of his body.
Also, Farmer McColl's prize cow had been killed in the collision. So it was no wonder he'd just let out a horrified scream.
Apart from all that, everyone was fine. At least, as fine as they could be.
Thomas rolled his eyes. Then he locked them onto Percy and gave him a look that showed he was ticked off with him.
"Percy!" he yelled. "What were you doing just standing there for buffer's sake?! You've just gone and made me crash!"
"Me?!" Percy squeaked indignantly. "I didn't make you crash, Thomas! I was just doing my job! You're the one who was speeding down here like a lunatic! You should've looked out for the red signal! It's you who caused this!"
"Yeah!" Farmer McColl added bitterly, his hands clenching into fists, ready to punch someone. "And you're also the one killed my cow!"
Thomas rolled his eyes again. He wasn't accepting any responsibly for the accident he'd caused. He was too stupid to realize he should have known to look out for the red signal. As far as he was concerned, it was entirely Percy's fault for being on the same track as him.
Soon enough, the Fat Controller arrived at the scene of the accident. He clambered out of his car, his face as red as James' paintwork as he scowled at his number one engine.
"You have caused confusion and delay!" he boomed.
"I'm sorry, Sir." There was no remorse in Thomas' tone or face. He'd heard the Fat Controller reprimand him with these very words countless times before, so he'd known exactly what to expect while he'd been waiting for him.
"I thought you were a really useful engine!" The Fat Controller went on angrily. "I can't have engines who go racing dangerously, ignoring red signals, crashing into other engines – and killing farmers' livestock!"
Just then, one of Annie's doors swung open. Everyone's attention was diverted towards it, and there stood the Prime Minister. He was looking battered, dazed – and certainly as if he'd been through the worst train ride of his life.
"Oh my!" the Fat Controller exclaimed in alarm. He ran quickly towards Annie and held his arms out. He got there just in time as the Prime Minister fell from the coach, landing safely in his fat arms.
The Fat Controller laid him down gently on the grass. He took off his top hat and waved it in front of his wounded face. "I'll arrange for you to go over to hospital immediately," he said. "Would you be okay to go by rail?"
Managing to turn his head weakly, the Prime Minister's face scrunched into a snarl as he raised a shaky arm to point towards Thomas. "Just as long as I don't have to go with that engine!"
And so, a lot came out of that terrible accident.
Thomas spent a long time being repaired at the Steamworks, then he was made to shunt trucks at the Smelter's Yard for a whole month as his punishment.
Percy took over Thomas' passenger duties with Annie and Clarabel while he was away from his branch line.
James, Gordon and Henry wouldn't stop going on about how they wouldn't have been stupid enough to miss a red signal while carrying an important passenger.
Toby needed three weeks of comforting from Henrietta before he finally let go of the rude way Thomas had greeted him.
Edward kept wondering why he'd been missing from all the action.
Bertie lied to the other buses at the depot that he'd managed to beat Thomas – although he couldn't explain to them how he'd managed to do it with the flat tyre they'd noticed.
The Fat Controller bought the cow Thomas had killed from Farmer McColl and had Lady Hatt to make them into homemade hamburgers for his tea.
Thomas' Guard received fifteen thousand pounds in compensation for his injuries, which he wasted on an all inclusive holiday to New York instead of using it to pay his hefty bill.
As for the Prime Minister, he made a full recovery in hospital – and vowed to never again travel with Thomas the Tank Engine.
So how was it? I hope you enjoyed it and it gave you some laughs. Please let me know if you would like to see more of this hopeful series. I'd very appreciate it.
Cheerio! :)