The Boyfriend Tag
"So, we are really doing this?" Kyle asked while opening the green curtains in his room. It was after 10 a.m. where the sun hit through the window perfectly illuminating the room. It was a perfectly brisk Saturday morning at the Broflovski's house.
"Yep!" Stan replied determined. Ever since he found Kyle's vlog and saw all the comments on how hot Kyle was he decided to let the internet know just who exactly this "hot" Kyle belonged to. Stan started fumbling with the web cam attached to the top of Kyle's laptop. "Is it on?" Stan inquired. To be honest he wasn't all that tech savvy, he preferred to leave all that to his more modern boyfriend to do.
"Yep, sit down," Kyle silently face palmed trying to hide his smile as his completely oblivious boyfriends struggle with the piece of technology. He turned the camera on and sat next to Stan. "Ahem!" Kyle cleared his throat to start off the video. "Ok, so this may be a bit different from my usual angry rant vlogs but today I wanted to introduce you all to my...wonderful...adorable...and completely hot...boyfriend Stan!"
Kyle flailed his arms about showing off his boyfriend to the whole internet world. "And what better way to do that than the boyfriend tag?" Kyle clicked his mouse pulling up the list of questions from the tag. "First question!"
1. Where did we meet?
"Wow...um we've known each other forever," Kyle commenced.
"Yeah our moms were pretty close so I'm sure we met in the womb..." Stan joked. "I mean, we have an actual picture of our first meeting."
Kyle grabbed his baby book, shuffled through it and pulled out an old looking Polaroid picture. "I don't know if you can see it since it's small but there's me playing with some colorful blocks or a fucking dreidel or something and Stan with spit up all down the front of his onesie," Kyle pointed out.
"We look about a year old in this and now that you mention it I think I was spitting up because I thought you were soooooo pretty," Stan smirked feeling so smooth he might as well be the modern day Casanova.
"Ugh shuddap, fag," Kyle playfully punched Stan in the arm trying to hide his blush. However, it was futile. "Next question!"
2. What was our first date?
"I think it was to the pizza place?" Stan recalled.
"Yeah, our first date wasn't all romantic or anything it was anything but, we went to Shakeys then we went bowling and then we crushed some kids, who thought they could beat our old score, in guitar hero," Kyle detailed.
"I felt bad for making them cry," Stan commented.
"Next question."
3. Where was our first kiss and how was it?
"Ugh!" Stan turned away from the camera embarrassed as he remembered that incident from grade school.
"BWAHAHA!" Kyle laughed there was no way he would forget that magical moment.
"I-in grade school I had this huge crush on a girl-"
"Very nice girl we're all still very close friends to this day," Kyle interjected.
"Anyway, I wanted to kiss her but whenever I got by her I would barf all over her, I have weak guts and the nervous butterflies she gave me always upset my stomach," Stan explained.
"So Stan came over one day and while we were playing video games he like turns to me and asks if he could practice on me and I was like; duuuuuudddde," Kyle acted out the scene with much emphasis on the word 'duuuudddee'.
"Well, we did it, we kissed and it was-"
"Barfy," Kyle interrupted again. "We kissed for an awkward 12 seconds and Stan lost his lunch all on me."
"Agh! So embarrassing," Stan's ears turned red.
"But you're such a great kisser now," Kyle tried boosting up his confidence and kissed him sweetly on the cheek.
Stan saw this as an opportunity to show Kyle's followers that the red head was his and his alone. Stan, with a bit of force, held Kyle to his lips and kissed him passionately. He made the Jew melt and give in for a while until he remembered the camera was on and his gasps were getting too sensual.
"Next question!" Kyle glared at the football player and shook his head disapprovingly. Stan couldn't find himself scared especially since the cutie was all flushed and fidgeting. So obviously becoming aroused. Now he felt like he was a great kisser.
4. Did you know that I was the one?
"No way!" Kyle gasped when Stan nodded his head yes. "It sorta snuck up on me like I didn't think it would be you in a million years but I knew it was real when you were on my mind 24/7 and the thoughts progressively turned from just friendly thoughts to how I want you to hold me and stuff," Kyle clarified.
"Well, to be honest I've always felt strange feelings but it wasn't till junior year of high school that I realized that I was an idiot for not making you mine sooner. It was you. It was always you," Stan smiled sweetly oh, he was getting some tonight.
"You're such a Romeo," Kyle mocked while rolling his eyes then smiled and gave him another kiss.
"Next question."
5. First impression?
"I thought Stan was cool from what I remembered we were a lot alike and our chemistry was great."
"His hair was much longer than it is now and his bangs constantly fell in his face, I thought he was completely a-do-ra-ble," Stan fawned over his small boyfriend.
"Whatever, next question," Kyle's freckles disappeared under his blush as he folded his arms and pouted. Geez Stan was just trying to turn Kyle into a tomato.
6. When did you meet the family?
"Is that a trick question?" Stan asked.
"Next question."
7. Do we have a tradition?
"We have a few I guess..." Kyle started looking to Stan for confirmation.
"Well, we make sure our score on guitar hero is still undefeated every month, Kyle shows up to all my big games to cheer me on, birthday sex is always a given and valentines day sex, anniversary sex, we also have our own special day where we-," Kyle gasped and clamped a hand over his boyfriends mouth.
"Geezus let just say we do a lot on the holidays, next question!"
8. What was our first road trip?
"Hmm we traveled a lot as kids during our crazy schemes," Stan answered swiftly.
"Next question?"
9. Who said I love you first and where were we?
"Kyle said it first, I unfortunately didn't have the guts," Stan hung his head down.
"We were at Starks pond when I said it," Kyle leaned on Stan and smiled at the memory. "There were a lot of tears."
"Mostly from me," Stan admitted.
"Anyways on to the next question."
10. What do we argue about the most?
"Ugh, Stan is a bit of a neat freak he constantly harps on me about how I just throw my clothes every which way, he's like my mother just less bitchy, I swear!" Kyle confessed.
"Ah but Kyle is constantly getting on me about studying and he hates to cook so I usually end up cooking unless Kyle somehow feels the need to," Stan retorted.
"All he likes to do is play video games and he never studies plus he's always interrupting my studies always asking for a-" Kyle stopped himself he couldn't dare say it, his cheeks already burning.
"A blowjob. Also, the makeup sex is great by the way."
"Next question!" Kyle change the subject. There was no way he would embarrass himself any further.
11. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
"Kyle, he's pretty manly to be honest and he's the one who kills the spiders and stuff," Stan wasn't afraid to say it. Kyle is the more level headed of the two, the red head takes charge and always knows what he wants. Stan truly admires him for that.
"Yea that's right, bitch," Kyle laughed. "But that's little things if a burglar came in now I'd be scared shitless and need my big muscular football playing boyfriend to beat them up for me," Kyle tried to save Stan's manhood. The ravenette flexed and winked at the camera.
"Plus I top," Stan felt the need to add.
"Fuck you, next question."
12. If I'm sitting in front of the TV what am I watching?
"Stan watches, like, crime shows probably some white trash show or Terrance and Phillip show or anime," Kyle responded hesitantly.
"Kyle doesn't watch TV but his mom and him love to watch this crazy Jewish New Jersey show with a bunch of fighting and crazy shit, like, I can't understand Hebrew so I don't know what it is about..."
"You should watch it with me next time," Kyle recommended. "Anyway next question."
13. What dressing do I get on my salad?
"Pfft-Another trick question."
"Next."
14. What's the one food don't I like?
"We both don't eat pork and Stan doesn't eat beef um other than that we eat pretty much anything," Kyle answered. He searched his mind for the things they don't eat. Other than Stan giving up beef and pork and what he can't because of his religion. "Anything else?" Stan shook his head. "Next quest-"
"OP! I almost forgot!" Kyle looked over at Stan wide eyed. "Banan-"
"Next fucking question." Stan chuckled loudly. He really didn't understand Kyle's hatred for bananas, but he wasn't going to push his luck by asking.
15. When we go out to eat what do I get to drink?
"Well Stan is a drunkard and gets the heavy stuff-"
"And Kyle is a light weight so he gets the fruity stuff or just plain water," Stan interrupted.
"So yeah...next."
16. What size shoe do I wear?
"Stan wears a 12! Look at how big his feet are!" Kyle pulled one of Stan's sneakers out and compared it to his shoe.
"Kyle just has small feet he's like a 7."
"I'm a size 8," Kyle corrected.
"Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet?" Stan wiggled his eyebrows.
"Shut it. Next question."
17. If I was collecting anything what would it be?
"Stan's a hoarder by the way," Kyle just threw that out there for clarification.
"I am not a hoarder," the black haired male rolled his eyes.
"Are too, you keep everything claiming it has sentimental value when it's just trash we literally have to argue and fight for me to do a yearly cleaning of his room or whenever it gets god awful messy." Kyle explained. "Seriously guys, like Stan is a clean person and his room is spotless but he keeps a secret collection of shit in his closet and it overfills so much that if you were to open the door, I wouldn't be surprised if it fell on you!"
"Damn, Kyle doesn't keep anything but I'd say he is a huge fan of McDreidel and sometimes I wonder if he'd rather be fucking him than me…" Stan pouted.
"Aww, Stanly" Kyle kissed his down stricken boyfriend in order to cheer him up. "McDreidel isn't gay..."
"I'm gonna tear down your posters!" Stan got up to go destroy all McD posters.
18. What is my favorite type of sandwich?
"Whatever Kyle makes me," Stan smirked.
"Hah more like Stan's the one making me a sandwich, he's totally my bitch," Kyle corrected. "Next question!" Kyle shouted before Stan could get a word in.
19. What would I eat everyday if I could?
"Bagels." Stan answered simply. "But only his mother's home made bagels," Stan mocked the Jewish teen.
"Apples, Stan doesn't look it but he eats a lot of fruit especially apples maybe that's why he's so fruity," Kyle snickered.
"Whatever, next question," Stan rolled his eyes.
"Hey, I say that! Next question!"
20. What's my favorite cereal?
"Fruity loops," the both answered. It was their favorite cereal since Brian Boitano endorsed it.
"Kyle if you make another gay joke I'm leaving," Stan pinched the bridge of his nose trying to hide his smile.
"Fine...I won't say it..." Kyle smirked. "But silly rabbit fruity loops are only for gays" Kyle whispered to himself with an over exaggerated lisp and hand that was a little too fierce.
"Done." Stan let his head hit the desk top.
"Next."
21. What is my favorite music?
"Stan listens to a lot of indie music or instrumentals and maroon 5," Kyle stated.
"Kyle likes rap. He listens to it most of the time like hard rap like you think because he's all pasty and red headed and shit looks like he listens to weird shit but nope straight Tupac and shit," Stan uttered.
"Next."
22. What's my favorite sports team?
"Denver broncos, is that a real question?" Stan commented.
23. What is my eye color?
"Kyle's eyes are emerald," Stan would never forget it. Those beautiful warm forest jewels give him a reason every moment to smile.
"Stan's is a deep ocean blue," Kyle continued with no hesitation then blushed at thought of those intensely dark orbs stalking him his perverse gaze burns holes through him. "N-next question..." Kyle breathed out.
24. Who is my best friend?
"Next."
25. What is something that I do that you don`t like?
"I don't like it when you flirt with other guys," Stan admitted.
"When do I ever?!" Kyle was appalled.
"Like when you fawn all over McDriedal or the basketball captain...I'm jealous," Stan blushes as he confesses his ears burning.
"Bwahaha!" Kyle starts his boisterous laugh which confuses Stan. "Dude, I admire them sure, but they could never compare to my sweet, loving, passionate lover who loves me ten times as much as anyone else could when I'm around you I feel important and overall fuzzy to the point where it's embarrassing why would I leave this for any of that?" Kyle reassured his fretful boyfriend.
"Really?" Stan sniffled. "I love you, Kyle!" Stan jumped the smaller male giving him sloppy open mouth kisses.
"Mwah! Ha! Ah! Stan wait no-" Stan pulled up Kyle's shirt to show off a very pink and very erect nipple, his only weakness. "Mmm fuck- don't lick it like that! The cameras still on!" Kyle pushed Stan away so he could reach over and turn the camera off.
"Bye bye, internet," Stan winked before shutting the camera off.
Author's Note: Alright guys! Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed leave a good review! If there's something you thought I could improve on in my writing let me know! And if you think Kyle should upload more "Videos" of him answering questions, doing challenges, and the what not then PM me or ask me at my Tumblr on Ashamwow or AshamwowArtBlog and I'll make more!