Martin Ignotus Brown Does Not Like Surprises
A tall man with fading red hair and a marvelously red and white beard brought out a wooden stool. Privately, Martin thought that he looked like a walking strawberries and cream, but when the man turned, Martin got a fleeting glimpse of startling blue eyes. The eyes seared right through him, and Martin started to feel unsure of himself. The girl behind him was not helping his nerves. She was blonde, but not exceptionally pretty, and didn't look like a bookworm, but she acted like she owned the school.
"Don't you know," she said, "I'm going to be in Slytherin."
"Of course you are," said her admiring companion, "Sophie, don't worry. You're a Malfoy."
"Vernberg, do not call me Sophie. And who said I was worrying? Idiot girl."
Vernberg, whoever she was, looked ashamed. Martin shifted a little. His dad told him to stay away from the bad eggs, if he knew what was good for him. And Martin knew. Martin, at the tender age of 11, had set out to know everything. So, just as it was obvious that Sophia Malfoy (he tried the name out in his head) was going to be in Slytherin, Martin would be in Ravenclaw. His dad was a Ravenclaw, and his mum a Hufflepuff. It was obvious.
The strawberries-and-cream teacher had taken out a hat. It looked like Martin's second best hat, the one that had been "borrowed" for a while by the gnomes in his large back garden. Martin looked apprehensively at it. What on earth was it doing here?
Malfoy, he noticed, was examining her nails. The hat was busy (Hats? Busy? Martin blinked) opening its brim. The terrific ripping sound silenced the astonished first years. A few, Martin observed, looked like codfish. He sighed. Enough of those silly thoughts or he'd be laughed at.
"Vernberg, stop gaping. You, regrettably, are not a codfish." Martin aped. Did Malfoy know Occlumency? What sweet madness was this? Remembering her remark, he hastily shut his mouth before Malfoy's eye turned on him.
Then his second best (now ripped) hat started to sing.
Back in the day,
Of the founders old,
Slytherin resided in these halls,
Cunning, aloof, and cold,
By his side stood Ravenclaw,
Everything she knew,
Next to her stood Hufflepuff,
Kind, loyal, and true,
Gryffindor, in front of them,
Brave, and brash, and bold,
Peacefully they resided,
These four founders (we're told)
Now it is time, my friends,
To work together as one,
As darkness, and the school year,
Has most surely begun!
Martin's head was spinning. That was definitely not his second best hat. And how did it talk? And what did the hat mean by "darkness"?
Merlin! Martin had just noticed that all the rest of the school was looking at the first years. He straightened his back (first impressions were important, he knew) and risked a glance at Sophia Malfoy, and Vernberg. Vernberg, predictably, was gaping again. Malfoy rolled her eyes, and said loudly "Goodness, all that fuss about Grindlewald in the Sorting Hat's song. And Father told me all about House unity. How silly."
Martin Brown quickly faced front again. How much did he not know about Hogwarts? He racked his brains for a mention of the Sorting Hat. Ah. Yes. Okay. His confidence restored, Martin smiled a little. "Ravenclaw, here I come!" He thought.
"Abbott, Percival!" The hat yelled.
Percy walked unsteadily up to the stool with the Sorting Hat on it. Hufflepuff, Martin observed. Sure enough, the Hat confirmed his theory. "Better be……HUFFLEPUFF!" Percy looked faintly disappointment, but relieved. Behind Martin, Sophia smirked. "Load of duffers, that one." Martin couldn't agree more.
"Brown, Martin!"
Suddenly, Martin was unsure about his placement. Composing himself, Martin made his way up to the stool, and sat.
"Hello Martin."
"Martin Ignotus Brown, Mr. Hat, sir."
"Hmmm…very…intriguing, Martin Ignotus Brown. Which House shall I put you in?"
"Aren't you supposed to know?"
"Have you had any Occlumency training?"
"You didn't answer my question. And, no, I haven't."
"Please relax, Martin Ignotus Brown. I need to read your mind."
"But they're my thoughts!"
There was a small silence.
"Aaah. Much better. Very determined."
"I'm not a Hufflepuff."
"No, I can see that. Brave enough to stand up for me, but you certainly aren't a Gryffindor."
"Well, then put me in Ravenclaw."
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Mr. Brown. You definitely have a thirst to prove yourself. Why?"
Yet another silence, except this time it was longer.
"Well, then. Those memories are private, are they? You are one to watch. You will do well in…"
"Ravenclaw, Ravenclaw, Ravenclaw…."
"SLYTHERIN!"