A Man Possessed - An Evangelion songfic
This fic will be based on a selection of songs from Evanescence's new album Fallen. This might have already been done, I know that someone's covering the whole album, but these songs reminded me so much of what could possibly happen in the Evangelion universe. Hell, any song off the Fallen album seems to remind me of Eva...it's bloody freaky...
Evanescence's album, Fallen, comes wtih my highest recommendations. All their songs kick ass, it's like Linkin Park with a piano and a chick. Speaking of which, I'd like to thank Amy, Ben, Francesco and Josh in advance for not suing my ass off. I also pay the same tribute to Evangelion and its creators, Hideaki Anno and Gainax Inc.
Anyway, this is something while I am waiting for the opportunity to work on Where Am I or Total Control. I know what you're thinking, why can't I work on these fics? That's a long story. And if you weren't thinking that, then you were thinking what is Total Control? I'm not saying...but maybe the last gift wasn't really the last...
Oh, and one last thing, while on the subject of my previous works...TakoBalls...It's funny how much my coughs sound like TakoBalls...
Anyway, without further ado, A Man Possessed...
-------------
Shinji had contained himself in his room one more time. Tears flowed freely from his eyes to the pillow underneath, his fragile heart cracking again. This always happened after a fight with Asuka, and he was beginning to realise why. It shocked him when he first realised it, not knowing what to think of himself. While he didn't exactly enjoy the immense mental degradation place on him everyday by her, there was still something about her that made him warm. Something about the way she looked at him sometimes...it was almost as if she...loved him. He dismissed it almost instantly once he thought it a few weeks ago, but more and more strange looks from Asuka made him more and more convinced of the unthinkable.
[But that doesn't make sense,] he told himself, [if she loves me then why doesn't she come out and admit it? Is she scared? Scared that I would reject her?] Shinji almost laughed as he thought that. But that doesn't answer my question...
Suddenly, the words, 'thinking music' came into his head, and he eventually decided he needed his SDAT to solve this problem. He picked it up off his desk, and found that Misato had left one of her pre-2I tapes in there. Shinji looked at it, and went to read the label, only to find that it was in English. He could only make out one word: "Fallen". He shrugged, inserted his earpieces, and played the tape. Apparently the tape was halfway through a song, so he rewinded it a short way, before pressing play again. A haunting guitar riff echoed in Shinji's mind, and the beat faintly mingled with the guitar strums, and then the song began properly.
{Perfect by nature/icons of self-indulgence/just what we all need/more lies about a world that/never was and never will be/have you no shame? don't you see me?/You know you've got everybody fooled...}
The song played on, pulsing through his mind, trudging up memories of a late Saturday night...
--------------
"Tadaima!" Shinji called out, even though once again, no one was there. Misato had another late shift, and Asuka was at Hikari's for the night. [Especially tonight,] Shinji laughed to himself, [there's no way Asuka would risk damaging her complexion by running home in the rain.] He walked in the door, and looked around the house for any chores to be done. He was about to reach for the infinite pile of beer cans on the table, when he spotted an unfamiliar manila folder, sitting opened on the table in front of misato's usual seat.
"What's this?" Shinji peered for a closer look. He quickly skimmed the top few lines, reading "early loss of mother", "withdrawn, overly apologetic", and "possible victim of depression".
"This is my psychological report!" Shinji immediately looked away, closing the folder as if it were some ancient curse that mustn't be read. Just then the phone rang. Shinji reached over and picked it up off the table. "Hello?"
"Shinji! Where's Misato?" Asuka. Anyone could pick her voice. Hell, the neighbors could probably hear her through the phone right now...
"Um, I dunno...she's at..."
"What do you mean, you don't know!? God, you can be so dense sometimes!"
Shinji started trembling. "She's at work..."
"Well, I finally get an answer out of you! Hey, look, it's already morning!"
Shinji hung up. He really couldn't be fucked putting up with her tonight, the one night he doesn't have to take any of her crap. His eyes glanced back to the manila folder. Maybe, he thought to himself, maybe Asuka's past is in there. Maybe I can see why she's such a bitch all the time.
He picked up the manila folder, and flicked to a page he half expected to be there: entitled Asuka Langley Sohryu...
--------------
Shinji had put the song on repeat, going over the lyrics in his mind over and over. She only puts other people down because she needs to, so she can feel like she's important...
"Hey, Shinji!" he heard a familiar cry from the hallway, "Where the fuck is my dinner!?"
Almost as if to mimic his own thoughts, the song played on: {Look here she comes now/bow down and stare in wonder/oh how we love you/no flaws when you're pretending...}
Shinji walked out of his room calmly, in a music-fuelled but contained anger. [She does all this because she's insecure within herself...and she calls me the weakling...]
Asuka was out there, tapping her foot impatiently. "Finally a response! Now where's my food?"
{But now i know she/never was and never will be/you don't know how you've betrayed me/and somehow you've got everybody fooled...}
"Get it yourself," Shinji muttered as he walked back into his room.
"Wait a second, baka!" Asuka reached out and grabbed the Third Child. "Listen up..."
"NO!" Shinji shouted, "YOU FUCKING LISTEN!" Asuka was shocked. [But...Shinji never stands up for himself...]
"Ooh! But Shinji never stands up for himself!" Shinji was mocking Asuka predictable thought process. "That's how I know I'm better than he is! I need to tell myself I'm better than everyone else because otherwise I'm fucking useless!" Shinji quit the high pitched imitation voice. "And you thought I was pathetic..."
Asuka looked as though she had been stabbed. "How...did you find out...?"
"That's not the point here, Asuka," Shinji said, "The point is that I'm not going to put up with your pathetic attempt at making a name for yourself anymore! I'm sick of it!" The music fuelled him on: {Without the mask/where will you hide?/Can't find yourself/Lost in your lie...}
[No...] Asuka was on breaking point. [Anyone but him...]
"And to think at one stage I was falling in love with you!" Shinji shouted now. Asuka looked like Shinji had ripped out her heart, ground it into the floor, and set fire to it. Asuka's was speechless, her face etched in shock and horror.
Shinji was surprised by this new development. "Oh, so you did actually love me..." {I know the truth now/I know who you are...}
He leaned in closer, for an instant, almost feeling sorry for the girl in front of him, still etched with fear and shock. "Well, maybe you shuld've thought about that before you treated me like shit for the past few months..."
Shinji muttered the last lines of the verse in her ear. "{I don't love you anymore...}" With that, he left the flat. Asuka couldn't believe what she heard. [No...Shinji...not him...]
Asuka fell to her knees, face buried into her hands, whimpering soft cries, letting the tears flow down her arms.
Shinji opened the door slightly, looking in on the girl he just rejected. He didn't need to tell anyone the truth, when he could let the SDAT play it for him.
{Now you're everybody's fool...}
This fic will be based on a selection of songs from Evanescence's new album Fallen. This might have already been done, I know that someone's covering the whole album, but these songs reminded me so much of what could possibly happen in the Evangelion universe. Hell, any song off the Fallen album seems to remind me of Eva...it's bloody freaky...
Evanescence's album, Fallen, comes wtih my highest recommendations. All their songs kick ass, it's like Linkin Park with a piano and a chick. Speaking of which, I'd like to thank Amy, Ben, Francesco and Josh in advance for not suing my ass off. I also pay the same tribute to Evangelion and its creators, Hideaki Anno and Gainax Inc.
Anyway, this is something while I am waiting for the opportunity to work on Where Am I or Total Control. I know what you're thinking, why can't I work on these fics? That's a long story. And if you weren't thinking that, then you were thinking what is Total Control? I'm not saying...but maybe the last gift wasn't really the last...
Oh, and one last thing, while on the subject of my previous works...TakoBalls...It's funny how much my coughs sound like TakoBalls...
Anyway, without further ado, A Man Possessed...
-------------
Shinji had contained himself in his room one more time. Tears flowed freely from his eyes to the pillow underneath, his fragile heart cracking again. This always happened after a fight with Asuka, and he was beginning to realise why. It shocked him when he first realised it, not knowing what to think of himself. While he didn't exactly enjoy the immense mental degradation place on him everyday by her, there was still something about her that made him warm. Something about the way she looked at him sometimes...it was almost as if she...loved him. He dismissed it almost instantly once he thought it a few weeks ago, but more and more strange looks from Asuka made him more and more convinced of the unthinkable.
[But that doesn't make sense,] he told himself, [if she loves me then why doesn't she come out and admit it? Is she scared? Scared that I would reject her?] Shinji almost laughed as he thought that. But that doesn't answer my question...
Suddenly, the words, 'thinking music' came into his head, and he eventually decided he needed his SDAT to solve this problem. He picked it up off his desk, and found that Misato had left one of her pre-2I tapes in there. Shinji looked at it, and went to read the label, only to find that it was in English. He could only make out one word: "Fallen". He shrugged, inserted his earpieces, and played the tape. Apparently the tape was halfway through a song, so he rewinded it a short way, before pressing play again. A haunting guitar riff echoed in Shinji's mind, and the beat faintly mingled with the guitar strums, and then the song began properly.
{Perfect by nature/icons of self-indulgence/just what we all need/more lies about a world that/never was and never will be/have you no shame? don't you see me?/You know you've got everybody fooled...}
The song played on, pulsing through his mind, trudging up memories of a late Saturday night...
--------------
"Tadaima!" Shinji called out, even though once again, no one was there. Misato had another late shift, and Asuka was at Hikari's for the night. [Especially tonight,] Shinji laughed to himself, [there's no way Asuka would risk damaging her complexion by running home in the rain.] He walked in the door, and looked around the house for any chores to be done. He was about to reach for the infinite pile of beer cans on the table, when he spotted an unfamiliar manila folder, sitting opened on the table in front of misato's usual seat.
"What's this?" Shinji peered for a closer look. He quickly skimmed the top few lines, reading "early loss of mother", "withdrawn, overly apologetic", and "possible victim of depression".
"This is my psychological report!" Shinji immediately looked away, closing the folder as if it were some ancient curse that mustn't be read. Just then the phone rang. Shinji reached over and picked it up off the table. "Hello?"
"Shinji! Where's Misato?" Asuka. Anyone could pick her voice. Hell, the neighbors could probably hear her through the phone right now...
"Um, I dunno...she's at..."
"What do you mean, you don't know!? God, you can be so dense sometimes!"
Shinji started trembling. "She's at work..."
"Well, I finally get an answer out of you! Hey, look, it's already morning!"
Shinji hung up. He really couldn't be fucked putting up with her tonight, the one night he doesn't have to take any of her crap. His eyes glanced back to the manila folder. Maybe, he thought to himself, maybe Asuka's past is in there. Maybe I can see why she's such a bitch all the time.
He picked up the manila folder, and flicked to a page he half expected to be there: entitled Asuka Langley Sohryu...
--------------
Shinji had put the song on repeat, going over the lyrics in his mind over and over. She only puts other people down because she needs to, so she can feel like she's important...
"Hey, Shinji!" he heard a familiar cry from the hallway, "Where the fuck is my dinner!?"
Almost as if to mimic his own thoughts, the song played on: {Look here she comes now/bow down and stare in wonder/oh how we love you/no flaws when you're pretending...}
Shinji walked out of his room calmly, in a music-fuelled but contained anger. [She does all this because she's insecure within herself...and she calls me the weakling...]
Asuka was out there, tapping her foot impatiently. "Finally a response! Now where's my food?"
{But now i know she/never was and never will be/you don't know how you've betrayed me/and somehow you've got everybody fooled...}
"Get it yourself," Shinji muttered as he walked back into his room.
"Wait a second, baka!" Asuka reached out and grabbed the Third Child. "Listen up..."
"NO!" Shinji shouted, "YOU FUCKING LISTEN!" Asuka was shocked. [But...Shinji never stands up for himself...]
"Ooh! But Shinji never stands up for himself!" Shinji was mocking Asuka predictable thought process. "That's how I know I'm better than he is! I need to tell myself I'm better than everyone else because otherwise I'm fucking useless!" Shinji quit the high pitched imitation voice. "And you thought I was pathetic..."
Asuka looked as though she had been stabbed. "How...did you find out...?"
"That's not the point here, Asuka," Shinji said, "The point is that I'm not going to put up with your pathetic attempt at making a name for yourself anymore! I'm sick of it!" The music fuelled him on: {Without the mask/where will you hide?/Can't find yourself/Lost in your lie...}
[No...] Asuka was on breaking point. [Anyone but him...]
"And to think at one stage I was falling in love with you!" Shinji shouted now. Asuka looked like Shinji had ripped out her heart, ground it into the floor, and set fire to it. Asuka's was speechless, her face etched in shock and horror.
Shinji was surprised by this new development. "Oh, so you did actually love me..." {I know the truth now/I know who you are...}
He leaned in closer, for an instant, almost feeling sorry for the girl in front of him, still etched with fear and shock. "Well, maybe you shuld've thought about that before you treated me like shit for the past few months..."
Shinji muttered the last lines of the verse in her ear. "{I don't love you anymore...}" With that, he left the flat. Asuka couldn't believe what she heard. [No...Shinji...not him...]
Asuka fell to her knees, face buried into her hands, whimpering soft cries, letting the tears flow down her arms.
Shinji opened the door slightly, looking in on the girl he just rejected. He didn't need to tell anyone the truth, when he could let the SDAT play it for him.
{Now you're everybody's fool...}