I don't actually usually write things like this — I usually put them into fanfics or something to that extent, but I felt like this one was perfect just the way it was. I'd like to say a couple things: one, I do not have a boyfriend and I'm 100% sure it's not like this when you start crying in front of them. Two, I am a boy, yes, this is two boys. I hope you enjoy reading it, and comment your thoughts? Was it too mushy? Just fluffy enough? I want to hear!
I opened my eyes and realized I still couldn't see anything; it was pitch black, the dead of night. I never should have gone to bed at 7 — what was I thinking — but I just couldn't make myself face anything else that could have possibly happened if I'd continued on with the day.
I heard a soft snore from behind me and I realized someone's arm was around me, holding me close to a warm, bare chest. I put a hand to my face. I'm such a fuck up. I missed his concert.
"Fuck me." I whispered to myself, scrubbing my palm over my pale face. Jared moaned softly and tightened his arm, pulling me around to face him.
"I'd love to." He said, in his groggy, sleepy voice that I normally loved. Today though, it just made me sad. His smile flashed in the dark, but the whiteness of his teeth faded as he frowned when he realized I was close to tears. He must see the glare of the streetlights in my damp eyes. "What's wrong, baby?" He asked me softly, smoothing down my short, dark hair.
"I don't know." I replied, voice shaky. "I missed your concert and I don't deserve you...and I was looking at...at her pictures again today...why do I keep doing this to myself?" I tried to fight my tears but all that happened was that I gave a choked little squeak and started sobbing. "Why do I do this to myself? I miss her...I..." I tried to pull away from him but Jared just wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me in closer to him. He was taller than me and I fit right underneath his chin, head against his chest, his steady heart beating in my ear.
"Baby...baby you're okay...shhh...I know it hurts. Believe me, I know." He said, voice soft. His chin rested on my head and ruffled my hair as he spoke soothingly.
"I'm sorry Jared I missed your show and I shouldn't be c —" he pressed up against me in a way that I knew was to tell me to be quiet.
"Fuck my show." He said. He pulled me away from his body and looked at me with his angelic blue eyes. They were warm and beautiful. "I want to be here with you. I should have been. But there's no use living in the past. Look at me." He brought one strong, slender hand up to cup my chin and tilt my face up towards his. "There's nothing good in doing that."
I sniffed. "Live in the present, right?" I responded in a gravelly voice, quoting him.
"Right." Jared replied, bringing me close to him again and kissing my forehead. He waited for a long moment, enough for me to calm down, before exhaling in a shaky way I knew meant that he was nervous about something. "The show was great. But...I was so scared...my stomach was in knots...it still hurts now." He said.
My hand automatically slid down to rest on his hardened stomach, warm and comforting. "Hey." Now it was my turn to comfort him. Sliding up in bed so we were face to face, I gave a little smile, feeling the salt on my cheeks, tightening them. "Live in the present, right?" I reminded him. He smiled.
"You're learning." He said. He leaned forwards and drew me into a tired, sweet kiss and I fell asleep pressed against his chest, his heartbeats calming me into a lull.