Series: Part I of Of Scars and Healing
Warnings: swearing, mentions of rape and torture - but nothing explicit
Pairings: Neville/Draco, Dean/Seamus, canon relationships
Disclaimer: Everything recognisable belongs to J. K. Rowling.

Later, he would admit that it had been a terrible idea. It had seemed like a good idea at the time and Dean and Seamus had agreed. It was a way to break the ice. A way to have some fun after all the horrors they had endured the previous year. A way to start over and get to know each other properly without a war or petty house rivalries breathing down their necks. However, now that he was here in the Room of Requirement, sat in a circle with his fellow drunk eighth years, Neville was starting to think it had been the worst idea he'd ever had.

It had been going well until Hannah had suggested they play some drinking games. Everyone had immediately jumped on the idea, even Neville, who had doubted playing drinking games with Slytherins was a good idea. Not that he was prejudiced towards them anymore, he just knew from personal experience that they were entirely too sneaky for their own good.

Not every student from their year had decided to return to Hogwarts. Seamus and Dean were the only other Gryffindors to return; Harry, Ron and Hermione went straight into jobs at the Ministry and Parvati didn't want to return without Lavender. Hannah, Susan, Ernie and Justin had all come back as had Lisa, Terry, Anthony and Padma from Ravenclaw. Slytherin, surprisingly, had the most students return and the only ones who hadn't were Goyle and Millicent Bulstrode.

Neville found himself sat opposite a smirking Draco Malfoy whose gaze seemed to be fixed upon him, as if he was trying to unnerve him. Not that it was going to work. Neville hadn't been unnerved by him in a long time. Over the past year their relationship had shifted from antagonistic to something Neville couldn't quite put his finger on.

It was a dangerous game they had played and they both knew they could get caught at any moment by one of the Carrows or Snape. They hadn't always been careful, but they both lived off the danger and they both had believed the risk to be worth it. They hadn't spoken to each other since before the Final Battle, though, and Neville wasn't sure where they stood anymore. They'd never been friends, but it had been more than just sex. Draco had been there for Neville when he'd needed someone the most, had helped him when he thought his situation had been hopeless, but since Draco hadn't even approached him since the war had ended, Neville was starting to think that maybe he hadn't cared at all, that he considered everything they had been - whatever that was - just one giant mistake.

The smirk Draco currently wore didn't do anything to diffuse Neville's worry; it was as if he was silently taunting him, just waiting to humiliate him in front of all his friends with stories of their seventh year. The more logical part of him knew that was ridiculous. Draco wasn't heartless, he had proved that last year, and the smirk on his face wasn't malicious; it was flirty and teasing, like it had been at the beginning of their - for lack of a better word - relationship.

"Right," Dean announced, "it's decided. We're playing I Never."

Neville had to stifle a groan. There was only one way this could go since all talk of anything war related was strictly prohibited and Neville wasn't overly keen on the idea of having his and Draco's entire sexual history being strung out for all their classmates to hear. He wasn't ashamed or anything, but some of the things they had gotten up to were a lot less vanilla than people usually expected of Neville. Neville knew he would never hear the end of it from Dean and Seamus.

He glanced back in Malfoy's direction and was somewhat satisfied to see that his smirk had dropped as he had the same realisation that Neville did. They could only hope that everyone would be too drunk to remember everything the next morning.

Their eye contact was broken by Seamus, who was going round the circle filling everyone's glasses up with firewhiskey, while Justin explained the rules to those who hadn't played before.

Once the rules had been explained and everyone had settled into a circle, the game began. To begin with, the questions were quite tame, the typical "I've never kissed a girl" and "I've never kissed a boy" questions. Neville drank to both, as did Draco, and the rest of the group drank to either one or the other, if not both. Then came the expected "I've never had sex with a girl" and "I've never had sex with a boy" questions. Both Neville and Draco drank at the latter, but not the former. No one paid either of them much attention, thankfully, though Dean and Seamus did give Neville a curious glance at his admission that he was not as straight as they'd thought.

When it came to Neville's turn, he had to wrack his brains for something he and Draco had never done since they'd tried most things at least once. Finally, he came up with something. "I've never had a threesome." The only ones that drank were Dean and Seamus. And Theodore Nott. Everyone stared at the three of them, not expecting the quiet Slytherin to have shagged not one, but two Gryffindors. At the same time. That was, if it was Dean and Seamus Theo had shagged.

Theo's ears pinked slightly, while Dean and Seamus shared triumphant grins.

"You two slept with a Slytherin?" Pansy piped up, a note of incredulity in her voice.

"Don't act so surprised, Pansy. You shagged a Hufflepuff after all, so you're in no position to judge," Theo smirked, his Slytherin confidence returning.

"Oh, I'm not judging," Pansy carried on, as if she hadn't just flushed a deep red. Neville noted that Ernie also looked a bit pink. "I'm just surprised that these two," she gestured towards Dean and Seamus, "had eyes for anyone but each other."

"Just because we're together doesn't mean we can't appreciate a fine arse when we see one," Dean said, letting his eyes rake over Theo's body.

"Yes, well, anyway," Theo said, in a much higher voice than he meant to, "Lisa, I believe it's your turn."

Lisa took pity on him and carried on the game, "I've never had sex in the Prefect's Bathroom."

Neville drank. Draco did too. Several others drank as well, so no one paid them much attention.

The game carried on in much the same vein, with Neville and Draco admitting to having sex in various places round the school and grounds, as well as trying out various kinks. Neville was fairly certain his face and ears were now a permanent shade of red. Nobody had made the connection between him and Draco yet, though whether that was because everyone was too drunk to think properly or because they weren't the only ones drinking, Neville couldn't be sure. He figured it was a combination of the two.

Neville was just thinking they'd get away with nobody knowing when Seamus piped up, "I never knew you were so adventurous, Neville."

Everyone's eyes fell on Neville, though Draco was deliberately not looking his way. Neville swallowed. "Says you, I mean the Black Lake, really?"

"Don't -hic- try to turn this on us, Nev," Dean added, sounding rather more drunk than Seamus did, "you're shagging someone -hic- someone in this room."

"I think the same can be said for most of us here," Neville reasoned, trying to turn the attention away from him.

"Stop -hic- dodging. We'll find out -hic- who it is."

Neville rolled his eyes and tried not to look bothered, though he did spare a glance in Draco's direction to try to gauge his reaction. Except Draco was far too drunk and preoccupied with refilling his glass to take much notice of what was going on around him. Maybe Neville was overreacting. Would it really be such a bad thing if everyone found out about him and Draco? The war was over, their lives weren't in danger and nobody seemed to care who was in what house anymore. What did he have to worry about, really? Logically, nothing. Sure, there would be teasing and it would be embarrassing having everyone know just what he and Draco had gotten up to, but after everything Neville had gone through the previous year, he could handle a little light-hearted taunting from his friends.

"I've never shagged a Hufflepuff," Terry said with a sideways glance at Neville. Great, it seemed everyone was hell-bent on discovering who he was sleeping with. Was being the operative word there.

Neville didn't drink. Pansy did, as did a few others, but no one was paying attention to them; everyone's eyes were fixed on Neville instead.

Tracey went next. "I've never shagged a Ravenclaw."

Neville still didn't drink.

Then it was Blaise's turn. "I've never shagged a Gryffindor."

Neville didn't drink. Theo did of course. Draco, who had finally seemed to realise what was going on, glared intently at his best friend before downing the rest of his drink.

That's when it seemed to click with everyone.

Seamus wolf-whistled, "Well, well, Neville, bagging a Malfoy. I am impressed."

"Sod off, Seamus," Neville said, not even bothering to try to deny it.

"Who would've thought it, eh?"

"Yes, alright," Draco said, "Neville and I have fucked. A lot. Is it really such a big deal? Theo shagged two Gryffindors, Pansy shagged a Hufflepuff, and Blaise has probably shagged everyone," an indignant 'oi' sounded from somewhere to Draco's right, "stop being such gossips so we can carry on with this Merlin-awful game."

Neville wanted to kiss Draco right there and then, but he restrained himself since he didn't want to give everyone something else to gossip about. The game carried on as before, though everyone was not-so-secretly watching Draco and Neville to see what they had and hadn't done.

Everything was fine until Justin's turn. "I've never fucked - or been fucked by - more than one person."

Everyone looked at Justin with wide eyes, surprised that the usually quiet and reserved Hufflepuff could be so crass. Neville froze for an entirely different reason. Draco's eyes bypassed Justin and landed straight on Neville. A few people picked up their glasses and drank. After what felt like an eternity to Neville, but was, in reality, only a few seconds, he picked up his glass and drank the rest of the liquid in there. Seamus and Dean both gave him curious looks. Only Draco noticed how uncomfortable he looked. Then again, Draco was the only one who knew.

"Come on then, Nev, spill all."

Neville stood, slightly uneasy on his feet from all the alcohol he had consumed. "I'm going back to the Common Room." He started to pick his way through the circle, but Draco grasping hold of his trouser leg stopped him from making it all the way.

"Stay. They'll shut up, won't you?" Draco glared at the rest of the circle, but particularly at Dean and Seamus. Everyone either nodded or hummed in agreement, either too scared of getting on the wrong side of a Malfoy, or too drunk to really know what was going on. Draco's gaze turned back to Neville. "Please?"

Neville sighed and then nodded, before retaking his seat between Dean and Lisa.

"How about we play something different?" Hannah suggested. Ideas flew back and forth across the circle and the exchange that had just happened was completely forgotten.

Neville glanced over at Draco and smiled at him in thanks. Draco smiled back.

Neville woke up the next morning sprawled all over Malfoy and with a stonking headache. A quick glance up showed him that everyone else was in much the same state as he was. Well, apart from Seamus, who was currently handing out Hangover Potions to those that were awake. The Irishman had always seemed to hold his alcohol better than everyone else. Neville let his head flop back onto Malfoy's chest and it wasn't long before he was falling asleep again.

When he woke up again it was to a sharp prod in the back. "Longbottom, shift. You're sending my arm numb."

"Right, sorry." Neville sat up to find that the Room of Requirement had emptied, its previous occupants preferring to go back to their dorms and sleep there. Seamus had left Hangover Potions for both him and Malfoy and Neville made a mental note to thank Seamus later. "Everyone knows, don't they?"

"You don't remember?"

Neville shrugged. "Bits and pieces."

Draco rolled his eyes. "You are such a lightweight, Longbottom." Draco stood up, wincing as his hangover kicked in, and began buttoning up his shirt. Neville had a vague recollection that he was the one responsible for it being unbuttoned in the first place.

"Excuse you, but I had to drink at nearly every 'I never'."

"So did I."

Neville stood up as well, a little unsteady on his feet. "Yes, well, we can't all have the absolutely stupendous memory that you have." Draco had a knack for remembering the most insignificant detail months later, so it was no surprise that he could remember everything after a night of heavy drinking. "Ugh," Neville groaned, clutching his head. He knocked back the Hangover Potion Seamus had left him and was thankful when his headache subsided straight away. He muttered a quick 'see you' to Draco, before leaving the Room of Requirement to head back to Gryffindor.

When Neville returned to his dorm, it was to find Dean and Seamus sat on his bed with matching Cheshire Cat-like grins on their faces.

"What?" Neville asked, not in the mood to deal with the pair of them.

"My, my, Neville, aren't you just full of surprises?" Seamus let his eyes wander over Neville, as if he was really seeing him for the first time.

"We never knew you were so kinky."

"Shut it, the both of you." Neville went over to his trunk and began to change into fresh clothes, ignoring the almost hungry stares of his two friends as he did so.

"So, how good a fuck is he?" Seamus asked, trying to keep his tone casual, though Neville could sense his eagerness to know the answer.

"He must be good if you keep going back," Dean added.

Neville, his patience wearing thin, pulled a t-shirt over his head and turned to face them, "Not that it's any of your business, but he's bloody fantastic actually. Not that I'd ever say that to his face, he doesn't need his ego inflating anymore," he added as an afterthought.

"I've always wondered what he'd be like in bed," Dean said, his eyes glazed over as if he was trying to imagine it.

"Oi! I'm right here!" Seamus nudged his boyfriend playfully.

"Oh, please, you know you'd shag him in a heartbeat if he asked."

Seamus appeared to consider it for a moment. "...Yeah, you're right."

"Anyway!" Neville interrupted, keen to change the subject to something other than sex with Draco, "I'm going down to breakfast, you guys coming?"

"Not yet, but I'm sure we will be soon enough," Seamus said, a hungry look in his eyes as he eyed up his boyfriend.

Neville rolled his eyes at the innuendo, "Right, well, just don't have sex on my bed." He escaped the dormitory quickly, knowing that Dean and Seamus would start shagging regardless of whether he was there or not and headed down to breakfast.

Once he entered the Great Hall he felt as though all eyes were on him. He was just being paranoid; the younger years paid him no more attention than usual, but the eighth years - those who weren't hungover anyway - were all giving him amused glances, as were some of the seventh years. News travelled fast at Hogwarts, something which Neville had always loathed. Why couldn't some things just stay secret? He sat down opposite Ginny, something he instantly regretted when he saw the look on his best friend's face.

"Alright," Neville sighed, resigned to his fate, "who told you? Was it Seamus? Dean?"

"Hannah, actually," Ginny replied matter-of-factly as she took a bite of her toast.

Neville groaned.

"Why did you never tell me you and Malfoy are together?"

"We're not together."

"Okay, then why didn't you tell me the two of you were shagging?"

"Because," Neville started as he poured himself a bowl of cereal, "it's none of your business and it was in the middle of a war where, if the wrong person found out, we could both end up dead."

Ginny adopted a mock offended look, "Don't you trust me?"

Neville, not realising she wasn't being serious, was quick to reassure, "Well, yes, of course I trust you, but-"

Ginny cut him off before he could finish, "Relax, Neville, I was just kidding. I get it."

"It doesn't matter now anyway."

"You're not shagging anymore?"

Neville shrugged, "Last night was the first time we'd spoken since seventh year."

"And?"

"Well, I think his silence was a pretty clear message that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore."

"Then why is he staring at you like he'd rather have you for breakfast than the piece of toast he's holding and sending me evil glares like he's jealous?"

"What?"

Ginny nodded, gesturing for Neville to look behind him. Neville turned to look over his shoulder, but Draco quickly looked away when he realised he'd been caught staring.

"He is so crazy about you."

"You're the crazy one."

"Fine. Don't believe me. The two of you will just have to live in denial for the rest of your lives."

"I'm not in denial," Neville said, somewhat unconvincingly Ginny thought.

"Oh? So you admit you are crazy about him then?"

"W-what? No!" Neville spluttered.

"Oh, please, Neville, I may not have been there last night, but Hannah told me all the dirty little details of what happened."

"What dirty little details?" Neville asked, unsure if he actually wanted to know the answer.

Ginny smirked. "That Malfoy's a flirty drunk and you're a jealous one."

"Gin, I have no idea what you're on about."

"You really don't remember?" Ginny prodded, disbelieving.

"Do I look as though I do?"

"Malfoy was being very affectionate with Zabini and you got all jealous and possessive and snogged the life out of him."

Neville groaned as it all came flooding back to him.

"There it is. So, as I said before, you're crazy about him."

"I hate you."

"Love you too."

Neville really hated Ginny sometimes. She was his best friend and he loved her, but sometimes he really hated her. Because of her, for the rest of the day the only thing he could concentrate on was Draco Malfoy and whether he had feelings for him. He was sat in the Library, trying in vain to do his homework. Damn Ginny and her words for confusing him. It didn't help that he kept seeing Draco wherever he went around the castle. They shared classes together, of course, but outside of classes he kept seeing him as well. It was probably just a coincidence, but Neville couldn't help but wonder if Draco was actively seeking him out for some reason. He was there wherever Neville went. In the bathroom, in the Library, down by the lake. He was always there. Draco never approached him, never once made an effort to come and talk to him; Neville caught him staring more than a fair few times but that was it. Neville was more than a little annoyed at this. After everything that he'd been through the previous year, after everything they'd both been through, Neville would have thought that Draco would at least ask how he was doing. But there had been nothing, not even an owl. Maybe he hadn't really cared about Neville at all.

It all came to a head one night. It was way past midnight and Neville was out on one of his nightly wanderings. They happened more often than he liked to admit, when he'd had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep, didn't want to get back to sleep.

He often felt guilty for waking Seamus and Dean up, but they insisted that they didn't mind, said that everyone needed to be there for each other after everything they'd gone through during the war.

Neville had had it tougher than most at Hogwarts; the Carrows had often taken pleasure out of torturing him, and Neville would be lying if he said it hadn't left him scarred in more ways than one. Seamus was the one who understood the most as he'd been there, whereas Dean hadn't. It had just been the two of them in the dorm, and Seamus was the one who had healed his wounds at the end of the day. Draco, though, was the one who had kept him sane, who had given him something to look forward to, something real to grasp onto, something to hope for.

He'd been foolish to think that he was past it all, that he was over it. Of course he wasn't. He had nightmares most nights and he still flinched whenever someone he wasn't completely comfortable around touched him.

That night had been his worst one since the war and it had all been triggered by the front page of the Evening Prophet.

Neville wandered round the castle aimlessly, not really noticing where he was going, the article that had triggered that night's nightmare clenched in his fist. It was times like these he was thankful that the eighth years had been given free reign of the castle, even at night. Without realising where he was going, he soon found himself down in the Dungeons and in front of the Slytherin Common Room. He slumped down the wall opposite the entrance, his arms resting on his bent knees and his head resting on the wall behind him.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there for, but eventually the entrance opened and Blaise appeared. "Longbottom," he acknowledged, noting the distress on Neville's face, "you here to see Draco?"

Neville sighed, "Yes, I suppose I am."

"He's in the dorm, I'll take you to him."

"Thanks," Neville replied as he stood up. He followed Blaise through the Slytherin Common Room and into the eighth year boys dorm, ignoring all the curious stares he received.

"Neville! What are you doing here?" Draco asked as soon as Neville had set foot in the dormitory.

Blaise quietly left as Neville shuffled over to Draco and handed him the crumpled Evening Prophet page, not saying anything and sitting down on Draco's bed.

Draco's eyes widened as they scanned the headline; Amycus and Alecto Carrow had escaped Ministry custody pending their trials. "Shit. Are you alright?" It was a stupid question to ask, anyone with eyes could see that Neville wasn't okay. He had dark circles under his eyes and his expression was lined with anxiety and fear. Neville Longbottom was far from okay.

"No." Neville didn't even try to deny it.

Draco threw his arms around Neville in a tight, comforting hug that was rather uncharacteristic of him. Neville unconsciously recoiled for a brief moment before he wrapped his arms around Draco and let himself do something he had never allowed himself to do before. He fell apart. Throughout everything that had happened, Neville had not once cried. He'd been the brave Gryffindor for far too long, though, so he let it all out. Part of him felt embarrassed for crying into the shoulder of Draco Malfoy of all people, but that part was quashed by the catharsis he felt from finally letting all his anguish out.

Once he'd cried it all out, he pulled back from Draco and leaned against the bedpost behind him, wiping his eyes as he did so. "I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to apologise for, Neville. You needed to let it all out."

They were both quiet for some time, until Neville spoke again. "I think I need to see someone. A Healer."

"Yeah?" Draco prompted.

Neville nodded. "I haven't been dealing with it well. I keep trying to push it to the back of my mind, to forget about it, but it only makes the nightmares worse when they come."

"Maybe you should speak to Professor Snape?" Draco suggested. "He already knows everything that happened and he used to see a Healer himself. He might be able to suggest someone you could speak to."

"Yeah, thanks. I might just do that."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Neville, having calmed down completely now, nodded and said, "Actually, could I stay here tonight? I always feel safer around you." He said the last part quieter, almost as if he was embarrassed to admit it, as if Draco would make fun of him for even suggesting such a thing.

Draco did no such thing and instead said, "Of course. Do you need something to sleep in?"

Neville nodded. "Just a t-shirt will do, thanks."

Draco got off the bed and began to rummage around in his trunk, finally retrieving something suitable for Neville to sleep in. "It might be a bit small, you're bigger than me."

"S'okay. I'm sure it'll be fine. Thanks." He took the t-shirt from Draco and started to strip off with his back to Draco, too emotionally drained to even think about being shy about his body in front of Draco. When he turned back round, clad only in his boxers and the t-shirt, it was to find Draco staring at him. "What?" He asked, suddenly self-conscious.

"The scars…" Draco's sentence trailed off as he didn't know how to finish it.

Neville knew what Draco was talking about straight away. The scars on his back.

"I didn't know you had those," Draco said.

"No, you wouldn't." Since they'd never seen each other entirely naked before (they'd always been in too much of a hurry to completely strip off) Draco had never seen the scars that littered his back from being tortured by the Carrows.

"Who…?" Draco almost didn't want to know the answer, but part of him felt protective, like he needed to find whoever it was that had done this and make them pay for what they'd done to his Neville.

"Alecto Carrow. She had a particular fascination with cutting curses."

Draco felt anger swell up inside him; he was now even more determined to hunt down Alecto - and Amycus - and show Neville that they would never again be able to hurt him. "Do they hurt?"

Neville shook his head, "No. I don't even notice they're there anymore." Neville went to use the bathroom and when he returned, Draco was already in bed, but having shifted over to make room for Neville. After a moment's hesitation, Neville slid under the covers and the two of them laid there awkwardly for several minutes until Neville suddenly snorted, "This is ridiculous. We've shagged more times than I can count, yet this is awkward." He reached out for Draco's hand and intertwined their fingers.

They both visibly relaxed and lay in silence for a while until Draco spoke, "Why are you here?"

Neville turned his head to look at Draco, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No," Draco looked at Neville, "that's not what I meant. I mean, why come to me?"

Neville didn't hesitate in his reply, "You're the only one that knows, that understands."

"But what about Weasley?"

"What about her?" Neville asked, confused.

"Aren't you dating her?"

"No!" Neville objected, the thought making him feel nauseous. She was more like a sister to him than anything else, plus he had no interest in girls whatsoever. "Wherever did you get that idea from?"

Draco shrugged, "Well, the two of you have seemed pretty close recently…"

"She's my best friend! Besides which, she's dating Harry."

"What about Lovegood then?"

Neville gave Draco an incredulous look. Out of the two of them, Neville would never have thought Draco would be the insecure one. "She's dating a magizoologist she met over the summer."

"So…"

Neville rolled his eyes at the ridiculousness of the conversation. "Draco, I'm gay. I have no interest in girls whatsoever. I thought that was made pretty clear with the amount of shagging we did last year."

Draco had an almost defensive note to his voice when he said, "You could be bisexual. I am."

"So if anything, I should be the one questioning your relationship with your female friends."

Draco spluttered at that, "Pansy's like a sister to me, and Daphne's shagging some Ravenclaw. You've got nothing to worry about."

"And what about Blaise?"

"Blaise isn't a girl," Draco pointed out the obvious.

"I know that, but you were all over him that night in the Room of Requirement."

"I'm not interested in him. I used to be, but I'm not anymore."

There was silence for a few moments and Draco thought that Neville had fallen asleep until he said, "I don't even know why we're having this conversation, we're not a couple."

Draco turned onto his side so he could face Neville. He took a deep breath, mustered all the courage he had and said, "Maybe we should be."

Neville turned his head so fast that it was a surprise he didn't get whiplash. He studied Draco's face for a moment or two, but when he found nothing but sincerity and hope written on his features he smiled and said, "Yeah, alright."

That night was the first time the both of them slept peacefully.

Reviews are always appreciated. :D