I don't own The Cloud Song. That was written, sung, drawn, and animated by Nellie Melton. (I put the link for it in my profile-if you watch it, this thing'll be a whole lot funnier.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Atop the floating ice village Koorime, Ruri was about to toss the baby Hiei over the edge.
"May you have good fortune." She whispered, tucking Hina's tear gem into his bandages. A small smile crossed her lips. "And good hair." She added. Koorime maidens took great pride in their hair...for some reason. With those final words, she cast baby Hiei over.
-x- Many years later -x-
Hiei has returned to Koorime to find his mother and to learn the secret of the Hair Cement.
"It is because of our God." One villager said. "Cloud, from Final Fantasy VII."
"Talking in Roman Numerals won't save you." He sneered back. "Show me this...Cloud."
The villager took Hiei to a shrine and opened a tiny door. At once, a song began to play.
"My name is Cloud, I have a sword. I fight cactuars, because I'm bored. I like to ride on Chocobos. It's better than having afros. And when I go into an Inn, 15 seconds, it's day again! I will use a Pheonix Down so when I die I will not frown. Because I am Cloud. My hair defies all gravity. And I can't have too many potions or I might get cavities! If I can't slice you, then that's okay. I'll use my magic anyway. I will defeat that Sephiroth because he's not David Lee Roth!"
The villager nodded wisely while clapping.
Hiei stared at her in disbelief. "So that's why my hair's like this? Because you worship a Final Fantasy 7 character?"
"Not Final Fantasy 7." The villager corrected. "Final Fantasy VII."
"AARRRGGHHH!" Hiei screamed, slicing through the villager with his sword.
And thus, Hiei slaughtered every Koorime there. Even to this day, what transpired on that fateful day haunts his dreams.
"My name is Cloud, I have a sword..."