A/N: Hi guys! I just really wanted to write something after watching the season finale of The Fosters. So this is an idea I had after having seen that last scene with Nick. It would mean so much if you wanted to read and leave a review.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Fosters, obviously.
Chapter 1
May 2016
"Mariana? Are you with me?" Mariana turned her focus from the birds in the big oak outside the window. Forcing herself to meet the gaze of the elderly, smiling woman across from her.
"How are you today, Mariana?"
How do you think I am?
"Would you like to tell me what you were thinking about just now?"
No, not really. The silence was deafening. Mariana wanted nothing more than to turn her gaze back out the window. Disappear. Disappear. Disappear.
"If not, maybe we could talk about fears?", Doctor Moore pressed. " We don't have to talk about your fears. Just fears in general. I can start if you'd like? Well, when I was young I-" Mariana nodded. Tried to listen. Failed. She always tried. And she always failed. She always would fail. She turned her gaze out the window, but the birds were gone.
Lena took her home that afternoon, the kitchen already buzzing with her siblings.
"Hi, Miss Thing. Did therapy go okay?" Mariana nodded.
"Good. That's good. Well, we were just having a snack. Any of you want anything?" Mariana sat down. The buzzing of her siblings used to calm her. Before. Before everything. Now it made her numbness subside, but instead of feeling at peace, she felt the sea raging in her head, in her heart. She stood. Felt the buzz in the room die down. Looked up, looked back down. Turned around and walked up the stairs.
She wanted to take a shower. She always took a shower when she came home from the therapist. She always took a shower when she came home.
The hot water made her feel like she was burning. She welcomed it, welcomed the feeling of the fire licking down her spine. It made her feel something. A knock on the door and she turned the shower of.
"Mariana?" It was Jude. "Dinner's in ten. Moms said you should come down and have something to eat." She could hear his footsteps as he ascended down the stairs.
"So, how was school today?", Lena asked as the passed around the lasagna. Brandon said something. Something about Senior Ditch Day coming up and Callie added to the conversation. Mariana felt her brother eyeing her wearily and looked sideways to meet his gaze. She wanted to reach out to him. Wanted to tell him it was okay. That he could be happy. That she was okay. But she wasn't okay. Was she ever going to be okay?
Really hope you enjoyed it! Don't let the muggles get you down, folks.