"I need a volunteer from the audience!" he cried, kicking it up a couple more notches.
"Me, me!" howled Shrek, tearing through the audience like he did through the velvet rope in the first Shrek movie. Pretty soon, Shrek was on stage before Emeril Lagasse could even accept his cheerfully large volunteer. "What is your name?" Emeril asked the eager ogre.
"I'm Shrek," said Emeril's number-one fan, "and I love to cook!"
"Well, Shrek, I would like you to taste my newest dish," said a confident Emeril Lagasse.
Shrek served himself a large bowl of Emeril's latest dish and began eating without hesitation. Suddenly, Shrek's face grew green with confusion, which drew Emeril Lagasse's attention.
"What's the matter, Shrek?" asked Emeril Lagasse.
"It's just…" Shrek hesitated, "I didn't know we were making Shreksican food!"
The audience boomed with laughter.
"But, in all seriousness," Shrek continued, "I think we need to Shrek things up a notch."
"Today," he continued, "we are going to make swamp stew!" "Hooray!" bellowed the audience. Stomping and whistling ensued as the audience tossed their rats in the air. Master swamp-chef Shrek positioned his ingredients on the counter. "Let me show you how a real chef does it!" suggested Chef Shrek. One by one, Chef Shrek arranged the ingredients into the rat stew dish, kicking it up more notches than ever before! Emeril Lagasse was stunned!
"BAM! I never seen such culinary grace!" said Emeril to Chef Shrek.
"I would like to appoint you head of my personal culinary team!"
The audience went wild and everyone rushed to the T-shirt booth to purchase their own Chef Shrek T-shirts.
"Looks like this show is ogre!" said the culinary comedy genius.
The crowd laughed at Chef Shrek's funny joke. They then cried, as there were not enough Chef Shrek shirts to go around, which resulted in panic.