Hey guys,
So one night I was messing around and I had this idea that I was going to turn into a one-shot. Then it was just going to be snippits of NJ's season 3 journey as I wanted it. But, once I started writing the ideas grew into something much larger and I decided to make this a multi-chapter piece. This chapter is very long, I don't know if this is going to be the norm but I felt like all of it was needed to set up the rest of the story. I would classify this fic as a bit of a hot mess. You'll see why when you see what the characters get themselves involved in. This won't be a smooth ride so be prepared. ;)
Special shout out to the NJ thread at FanForum. Along with Nate and Jenny, you guys are my inspiration. Special thanks to Susan for all her feedback and for the last line Jenny speaks to Nate in this chapter. It's so good but I can't take credit for it.
Reviews would make me happy. Enjoy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got this icebox where my heart used to be
got this icebox where my heart used to be
I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold.
When their plane landed in JFK, Nate and Vanessa couldn't get away from each other fast enough. Summer Pierogi tour 2009 hadn't gone as planned and Nate was relieved to be back on US soil. The guilt and confusion pouring over him was too much to handle with Vanessa boring holes in his skull with her deadly glare.
"Let me help you with that," Nate said as he bent down to pick up Vanessa's large suitcase.
"Don't bother Nate. Wouldn't want you to break it like you do everything else you touch," Vanessa spit back.
Vanessa was seething with anger. She had even tried to get her seat switched on the plane so she didn't have to be near Nate Archibald one more painful minute. This time she was sure it was over between them. The tears came as soon as the cab pulled away from the curb, leaving Nate surrounded by his bags looking more lost than he's ever been.
Nate stood there exasperated. He couldn't understand why he always ended up in this place. He's seen that look on Vanessa's face one too many times. Hell, he's seen that look on Blair's as well and even Jenny's who he didn't think even cared enough to be upset with him. She had that face once too. Nate rubbed his eyes. Fatigue, jet-lag, and despair had finally set in. He arrived home, threw down his bags, and stepped into the shower. He didn't feel like thinking anymore tonight.
-------x-------x-------n-------j-------x-------x-------
It was 8:00pm and Jenny was just getting out of the shower. The week had been a whirlwind of "end of summer" parties. After her sweet 16, Jenny never thought Lily would allow another party but two weeks ago she agreed to let Jenny throw a coronation bash officially kicking off her new role as Queen of Constance. The party was the talk of the summer and Jenny was proud of herself for assuming her title with such ease.
Tonight would be another wild night she thought to herself. Jenny and her girls would be hitting up Butter and then a NYU party that Dan had told them about. Jenny was convinced Dan was born to go to that school. He fit there like a glove and became instantly popular. Jenny laughed to herself at the irony of the Brooklyn Humphrey's finally becoming popular.
As Jenny rushed to get ready, she remembered the last time she was at Butter. Nate came with her and he helped her win back the minions. She smirked when she recalled how she pushed him down onto the chair between the girls. She felt so…alive. But, Nate always made her feel that way.
"Ouch, shit. Dammit!" Jenny shouted as she realized the curling iron had burned her finger. The searing pain she was in reminded her of how Nate had hurt her last year at the Snowflake Ball. "You're not who I thought you were." Those words had burned right through her. She cursed herself for letting her mind wander to that dark place where she remembered how she once felt about him. That was in the past her head said, trying desperately to win the war with her heart. Nate had left 3 months ago for Europe with Vanessa. And Jenny had spent all summer trying to get rid of his memory.
Jenny ran her finger under the cold water in the sink and it felt so good. At that moment, a chill ran through her veins. For the first time, Jenny could feel nothing. She was ice and she was now sure more than ever that tonight was going to be a wild night.
-------x-------x-------n-------j-------x-------x-------
At 12:30am, Chuck was sitting in his room sipping scotch and impatiently awaiting Blair's arrival. She was out to dinner with Serena but had assured him she would be back by midnight for dessert and a nightcap. Just as he was getting out his phone to text her, Chuck heard a knock at his bedroom door.
He quickly stood up, placed his scotch down with one hand, and loosened his tie with the other. He wasn't about to waste one more minute on mere formalities like articles of clothing.
"You really know how to keep a man waiting my…Nathaniel?" Chuck tilted his head to the side in confusion and then disgust when he realized it was a pathetic looking Nate standing at his door instead of a half-dressed Blair.
Nate smiled sheepishly. "I always knew you loved me Chuck, but wow I didn't think it was THAT much."
"Oh please, Nathaniel you have always been the needy one. Speaking of needy, how is Vanessa?"
Nate let out a heavy sigh. "We're done, man. I don't want to talk about it." Nate was hoping that Chuck wouldn't bring that up. All he wanted was for his best friend to take his mind off things. Nate had screwed up so badly and he was realizing that it might be too late to fix it all.
"Well, why are you here then? Blair should be showing up any minute with strawberries and champagne and I was getting myself…prepared." Chuck smarms with a sly smile.
"Dude, spare me the intimate details. My life is in the shitter right now." Nate sat on the edge of Chuck's bed with his shoulders slumped looking defeated.
"Nathaniel, if you came here for pity you will not get it from me. But I can offer you a cocktail." Chuck reaches for an empty glass and pours some scotch in it for Nate.
Nate takes the glass from Chuck's out-stretched hand and finishes it in one large gulp. He looks up and asks, "Got any green? I could really use a smoke sesh."
Chuck sighs. "When are you going to get it my friend? Stop trying to escape your life and do something productive."
"This, coming from Chuck Bass of all people." Nate says.
"While you were backpacking," Chuck says the word with such disdain, "I was growing up. I run a billion dollar company and I'm in love. If Chuck Bass can change his ways, so can you." Chuck then puts a hand on Nate's shoulder and leans down close to his face.
"Man up, Nathaniel. Figure out what it is that you want and attain it. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to call Blair." Chuck says softly in almost a whisper. And with that, Chuck ushers a frustrated Nate out the door and into the hallway of the van der Bass apartment.
-------x-------x-------n-------j-------x-------x-------
By the time Jenny and her royal court arrived at the apartment holding the NYU party they were wildly drunk. Emma who was once Jenny's nemesis is now her right hand, heir apparent to the throne, and linking arms with J as they strut down the sidewalk. There are two other girls with them Elise and another junior named Jackie. They were the hottest girls at Constance and the only high schoolers invited to this college party. Just as Jenny reached for the door, another much larger hand did the same. Their hands touch at the doorknob. She notices that his hands are cold just like hers and it excites her.
"Let me get that for you sweetheart," a deep sexy voice smoothes.
"I got it thanks," Jenny says sarcastically and looks up to find a pair of smoldering green eyes staring at her behind a mess of jet-black hair. The boy, or should she say man, smiles a devilish grin at her. Jenny's heart nearly stops beating in her chest. After what seems like an eternity, Jenny pulled herself together, pushes open the door, and heads into the building, royal court in tow.
"Ohmigod J did you see that guy! He was totally hot!" Emma shrieks as they reach the elevator.
"Jesus Em, can you keep it in your pants for five fucking minutes? This is a college party, guys. Be fucking cool and don't embarrass me." Jenny warns the overanxious bunch as she hits the button for the fifth floor. Before they walk in, Queen J has one last piece of advice. "Ok ladies, find some booze, some boys, or both. Just don't over-do it with either. I'll be back, just gotta find Dan." Jenny winks and the royal court fans out as she makes her way towards the commotion in the kitchen.
"Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!"
Jenny hears at least 12 kids shouting in a circle and pumping their fists in the air. She moves quicker now, realizing her brother who was always a bit punchy has gotten himself into another fight. She pushes past several drunk people expecting to find a very bloody Dan laying on the ground. Instead, she sees her brother hoisted in the air by two frat dudes. Dan has one hand bracing himself on the keg he's currently drinking from. He finishes his keg stand, wipes his mouth, and smiles as the crowd cheers.
"Thank you, thank you" Dan chuckles drunkenly as he high fives a couple of inebriated bystanders. At this point he sees Jenny and his face lights up.
"Jen! Jen you're here. This party is awesome right? I mean look at me. Dan Humphrey… I'm wasted. That was my fifth keg stand in two hours, my blood alcohol level is probably well past the legal limit at this point, not that it's legal because I'm still underage but you know what I m-…"
"Dan!" Jenny is now hysterical laughing at her drunken rambling brother. "How about you let your sis do one?" Jenny smirks at Dan.
Dan's eyes narrow. "No way little sis. You can't handle it."
"God Dan, whatever. Hey, who wants to help me do a keg stand?" Jenny shouts into the crowd as Dan turns to one of his friends who is handing him a shot of something.
"Forget beer," the same dark and sexy voice from before sneers at Jenny. "Have some of this." The dark haired boy from outside is now handing her a bottle of Dom Perignon. Jenny may be from Brooklyn but she knows expensive champagne when she sees it. She flashes that brilliant smile of hers, takes the bottle from him, and takes a large swig.
"Thanks." Jenny really looks at him now. He is about 6 feet tall, lean but with very defined shoulder and arms. He's wearing black dress pants, black dress shoes, and a dark grey dress shirt. His sleeves are carelessly rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned. On his wrist is a platinum, diamond-encrusted watch that probably costs more than her old loft in DUMBO. His hair, jet black is a bit wavy and falls in front of his gorgeous green eyes.
"I'm Jax, it's a pleasure to meet you miss--?" the handsome man pauses waiting for Jenny to offer her name.
"Jenny. My name's Jenny. I'm sorry, did you say your name was Jax?" She blurts out wishing she was a bit more sober for this conversation.
"Well, my real name is William Jackson Davis III but everyone calls me Jax." His words flow like cold water from his lips and Jenny shivers because this boy is seriously sexy but she's sure he's also very, very bad news. Just as Jenny is contemplating the endless amounts of bad decisions she could make involving more champagne and more Jax, she sees Emma looking queasy on a couch in the corner.
"Shit, I have to go. I think my friend needs me. Sorry." Jenny pushes past him on her way to Emma as Jax looks on intrigued. He is determined to find out more about this girl.
Jenny grabs Jackie and Elise and tells them to hail a cab. She plans to meet them downstairs with Emma in five minutes. Just as she lifting Emma from her seat on the couch, she hears a familiar voice behind her.
"Hey, Jenny. Dan didn't tell me you were coming. How are you?" Jenny turns to see none other than Vanessa Abrams standing there. The last person Jenny wants to encounter while pissed off and drunk. At once, she turns back to Emma and away from Vanessa's pathetic face.
"I kinda got my hands full here V. No time for the fake small talk." Jenny bites back. She is in no mood.
"What's your deal Jenny?" Vanessa's face scrunches up like it always does when she plays the victim card.
Jenny's laugh is dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, please Vanessa. It's time to stop pretending we're friends. Shouldn't you be eating pierogies with Nate or riding a llama down the side of a mountain somewhere that's not fucking here?"
"You still on that Jenny? Nate didn't want you. Time to get over it."
Jenny scoffs. "Oh and Nate wanted you when he left your ass for Blair? When will you get it Vanessa? Nate likes you because you're the only girl desperate enough to take him back. Can't believe you let him come to Europe with you." Jenny shakes her head as she tries steadying Emma.
"Shut up Jenny. Right now."
Jenny whips her head around and glares at Vanessa. The look in Vanessa's eyes screams vindication so Jenny decides to push her luck. "Wait a minute. He left you again didn't he?"
Vanessa is silent but her eyes say it all. For once, Jenny doesn't care about her feelings. In fact, she doesn't care about anything. She laughs maniacally. Tears begin to trickle down Vanessa's cheeks but Jenny doesn't even look back as she drags a stumbling Emma out the door and into the hallway.
-------x-------x-------n-------j-------x-------x-------
It was around 1:15am when Jenny arrived at the apartment her father and Lily shared. Jenny was grateful that Lily distracted her father enough that he didn't notice she usually arrived home past her 1:00am curfew. The few times she got caught, Lily had convinced Rufus to let it go.
Jenny got into the elevator, leaned up against the wall for support, and closed her eyes. Damn, she was drunk. Jenny smiled to herself, thinking about the boy she had met tonight. She hoped Dan invited her to another college party so she had a chance of seeing him again. She must have dosed off for a moment because the next thing she knew the elevator doors were opening. When she opened her eyes she was sure she was living a nightmare because Nate was standing on the other side.
"Jenny? What are you doing here?" Nate asked with that same adorable confused expression he usually wears.
"Nate freakin' Archibald. Fantastic." Jenny slurred as she made her way past him. She couldn't deal with seeing him right now. She was finally ok, she met a boy she thought was hot tonight, and here Nate was to rain on her parade. Typical.
"Jenny…wait. You live here? Are you drunk?" Nate's heart was racing now as he watched the girl sidle past him smelling like a mixture of alcohol and that distinct Jenny smell. He had forgotten how good she smelled.
"Your mental acuity astounds me. How did you ever guess?" Jenny sniped at him as she continued walking past. Nate grabbed her wrist but she shook him off.
"Jenny, let me at least help you to bed. Please." Nate pleaded as he walked beside her, following her down the hall towards what he assumed was her bedroom.
"Oh, I'm sure you'd love that." Jenny retorts.
"You know it's not like that Jen. I'm your friend."
"Seriously, spare me your Archi-drama. Me and you...we're nothing." And with that Jenny enterered her room and slammed the door in Nate Archibald's face.