It was dark. Spike's leather pants crinkled, as he whipped out a cigarette. Something moved in the shadows. Angel strode out, smelling of booze and of a slayer's vagina. Spike stirred in his wheelchair, as Angel moved closer with no leather pants.
Angel stalked towards Spike without a word promptly flipping Spike around and buttfucking him right in his wheelchair. Spike wanted to say something but was shocked into silence. Angel came with a groan and whispered in Spikes ear. "where are my leather pants?"
"I can't tell you." Spike whispered back. "I'm too tired." And he fell asleep coolly in his wheelchair. Angel sat on a table, naked and looking for leather pants..suddenly something happened. Something gripping his heart and soul. "Something's gripping my heart and soul." He started putting clothes on as the pain ripped through him. He could barely get on his socks. He could barely see straight the pain was so great but he finally managed to pull on his velcrow shoes and he ran outside. It was raining so hard he couldn't hear his own heavy panting. He fell to his knees and ground out the only name that came to his mind... "Buffy..." then everything went dark.
A woman smoking came to see the hubbub when angel jumped up to his feet. "Oh my god, I'm angelus again. And it's not because of Buffy." He jerked off quickly as the woman approached. "Are you ok?" She asked. "Things are about to get interesting." Angel grabbed the girl and fucked her..."I think I'm just fine." He exhaled come out of his mouth.
Upon discovering that he was indeed Angelus again he immediately set off to find his leather pants (which were essential in order to let everyone who was anyone know he was Angelus without actually telling them). The rain had stopped abruptely and he was miraculously dry from head to toe. He headed off towards the graveyard where he might have buried his leather pants pondering why Buffy could not give him one true moment of happiness and why he had such a thing for blondes.
Buffy was waiting in angel's crypt when the door creaked open. "Angel?" Two voices asked eagerly. "Spike?" Buffy looked at the forlorn Spike wheeling around. "Dammit, get out of here big bit." Spike thumped his legs for emphasis. "Angel should be here any moment and we will love each other in a vampire way. You will just have to wait." "Oh my god angel." Buffy lit spike on fire and ran over to angel pretending not to notice his leather pants. "I was worried." Angelus looked at her and scoffed. "Maybe you'll get lucky if your lucky." He grabbed spike, wheelchair and all, and walked off in a huff.
Buffy was left alone in Angel's crypt pondering the meaning of life. After standing there dramatically for several minutes in the dark she decided to go back home and to act like nothing had ever happened, hoping that people would notice something was wrong. Meanwhile Angel and Spike were busy talking about wedding plans.
"I want lilies." Spike stated. "Fuck that. Puppies only." Angel scoffed. "I'm freaking out." Spike said through clenched teeth. "I just want you. You are my mentor. I want you" There was a meaningful pause. "And I want you to grow your hair long again." "No." "Yes." "No." Angel drew out a stake which was laying next to his heart. "I'll kill you bitch. I'm the man in this relationship." "Never." Spike yelled. "Effulgent." "What ?" Angel gripped at his ears. "I can't take it anymore!!!"
"Everyday with this Spike!" shouted Angelus "I just can't take it". There was a long pause before Spike responded with "It's only been 12 hours, Angelus!" An awkward silence filled the room they shared. They both laid still refusing to be the one to break the silence staring into the canopy of the bed that, just 12 hours earlier Spike and Drusilla had shared. It was Angelus that broke the silence "I can't take it anymore". There were tears in Spike's eyes "You already said that". "No, I mean I can't take not having you anymore" Angelus said as he fliped himself over stradling Spike. As Angelus and Spike started to get it on neither of them noticed Drusilla hidden in the shadows "Miss Edith's been a bad girl, she doesn't get to watch" Drusilla whispered as she turned a doll to face the wall as she continued to be the sick, sick voyer that she is.
Then darla walked in, dressed in a kimono and led Drusilla off. After they were done, Spike realized that he could walk. "I can walk." "Damn." Angelus mused, still holding his stake. "Let's fight. We have a love\hate relationship." He popped Spike's collar, and Spike took out a sword. "Let's do this thing...master." He let the word roll off of his tongue. "I have to go see...the...judge." Angelus found his comment hilarious for some reason and pissed himself laughing.
"I'm discusted." Spike stated and swaggered off into the night, his long coat billowing in his wake. It was colder than it should be outside Spike thought, then he realized he was clad only in his leather jacket. He headed towards the Bronze to let off some steam after not being able to fight with Angelus due to him laughing histerically. Half way to the infamous dance club Spike saw something out of his perif... Buffy. "Spike?!?!" Buffy had a discusted look on her face. "I'm proud of my body!!" Spike shouted defensively.
"I know." she said. "Or I will know." There was an awkward silence. Spike started to butt fuck buffy when all of the scoobies walked in. "this is sick." They all said.. "Ok ok." Buffy sighed full of angst "angel is now angelus." There was a pause and everyone looked at each other and spike made the drinkie drinkie motion behind buffy's back. "Why am I naked?" giles asked
All of a sudden Angelus walked out from some bushes "Spike?". Spike lept off of Buffy, "I am ashamed" He said as he hung his head. The scoobies all backed away from Angelus and Spike, fear written all over their faces. Angelus stalked towards Spike reaching into this leather jacked. Spiked feared that it was his stake but what Angelus pulled out of his jacket surprized everyone... "Lilies?" "Yes, Spike, liles." Spike took the lilies and kissed Angelus passionately as the naked Giles started to play Closer by Nine Inch Nails.
With a punch that rocked the ages Angelus and spike beat each other crazy-like.."PWFFT" angel's fists burst into fire. Appalled for a moment, spike paused but then his fists turned into simon cowell. They were bruised bloody but they fucked dirty dammit.
But then the bronze blew the fuck up.
Who lived.
Who died.
Who knows.