PLOT: Sam and Dean successfully defeated Lucifer and sent him back to hell and they now hunt while being executive producers of the hit TV show Supernatural, an alternative way of them 'writing' the Winchester Gospel
NOTES: This idea formed in my head after "Sam Interrupted" and the whole PUDDING thing. I'm nuts, that's all you need to know I kind of want to write one for every single episode but in case I never do, I'll just put them in written order. If I get enough, I might put them in chronological order on LJ or something but they'll be in written order here. I'm just rambling now. But yeah.
DICLAIMER: I don't own them. I may have attempted to kidnap them though.
Dean's busy sexting that hot chick from the diner they'd been at a few hours earlier, when he hears Sam yell,
"SON OF A BITCH!" at the top of his voice. Dean ignores him at first, but Sam just gets louder so he switches off his beat up Walkman – seriously, he had an iPod for a day a while back and if that was what moving forward then...he's happy as he is – and he walks over to Sam.
"Dude, what the hell?" he asks and Sam just clenches his fists and growls and Dean barely refrains from whacking his giant head.
"The CW pushed back the new episode..." Sam whimpers and Dean blinks. New episode...? Oh! Right. New episode of Supernatural. That's show that parodies their lives, the show that Sam forces him to watch every week. Dean really doesn't give a shit. He leaves Sam to cry and roll around on the floor in agony and he logs on to Twitter, he figures that the fans online will have a more dignified response to all of this.
He figures wrong.
Dean snorts as he reads the tweets on Twitter. They';re all talking about salting and burning the CW. He shakes his head, freaking amateurs. Personally he doesn't see what the big deal is, that Nikita chick is hot. And, its just a week. Not that you'd know it with the way Sam was acting.
"I just can't believe it! They always treat Supernatural like shit! This is just them all over. And we've all had enough, we're boycotting the CW" Sam says and Dean chokes on the beer that he's been sipping as he ignores Sam. Boycott?
"Are you out of your mind? You do realise that they're the sole reason why we actually don't need to hustle anymore right? And I don't know about you but I like my burgers roach free" Dean barks and Sam at least has the courtesy to agree with that but-
"Even so, it's not about the money, we haven't made any extravagant purchases - we don't owe them anything!" Dean coughs. So now's not the time to mention the beach house in Tijuana, or the yacht. He'll totally defend spending a shitload on the first edition of Zeppelin V though.
"So, what are you going to do about this then?" he asks as he rolls his eyes. As he focuses back on Sam he sees that his brother dragging a huge bag of rocksalt into the room, and a container that looks suspiciously like a-
"Dude!" Dean exclaims, "Is that a gas can?"
Turns out that Sam is serious about burning down the CW. Dean refuses to a part of this. Sam always had it in for the show anyway, he complains that Jared Padawhatever is not tall enough and that the hair stylist doesn't do him justice. He complains about the angels "Seriously, why are they all so cruel". He complains about the sex scenes, "I would never engage in chair sex - this...this is slander!". He complains about Ruby - Dean won't even repeat what he said. He complains about EVERYTHING. Sam is pretty much the standard fangirl. He's pretty sure he caught Sam writing fanfic the other day. Who does that?
But anyway, back to Sam trying to burn down the CW. Dean hates how he's implicating himself but a. Sam is ready to blow shit up and b. He won't put his baby through that. So naturally, he ends up driving. Sam tweets the whole way and Dean just rolls his eyes. According to Sam, burning the CW HQ seems to be the general concensus amongst these...insane people that Sam insists on associating himself with. Dean doesn't have anything against people being a fan of something, just do they have to be so craxy about it? He still has nightmares about the time when they dealt with a ghost at a Justin Bieber concert. That shit was scary. Not the ghost - but the thousands of screaming pre-teens. Ugh. Pre-teens.
So, they get to CW HQ a few hours later and Dean's not surprised to see that no one is there. These are the kind of people after all who sit behind a computer or cell phone and vent. Turning up at CW HQ is probably to high maintenance for them.
"Must you be so rude?" Sam asks with a frown and Dean shrugs. It's freezing, and he's outside some stupid building because his stupid brother wants to blow it up. Yes, he's going to be rude. Sam digs into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. Dean's lighter. So not only is Sam implicating him, he now wants to frame him. Dean snatches the lighter and growls,
"Get your own damn lighter!" and Sam just gives Dean the puppy dog eyes. And Dean's actually disgusted, and he's not falling for it, besides,
"You'll never be able to top Jared Padawhatshisface's puppy dog eye thing so give it up, Sam" Dean says because there's no point in lying to the kid.
"Huh," Sam says sadly, "Fuck my life".
"Where is everybody anyway? I mean we were all tweeting about salting and burning the CW..." Sam ponders in a confused voice and Dean just wants to slap him because really? Who commits arson and possibly murder because their TV show was pushed back by half an hour! Crazy people, that's who,
"Well...we are kind of crazy, "Sam admits, "But we all love the show. You know...maybe burning down the CW isn't such a good idea..." Dean tenses up. His shoulders actually bunch up and he knows that they're going to be a bitch in the morning. He's gone from sexting...to-standing-outside-a-building-that-his-brother-is-attempting-to-burn-down-because-they-cancelled-a-show-that-essentially-mocks-their-lives-and-even-though-he-got-a-beach-house-in-Tijuana-out-of-this-and-a-yacht-and-an-invitation-to-the-Playboy-house-he's-so-fucking-angry-right-now-that-all-he-wants-to-do-is-burn-the-damn-building-already.
"Wait, what? You bought a beach house in Tijuana without telling me?" Sam says and Dean groans. He walks over to the trunk and takes the bag of rock salt out and the can of gas, after the slamming the trunk shut he turns to only to find Sam standing in his way.
"Move, "he practically yells but Sam doesn't budge.
"You can't burn down the CW, Dean! How will we get Supernatural another season if you do that?" Sam says all innocently like he wasn't the one who wanted to burn it down in the first place.
"I hate this stupid show, always have...I SHOULD BE THE ONE BURNING IT DOWN" Dean shouts, "AND I'M DAMN WELL GOING TO" and he tries to dodge past Sam who decides to make a grab for the lighter – they're still tussling when there's a loud bang as the entire building gets blown up.
Sam just stops and stares at the carnage, his eyes wide in shock while Dean just smirks with satisfaction. Both of them miss the fact that the sign that falls down says THE CUU. Dean hears some sort of wailing noise and he turns to Sam to ask him if he hears it too only to see Sam slumped onto the ground . Crying. Dean rolls his eyes. His brother is so dramatic.
Later that night after Sam has gone to bed Dean logs on to Twitter to see if that fans are still bitching. They are. But some of the have posted pictures of a protest outside CW HQ which is ver y much still in one piece and he frowns. Then he sees another tweet that says
OMG LOL THE CUU BUIDLING NEAR MY HOUSE JUST GOT BLOWN UP. THIS IS SIGN #SPN TWEEPS #SALTANDBURN THE CW1!
Dean sighs as he shuts down his laptop after yelling a few choice words at his screen. So, it looks like Supernatural will live on. He decides to let Sam mope and wallow in his misery because let's face it, he needs to get something out of this situation. But of course Sam picks that moment to come rushing out of his bed screaming,
"OMG, we went to the wrong CW HQ! Supernatural won't end any time soon!"
Dean really wants to cry.
Or get drunk.
Maybe he'll do both.
After he's knocked Sam out.
"How about a congratulatory beer?" he says with his biggest fake smile.