Me: Hola senors and senoritas! (and some in between) ARE YOU READY FOR THE NEXT JAMES BOND MOVIE?!? ARE YOU?!

Random crowd: YEAH!!!!!

Me: Well, too bad, cuz this is just a fanfic. ;D

Everyone: Aww...

Me: Meh, can up and let me explain the story! Sheesh...anywho, another one of my random, fast-updating fanfictions...ANYWAYS!!!! If you have a basic understanding of the English language (I REALLY hope so...) then the title is BaD MoRnInG, AkAtSuKi (no, not Bad Morning, Akatsuki, BaD MoRnInG, AkAtSuKi)

Read!

It was the average morning for me, waking up to find one of my favorite bedroom windows smashed to little glistening pieces of glass. I raised an eyebrow and frowned slightly.

'Aw damn, that was my fav window...awweh, time for breakie!' I thought, shrugging a weird feeling off and getting dressed in my normal black, baggy shorts with TONS of pockets, neon red t-shirt with the word "Nuu" in bold, black capital letters across the front, and the odd fishnet underneath those.

I sensed two incredibly strong chakra forms in my living room, so I shrugged and put on a forced smile.

"Sorry that you wondered in my house, but I can't let you live after this..." I muttered under my breath, rehearsing my lines, and I grinned a genuine grin this time. I snatched a couple of kunai and shuriken off my table and tied my headband around my forehead, ready for a quick kill. "Too bad Seduna won't be here to watch. She always loved violence."

I took a deep breath and waltzed out of my room casually, expecting a couple of hungry rogue ninja begging for scraps. To my great shock, Deidara and Tobi were on my couch arguing. Well, Deidara was punching Tobi, and Tobi was trying to dodge.

"Uh...guys? Do ya mind getting off my couch now?" I asked, but my words hit deaf ears as they continued arguing, so I took a deep breath, walked over to them, and screamed at the very tip-top of my lungs, "GET THE HELL OFF MY COUCH NOW!"

They were both sent crashing into the wall behind my TV, and I mock-dusted the couch with an invisible duster. "Ah, just how I like it; relatively clean and Akatsuki-member free."

"Oi Senpai, Tobi told you this was Kishi-chan's house..." a certain masked-man groaned to Deidara, who was grumbling angrily about "girls and their stupid mood swings, un..."

Then the blonde bomb artist sent a "death glare" my way, and I grinned crookedly. He shouted, "What the hell was that for, un?!"

I shrugged nonchalantly and threw my weapons on my wonderfully free couch.

"Eh, I asked peacefully at first, and you ignored me. Not my problem the Akatsuki have major hearing problems," I responded lightly and plopped down on the couch, grabbing the remote, and I started flipping through the channels, bored out of my insane mind.

By that point, Deidara was steaming like an overused sauna, and was glowering at a sniggering Tobi like he wanted to turn him into Tobi dango. Oo, speaking of dango...

"Meh, screw you," the bomb artist mumbled and I couldn't help but let a sly smile slide smoothly (wow, say that four times fast) across my face. "Well, we didn't come here for nothing, so are you coming peacefully, un?"

I cocked one of my eyebrows at him and my mind did a silent 'yes' as I passed by my favorite zombie movie, Shaun of the Dead. It was only about a half an hour into the movie, so I turned to it and glanced back at Deidara.

"Whaddya mean 'coming peacefully'? Who said I was going anywhere, DeiDei?" I snorted and could already imagine the tomato face of Deidara when I called him that. I could practically here the billowing smoke steaming out of his ears in a comical fashion. I cast my gaze momentarily at Tobi, who was poking his newly-acquired head wound and giggling quietly. 'And the age-old question pops in my mind: How the hell did these two get to join the Akatsuki? One's a complete girl in disguise, and the other...well, the other one is just Tobi.'

"God, you really are the idiot Itachi said you were, aren't you?" Deidara growled, and again, I shrugged casually, snickering quietly as Shaun blew off his Mum's head with a shotgun.

"God, you really are the feminine freak Sasuke said you were, aren't you?" I retorted and stuck my tongue out evilly at the fuming blonde. I could totally see how Tobi got a kick out of this; Deidara made it way too easy. "Anyways, I'm not going anywhere without getting some breakfast. Jeez, you Akatsuki are the worst stalkers ever; don't you know I don't leave the house without some form of breakfast food?"

That really set the blonde off, and he stomped over to me threateningly, though I paid no heed to it. He snapped, "Dammit, will you just come on?! You're dumber than Tobi, un!"

I glared at him and stood up. "Excuse me? First you get blood all in my walls, and then you insult me? Oh, there's no fudging way I'm going with you wussies now."

"I'M NOT A WUSS!" Deidara yelled and I nodded in agreement.

"Well yeah, you're not a wuss," I replied and Deidara seemed to calm down the slightest bit. Right into my bear trap. "I said you're a wussy."

Even Tobi laughed at that, and the bomb artist screamed in frustration and ran out, shrieking like the little girl he was, "GAH, I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYMORE! TOBI, COME ON, WE'LL GET SOMEONE ELSE TO CAPTURE HER!"

I shot a sideways glance at the masked goofball before he left, though when he passed by me, he leaned down and murmured quietly, "You're better than I am at pissing off Deidara."

'Uh, did Tobi just not use third-person speak? Totally odd...' I thought as the bipolar man waved and disappeared, probably to find his Senpai.

I ran a hand through my hair and shrugged slightly. My stomach rumbled and I grinned. 'Dango...'

Me: El oh el, just a random one-shot I had in my effed-up mind. I think I'm gonna make a sequel to this, where Itachi and Kisame try and take Kishiko. ^^ Can't wait to see how they commit an epic fail, eh?

R&R!

-Peachuz =3