I know I have stuff to finish but I felt like writing another RinxLen...because I still think they're soooo cute! XD Anyways whoever reads this, HOPE YOU ENJOY! :D

DISCLAIMER: Why do I need to start doing this again? - Vocaloid doesn't belong to me and never will.

Rin's POV

"Do you have to go?"

The boy with blond hair tied back in a ponytail repeated the question again, for the eleventh time today. I reply like I always did.

I nodded. "It's for my family..."

He looked down. My best friend, or should I say my crush, seemed as if he would tear up.

"Are you crying?" Oops, my bad. I've always been insensitive like this. But honestly, I wanted to cry so hard too.

"No," he said, trying to keep his manly pride. "I...just don't want you to leave."

He put his arms around me and buried my head into his chest. He smelled so good...

How could I respond?

"Rin, don't leave. Don't leave..."

I woke up with a start.

Pale sunlight filtered through the orange curtains and papers laid sprawled everywhere on my desk. I must've fallen asleep studying. I shuffled my notes back into my 1-inch binder.

My name is Rin Kagami. High school senior, valedictorian at Fujikima High. I've moved to this area 4 summers ago, as I was heading to my 9th grade. I had to; my father's job as an engineer had him stationed here, working in a new building approximately 5 cities away from where he used to work.

I never wanted to leave...especially after knowing him.

I packed my things into my school bag and prepared to go.

You know how when you tell yourself not to do these things and yet you uncontrollably do them? "Don't lose your keys...I swear, if you lose your keys..." then you lose them. "Don't ever look that up on Google again...don't, don't, DON'T..." you're on Google looking it up. Lately, I've been making vain efforts at trying to put this dream out of my head and those locked-up memories into the recycling bin...but I just can't.

...I had that same dream again. So much for "quality sleep"; I've barely gotten any for the past couple days. Considering this is "DEAD WEEK" (final exams are next week) it might be a little much to ask how I've been doing? Because I've been just that: Dead.

"Hi Rin-chan!"

I look up.

My friend Gumi Megpoid stood next to my desk a little shakily. Her eyes droop with black lines under them.

"Another all-nighter?" I inquire.

She sighs and sits at the desk next to mine.

"Thank God it's break-time though."

"...Yeah."

"So? Any plans once finals are over? Besides sleeping of course..."

I laugh.

My plans are usually the same: eat, study, sleep. A typical nerd.

But this time...I want to see if I can find him somewhere.

"I think I want to see someone," I say.

"Really," Gumi's leaf-green eyes suddenly light up, "Is it him?"

I blush. "M-Maybe."

"KKKYYYYYAAAAH! I'm so happy for you!"

She knows.

That boy in my dreams was my crush...at least my middle school one.

But...I'm not allowed to love him. He already has a...

Ding Ding Ding...

"Bye Rin!"

"Yeah, see you."

~Time Skip - Back at Home!~

"I'm home!" I shout to no one. My voice resonates through the house's walls.

I don't know why, but today, I've been thinking a lot about you-know-who. So, I pull out a picture book and try to recount my memories.

There's a lot: the amusement park, the carnival, the school dance...etc.

At every photo's caption, it says stuff like: Besties at "fill-in-the-blank".

...I don't understand how I even got here now.

I miss him.

What is saddest is that I can't even remember his name...I'm sure it started with a "L" or something. Sometimes I question my love for him.

If you love him, how can you forget something as important as his NAME!?

I don't know.

As I lay on my bed looking up at the ceiling fan, I think.

Summer break approaches and I have mixed feelings. Of course there's the sleeping, reading, fun in the sun that's to be had but this summer will be very bittersweet. Because I finally see college in my path of life and I will give up on all hope on seeing him ever again. But those are some of the troubles. My classmate, Teto texted me asking how I was doing. And I couldn't put my feelings to words; to be more exact, I don't know how I feel. So much uncertainty.

Life will run its course. But not in the way I want it to. Maybe I just wish time would slow down a bit so I could have time to appreciate the people and things I know and have. But I have realized a few things. The things in which I want to say to that one person.

*!~~~!*

1. Whenever I saw you, I usually wanted to jump-tackle-hug you to the ground and not let go. It was in those clear blue eyes of yours.
Something I couldn't really understand or identify. But you always looked at me with those eyes...and I melted. But I know if I asked you what it was,
it wouldn't help either of us; I couldn't forget it. So if I stopped believing in you, trusting in you, would it save some pain for me?

2. Words can't express this flood of emotion I feel whenever I saw your smile. I appreciated you're there for me, your faith in an idiot like me.
That has gotten me through so many things you will never finish counting. But you don't know that. I am so thankful to have you as my friend.
So I won't forget, I'll show these feelings to others in my life. I love you, and I'll never forget. Thank you.

3. That first conversation we had when we first met and became "friends". You told me you liked the look in my eyes. I always thought it was a joke.
Because my eyes reflected you: so you liked yourself...and that's why I laughed at that. But later I thought you meant the color of my eyes.
Your words always bothered me when they shouldn't. And I like that part of you. I love you the way you are.

4. I'm sorry. I forgive you. But you don't know how much you've hurt me. I know you were just speaking the truth, but you've taken
many years of my life I'll never get back, never forget, and I wish those days never even happened.

5. I know you have no clue what you have done. And you're totally oblivious to even know you've done something to injure my heart.
Maybe it's because I didn't tell you how I felt; that was my wrongdoing. I wish I could just go back in time and change some of the
choice angry words I had thrown into your face. I know by your expression that I've hurt you've pretty badly.
Because I know it is some, if not most, of it is my fault.

6. When I wake every morning, my first thought has always been you. It has been like that for 6 years. I wish I didn't ever think about you
ever since I departed.

7. I'm sorry if I've ever overreacted, over-analyzed, or overstepped the boundaries of our conversations in friendship.
Maybe I just don't know how I should exactly be like when I'm around you. I make everything more awkward than it should.
I guess that's what I should apologize for...

8. I didn't want to leave your side. And I never will want to. You're the only one left. I'm afraid that if I go, you won't be
that same boy I love; I've missed my chance. I've been keeping you in my head since 7th grade and I've been praying to God for us
to see each other again. Because if we do, you'll understand why I've probably drifted some. I'm realizing that as college comes,
I might really never see you again and I'll cry. I guess that's the only thing I can do.
I've been, even now and future, missing you terribly.

*!~~~!*

Summer you're so close I can smell you. You smell like...chicken(?).

Hello.

Finals:

AP Statistics

AP Psychology

AP Economics

AP English

That's one chapter! :D Depending the feedback. Hopefully this is okay.

Thnx 4 reading!