Disclaimer: I do not own 'A Muppet Christmas Carol', Charles Dicken's 'A Christmas Carol', or anything else for that matter except for myself who shall narrate.

The Sonic Christmas Carol
Chapter 1
With Eggman as Scrooge!

Calm. When it came right down to it that was what the season was: calm. Eggman hadn't been seen in a while, supposedly taking the holidays off. No chaos had occurred, not even petty crime was being held. It seemed like for once in a long time at the area of Station Square, there was peace for the Christmas season.

This particularly held true at the Mystic Ruins where a specific home, pretty much the only one truly, was faintly glowing from the inside. The home is that of Miles 'Tails' Prower and it was the site of a Christmas party. Inside it was calm and quiet, most of the action having already been done.

The party which was being held by Tails was an effort for peace and growing friendships. Sonic, Knuckles, Amy, Cream with her pet chao Cheese, Big with his pet frog Froggy, Vector, Charmy, Espio, Rouge, and even Shadow were there. Granted, things were already rocky and unsettled when it began, but it was thankfully put under tabs due to the fact that it was Christmas.

Currently in the living room, caked by the multicolored glow of the lights on Tails' tree, everyone was sitting down and enjoying glasses of eggnog. Vector was being a chatterbox along with Charmy as they told stories of some of their cases. Tails and Cream were listening intensively asking occasional questions. Amy was giggling nearby a nervous Sonic who was making sure to keep an eye out for another one of Amy's mistletoe schemes. Knuckles and Rouge were talking to each other in an unofficial debate, just trying to outdo the other in teasing. The other three guests however were just sitting back quietly, practically being stationary objects in the room.

"I'm telling you," Knuckles roared, "when it comes to bad Christmas movies, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians beats any others!"

"Don't even try it!" Rouge answered smoothly. "Everyone knows that while some movies are bad enough, remakes are even worse which is why the live action Grinch who Stole Christmas already beats it! Where did you come up with this 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians' anyway? "

Knuckles remained silent, considering that he got from a show featuring some janitor and three robots.

Shadow was nearby and rolled his eyes at their argument. "Oh please. Everyone knows that a fan fiction movie like the one Alias made us do is worse than any real movie," he muttered.

Sonic however heard it. "Now that is something we can agree about Shadow!" he called. "Not only was it a terrible parody, but Eggman starred in it!"

"Oh come on Sonic," Amy whined while wrapping her arms around said blue hedgehog's neck. "Even I thought that it wasn't that bad, and I'm the biggest movie-goer of us all."

Sonic took a deadpan look as he faced the fan girl while calmly peeling off the arms. "Amy… that better be your form of a joke."

"Actually Sonic I'd have to agree with Amy," Tails piped from his seat. "While it wasn't the most original idea, it was fun. And some of the songs were catchy."

"Same here!" Charmy shouted.

"Me too!" Cream agreed.

"Oh, you've gotta be joking!" Knuckles argued.

"I agree with knucklehead for once," Rouge added.

"Oh come on! It wasn't that bad!" Vector spoke.

"It was," Espio inputted. "It was poorly thought out and it was a waste of time."

Pretty soon a large argument broke out, shouting littering the air. The only one who hadn't spoken yet sat and watched back and forth at his shouting friends. Big scratched his chin in thought before getting an idea. He stood up and took a deep breath.

"FROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Everyone was frozen in place, looking on in shock at their feline friend. Even Shadow was afraid for a bit of a fraction of a millisecond there.

"Mr. Big," Cream squeaked first, "why did you shout like that?"

Big just reached behind him and pulled out a video from seemingly nowhere. It showed Eggman in a red suit walking down a dark and snowy road with images of Tails, Amy, the child known as Alias and even Marine the raccoon hanging above him. Between the sets were the words A Sonic Christmas Carol by The Unknown Alias.

"Why don't we just watch it instead of yelling?" Big asked as he handed the video to Tails.

"Sounds good to me," Tails decided as he went over his television set and slid the tape into the VCR. "We'll watch it the whole way through and see at the end if anyone's opinions changed."

"All right!" Charmy yelled as he dashed out of the room. "I'll be back with some popcorn! Who else wants any?"

As calls and orders were being placed on the heat baked corn snacks, Big smiled as he sat down with Froggy leaping onto the coffee table to turn on the surround sound system.

"Ah, the spirit of Christmas," Big sighed as the video began.

(NOTE! While the movie portion of the story plays, there will be occasional lines written in script formation in all bold, underlined, and italic fonts. These are little inputs from the viewers. In other words, this is going to be like Mystery Science Theater 3000.)

The movie begins in a snowy big city, somewhere between the big industries and suburbs. Commotion is common here as it is Christmas Eve. This town is the classic Station Square in the small business section. As the camera slowly lowers onto the town, the title appears.

A Sonic Christmas Carol

Sonic: Warning, may not actually have Sonic the hedgehog as the main character.

Based of 'The Muppet Christmas Carol'.

Knuckles: Oh, so it's two parodies in one.

Starring Miles Prower for Bob Cratchit,

Sonic: So some guy named Bob comes in asks Alias to have Tails play a lead role?
Knuckles: That would explain why you didn't.
Charmy: Oh please let Tails play this part? Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease!
Amy: Be quiet you three! I'm trying to watch.

Amy Rose for Mrs. Cratchit,

Sonic: Now that I think about it, maybe it was best I didn't star.
(Large Piko Piko hammer sound occurs before Sonic fell unconscious.)

The Unknown Alias for Charles Dickens,

Knuckles: Figures.

Marine the raccoon as herself, Knuckles the echidna for Fozziwig, and Ivo Robotnik for Ebeneezer Scrooge.

Knuckles: And that's where Alias dares to be different. Usually people just put Shadow for that role.
Shadow: I'm just glad I didn't really show up in there at all!
Sonic: But is it really right to say 'Featuring Eggman'? Wouldn't it be right to say that most of the sentences in this story are in reference to Eggman?

The camera continued to zoom out until we could fully see and hear the actions of the citizens. Two particularly plump pigs came out of a restaurant for example.

"Ah yes, that was a fine meal!" one said in satisfaction.

"Yes it was wasn't it?" the other agreed. "What shall we do next?"

"How have… lunch?" the first suggested.

"Ah yes that's a fine idea," the second agreed as they walked off.

A mole came by on a horse drawn cart as he got agitated. "Hey!" he called to his cargo, "Quiet down back there!"

The talking cabbages continued to chatter, even ignoring the one that was being taken. "Hey! Somebody help me! I'm stolen! I'm being stolen!"

Another was walking about showing his wares. "Get your boomerang fish! Guaranteed fresh! Throw away the fish," he spoke as he demonstrated, "and it comes back to me! Get them while they're fresh!"

Finally there was a stand with countless apples of all varieties as the two sellers were shouting out. One was Marine with sea pattern clothing on, including a jacket and earmuffs. The second was a teenage boy with a simple brown leather jacket over a plain black t-shirt and jeans. The boy had wildly curly hair that seemed equivalent to an afro, long sideburns, and a pair of steel glasses. This boy was Alias.

Knuckles: This child is wanted for writing countless parodies. If any information can be given, please contact the local authorities and you'll be rewarded with a pat on the head.
Amy: And here's mine to you.
(Another Piko Piko hammer sound before Knuckles fell over unconscious.)
Rouge: Hmph. Maybe now we can get a silent night.

"Christmas apples!" Alias shouted. "Macintosh Island, Red Delicious, Granny Smith!"

"Cheaper than the store prices and perfectly fresh!" Marine shouted while eating an apple herself. "Get 'em while they last!"

Alias stared hard as she tossed her fifteenth apple core in the last ten minutes to the ground. "Won't be long considering how fast you're eating them."

"Oh come on!" Marine whined. "I'm hungry! Besides, it'll drive the prices up!"

"Oh, I'm about to drive you right off into spa-" Alias began angrily as he wound up fist for a punch until he noticed Marine had suddenly stood rigid. He followed her gaze to see you, the reader watching this. "Oh hello there!" Alias said cheerily stand still as well. "Welcome to the Sonic Christmas Carol! I am here to tell my story."

"And I'm here because I lost a bet," Marine said as she began to eat another apple.

"I'm the Unknown Alias, and what you're about to see is an original story," Alias spoke.

"And my name is Mariheywaitaminute!" said Mariheywaitaminute. "First off, you writing this, that name crack weren't funny. Secondly, this isn't an original story!"

"Well of course it is!" Alias spat.

"Nuh-uh!" she said. "A story with a wannabe author and a sailing raccoon as the narrators?"

"Well sure! Why not?" Alias answered happily.

"Because A Christmas Carol was written in the 1800's!" she countered.

"I know," Alias said seriously. "I still can't believe it took me so long to make it! But there were so many kinks in it…"

"Why should anybody believe you?" Marine said agitated.

"Because I just so happen to know the entire story of A Sonic Christmas Carol like the back of my hand!" Alias boasted.

"Prove it," Marine demanded in disbelief. (Wouldn't you be too?)

"Very well," Alias said with a smile as he turned around and held out his right hand to her behind him. "You can see the scarred remains of a wart that was once there at the base of my ring finger and-"

"No! Not your hand!" she said disgusted. "The story!"

"Ah yes, thank you," Alias said as he turned back to the camera. "Vector Crocodile was dead to begin with."

"What?" Marine asked.

"That's how the story begins!" Alias answered. "Vector Crocodile was dead to begin with! Dead like T.B. victims at Waverly Hills Kentucky!"

"Not exactly the best way to begin a Christmas story," she muttered as she went back to eating her apple.

"See what I said about kinks?" Alias stated as he turned back to the camera. "When he was alive, Vector Crocodile had a partner in his money lending business with a shrewd man named Ivo Robotnik. You shall see him soon as he comes from that corner over there."

Marine quirked and eyebrow at this. "Where?"

"There," Alias answered pointing the nearest corner to them on the left.

"When?" Marine asked further.

Charmy: Why? And how?

Alias pulled his jacket sleeve back to look at a watch. He seemed to be timing something as a countdown on it went off. "Now!"

Suddenly the entire scene became slightly darker and dark dramatic music began to play. Turning from the corner arrived a tall but fat man, his torso looking very much like an egg, with a wild orange mustache and wearing a red suit and pants while walking with a yellow cane.

"There he is," Alias said grimly. "Mr. Ivo Robotnik. Coined by the citizens as 'Eggman'. A lover of the cold, harder than the frozen earth, and more self contained than the six hundred year old oyster."

Robotnik walked by, the people about the town stopping to watch the man. Marine could help but stare and shiver as the man walked on.

"Brrr!" she huffed. "Did it suddenly get colder around here?"

Alias sighed as he shook his head. He nudged the raccoon as he began to sing to the music.

(Alias):
When a cold wind comes it chills you,
Chills 'ya to the bone!
But there's nothing on Earth that freezes one's heart like years of being alone.

It marks one with difference like a husband hit with a pan,
But the one in the world who is the worse is the guy who's called Eggman.

Mean unlike any within this city, this Ivo Robotnik.

The nearby citizens then joined the author in song.

There goes Mr. Humbug,
There goes Mr. Grim.
If they gave a prize for being mean,
The winner would be him!

(Vegetables in a nearby cart,):
Old Eggman loves his money cause he thinks it gives him power,
If he were a flavor you can bet he would be sour!

Alias shrugged as he turned to Marine. "See? Even the vegetables don't like him!"

They went while other citizens sang as Robotnik came by.

(Citizens):
There goes Mr. Skinflint,
There goes Mr. Greed.
The undisputed master of the underhanded deed.

He charges folks a fortune for his dark and drafty houses,
The poor folk live in misery, it's even worse for mouses.

(Chorus women):
He must be so lonely, he must be so sad.
He goes to extremes to convince us he's bad.
He's really a victim of fear and of pride,
Look closely and you must find a sweet man inside…

Eggman stops in front of the women for a second before kicking some snow into their basket for collections. The women stared at each other for a second. "NAH!"

(Citizens):

There goes Mr. Outrage,
There goes Mr. Sneer.
He has no time for friends or fun,
His anger makes that clear.

Don't ask him for a favor for his anger just increases,
Not a crust of bread for those in need,
Not cheeses for us meeces.

There goes Mr. Heartless,
There goes Mr. Cruel.
He never gives, he only takes.
He lets his hunger rule.

If being mean's a way of life you practice and rehearse,
Then all that work is paying off, cause Eggman's getting worse!
Every day in every way,
Eggman's getting worse!

That was the end of the song as the large crowd had followed Robotnik to a building. The man then had sharply turned to glare at the chorus line. Everyone there chattered out excuses and left. As they left, Robotnik watched them leave and scoffed.

"Bah, humbug."

Do you think this story is good or bad? Make your stand at the polls! Also if you want to speak some riffs of your own just put them in your review. Also, if anyone plans to do an MST3K story on this, go right on ahead! Just let me know in a review so I can read it.

The Unknown Alias's status: Signed out

"You know what; I would love to see bacon on a reality show! I would actually love to see somebody try and vote bacon off of the island!"