FleetingSanityObsession... It's a bloody ZaDr, ok? hehe
I didn't know fear until I met his grin, his eyes, his insane eyes dripping sadistic, reeling mysteries. I didn't know obsession until I met him. I didn't know.
And yet, when I met him, all I could do was yell out, "Look, an alien! See him for what it is!! Green skin, no ears!!!" I didn't know what I was messing with. I didn't know.
I didn't know... until I saw his limp, minute form lying on my cold autopsy table. The reality.
Obsession. That's what it is.
But... if that's it.. why can't I go through with it? Why can't I do what I set out to do, what I constantly threatened him with every single day (for the past four years)? For some reason my heart ached violently, pounding in my chest so harshly I couldn't even breathe. He would wake up soon.
I can't believe I caught him. It all seems so surreal, it feels like a sick dream. I feel numb.
I have the tools to do it. I could kill him if I wanted to. Right now. But... it just doesn't feel right.
At all.
Just then, I heard a small groaning sound, a slight movement as his antennas perked up. "H-huh?" he said groggily. "Dib-thing...?" he questioned in his usual banter.
I swallowed my pride and didn't respond. Let him figure it out.
"What th-the hell..." he opened his eyes widely, quickly realizing that he was strapped quite securely to a medical table. "Wh-what's happening?" he began to panic. Then for the briefest moments, our eyes locked. Amber stalking Crimson.
His eyes looked uncertain and almost crazed. He tried to struggle, "Get me OUT of this infernal thing!! Right now Dib-shit!!!!" he yelled angrily, his eyes getting weak with frustration as he realized I was the only one who knew how to release him from the bonds.
I sighed deeply. "I can't do that, for you see, I caught you. Fair and square." I said in the calmest, coldest tone I could muster.
His eyes widened then fell into a heinous glare.
"Dib.. Let. Me. Go." he said lowly, his eyes heatedly fixed on me, his antenna's lowered down slowly.
I couldn't help but notice that although he was obviously fumed, it looked as though he might break down... and cry? I just stood there, staring at him. I couldn't move.
Seconds rolled by, minutes.
"Let me go!!!!" he screamed, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.
My heart practically stopped beating as I saw those tears. At that moment, something inside of me burst, seeping with it a surge of strange emotions.
I hated to admit it, but even though I say I despise him, I still respect him. ...I just wanted to rip away those bonds and make him.. feel better? Yet, I wanted to destroy him too, and make him suffer to his last breath.
But these tears, it's too much.
He sobbed, getting increasingly more frantic.
I suddenly was snapped back to reality and went over to him. "Zim.. listen to me.." he just growled and looked away.
I muttered expletives under my breath, but tried to remain calm. "Zim!! Stop crying and have some fucking dignity will you??!" That didn't work. I sighed and gently pulled his jaw so our eyes would meet once again. Just then, my anger surged and I shook him slightly.
"Wh-what do you want from me?! We're enemies!! Am I really suppose to just let you go so you can enslave and murder countless of innocent people, oblivious though they may be!!!!" I look down and took in a deep breath, "I'm not going to let you win," I said breathlessly.
Zim was quiet now. He looked at me as though ... the way he was looking at me was so different than from usual. It had a quiet sincerity, a soft almost pleading expression.
It made me quiver, and my heart started pounding even faster.
"My Tallest's," he spewed the name like it was pure venom, tears dripping down more slowly now. "Don't you see?!!!" he cried out. "If I really wanted to destroy this pile of filth it would've been done already!!!!" He yelled in frustration. "Don't you get it!!! I'm useless, nothing..! I have to stay here the rest of my miserable existence otherwise I'm dead. You hear me!!!! DEAD!!!!" He choked on a sob and closed his eyes, trying to regulate his breath.
My heart felt like it was in my throat, and for a second, I couldn't breathe. Did he just say...?
Suddenly it all made sense.
I didn't believe it, I wouldn't. "Are you kidding me?! I know your just trying to screw with my head.. its not gonna work, alien scum," I said triumphantly, though inside, I could tell he wasn't. Inside, I felt dead and cold. And I couldn't place why.
Zim scoffed. "I don't care anymore. And anyways, your head is much too big to 'screw' with." He said plainly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe. "I mean, look at it, its huge!!" He smirked lightly, but his eyes looked empty.
I barely bit down a scream, and just growled. "My head is not big for the last fucking time!!!"
Zim smiled wider but he soon looked down again. He became silent.
I looked at him curiously and sighed, "You know I disabled your pak. It was difficult but I figured it out," I said softly, mostly warning him about this, but also trying to break the silence.
He nodded. "I know."
He took a deep breath and looked at me, "Do you know why I told you all of this?"
I shook my head. "Why?" I asked, suddenly very curious.
"Because, well." he mumbled something quietly to himself, as if he was trying to get his thoughts in order.
I became quiet. Whether it is lies or truth, I wanted to hear what he had to say.
He coughed a little before he began, "Dib... I didn't come here to fight with you. I didn't come here to give up, either. I just..." he stopped and stared anxiously into my eyes.
I sighed, "Just.. tell me. Please." I said softly.
He took in a shuddering breath and looked down, "I... when you attacked me, knocked me out with whatever your shot me with, I didn't think I'd be able to tell you this. I thought you were going to slice me open and show the world that you really weren't crazy. But you didn't.. yet." He sighed harshly and looked blankly at the wall.
"What were you going to tell me?" I said slightly impatient. "Did you really expect me to trust you?"
He frowned, "No, but I didn't care. I thought it'd be best to just get it over with and then..."
"Then?"
"Then see what happens." He looked like he might cry again, but stopped himself.
"Ok... what's really going on here Zim?" I walked a little closer and looked at him intensely.
"I don't know. I have nothing to live for really. And, even before I was told of my exile, I had a suspicion it was just a joke. A mere plaything my leaders could be amused by. Me."
Silence. A choked sob.
"And then, I thought of you. How much I loathed you. How much I hated you. How much..." He stopped and started crying again. "Ho-how much I needed you.." he said in defeat.
...What does that mean?... I thought strangely.
But nonetheless, I felt my breath catch in my throat and my whole body tingled with a strange feeling of warmth.
"But I am Zim. Zim doesn't need anyone. That's what I thought for the longest time."
"So... what are you trying to say?" I looked at him with what I felt was.. hope? I didn't know why, but hearing him say these things made me want to jump for joy.
It felt so wrong... yet so right. I wanted to puke.
"That... although I struggled with these feelings for so long, I know. You will never understand. I'm a defect. Irkens NEVER should feel these things. Ever." He said softly. "I'm not suppose to want you. I don't want to feel this way. I don't."
"..And yet, I do." he admitted with a sigh. "I need to know.. what you're going to do to me. I know you hate me. And frankly, I still do. I.. its just some of my previous thoughts of you have slightly... changed.."
And that's when for the first time in my life, I saw Zim blush.
It was kind of endearing the way he looked for the moment, almost shy. It didn't seem like Zim at all. I think that's why I liked it.
I leaned in closer, just inches away. I could feel his warm, sultry breath trickling along my flesh. I shivered slightly.
"I don't know Zim.. what should I do with you?" I whispered hotly, and his breath hitched.
"Th-this is insane..." Zim laughed uneasily.
"I know..." I laughed along with him. Then, in a single moment, as my insanity reached its peak...
Our lips touched.
Obsession. Yeah, that's what is.
-Fin