I was helping in the E.R. Their was a bad crash between two school buses today and the hospital was packed with hurt children and frantic parents trying to insure that their child would be treated and taken care of before any of the others, even if the others had more serious injuries. The process of treating these children was complicated by this and since the crash was on the return from school, at about 3:00 every doctor who could had to work over time to appease the patients and family.
Most of the doctors had left by now, leaving me, the nurses, and unsurprisingly, Cameron. She was to compassionate to leave all these children until she was sure they and their parents were satisfied. I stayed only because I knew this fact, there was something I wanted to ask her without witnesses and this seems to be my opportune moment.
I finished with my patients and waited for her to finish with hers so I could catch her in the locker room. It was past 1 in the morning when she finally finished and I made sure to already be in the locker room when she walked in.
"Oh, hi Thir-- Dr. Hadley, I didn't know you had stayed this late." Cameron made her way to her locker. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea: we barely talk and can hardly be called more than acquaintances.
"Yeah, well I figured I might as well, I had nothing else planned for tonight." I said truthfully.
"I thought you would want to spend the night with Foreman, you two are together now, aren't you?" she asked, politely interested in the small talk.
"Yes, but I see him all the time, I could spend one night away from him." My tone was distant, thinking about what I wanted to ask Cameron about tonight and how she had unintentionally brought up the topic.
"Is everything alright?" Cameron inquired, concerned. I sighed, now is as good a time as any to ask.
"I actually wanted to talk to you tonight. Things with Foreman are getting serious and I was hoping you could help me make a decision on the matter." I stated quietly.
"About you and Foreman? Um... alright, I'll see if I can be of assistance." she answered me cautiously.
"Well, as I said it's getting serious, I mean it's not just a transient interest; he actually likes me and wants to be with me, it's long term." incredulity in my voice, "I wanted to know if you think I should end it." she gasped slightly, about to go off on me about how I could possibly expect her to help me decide wether I should break the heart of someone she worked with for three years."Wait! Look, I know House didn't honor my privacy so I'm positive you know about my Huntingtons. You know that means I'm dying and nothing can stop it. I don't know if I can put Foreman through what my father went through, or, " I paused and made eye contact with her as what I was saying started to sink in, "what you went through with your first husband." I finished quietly. She looked like I had slapped her, the memories of her husband reflecting in her now shiny eyes. She recuperated quickly, but her eyes still betrayed her pain.
"Thirteen, the pain of watching my husband die, the pain I still feel when I remember it, is horrible. Watching someone you love die is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But, I loved my husband and I do not regret loving him. I do not regret marrying him because the short time we had together was worth all the pain I experienced once he was gone. Foreman loves you and you love him and breaking up with him wont end that. He knows what he's walking into with you. He knows it won't be easy but he's willing to go through it, like I was willing to for my husband. Do what you think is right, but if my husband had ended it with me to spare me watching him die, I would've been bitter, angry that he didn't let me help him. I wouldn't have moved on. My husband was happy before he died, Foreman can be happy with you before you die. Don't hurt him by not allowing him the happiness both of you could have together." Cameron's voice broke and she was in tears as she finished. She turned away from me as sobs racked her body.
Silent tears ran down my face as I took in what she had told me. I didn't want to lose Foreman, I wanted to make him happy while I still could. I love him. Cameron was right, I shouldn't deprive us both of each other. Tears continued to run down my face as I walked uncertainly to Cameron, whose knees had given out and was now kneeling on the floor clutching her stomach as the sobs became so violent they were almost convulsions.
I stepped around her and knelt in front of her. With some effort I got her arms free of her body and helped her to her feet. I pulled her to me and let her cry into my shoulder as I stroked her back. "Thank you, Cameron. You are right." I said as I held her to me, letting her cry to her hearts content, silent tears still running down my face.